Lost ... For Love and Phone

“Today fucking sucked!” Izzie threw her keys on the side table at the entrance of her apartment. There was a time when the bike ride home from work could clear her head, but that was something of the past. She hadn’t been the same. Not since that night.
It had been a week. She couldn’t get that night out of her head. Especially in her dreams. That time with Matt was haunting her. She didn’t get much sleep and that was killing to her job. Her brain wasn’t working like it should and work was being a bitch. She had all these deadlines she had no idea how to keep, because there wasn’t coming a decent piece of work out of her hands.

She told her boss she would work from home the next few days so she could organize and hopefully get some work done. But not tonight. Tonight she would hang out on her balcony, soak in the sun with a glass, or maybe a bottle, of wine and hopefully drink herself to a good night’s sleep.

She just went into her bedroom to get out of her work outfit and into something more comfortable when her doorbell rang. She silently cursed. There was a big chance that it was her elderly neighbor complaining about something he thought she did while it never could have been her. It was like that at least once a month. Izzie opened her door, her fake smile already on her face.

It wasn’t her elderly neighbor. It was a heavily disguised rock star. Sunglasses, hat and hoodie on full force.
“Matt” she whispered in shock.
“Hey Izzie”
The look of the man standing in front of her startled her so much she slammed the door shut.
“No, No, No, he can’t be here, how can he be here!?” she muttered as she paced the hallway.

“Izzie, please let me in. Your neighbors think I’m some kind of creep luring in front of your door”
Izzie had to smile at the remark. He wasn’t even aware of how right he was. There weren’t much strangers in her apartment building and with the number of elderly people living here, the chance of being spied on was pretty high. It wouldn’t be long before someone would butt in.

She opened her door and stepped aside to let Matt in. He passed her and then stood still, looking around. He was here. In her little apartment!
“The living room is through that door” she pointed. “I-I- Just make yourself at home. I will be right there” Matt nodded and she closed the door behind him.

She walked into her kitchen and closed the door, grabbing her phone out of her pocket. She dialed Mia’s number. As it rang, she paced up and down her tiny kitchen “Pick up, pick up, pick up!”
After the fourth ring, Mia picked up her phone “Iz? Everyting okay? You never call”
“No. Everything is not okay. He is here!”
“Who is there? Santa Claus?” Her friend giggled, but Izzie was completely unaware of the fun.
“MATT! Matt is here!”
“Huh? What? How?” Her friend went into inquisitive mode.
“I don’t know! He stood on my doorstep just now! What do I do, Mia? What do I do?!” She couldn’t hide the panic. She didn’t know how she would be able to handle him being in her house.
“You need to find out why he is there. He can’t only be there because he wanted to return your phone”
“I have a new one” Izzie stated the obvious, the confusion clear in her voice.
“I know babe, but you will need to talk to him. He has to have a good reason to come over.” she seemed to think for a bit “And Izzie, get him out of your house, just to be sure”

Izzie knew what Mia was insinuating. It was part of the reason of her panic. She couldn’t have him in her house, with her bedroom that close. It was too much risk.
“Go talk to him Iz, keep me posted”
The friends said their goodbyes. Izzie took a deep breath before she entered her living room again. She didn’t see Matt at first, but then she noticed him looking at her books.
“You weren’t kidding when you said you had a lot of books” He grinned as he turned to her.
“It’s my favorite place to be in my house.”
“You have a really nice apartment; it’s so light and colorful. Just like you”
They stared at each other for a bit, but then Izzie shook her head. She couldn’t get lost in his eyes, that would only bring her into more trouble “Do you want to go for a walk? There’s a park nearby”
“Sure” Matt shrugged.

After Izzie had changed into some jeans and a t-shirt they left her apartment. Just as she expected her neighbor ‘coincidently’ stepped outside. Izzie exchanged some formalities, reassuring him that everything was okay. Matt chuckled when they finally left the building “Everyone is looking after you, aren’t they?”
“They all look after each other, I don’t see them much”

Awkward silence fell over them. Izzie broke the silence as they entered the park “What are you doing here Matt?”
“I came to see you.”
“But why?”
“I needed to return your phone” he reached in his pocket and handed her the phone.
“That was the only reason? It seems like a stretch to-”

“I have to cancel the shows for this and next week. The doctor benched me.” Izzie turned to him in worry. She only now noticed his hoarse voice. Her questions about him being there quickly forgotten.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I just can’t sing. I have to take very strong antibiotics, and I have to take it easy for at least a week. The others have flown home, but I thought it was a good opportunity to see you.”
That few words held so much more, she felt it weighing down on her. She needed to hear it. She needed him to say it, so she could say no and move on with her life.

