Reckless Abandon
Boulevard Of Broken Dreams
March 10th
Jinx's POV
The setting sun's rays cut through the gaps in the shitty blinds of the motel window, turning the backs of my eyelids bright red. I groaned, rolling over onto my side, smothering myself with one of the barely-stuffed pillows. But try as I may, falling asleep again wasn't happening. With a sigh of defeat, I felt around on the nightstand for my phone, the bright green backlight almost blinding me as I unlocked it to find a new message;
From: Mayhem
To: Jinx
How's LA? Did you get your money situation sorted out yet?
How's Tessa? She doing any better?
I texted a reply;
From: Jinx
To: Mayhem
This beautiful place isn't everything they say. I heard gunshots nearby last night, saw the red and blue lights of a cop car flash past my window not long after.
Note to Self: Don't go out alone after dark.
Bank's been completely useless, they won't issue me a new card because I owe too much in bank fees, and of course with no job now I have no way to pay it all back. DMV won't give me a new ID card as all my proof of identification is back in Newark, so that stinks.
What's the likelihood of getting busted with a fake ID? I'm getting desperate.
Tessa won't get out of bed, all she ever does is sleep. We've both known her long enough to know that's unlike her, and I feel guilty as fuck for having to rely on her for cash.
So all around, shit's rough. Wish you were here.
Did you and Will figure out what you're going to do about the little parasite yet?
A few moments later, my phone buzzed with a new message;
From: Mayhem
To: Jinx
Don't call it that, and we've spoken and decided we're going to go through with it. Believe me, I did not make the decision lightly, I'm scared as hell. But I feel like since I chose to be irresponsible, it's only right that I suck it up and pay the price.
Please stay safe, and I'll transfer a couple hundred into Tessa's account for you, hopefully that'll get you through the next few weeks while you figure something else out. And give her a huge hug from me, please. I'm worried.
Saw your Mom a few days ago, didn't know who else to turn to about the pregnancy. She sends her love.
I snorted in disbelief;
From: Jinx
To: Mayhem
Somehow, I highly doubt that. Don't suppose she'd send me some cash, or my paperwork to get my ID sorted?
Barely a minute later, Mayhem replied;
From: Mayhem
To: Jinx
Tried that. She more or less just said its your fault for taking off without really thinking things through, and that it's not her problem.
Hmph, figures.
To: Mayhem
From: Jinx
Typical fucking Adrienne. Suppose I better go wake sleeping beauty, dying for some grub. Talk later. xx
I arched my back as I stretched my limbs, feeling my bones crack and the pins and needles as the blood rushed back to the arm I'd slept on. My head ached as I sat up, all I'd really had to drink the past few nights was beer. Which given the circumstances, Tessa and I probably shouldn't have been buying so much of. I dug some pain killers out of my bag and washed them down with water from the bathroom's tap, before sauntering over to Tessa's bed.
"Tess."
She grunted in her sleep, but didn't wake, rolling over onto her side.
"Tess!" I tried again. "Hey, wake up!"
"Leave me alone." she grumbled.
"I'm starving."
"Just grab some cash out of my wallet." she mumbled.
"What about you?" I asked, digging into her bag. "You want anything?"
"I'll eat later."
"You said that last night."
"I'll eat later." she repeated.
"Fine."
I was inclined to tell her Mayhem was worried, but a fierce growl in my stomach kept me from doing so. So I left her be, stuffing a few notes into my back pocket and grabbing her hoodie from the corner of her bed. My jacket was gone, what other option did I have? I grasped the doorknob, taking one last look at her before I left our motel room.
***
Tessa's POV
Food just didn’t really appeal to me, not here, not in this place.
This was not what my life was meant to be.
Sure, Newark hadn’t been a joyride either. Despite Mayhem and Jinx’s best efforts to deter me, I somehow managed to graduate high school with a 3.8 GPA. Before everything got really bad, I had even taken a few courses at the local community college in something I always loved.
My head fell back against the pillow as I recalled why I had even started hanging out with Mayhem and Jinx and Will in the first place. In freshman year, I had been the nerdy kid. I mean I was the kid that was always acing my exams and papers. I was a fucking nerd… until my brain decided to hit a wall. It wasn’t an ordinary wall either; it was a mental wall I would never fully recover from.
