Your Bloody Fool

Death would be a gift sent from God right now, too bad God wasn’t a very big fan of the wicked bitch from the west – Riley Vex. If it wasn’t for the layer of foundation which had been topped off with a good amount of powder – everyone would see that the fruit – tomato and me? We were bloody twins. Right now I truly wanted to die. The ground could open and swallow me whole... That was exactly how embarrassed I was when I saw my kids wide eyes when I walked down the isle in the ridiculously short dress. I swear Ralph’s never talking to me, while Rosie... Hell, she had the most confused frown I had seen on her little face. Brian had to explain for good five minutes that no, mom, didn’t in fact forget to put her pants on and no, that wasn’t a shirt.

If it wasn’t for McKenna who had begged me to wear that stupid shirt of a dress, I would’ve ran straight for the house as soon as the pair said ‘I do’. I kid you not – sitting here at this long table where the newlyweds had gathered with their bridesmaids and groomsmen, I was daydreaming of wearing that leather piece Brian had bought me.

Somehow I had ended sitting right next to McKenna... Why on earth was I sitting right next to her was truly the million dollar question, but who was sitting right next to me? Tom bloody Ellis. This was one strange arrangement. At every wedding I had been I knew that bridesmaids were sitting on the bride’s side and groomsmen - on the groom’s side... well, clearly, not in this particular wedding.

One of the bridesmaids – Kelly – the same girl who paired me up with Tom tried explaining this whole ordeal. Turns out McKenna wanted to spice things up a bit, to play a fucking match-maker (from Hell). See... The first selection of bridesmaids had all been single ladies, but, well, since two of the bitches walked out of the union, she had no choice, but to recruit two new bitches, creating a quite odd pair – Saint, who was bloody married and a chump who seemed like the guy who never went through puberty. It was just a matter of time when Saint politely excused herself with a phrasing ‘fuck this’ and went back to the Avenged table to take her seat next to her husband.

As for me? Was I having a jolly good time? Being in the center of the attention? You bet’cha. I was having a blast. My assigned date of the night was happily flirting with a different bridesmaid and I was bored out of my head, but at least nobody had begged me to make a toast or something along the lines. I swear to God if anyone will ask me to embarrass myself even more throughout this evening I could as well take a gun and leave a hole in my skull.

I shot a glance toward the table in the very center, the same one where my ex was sitting. There was an empty seat right next to him, which I supposed had been appointed to his ‘plus one’. The same exact seat that had just been taken by Nikki.

As I was lazily swirling the champagne in my flute, McKenna turned to face me and spoke something in a hushed voice, but thanks to the band playing and mister Tom beside me hitting it up with the girl, I heard absolutely nothing of what she told me.

„Mac, I can’t hear you,” I said tapping my ear and a single moment later, she had leaned closer to whisper in my ear.

„Riles, would you do the honor and please, pretty please with a cherry on top, sing a song for Josh as a gift from me?” I leaned back, looking at her like she was crazy. Like hell am I singing here... at a wedding. If she did not know my voice wasn’t made for these jolly songs. Besides if she wanted me to dedicate a song that I’ve written for her husband, I’m afraid I hadn’t written anything that was all sunshine and butterflies and would fit this theme... about... love. Yuck. „Please, Riley, Josh’s a HUGE Lethal Injection fan.”

Is he now... I tilted my head to the side to glance over the posh looking guy. Yeah, not a single tattoo, nor a beard. I really doubt this specimen has even heard of Lethal Injection, let alone knows a single song.

„And quite frankly you’re his idol, I’d be extremely grateful if you could sing something.” Idol my ass... I’ve been here for the whole night and the dude hadn’t even said hi to me. One fan he must be...

I raised my eyebrow. I hadn’t sung in so many years, I hadn’t warmed up and she wanted for me to sing on the spot... I had to shotgun that glass of champagne before I could even think of being on stage. What on earth could I sing at a wedding? At a fucking wedding... A song that I know... Shit. My one weakness was remembering the words. Could this night get any fucking worse? No – don’t tell me, I know it can. I’ll just wait for the major disaster.

„Right now? As in... you want me to sing right now?” I puckered my eyebrows as I looked in her begging browns. She nodded excitedly. Fuck. I mean... I raised my head to the sky. When will you have fucking enough of this torment, old man?

„Okay,” I reached out to grab Tom’s whiskey glass and empty it in one, wincing right after as the burn slowly faded. I stood up, „I’m going. But if your ears will start bleeding, don’t blame me.”

„Thank you Riles, you’re the best!” She smiled like Christmas had came early this year. I hate you so much, McKenna. I really do.

The whole way to the stage I did my best not to flash someone, but at one point during my walk I realized that everyone had already established their opinions on me and if they didn’t like me, well – that was their bloody problem. If my kids were ashamed of me – go find a new mum, ‘cause this one is going to sing her bloody ass off. Why? Because this is McKenna’s day.

I called the host of the evening aside and told him the plan. It was a bloody awful plan. What was the plan? I was going to sing Wicked Games. That was the single fucking song I knew by heart and I didn’t give a single flying fuck that it may not be the best wedding material. Don’t fucking care. She wanted to hear me sing? This is the best I could come up that was half decent.

