Lost ... For Love and Phone

“Where the hell is he?” Izzie was walking around her apartment. It was cleaned out. All her stuff was in boxes against the walls of every room. Most of her furniture had been sold and would be picked up in one of the next days. Her brother was supposed to be here, to help her carry all the stuff, but he was late. Not that that was abnormal for him, but she just needed him to be here. Like now.

Her mom was looking at her from the corner of her eye. Izzie noticed, but she didn’t have the strength to do anything with it. Her mom was happy for her, but Izzie knew it was hurting her terribly. Shit. It hurt her too.

That was why she found herself walking around not knowing what to do with herself. She needed Matt, but he hadn’t been answering his phone either. It had already been day. She tried again “This is the voicemail of Matt-“ she threw her phone on the couch “Damnit!”
“Izzie-“ her mom tried carefully.
“Mom, please, just… don’t… okay?“ She left her mom in the living room and walked into her former bedroom. Her bed was already gone. Her clothes packed in 2 large suitcases. She sat down on one of the suitcases and stared at the wall. “What the hell am I doing?” she muttered quietly. She put her face in her hands, the lump in her throat making it harder and harder to breathe.

The tears that wanted to come out had to wait when she heard the doorbell.
“That must be your brother” her mom called out from the living room. Izzie rushed to the door. She started her argument before she even opened the door “Where the fuck have you been?! You promised to be here an hour ago. You didn’t even pick up your phone!” when she finally looked up she met her brother’s widely smiling face and behind him there was a heavily disguised popstar “Matt!!”

Her brother barely stepped out of the way before Izzie jumped into Matt’s arms, wrapping her legs around his waist.
“You! You asshole!! You could have told me you were coming”
“And ruin the surprise?” he smirked
“I missed you” he kissed her softly as he held her tightly.
“I missed you too. I needed you so badly and now you are here” the tears that she held back earlier were streaming down her face now. Matt carried her inside, acknowledged Izzie’s mom and brother with a smile and then took Izzie into the bedroom.

Matt let Izzie slide down his body, but never let go of her. He looked down at her, his eyes searching for hers. When they finally connected, he put his hands to her face. Wiping the tears with his thumb. “Why are you crying? Are you having second thoughts?”
“What? No!” She turned her head and kissed the palm of his hand, before turning back to him and stare into his eyes. He looked at her curiously, he knew she loved him, but he couldn’t help but wonder if he pushed her to hard.

They had been doing the long distance thing for more than a year. Matt flew back every possibility he had and Izzie spend a lot of time in California. It was a blessing Matt had a few months off and Izzie could plan her work around her flying back and forth. Because that was what it had become after a few months, her life revolved around being with Matt and everything else had become side issues. Three months ago Matt had been too busy to come to Europe and Izzie had a big conversation with her boss. He had been very understanding but her work was suffering.

“I just can’t understand why you can’t let the others do this interview! It’s the only thing you have planned over 5 days. You could use that time to come here! It has been a month, Matt, a month!”
“I can’t just skip, Izzie. I need to be there”
“But why? The others skip all the time, why can’t you!?” Izzie heard herself whine, but she couldn’t help it. She missed him and she was getting frustrated by everything that kept them from being together. She was certain he wouldn’t skip this interview. She often admired his sense of duty, but now she just wanted him with her. Him, Matt Sanders, the man from Huntington Beach, not him, M. Shadows, the rockstar. “Iz. This is ridiculous. It’s my job, the others aren’t skipping. We agreed to be there with all five of us. Even Brian is there.” Izzie noticed the annoyance on Matt’s face. Even on the tiny screen of her phone.

“Fuck! I don’t want to do this. I really don’t. But you can’t expect me to maintain this relationship on my own, Matt. You need to make an effort”
“I can’t believe you said that. I can’t-“ he took a deep breath “I can’t talk to you right now. But remember, there was a time you decided you were in this relationship all by yourself. Maybe you should think about that.” With that Matt ended the call.

Izzie stared at the screen, her eyes watering up. She stood there until one of her favorite colleagues knocked on the door of the meeting room “Izzie, are you ready for the meeting?” he looked at her and noticed the sadness in her face “Hey. Are you okay?” He walked over to her and pulled her in a quick hug. “No” she sniffed when he let go of her.
“What’s going on?”
“This whole Matt thing got me so wound up. I haven’t seen him for real for over a month. Now he has 5 days off, if he would just skip one little interview and he won’t. I don’t know how we can keep doing this. He isn’t making the effort, Frank, how would this keep working?”
“Iz, you’re not fair. I have met Matt 5 times in the past 6 months. His house is on the other side of the world. How is that not making an effort?”
“Ugh! I don’t want to hear this!” She nudged his shoulder with hers and smiled. He put his arm around her shoulder “Come on, let’s kick some management ass”

After her meeting Izzie allowed herself to check her phone. Matt didn’t call. She let out a deep breath, before sending him a message.