When the depression hit, I just kind of dwindled in academics. The first semester of Sophomore year, I just stopped trying. Then I met Jinx and Mayhem and they introduced me to a life of partying, music, and all-around rebellion. Through Will, I had gained a massive love for Pantera. They got me through the darker nights, and helped me find the will to look for a decent Therapist. But that Therapist was back in Newark, and it hadn't taken long for the lack of their presence in my life take its toll.
I sighed and rolled out of bed. It had been quite a few days since I had showered. Maybe I wasn’t in the mood to eat, but I could at least run some soap over my body and brush my hair out. The water felt soothing on my back as I tried not to dwell in my misery. But try as I may, the mind will wander when it pleases.
The entire reason I had come here was because Jinx loved music, and it was her dream to be in a successful band that toured the world. Her dream. Not mine. I was just supporting her because that's what a good friend was supposed to do. As much as I loved playing guitar, it just didn’t appeal to me in the same way it did Jinx.
Turning the water off, I wrapped a towel around my body and flipped the TV on. I had no idea when my friend would be back, but I wanted to be back in bed before she was.
***
Jinx's POV
How terrible it felt to be surrounded by people, and yet still feel so alone. My heart felt heavy as I walked the streets of Downtown LA, lost in thought as I poisoned my lungs with my fifth fucking cigarette of the evening. I turned down Temple Street and passed by Our Lady Of The Angels, its fountain bubbling at the foot of the stairs. If I were a person of faith, I might've sought comfort there. But I didn't believe in God.
If God were real, 9/11 never would've happened. If God were real, there wouldn't be a war raging on in Iraq at this very moment. If God were real, my Mother wouldn't be sleeping with our next door neighbour and gambling her fucking earnings away every time she got paid. If God were real, my Father wouldn't have died of Cancer in September of 2002.
I'd had to grow up real fast when that happened. It was like the last shred of my childhood innocence had slipped away when he passed. His death was what led me to drink, to start smoking cigarettes and weed. That, along with music, was the only way I was able to cope. And I'd had Mayhem and Tessa. Well, I did. Until Mayhem got fucking pregnant and Tessa had decided to become a goddamn zombie who was borderline trying to sleep herself into a coma, or starve to death. Whatever came first.
.
The sound of rattling metal and wheels against concrete nearby made me realize I'd wandered all the way down to the LA River. My eyes surveyed all the homeless encampments below, their residents huddled around barrels of fire. The sound I'd heard before had been a little old man pushing a trolley full of the very few belongings he had. My chest constricted as a terrifying thought struck me; Was I going to become one of them?
***
Tessa's POV
Sometime after the soothing effects of the scolding hot shower had kicked in, my body had eased into a blissful sleep. I awoke some hours later, not realizing that I had left the TV on. The local news station was playing, reminding me that for as frightening as the shootings around LA could be, there were far worse things happening overseas.
“We are getting some strange news out of Iraq,” the lady news anchor said, “It appears there have been more casualties than originally reported. In a new report just out from AP, there are more than fifty reported deaths today alone and another reported injury upwards of two hundred."
“The Marine Corps are looking for Volunteer Nurses, please call the number on screen if you are qualified and willing to help.”
I needed to look more into that in the morning. I'd felt helpless the day the towers had collapsed. All those injured people, and I was still studying and unable to lend a hand in caring for them. Maybe now, I could make up for that. It sure as hell would be better than trying to support Jinx and her delusional dream, as much as I loved her. What Jinx failed to realize, was that there were multiple different ways to save the broken.
Hers was Music, Mine was Nursing.
Jinx's POV
The setting sun's rays cut through the gaps in the shitty blinds of the motel window, turning the backs of my eyelids bright red. I groaned, rolling over onto my side, smothering myself with one of the barely-stuffed pillows. But try as I may, falling asleep again wasn't happening. With a sigh of defeat, I felt around on the nightstand for my phone, the bright green backlight almost blinding me as I unlocked it to find a new message;
From: Mayhem
To: Jinx
How's LA? Did you get your money situation sorted out yet?
