I must have looked really odd walking down to the beach, a twenty three year old woman grasping at a teddy bear for dear life. Truth be told, I didn’t care, I just needed some company. After my phone call with mum earlier I felt so alone and miserable.

When I reached my usual bench at the end of the pier, I dumped my bag on the floor and dropped onto the bench, wrapping both my arms round the bear and pulling it as close to me as possible. I buried my face in its fur, took a deep breath and took a minute to pull myself together.

I shifted the bear into the crease of my arm and leant forward to pull two bottles out of my bag, popping the tops off. I took one in my hand and placed the other on the pier railings.

“Here’s to you daddy, shine on,” I sighed, lifting my bottle to the sky in a kind of salute before taking a long swig of the beer. Some might say opening a bottle of beer and leaving it undrunk is a waste of alcohol, but to me it’s a tradition, a sign of respect.

I got my Bluetooth speaker out of my bag, turned it on and connected my phone, putting it next to the bottle on the railings. I opened the Spotify app and pressed play; the opening notes of Shine On You Crazy Diamond by Pink Floyd came floating out from the speaker. I could feel the emotions welling up and my eyes becoming teary. I took another drink from my bottle, leant back on the bench and closed my eyes. As the song changed to Comfortably Numb, I felt the bench shift next to me.

“Urm, hi?” He offered as I turned to look at him.

“This is Fred,” I explained as he sat there looking confused.

“And the beer?”

“I needed it,” I shrugged, pulling the teddy closer to me. “Do you want one, or are you in a rush somewhere?” I grabbed another bottle from the bag and offered it to him.

“Yeah, sure, thanks. I’m in no rush, just fancied some fresh air,” he took the beer and popped the top. He lifted his bottle in the air, pointing it toward me. I clinked my bottle with his before sitting back and closing my eyes again.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” he asked a few minutes later.

“I don’t think I can, to be honest,” I admitted, opening my eyes and slumping down further into the bench. “Maybe someday, but not right now.”

“Whatever, I’m not gonna push you into it.”

“Sorry for being kinda creepy yesterday with the whole ‘I know’ thing, by the way.”

“Don’t worry about it, just don’t go all crazy on me or some shit. And, erm, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone anything that I said yesterday.”

“What am I gonna do? Call up Perez Hilton like hey, yeah, like, Zacky V’s girlfriend is cheating on him and throws wine glasses at him for fun! Give me the benefit of the doubt here, I’m not stupid,” he snickered as I attempted a shit valley girl accent.

“I dunno, you could be some mega creepy stalker chick who’s gonna kidnap me or something!”

“Hey now, I was here first! No bullying or I’ll take that beer back,” I laughed.

“What’re you doing out here with a bear, anyway?”

“I just didn’t wanna be alone.”

“You could have called me, you know.”

“With what, the bat signal?”

“Yeah yeah, smart ass,” he chuckled and took another drink. “Give me your phone.”

“What, why?”

“You know, for a math student, you’re not all that clever.” He winked at me as I passed him my phone. “Right, okay, number sorted.”

“Sweet, now I’m definitely calling Perez!”

Zacky’s POV

I looked across at Layla and saw the sad look on her face as she stared out at the ocean. “Are you planning on sitting here all day, or do you wanna do something fun?” I asked.

“Something fun sounds good,” she replied, sending a small smile my way, but it didn’t reach her eyes.

“Alright, let me make a quick call,” I pulled my phone out of my pocket. “Hey Gates, fancy coming down to the beach with a couple of guitars?” I asked when Brian answered his phone.

“Sure, sounds good. I’m with Matt and Short Shit at the moment, okay if they come as well?” He asked.

“Yeah sure, if they wanna. We’re gonna need 5 chairs then. Could you bring some beer as well, and some liquor, vodka, JD, or something?”

“Yeah, can do, anything else?”

I covered the microphone and looked at Layla, “What do you wanna drink?”

“Whisky, like proper whisky.”

“Proper whisky?”

“Yeah, like Jameson, Laphroaig, Chivas Regal, something like that.” I nodded and returned to the call.

“Oh, and some Jameson as well.”

“You’re not asking for much, are you?”

“Not at all,” I laughed.

“Yeah, whatever. We’ll be there soon.”

“Thanks, we’ll be down by the pier, see you soon.” I hung up and put my phone away, turning back towards Layla. “You ready to go?”

“Yeah, just gimme a sec, need to get Fred hidden in my bag. I’m done embarrassing myself today.” I laughed as she grabbed her bag and pulled it onto the bench before starting to pull things out of it. When there was a pile of her things on the bench, she grabbed the bear and pushed it right down to the bottom of her bag before putting everything back into her bag and zipping it up.

