From Mountains to Lone Stars

The waiting room was bland, an off-white, almost cream color coated the walls. Magazines lined the tables, but they were all out of date. The people sitting in the room looked miserable; they looked like death warmed over. And Maverick didn't look much better. She just held me head, a pale, cold mess.

She wouldn't talk to me. Lately, she wouldn't even look at me. It was like every time we hung out, all she did was cry. That never settled well in my gut. It scared me to see her like that. Maverick was a strong woman. She had lived through so much so to see her stuck in this state of self-destruction and fear tore at my heart. I had no idea what I could do to help her. I was a twenty-three year old and still had my own life, but Maverick was someone I could honestly see myself with. She was just the type of person who made me feel better but also made me want to be better. How was I supposed to help her?

Maverick sighed and glanced at me. I could feel her bright, blue eyes roaming my face. But I knew if I looked I would start to cry. She just didn't look like my girlfriend right now, and it was hard to look at someone who was pale and losing so much of their weight. She grabbed my hand and squeezed.

"I'm sorry, Matt." She whispered it. It was just loud enough for me to hear. "I know you don't want to be a part of this."

I quickly brought her hand to my mouth. "I do want to be. Maverick, I just... I'm scared too."

She sniffed and pressed a soft kiss to my cheek. "I promise, I will get better."

A nurse shuffled into the room and motioned for Maverick. My girl sent me a soft smile and moved to get up and get her first round of chemo. Before she fully left, she turned to me. "Can you pick me up in about two hours?"

I nodded. "Of course, babe. I'll see you soon."
*********************************************************************************************************
Johnny and Brian stared at me. Zacky and Jimmy had given up on trying to get me to talk about thirty minutes ago. We were supposed to be writing and recording today. One of our teachers had heard a clip of our song and wanted a demo from us. This could be our big break, but I was too zoned out to even pick up a pen. My brain was stuck on Mav.

"You either need to get her out of your head or write down what you're feeling. I know you care for this woman, but this is our moment to seize. Carpe fucking diem, dude." Brian slapped the back of my head. "We all like her, Matt, and we're all really scared too, but this is the time to make this moment and make it something for her and you."

Johnny nodded. "Mav wouldn't like you to sit around and worry. Everyone is worried about her; she just wants you to be her boyfriend. Come on, brother. We gotta at least get two tracks down before you go pick her up."

I sighed. "Let's do Warmness on the Soul since we have that written and then let's finish up Unholy Confessions. I have too much running through my brain to try a new song."

They nodded and handed me a microphone, motioning for me to in the booth. Jimmy and Johnny would lay their tracks first since Brian and Zach had already laid tracks for this song. While the three of us finished up Warmness, the two guitarists started to crush together some notes for Confessions.

I got into the booth and started to warm up my voice. I had no idea how long it would take for the rhythm guys to get their parts down, so I picked up a discarded pad of paper and an almost empty pen. Sighing, I closed my eyes and let my mind take over my hands.

A lonely road crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love, purpose undefined
While I recall all those words you spoke to me
Can't help put wish that I was there
And where I'd love to be, oh yeah

There was a gentle, almost country-sounding guitar playing through my head. It was very strummy and felt like something that Big and Rich would do. Yeah, Avenged were metal guys, but we took our inspiration from all different kinds of genres.

Dear God, the only thing I ask of you is
To hold her when I'm not around
When I'm much too far away
We all need the person who can be true to you
But I left her where I found her
And now I wished I'd stayed
Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
And I'm missing you again
Oh no, once again

The lyrics were just flowing out of me. This sometimes happened but never when we were in the middle of a recording. Maverick was on my mind, as she often was. Was this song for her? I thought Warmness was her track, but I had no idea why I would write something so mushy if it wasn't for her.

"Matt!" Johnny's voice blasted through my headphones. "Lay your damn vocals!"

I nodded and picked up the lyrics for Warmness. Taking a deep breath, I pictured Maverick in her green dress and started to sing. This was for her, finally this was for her.

Notes

A little filler before we get into the knitty gritty.