“Why are you here, Matt?”

He looked at his feet and started walking again, following the path they had started on “It seemed logical. With your phone and everything”. His voice got softer with every word.
“Matt”
“I just had to, okay?!” he raised his voice and stopped. He turned towards her, a look of desperation in his eyes “I thought you would come and collect your phone. I had it all arranged. Security would take you backstage so I could hand you back the phone. I would see you again. We could-“
“We could what?!” Izzie grew impatient. She thought hearing him say he wanted to see her again, hear him say something more perhaps, would give her some closure, but she couldn’t have been more wrong. Hearing him say those words only made her more confused. She couldn’t have him, so there was no use and somehow it frustrated her to the bone that he would even say something in that direction, giving her that slight feeling of hope.

“We could have talked, hang out, have dinner… Everything that would give me the chance to be near you again. I can’t get you out of my head!” Matt’s voice was full of frustration now too and he grabbed her hands. He sounded as if he didn’t want it to be this way, but somehow it was. Well, she knew that feeling and it wasn’t fair of him to spring it on her.
“Well, you can’t okay?! You can’t think of me!” She pulled her hands out of his and quickly marched away, frustration visible in every angry step she took.

“Izzie wait!” Matt closed in on her and pulled her back to him. He could feel her heartbeat through her thin t-shirt. Her breath quickening by their close proximity.

Matt looked around, there was no need to do this out in the open like this. Their voices were too loud and they were drawing attention. He didn’t want anyone prying, he needed some privacy. Matt noticed a stream of water that ended in a small waterfall. He grabbed Izzie’s hand and pulled her in the passageway that was underneath it.

“Listen to me! I AM thinking of you, there is nothing you can do about it. I haven’t been the same since our night together. I don’t know why. I have no idea what this is, or how something as dating would even work, but I really want to get to know you. Damnit Izzie, you cloud my mind and I have no clue what to do about it” Matt’s hands went over his face before he looked at Izzie. Really looked at her.

Izzie let herself drift off in his hazel eyes once again. Every time their eyes met she found herself lost in them. She was overwhelmed by everything he said and for a moment she let herself think of what could be. Then she snapped back, realizing it could never happen. For so many reasons, but one being the most important one. One that had caused her guilt to haunt her.

“YOU HAVE A FAMILY, MATT! How the hell do you explain to your wife and kids?” She stepped one more step away from him, she couldn’t be near him. Her mind was clear, but her body was betraying her, wanting to be as close to him as possible. “I can imagine this being everyday business for you. I can imagine that you being a rock star gives you a woman in both your hands, but I’m not okay with this. I never should have slept with you, it was a mistake! I let you cheat on your wife and I’m really not okay with it. How can you be? How can you do this to her, to your kids? How can you stand here, telling me you want to get to know me while you have a family at home?! I can’t understand. Cheating is never okay and we never should have done it!”

Anger had taken over her and it was a welcome emotion. It was easier to deal with anger. It made it way easier to deal with Matt if she was angry.

“You can’t stay here, I will call a cab for you. Go home, Matt, go home to your family. You need to live with what you did, so do I” Resignation was thick on Izzie’s voice when she turned around and left.

She was already half way out when Matt pulled her back. This time he held her close so he could ward off her fighting arms. “Let. Me. Go!” she hissed.
“No. Not before you listen to me”
“Matt” Izzie’s resolve was slowly fading away with his calm voice and the kind look in his eyes. She was angry with herself that she let him this close. She didn’t stand a chance against him and she was pissed about it.
“Izzie” he replied with a grin. She shook her head. She didn’t want to be this effected by him, but the truth was, she was. Badly.

