Gunslingers

I paced the bathroom floor nervously. This couldn't actually be fucking happening to me. I was always so careful; I made sure that nothing unexpected ever happened because my career was important to me. And even if our little roll in the hay did result in something, how was I supposed to tell Matt? The man was still grieving and in no position to deal with this. To be fair, neither was I.

The timer on my phone went off, and I approached the counter. Tell me why I was more afraid of a stick covered in my pee than I was of combat. I had faced down men with guns and men with IEDs. Yet, here I was, nervous as all fuck to pick up a pee-covered stick.

Sighing, I lifted the stick. A plus sign. FUCK! Anger coursed through my body. Once again, Matt had fucked me over. I threw the stick against the wall and stormed out of the room. I wasn't ready to be a mother... but could I go through an abortion? I was all pro-choice, but it terrified me to think about having to make that decision. I wasn't sure I was ready for a baby, at all, but I knew that it would be best for me.

But before all that, I had to tell Matt. Yes, it was my body, and regardless of how the man felt, I was going to make the decision. It was my body, but he deserved to know. He deserved to know that I might bring a life into this world. More than that though, I needed someone to calm me down. Matt always calmed me down.
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"Are you sure?" Matt asked, watching as I continued to pace his room.

"Matt, I took a pee test like five times before I came over. I'm pretty fucking sure." I sat down on his couch. My feet had actually started to hurt from the amount of pacing I was doing.

Matt rubbed the back of his head. "What are you thinking of doing?"

"I don't know, Sanders. Part of me, the biggest part, is by no means ready to have a child. The other part doesn't know. I'm still in the military. If I'm pregnant, they won't let me be active duty anymore. Although, I think I'm ready to hang up that hat."

Matt motioned for me to continue. He was very good at that. He wanted me to think everything through. It was one of the many things I loved about him.

"I don't know, Matt. I need help." The tears finally broke out of my ducts. This was just all too fucking much.

Notes

Sorry for the short update, but I have to work tomorrow and need sleep, but I didn't want to leave y'all hanging for another day