I’m sorry about earlier, I’m just frustrated about this whole situation. I miss you. X

Izzie didn’t hear anything back from Matt until she got home and he skyped her again.
“You can’t do this again”
“I know”

Silence fell over them. Then he got a dirty smirk on his face “I hate fighting with you when are not in the same country. It makes the making up part so much harder to do.” He looked at her “You up for some cyber making up?”
“Matt!” Izzie giggled
“So that’s a no?”
“No!” Izzie stared at the man that was on the other side of the screen. His dimples on display, his hazel eyes shining at her. His beard was gone and he was even more handsome than before. And he was all hers. It filled her with so much joy, but at the same time made her so sad. “I don’t know anymore, Matt. I’m going crazy without you.”
“I know baby. Me too. Are you ready to quit your job yet?”

It had been a running joke between them; Matt started asking the question when they had been together for a while and the answer was always the same. Until now.

“Actually…. I quit my job this afternoon” her voice was shy, but the smile that came after was worth a thousand megawatts.
“You did what?! Really?! You did!? You are going to come live with me?!” Izzie only nodded, enjoying the surprise on Matt’s face. She loved the effect those few words had on him.
“Yes. I did. I had a great talk with my boss. I was just about to ask, when he told me. He said he was sad to lose me, but he noticed that I wasn’t the person he hired anymore. And that he only saw her when you were in the country. And you know; I agree.”
“You just made me the happiest man in the world. I can’t believe we will finally be together for real. No more weeks of being apart. No more stupid skype calls, no more flying all over the world. No more being frustrated of not having you here with me, Iz.” Matt had the sweetest smile on his face.

“I can’t wait to have you around every day”
“Me neither, babe, me neither.

“Izzie?” Matt’s voice was laced with insecurity now.
“No! I’m not having second thoughts. Not even one. It’s just-. I loved this house from the second I first set foot in it, it was the first place that was only for me, I build my own life here, I was happy.”
“…was happy?” Matt couldn’t help asking, not really sure this was going the right way.
“No!! No, Matt. I was happy, I’m still happy, I’m even happier now you are in my life. But could you please try to understand? It’s an end of an era. The end of an important part of my life. A part where I have become the woman I am now. The woman you love so much, remember?” she winked before she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down for another kiss.

“I’m just-“ Matt kissed her before she could finish that sentence.
“I get it. You need to mourn for this period in your life before you can move on to the next. A next part that will be pretty amazing, if I might add” Izzie laughed through her tears.
“I just needed-“
“You needed me to be here and even though I should have thought about that myself, I can’t take the credit. You need to thank your brother. He called me a few days ago, told me I needed to get on a plane and come and get you. It was a bad idea to let you fly by yourself. You shouldn’t have to do this alone.”
Izzie put her head on Matt’s chest while she held on to him tightly.

“You ready to do this?”
Izzie nodded and smiled up to him with that wide smile he loved so much from her. He looked around the room, all her stuff in boxes. “We had some pretty amazing times in here” He grinned, while he slowly started to back her up against the far wall.
“We sure did” she looked up to him, meeting his mischievous smile “What are you doing?”
“Reminding you” he lifted her against the wall and kissed her. Izzie was happy to be off her feet, because that kiss was certainly earth shattering.

When Izzie finally got herself to break the kiss, she was panting. “Matt! My mom and brother are in the next room” Matt smirked “I know. That is why you are not getting more than that.” He let go of her and walked into the living room with his natural nonchalance. She was leaning into the wall, not sure if she would be able to stay on her feet. She heard him greet her mom properly and make small talk with her brother and shook her head with a smile “Asshole”

A few days later Matt tried to comfort Izzie as she softly cried next to him. The plane was calmly in the air after it left the airport in Amsterdam only 20 minutes ago. They had a long flight ahead of them and Matt had a hard time looking at his woman being upset like this. The goodbye had been extensively. All of Izzie’s close friends showed up at the airport. But the the goodbye had been extra hard on her mom and brother and therefore Izzie. Matt couldn’t help but feel a little guilty for taking her away from her family. “Shhh, it will be okay. We will bring them over as much as possible, or you can fly back. It will be okay” Izzie nodded lightly and sniffed a little more. “Please, I hate seeing you like this. What can I do?” Izzie shrugged. Matt put up the armrest of his seat and released her seatbelt before he pulled her against his chest. “Shhh, you will be okay” He kissed the top of her head and just let her be for a few minutes. When he noticed she’d calmed down, he remembered he had something for her that would certainly cheer her up.

“I have something to show you. They made me promise I would show you right away, but I kinda forgot, I hope you will cover for me” he winked. He grabbed his phone from his pocket and searched until he found what he was looking for. He handed the phone to Izzie and pressed play.

A little boy appeared on the screen. Matt’s oldest.
“Cash! Come onnnnn. I don’t want to wait anymore!” he looked over to where his little brother apparently should come from. “Cash! Don’t be a baby! Costumes are lame!”
“River…” Matt’s voice tried to reason with the older boy that was about to have tantrum because his younger brother wouldn’t do as he told him.