He stared into her eyes, making sure she was listening to him “I got divorced. 6 months ago”
“You are full of shit!” she replied angrily. Every fan of the band knew him and his wife were thick as thieves. High school sweethearts. And added to that… There was no way he’d gotten divorced and the fan base hadn’t gotten wind of it.
“I should be honored that you are making this much effort for me, but I’m not. My dad was a cheater! I don’t want to be with one!”

“Izzie stop fighting! I’m telling you the truth!” Matt looked at her with intend, convinced he could only make her believe him like that. “When we noticed our marriage getting worse, we decided to have a break. It was great timing, cause we were touring and we would be apart anyway. We just chose for her not to come this time. After a few months apart, we both realized our marriage had been over a while ago. We told the boys and decided to get a divorce. It was better for me and her to keep things quiet, I didn’t want anyone butting in. Not only for both our businesses, but especially for the boys.”

Izzie didn’t dare look at him, but when she finally did, his kind eyes were meeting hers. She only saw truth in them, or maybe that was what she was desperate to believe.
“You’re not lying?” she asked with a small voice.
“No. I’m not. I wasn’t kidding, Izzie. You were the first person I showed interest in for a very long time. The guys have been so excited, they were really looking forward to meeting you at the concert. I couldn’t stop talking about you” A deep blush came over his face. He put his hand on her face and caressed her cheek. “I can’t stop thinking about you. That night was very special to me, I hope it was to you too. Was it?”

She wasn’t sure she would be able to find her voice, so she nodded. The kiss that followed was all smiles and happiness. Matt didn’t wait for her to voice her reply, that nod was everything he needed. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her as close to his body as physically possible.
“I’m so happy to have you back in my arms again” Matt sighed. “This week was a daze. I don’t think my bandmates liked me very much” he chuckled. “The morning after at breakfast I was babbling a schoolgirl, while my bandmates were still drunk from the night before” He chuckled at the thought. Izzie cringed a little at the same thought.
“I saw you during breakfast”
“You did? Why didn’t you come over? I mean, why did you leave to begin with? Why didn’t you come and get your phone at the concert?”
“Because I thought you were married! It was bad enough I slept with you and I knew that if I saw you again I wouldn’t be able to resist. I was feeling guilty enough as it was”
“No need to feel guilty anymore” their lips touched again “I’m so happy to be here”
“Now I’m happy you are here too” Izzie laughed.

Their fingers laced together as they left their little hiding place. “How did you find me anyway?” Izzie asked, finally wording the question that had been in her head since he appeared on her doorstep. Matt laughed “That was a pretty hard job actually. You better be very thankful for me making so much effort”
“I will decide how grateful I need to be after you tell me the story” Izzie teased.
“I asked the ticket company. I knew the place you lived, so that made it a little easier. But you changed your tickets”
“Oh my god” Izzie started giggling
“Yeah. Oh my god” Matt confirmed with a smile “So I facebooked all the people from here with a seat and didn’t find you.”
“But were they even allowed to give you that information? I mean, there is this thing as privacy, right?” Izzie asked curiously
“That’s what you are asking?! Funny” Matt replied dryly
“Okay, okay. Continue”
“I contacted the hotel, because I knew the floor you were on, we could do a crosscheck of the names in the hotel to the concert ticket information. And that’s how I found your address”
“Jeez. Stalker much?” Izzie wasn’t able to hide her smile though and stopped to kiss Matt deeply “Thank you for finding me.”
“I’m happy I did” he replied with a smile.

“So”
“So. What?”
“So, you wouldn’t be able to resist me?” Matt said with a boyish grin. His hand enclosed Izzie’s a little tighter and his pace quickened. “Are your neighbors able to turn their hearing aids off?”
Izzie looked at him confused. He leaned down and whispered in her ear with a husky voice “Because I’m planning to make you scream”

Izzie felt her stomach tumble in anticipation and she walked a little faster. She couldn’t wait to find out.

Notes

I normally don't write wives and kids in my stories, because it feels a little awkward, but in this case it served a purpose.

I hope you guys like the chapter, but you weren't really missing he update yesterday, huh? Or did I make such a bad reputation for myself that you guys never counted on regular updates? :P ;-)

Leave me some comments on what you think! <3