From Mountains to Lone Stars

"It's bad." I didn't know what else to say. How did you tell someone you really cared about that things were worse than you could have ever expected? How did you tell someone that you loved that you might be dying? I couldn't even bring myself to call my mom. Johnny had to do it for me.

"Mav, where are you?" I could hear a hitch in his voice. For the first time since I had known him, he sounded nervous. Matt never sounded nervous.

"I'm in my room. Matt, you don't need to come over here. You guys are supposed to be working on your music. Please, I'll be okay until you're done."

He sighed. "Alexa, please just tell me how bad it is."

"I don't know, Matt. My doctor didn't sound happy is all I have to say. I gotta go." The tears were already forming, and I was tired of crying in front of the man. He had already endured enough of me being emotional.

I hung up the phone and turned back to my homework. How was I supposed to focus on my Media Law and Ethics reading when I was waiting for a phone call that could determine the rest of my life? What was the point of even finishing this shit because there was no guarantee that I would even make it to graduation.

Setting my ethics book down, I turned on some Metallica. If I couldn't enjoy my homework because my brain was busy, I could at least enjoy some head banging music. Honestly, nothing made me feel better than music other than a new tattoo.

LIGHT BULB! I picked up my car keys and my wallet. Fuck Metallica and fuck homework, I was going to Aces Tattoos to get something done that would make me feel better. It was good that I always had a tattoo list ready to go. I think I was going to get my sternum tatted today. The pain would get my head out of the shit that was running through it, and it would also take away the pain of the cancer that was back.
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"Sternums are kind of painful to tattoo," Alex, my favorite artist, said, "Are you sure this is what you want?"

"Yes. Do you have time?"

He looked down at his schedule. "My next appointment isn't until 7 tonight and this should only take about an hour. Is $300 okay?"

I nodded and waited for Alex to draw up my new sternum tattoo. I had wanted something kind of elaborate in the beginning, but now, I wanted some peonies and poppies. They didn't need to be in color or anything, but I did want them shaded and to stretch from one rib cage to the other side.

After about fifteen minutes, Alex motioned for me to come to his station. I took my shirt off and Alex gently covered my nipples with some pasties. He placed the sketch onto my sterum and I smiled taking in what was soon going to be a new tattoo.
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Breathing hurt, but the tattoo looked fucking amazing. I smiled as I opened the door to my dorm room and then screamed when I saw Matt laying on my bed.

"What are you doing here?" I clutched at my chest, trying to stop my heart from racing.

He sat up and looked at me. His eyes were bloodshot. "I've been waiting for you here. Where have you been?"

"I went to get a tat. I just can't deal with this, Matt." The tears started to fall down my face, and I was angry that it happened. "I don't want this to be happening."

Matt pulled me into his chest. I winced when my sternum touched his stomach. "Mav, I don't know what to say. I don't have any words for you. What can I do?"

"Nothing." I sobbed now. The doctor had called on the drive home. "There's nothing anyone can do. Matt, it's really bad."

He pulled me back to look into his eyes. "Tell me, Alexa."

I shook my head. "It metastasized. It's spread really far, Matt. I have to have chemo."

Notes

Well it's not the longest chapter, but it's the best I got right now. I am still sick so I hope to give y'all some delightful updates.