Gunslingers

I watched as Matt's face fell as I told him I wasn't in love with him. I don't know why I said it; I have no earthly reason for what possessed me to say it. It wasn't true at all. I was deeply in love with Matt. In fact, I think he was my soul mate, but I didn't want him to know. It would only make it easier on us both. We were so god damn terrible for each other.

"So... you're saying you aren't in love with me?" Matt asked, his eyes not meeting mine again. "Because... your actions don't match up with your words. What are you trying to hide from me?"

I looked away from the hazel eyes I knew would see all I wasn't saying. "Matt, we really aren't good for each other."

"Because we keep denying our feelings for each other! Rae, can't you see how much the universe wants us to be together. We are being pushed together at every turn." Matt grabbed my hand and pressed a kiss to it.

"Matt..." I finally looked into those hazel eyes. "I just don't think I can deal with this anymore. It's too much. Everything we do to each other is too much. We literally fight each other at every turn. We fight and fight and fight just to see what the other is going to do. Every turn is worse than the next. We are NOT good for each other. Why can't you see that."

"Because I'm in love with you. It's that simple, Rae. When you love someone, you love them."

I sighed. "Love shouldn't be this hard, Sanders. We fight, we fuck, we make-up, we fight again. How the hell does that make sense? That's not love, Matt! That's fucking insanity!"

Matt looked at me, his brows furrowed. I could see how much he hated this. "So what are you saying, Rae?"

I looked down at my foot. This was going to be so hard to say. "I'm saying that we aren't actually in love. That the two of us together are too explosive to actually work. I'm saying that we should not be together. I'm saying, Matt, we shouldn't even be friends. I think you should take the guys and go home. I don't even want to see you anymore."

I tried to hide my tears. While it was true I was in love with him, love shouldn't be this hard. I couldn't keep dealing with the constant ups and downs of this relationship. It was too much, and after losing my leg, I just didn't want to put any effort into anything but healing. I had to figure out who I was now.

Matt looked at me. For the first time ever, I saw actually hatred there. "Fine." He stormed out of my room, slamming the door behind him.

And that was it... I doubted I would ever see him again.

Notes

Alright y'all that ends Gunslingers! A sequel is in the works.