“What’re you doing with that bottle?” I motioned to the open beer that I presumed she’d put on the railings before I’d turned up.

“Oh, that’s coming with us,” she replied, standing up and grabbing the bottle as she swung her bag over her right shoulder. “So, what’re we doing?” She asked as we made our way down the pier towards the beach.

“The guys are coming down with a couple of guitars and some drinks, figured we could just chill on the beach for a bit.” She stopped walking suddenly, and as I turned to face her I could see that her pupils had dilated.

“The guys? As in..?” She half choked, half squeaked.

“Yeah, Matt. Johnny and Bri are on their way.”

“Fuck!” Now she was just squeaking.

“Y’know, only dogs can hear you right now.” I laughed.

“Sorry. Just wasn’t expecting this when I got out of bed this morning.”

“Just chill.” I smiled at her.

“Yeah, like that’s possible.” She grumbled under her breath as we began walking down to the beach again.

When we got down to the beach, the guys hadn’t arrived yet, so we decided to scout out a good spot for the afternoon and sit and wait.

“What’s with the bottle?” I asked, as Layla dug it in to the sand by her feet.

“It’s just a thing.” I tried to find out more but she shrugged in reply, shaking her head at the same time. “Another question for another day.” I was about to reply when the guys turned up. “Holy shitballs!” She squealed, clamping her hands over her mouth as we laughed at her.

“Holy shit, indeed. Who’ve we got here, Zee? Finally found someone who finds your jokes funny?” Matt laughed.

“Oh haha, you’re so funny it hurts. This is Layla and, well, you know who they are.” She glared as I introduced her.

“You have this knack of making me sound really creepy.”

“No one’s creepier than Johnny, so you’re good!” Brian chuckled as Johnny dropped the chairs he was holding and punched his arm. “Urgh you dick! Take a chair and sit the fuck down.”

We got the chairs unfolded and settled down into a circle. They’d been to a liquor store and pulled five bottles out of a bag and some red solo cups. We poured our drinks and settled back. Brian had bought two of his acoustics with him; he was messing around with one and I had the other.

The next few hours were spent playing around with melodies and singing stupid songs. Matt was making sure that all our drinks stayed filled and Johnny seemed to get drunker by the minute. Layla seemed to be handling the whisky well, considering that it looked like she’d drank over a third of the bottle. It looked like she’d cheered up a bit from earlier as well; my plan to get the guys down the beach and chill was working now she’d calmed down after her little freak out which, I have to admit, was quite funny.

“So, you’re not from here.” Johnny stated.

“Well done Captain Obvious,” she deadpanned and the rest of us laughed at her response to Johnny. “But, you’re right. I moved here from England last autumn.”

“The fuck is an autumn?”

“Fall, like, the leaves fall down. Autumn, we’re classy people us Brits,” she grinned. Mocking Johnny after no more than half an hour, she’ll fit in just fine.

“Why’d you move?” I asked.

“Just needed a change of scenery,” she stated with the same tone as when I asked about the bottle; maybe it’s best to just leave it at that. “Can I?” she asked Brian, motioning to the acoustic he was holding. He nodded and passed it across to her.

She took it from him and rested it on her lap, crossing her legs. She plucked a few of the strings and adjusted the tuning slightly before settling herself and started playing. It was like nothing I’d ever heard before. It took me a minute before I realised she was playing Pink Floyd. She was so lost in her playing, eyes closed and head swaying from side to side. It was hauntingly beautiful.

I looked around our little circle at my friends. Matt also had his eyes closed and was drumming his fingers on his thigh, in time with the guitar. I caught Brian’s eye and he shot me his signature smirk. And then there’s the bottle of beer wedged in the sand; the opened yet still full bottle. I was lost in my thoughts, trying to work out the relevance of the bottle, when she started singing.

“Remember when you were young, you shone like the sun.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Now there's a look in your eyes, like black holes in the sky.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
You were caught on the crossfire of childhood and stardom,
Blown on the steel breeze.
Come on you target for faraway laughter,
Come on you stranger, you legend, you martyr, and shine!
You reached for the secret too soon, you cried for the moon.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Threatened by shadows at night, and exposed in the light.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Well you wore out your welcome with random precision,
Rode on the steel breeze.
Come on you raver, you seer of visions,
Come on you painter, you piper, you prisoner, and shine!”

She sung so softly, it felt like a private moment, something we shouldn’t be witnessing, but we did. I could see Matt was itching to join in and sing with her, but something was holding him back; the same was intriguing me. There was so much emotion in her voice, so much pain.

When she’d finished, she handed the guitar back to Brian, picked up her cup and swiftly drank all that was left in it before picking up the Jameson bottle and refilling it.

“I’d like to propose a toast,” Layla stated, raising her cup, “to those loved and lost.”