“I had to get my hammer. Izzie likes me in my Thor-costume” The other boy appeared on screen now too. He had his full costume on. The costume Izzie bought him on one of her last trips to Cali. Cash had fallen in love with the costume, but when River told him dressing up was for babies, the little one had been afraid to say he wanted it. Izzie told Cash Thor was her absolute favorite (getting a jealous attitude from Matt later on) and that she would love for Cash to wear the costume, especially for her.

“Daddy, is it on?”
“Yes it is. Do you boys want to start?”
“Uhuh”

River stood up straight, his chest all puffed out. Cash was quick to follow, mimicking his older brother.
“Hi Izzie. Daddy says you can see us. He is picking you up and we want to come!”
“River, we talked about this” Izzie noticed the impatience growing in Matt’s voice. She shot him a look, before she was drawn to the screen again.
“But it’s not fair!” the boy seemed to look at something outside of the camera range, before he continued. “Okay. Daddy says we can’t. But he says that you not leaving anymore when he takes you home.”
“Really!?” Cash added happily as if he heard the news for the first time “Oh Izzie! You can build us a hut again! And bake cookies! And take me to school! And we can go to the beach! And we can play-”
“I want Izzie to play with me too” River had a pout on his beautiful little face.

“Boys, didn’t you have something to say to Izzie?”
“Oh. Yes.” Then both the boys looked straight at the camera, dimples on display and Izzie couldn’t get over how much they looked like their dad “We are so happy you come live in our house. We made you cards for our spy club” they both held out drawings and then walked over to the camera, holding it so close she couldn’t possibly make out what was on there anymore. There was some going back and forth before the boys were in the picture again, waving heavily and screaming “bye”

Izzie had tears in her eyes. She had grown very fond of those two boys. She had no illusions. She would never be their mother, they already had one of those. And she didn’t want to. But she would happily accept them as the bonus they were.

“That was so cute” she sniffed again.
“Yeah. You should have seen them after the camera shut off” Matt mumbled. “Hey! This was about making you happy, not make you cry again”
“I’m not sad. I’m happy. I love my spy club cards”

The spy club was something they made up when Izzie flew to California for the first time.

The minute she entered the arrival hall she noticed Matt. But he wasn’t alone. Behind each of his legs a small boy peeped around. Izzie was surprised Matt brought his boys. It was the first time she was here and she would have thought he wanted to ease them into a new woman in their dad’s life. But there they were. Happy she put their gifts in her backpack and not her suitcase she approached the trio.

Some of her friends had kids and she usually had a great connection with them. She only hoped Matt’s boys wouldn’t be any different.

“Hey! Who are you two spies? You are doing a pretty good job at hiding, but I’m trained too. Are you sure we can trust this one?” Izzie crouched down and talked to the little boys, then she pointed at Matt. The youngest nodded heavily while the oldest seemed to think about her question a little more, the he nodded too. Izzie heard Matt chuckle above her.

She didn’t know what Matt told them about her, so she would play it safe for now “Hi, I’m Izzie” she put her hand up to the boys and they both shook it with pride. “We know. You are daddy’s giiiiiiirlfriend!” Now Izzie stood up to Matt’s height, meeting his face wide grin “Better tell them how it is right away” She caught herself staring at him. God, he was beautiful. Matt bend down to kiss her.

“Izzie. What spy club are you from?” River was pulling at her sweater, trying to get her attention. She dragged herself away from Matt’s face and got down again to the boy’s level. “Can I tell you boys a secret?” Both of the boys almost nodded their heads of “Well. My old club was a little too easy for me. Not dangerous enough. I was hoping I could join your club”
“WE CAN MAKE A CLUB OF OUR OWN!!!” River enthusiastically screamed. Boy, did that kid have the lungs of his dad.
“I want to too!!” Cash added just as happy.

“Okay. Then the club is started now. Do we need to invite him too?” she nudged her head in Matt’s direction. The boys shook their heads immediately. “Good. You need to turn away, Matt, we need to do our secret handshake”. They boys were glowing in anticipation. Izzie showed them an altered handshake and their secret spy club was born.

“They are really excited, but you are going to have a hard time dividing your time between them. They both want to have you all to themselves. And you know… I can relate to that feeling” Matt nuzzled Izzie’s neck and kissed her just below her ear. Then he dragged himself away from her a little more and they stared into each other’s eyes. “You ready to start this life with us?” Izzie nodded and put her hands in Matt’s neck before kissing him deeply.

“So, so ready.” Izzie sighed.

Notes

This could be the end of the story. I could also write one of my ‘infamous’ epilogues, but then I would love to hear from you what you want to see in that epilogue. How does this Matt & Izzie story need to end?

Leave some comments on how you liked this chapter. I love to hear from you <3