How's Tessa? She doing any better?
I texted a reply;
From: Jinx
To: Mayhem
This beautiful place isn't everything they say. I heard gunshots nearby last night, saw the red and blue lights of a cop car flash past my window not long after.
Note to Self: Don't go out alone after dark.
Bank's been completely useless, they won't issue me a new card because I owe too much in bank fees, and of course with no job now I have no way to pay it all back. DMV won't give me a new ID card as all my proof of identification is back in Newark, so that stinks.
What's the likelihood of getting busted with a fake ID? I'm getting desperate.
Tessa won't get out of bed, all she ever does is sleep. We've both known her long enough to know that's unlike her, and I feel guilty as fuck for having to rely on her for cash.
So all around, shit's rough. Wish you were here.
Did you and Will figure out what you're going to do about the little parasite yet?
A few moments later, my phone buzzed with a new message;
From: Mayhem
To: Jinx
Don't call it that, and we've spoken and decided we're going to go through with it. Believe me, I did not make the decision lightly, I'm scared as hell. But I feel like since I chose to be irresponsible, it's only right that I suck it up and pay the price.
Please stay safe, and I'll transfer a couple hundred into Tessa's account for you, hopefully that'll get you through the next few weeks while you figure something else out. And give her a huge hug from me, please. I'm worried.
Saw your Mom a few days ago, didn't know who else to turn to about the pregnancy. She sends her love.
I snorted in disbelief;
From: Jinx
To: Mayhem
Somehow, I highly doubt that. Don't suppose she'd send me some cash, or my paperwork to get my ID sorted?
Barely a minute later, Mayhem replied;
From: Mayhem
To: Jinx
Tried that. She more or less just said its your fault for taking off without really thinking things through, and that it's not her problem.
Hmph, figures.
To: Mayhem
From: Jinx
Typical fucking Adrienne. Suppose I better go wake sleeping beauty, dying for some grub. Talk later. xx
I arched my back as I stretched my limbs, feeling my bones crack and the pins and needles as the blood rushed back to the arm I'd slept on. My head ached as I sat up, all I'd really had to drink the past few nights was beer. Which given the circumstances, Tessa and I probably shouldn't have been buying so much of. I dug some pain killers out of my bag and washed them down with water from the bathroom's tap, before sauntering over to Tessa's bed.
"Tess."
She grunted in her sleep, but didn't wake, rolling over onto her side.
"Tess!" I tried again. "Hey, wake up!"
"Leave me alone." she grumbled.
"I'm starving."
"Just grab some cash out of my wallet." she mumbled.
"What about you?" I asked, digging into her bag. "You want anything?"
"I'll eat later."
"You said that last night."
"I'll eat later." she repeated.
"Fine."
I was inclined to tell her Mayhem was worried, but a fierce growl in my stomach kept me from doing so. So I left her be, stuffing a few notes into my back pocket and grabbing her hoodie from the corner of her bed. My jacket was gone, what other option did I have? I grasped the doorknob, taking one last look at her before I left our motel room.
***
Tessa's POV
Food just didn’t really appeal to me, not here, not in this place.
This was not what my life was meant to be.
Sure, Newark hadn’t been a joyride either. Despite Mayhem and Jinx’s best efforts to deter me, I somehow managed to graduate high school with a 3.8 GPA. Before everything got really bad, I had even taken a few courses at the local community college in something I always loved.
My head fell back against the pillow as I recalled why I had even started hanging out with Mayhem and Jinx and Will in the first place. In freshman year, I had been the nerdy kid. I mean I was the kid that was always acing my exams and papers. I was a fucking nerd… until my brain decided to hit a wall. It wasn’t an ordinary wall either; it was a mental wall I would never fully recover from.
When the depression hit, I just kind of dwindled in academics. The first semester of Sophomore year, I just stopped trying. Then I met Jinx and Mayhem and they introduced me to a life of partying, music, and all-around rebellion. Through Will, I had gained a massive love for Pantera. They got me through the darker nights, and helped me find the will to look for a decent Therapist. But that Therapist was back in Newark, and it hadn't taken long for the lack of their presence in my life take its toll.