“Those loved and lost.” We all raised our cups and drank before settling back and relaxing.

“Oh no no no. Don’t you dare!” Layla complained as Brian started playing another song. He just smirked and continued playing. “Urgh, god, you’re an asshole. Has anyone ever told you that?”

“Several times.” He laughed. I picked up the other guitar and joined in. He was playing the acoustic version of Layla, so I decided to pull out the proper riff and channel Eric Clapton.

“Oh, I see how it is. You’re both assholes.”

Matt joined in and Layla sat there pouting until her phone started ringing and the imperial death march drowned out our playing. She answered it and picked up the bottle from the sand before walking off towards the shoreline.

“So, Zack, where’d you find her?” Matt asked me.

“You make her sound like a stray puppy! I met her on the pier yesterday after I stormed out of an argument with Gena.”

“Oh I bet Gee’s gonna love knowing that!” Johnny laughed.

“You’d be risking all our lives by telling her, gnome. You know that. What would you say anyway? ‘Yeah, Zee met this chick and we spent the day hanging out with her at the beach and getting drunk?’ That would go down so well…” Brian pointed out. “I don’t know why you’re still with her Zack, to be honest. She’s a total bitch and we all know she’s been cheating on you.”

“I know, I know. I was actually talking to Layla about that last night. She gave me some pretty good advice.” I shrugged.

“Yeah, well, by the looks of things you’re gonna want to sort whatever out as soon as possible.” Matt said, sharing a look with Johnny and Brian, who both smirked at him.

“The fuck?”

“Nothing.” The three of them chorused.

“Yeah, nothing my ass.” I sighed and looked out towards the shore. My phone started vibrating so I pulled it out and checked it.

Baby where are you? I need you

I could almost hear her whining. “I’ve gotta go,” I groaned at the same time as Layla came back and sat down, her eyes bloodshot. “Are you okay?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah I’m fine.” She nodded, staring down at the phone in her hands.

“We should probably be off, too. I promised Chelle that I’d cook tonight.” Brian gave me a look as he stood up, along with the other two. “Zack’ll walk you home; this place is full of weirdos.”

“Thanks, but you don’t have to.”

“No, it’s fine. Come on,” I motioned for her to get up and join me as we all made to leave.

We all folded away our chairs and made our way back to the parking lot where Brian had left his car. We loaded the chairs and guitars back into his car and Layla tried to give him back the Jameson’s but he refused to take it. We said our goodbyes and they climbed in and drove off.

We walked in silence north along PCH, before turning off up Goldenwest Street towards the golf club. I knew the area, these houses didn’t come cheap. When I asked where we were headed, she replied Island Bay Lane, right next to the golf club.

“Are you some kind of criminal? These houses are insane.”

“Oh yeah, I’m actually Huntington’s top druglord.” She laughed and came to a stop.

The house we were in front of had 3 garages and a balcony on the first floor. She walked up the drive, unlocked the front door and walked in. I leant against the doorway and looked around. Her house was bigger than I thought it would be. It had a big open plan living and dining area. The walls were full of framed photos and posters. There were a few from our old tours as well as a couple of Vengeance University ones. That made me chuckle.

“That one’s really old,” I pointed to one of the limited run posters from my clothing line that I’d released years ago. She turned to look where I was pointing as she headed straight to the kitchen.

“I bought it in 2009 with my first pay check. Cost a fucking bomb with postage and customs fees! Thanks for walking me home, by the way, you didn’t have to.”

“Oh come on, what kind of guy would I be if I let you wander the streets at night, drunk?”

“A normal one?”

“Well yeah. But that’s not the point.” I laughed.

“Thanks though, you made a shit day considerably less shit.” She sighed as she grabbed a tumbler from a cabinet and filled it with the Jamesons. “Have fun with superbitch.”

“Oh, you’re hilarious. Pray for Zee.”

“Hush, it won’t be that bad. Needs be just lock her in the basement or something.” She laughed as she took a large sip of the whisky.

“Yeah, we’ll see. I’ve gotta get going. See you round?”

“I’m sure you will. Besides, you basically all but forced your number on me!” She walked back over to where I was standing, still gripping her drink.

“Oh you love it really.”

“I call bullshit. Really, thank you so much for today Zack. It was exactly what I needed,” she sighed; I could see the sadness still in her eyes.

“Stop thanking me, it was fun. Just text me if you need anything, okay?”

“I will. See you.” She smiled and closed the door behind me as I turned and walked back towards the street.

The thought of going home and seeing Gena after such a great day was horrible. She would just end up bitching and whinging about where I’d been and who with and why she wasn’t invited. It was getting tiring but it was either put up with it or just break it off with her. Neither option was preferable, but I shouldn’t have to live with this. I’ve got to do something.

Notes