Gunslingers

I hadn't been with Avenged long and I was already going half way around the world to help them deal with their personal lives. I loved it already and felt like their older brother, but I felt like Matt needed more help than his boys were willing to give.

For whatever reason, they all saw this Rae woman as the devil. They thought she was the root of all their issues, but I strongly believed there was more to it than that. I don't know how Matt felt about a one-on-one discussion, but I think having a relative outsider would help him process his feelings.

Matt walked into our hotel suite, a frown prominent on his face. The guys all rushed over to him, but he brushed them off and grabbed a bottle of whiskey from the mini fridge. The others immediately backed off, but I was more bold than that. The worst he could do was hit me, and I was a lot tougher than I looked.

Walking over to his room, I pushed the door open and approached the burly man. He was already chugging away at the bottle. I knew the guys all had a problems in the wake of Jimmy's death, but I had hoped they were more healed than excessively drinking.

"Hey, Matt. Mind if I join you?"

Matt's eyes met mine. "You gonna ask me about what happened?"

I shrugged. "I don't want you to be alone, man. I know I've only know you guys a short amount of time, but I already care for you. Look, whatever happened with this Rae woman, it seems pretty bad. And from what I understand of it, you are not over her. I'm sensing you still care for her despite everything that has happened in the past."

"Brooks, don't me perceptive." Matt took a huge swig from the bottle. "Look, the gist of it is that she's been in my life for eight years. We were hot and heavy the first time we met. It was magical, and I'm sure a lot of that had to do with how young we were. But I messed it up and never fully fixed that. I tried to scrape over it with pretty words, but Rae is a smart woman. Here's the thing, though, I'm not alone in our issues. She has just as much blame as me."

I sat down next to him. I knew that they had all served. They had all been Navy boys. Johnny, Brian, and Jimmy had been pilots. I think what surprised me most was that Syn chose to fly and not go to the SEALs. Of course, when I found out Zacky was a SEAL, I thought the same thing. Matt never surprised me as a SEAL or DEVGRU. And I knew where he was coming from... I had been a Green Beret.

"Matt, you know you can talk to me. I get it."

He rolled his eyes. "Get what? Brooks, no offense, but of all of you only Zach somewhat understands. He never lived the high intensity of DEVGRU though."

"I was a Green Beret in my younger days, Matt."

Matt's eyes popped. "No shit?"

I chuckled. "No shit. I met my wife on base. She was a bad ass National Guard nurse who didn't give me the time of day. She kept telling me she wanted to be a surgeon in a war zone. Of course, I was a jackass Special Forces guy and laughed at her. We made it through though. I realized that was a bad attitude."

He passed me the bottle. "Rae was the first woman in combat, the first woman to be a Special Forces operator. We originally got into hot water because I laughed at her notion of being like me." Matt paused to chuckle harshly. "She proved me fucking wrong. Basically when we were in Iraq, she got injured fairly badly and blamed me for it. She left us for three years and only came back for Brian and Laura's wedding. We fucked there, but she still blamed me for delaying her dream. A few years later, Jimmy was dead. We got drunk, fucked, and ended up married. Since then we've been friends. We fucked again, unprotected. Rae got pregnant but aborted. Apparently, we had twins and one was never successfully aborted. She lost a leg and our other baby."

I took a swig of whiskey and handed it back to Matt. Shit, the man had been through a lot with this woman, and I could understand why the guys were so protective of him. It sounded like they hated each other because whenever they got together, a dozen things went wrong.

"Matt, how do you feel about her?"

He paused to think.

"No, don't think. I'm going to say her name," I said, "And you tell me the first thing that pops into your brain."

Matt nodded. I could sense a little apprehension and could already see his wheels turning. I knew that was going to happen, so I didn't say her name yet. He never knew when it would come. Matt took another swig from the bottle.

"I didn't know you were married, Brooks."

A chuckle sounded from me. "Everyone says that. I'm pretty open about my love for my wife. She's the best thing that happened to me. Well, her and my two boys. I don't know what I'd do without them."

"How long did you serve for?"

"I'm five years older than you, so the same time as you did. I got out after my wife said it was making me a different person and I was missing my boys grow up. I didn't and don't want to be an absentee father. I love them too much."

Matt nodded. "It's nice, isn't it?"

I smiled. "The best. Rae."

"Home."

Notes

Soooooo a Brooks chapter. What are we thinking?