I sighed and rolled out of bed. It had been quite a few days since I had showered. Maybe I wasn’t in the mood to eat, but I could at least run some soap over my body and brush my hair out. The water felt soothing on my back as I tried not to dwell in my misery. But try as I may, the mind will wander when it pleases.
The entire reason I had come here was because Jinx loved music, and it was her dream to be in a successful band that toured the world. Her dream. Not mine. I was just supporting her because that's what a good friend was supposed to do. As much as I loved playing guitar, it just didn’t appeal to me in the same way it did Jinx.
Turning the water off, I wrapped a towel around my body and flipped the TV on. I had no idea when my friend would be back, but I wanted to be back in bed before she was.
***
Jinx's POV
How terrible it felt to be surrounded by people, and yet still feel so alone. My heart felt heavy as I walked the streets of Downtown LA, lost in thought as I poisoned my lungs with my fifth fucking cigarette of the evening. I turned down Temple Street and passed by Our Lady Of The Angels, its fountain bubbling at the foot of the stairs. If I were a person of faith, I might've sought comfort there. But I didn't believe in God.
If God were real, 9/11 never would've happened. If God were real, there wouldn't be a war raging on in Iraq at this very moment. If God were real, my Mother wouldn't be sleeping with our next door neighbour and gambling her fucking earnings away every time she got paid. If God were real, my Father wouldn't have died of Cancer in September of 2002.
I'd had to grow up real fast when that happened. It was like the last shred of my childhood innocence had slipped away when he passed. His death was what led me to drink, to start smoking cigarettes and weed. That, along with music, was the only way I was able to cope. And I'd had Mayhem and Tessa. Well, I did. Until Mayhem got fucking pregnant and Tessa had decided to become a goddamn zombie who was borderline trying to sleep herself into a coma, or starve to death. Whatever came first.
.The sound of rattling metal and wheels against concrete nearby made me realize I'd wandered all the way down to the LA River. My eyes surveyed all the homeless encampments below, their residents huddled around barrels of fire. The sound I'd heard before had been a little old man pushing a trolley full of the very few belongings he had. My chest constricted as a terrifying thought struck me; Was I going to become one of them?
***
Tessa's POV
Sometime after the soothing effects of the scolding hot shower had kicked in, my body had eased into a blissful sleep. I awoke some hours later, not realizing that I had left the TV on. The local news station was playing, reminding me that for as frightening as the shootings around LA could be, there were far worse things happening overseas.
“We are getting some strange news out of Iraq,” the lady news anchor said, “It appears there have been more casualties than originally reported. In a new report just out from AP, there are more than fifty reported deaths today alone and another reported injury upwards of two hundred."
“The Marine Corps are looking for Volunteer Nurses, please call the number on screen if you are qualified and willing to help.”
I needed to look more into that in the morning. I'd felt helpless the day the towers had collapsed. All those injured people, and I was still studying and unable to lend a hand in caring for them. Maybe now, I could make up for that. It sure as hell would be better than trying to support Jinx and her delusional dream, as much as I loved her. What Jinx failed to realize, was that there were multiple different ways to save the broken.
Hers was Music, Mine was Nursing.
Notes
WE FINALLY HAVE SOME MORE INSIGHT ON TESSA!And HereticBlood6661 has joined the party!!
And just for context, this story takes place around 2004/2005, when the world was still feeling the aftermath of 9/11. The war in Iraq was still in its early years, but was already devastating.
Smart-phones didn't exist yet, so it was all numbered keys and green backlights. No Facebook, no Twitter, no Instagram. These were the MySpace days, and YouTube was only really used for Music Videos and Skits and random other bullshit.
Though this story is heavily based on the American Idiot musical
Jinx's part of this chapter was very much inspired by The River by Good Charlotte
- As we all know, Gates and Shadows made an appearance on that track and in the video ;)
They'll be in the story soon, have patience :P
Don't forget to Comment and Subscribe!!
Until next time xx
@J.J.
Hellz yeah! That's the aim, something new and fresh.
Glad you're enjoying it so far!! ^_^
2/8/18