The host of the night gave me the microphone and as soon as I stepped on the stage, the spotlight fell over me, blinding me for a good second. The band kept silently playing in the background as all the eyes fixed on me. I saw my daughter shaking her head, fearing of what I might do now. Honey, you’re about to see what your mum can do. Take it or leave it. I brought the microphone to my lips, as a small smirk crept on my lips.

„You all must be thinking what on earth is the grandma in the skimpy dress doing on the stage. Is she drunk? She must be drunk. Well. Not quite the case, I’m at least five strong Long-Island’s away from doing this out of my free will.” I said as I rested my hand on the mic stand, „If it was up to me, I’d be sitting in the furthest corner, trying to figure how to at least make this dress appear longer.” I smiled, before my eyes traveled all the way to McKenna. „No. I’m here because McKenna loves Josh way beyond my understanding and she decided it’s a good enough idea to make me sing... for Josh.” I took a breath as I wet my lips, feeling my shaky knees and my heart going in a full blown panic attack. And then I remembered I knew another song... The one I hated with all my heart and soul. Rosie’s favorite – Zeppelin’s Whole Lotta Love. I turned to face the band, „Change of plans guys, you know Zeppelin’s Whole Lotta Love?” All of them held out a thumbs up. „Okay, let’s do that.” I returned to the mic, „So maybe this won’t be the typical wedding song like Presley’s I Can’t Help Falling In Love With You, but hey, I’m not the love song type of person.”

„You need coolin’... Baby, I’m not foolin’...” When I sang out the first line I noticed Brian raising his phone in the air as the first wave of cheers came. I guess this was a rock’n’roll wedding after all, so Led Zeppelin wasn’t that bad of a choice. A good part of those two hundred plus drunkards got to their feet and moved to the front of the stage only to start dancing to the rhythm of the song. „Way down inside honey, you need it... I'm gonna give you my love, I’m gonna give you my love...” Not gonna lie – I was having one heck of a time, but this was it. I sing this and I’m out... never to sing at weddings.

„Wanna whole lotta love... Wanna whole lotta... love.” I whispered the last word in the microphone with a massive smirk mirroring on my lips, „Thank you and goodnight!”

As soon as I stepped off the stage, I was met with Tom’s surprised grin. An odd combination if you ask me. Up until then I didn’t know a grin could be surprised, but hey, look at him go.

„Where did you leave your quarry?” I snickered as he held out his hand to help me down the steps. „Don’t tell me she actually believed you’re the devil.”

„Well of course not,” He started as soon as I had taken his hand, „I never mentioned that I’m the devil.”

„Yeah, ‘cause you’re way worse.” I said, slightly shaking my head. I had stopped mere inches from him, and can I say... That guy had some serious charisma. I mean, he even smelled like sex and bad decisions.

„Why? Just because I entertained a certain bridesmaid while you were boring yourself to death?” Did I just actually hear that? „You seemed way pre-occupied for me to just barge in and disrupt your train of boredom.”

„Are. You. Serious...” I just stared up at his cheerful face. This guy is a bloody dick. „Why would they even set me up with an immature, selfish—„

„Right. Darling, I’d love to let you carry on with all the compliments, but I’m afraid you’ve got your facts wrong. You see, I was intended for Stephanie.” He smirked, before he pulled out a metallic case from the inside pocket of his jacket and soon after picked out a neatly rolled cigarette from the case.

First of all, he had cut me off... Who does that? Secondly, did he realize how dickish he actually sounded? And third of all – did he referr to himself as a piece of meat which was simply passed around? God, as charming as he was... well, that’s basically all he was. My eyebrows had shot up higher than I knew they could as I stared at him lighting up his cigarette. „Well... I guess this information helps a great deal. Yep. Now I understand.”

„You do?” He smirked as he blew out a thick cloud of smoke.

„Yep.” I popped the ‘p’, „You don’t only sound like a dick, you truly are a dick.”

„Wait... I thought we already established that...” He tilted his head to the side.

„Ughh!” I grunted. Could this man be any more unbearable?

„Enough with all the grunts and groans... and no frowning. Botox is expensive, darling. Better tell me where did you learn to sing like that?”

„Nowhere.” I replied simply as I turned around to walk... walk somewhere where he wouldn’t get on my very last nerves.

„Wonderfully vague,” He chuckled, „Okay, I see you’re quite mad right now. If you get lonely, I’ll be there with the rest of the bridesmaids!” Tom called after me on which I just rolled my eyes.

I didn’t know how lonely I had to get to go and seek comfort in the shape of Tom Ellis. Nop. Not gonna happen.

As I stepped my foot on the make-shift wooden floor, Brian appeared out of nowhere right in front of my face. Actually... he wasn’t alone. And he didn’t magically appear. He was simply there. With Nikki. Having a heated make-out session.

Something broke inside me. A great mix of emotions overflew me.

„If you do reconsider—„ I heard the now familiar british accent coming somewhere from behind my back. Maybe this was that exact loneliness I had to feel to seek the comfort in Tom’s arms.

With a heavy sigh I turned around, „I don’t particularly like you, but... you will take me dancing.”

„Will I now...” He snickered, taking a last couple of drags from his cigarette. „Why the sudden change of heart?”

„No reason.” I shrugged, watching as he threw away the cigarette bud. He truly was a pig.

„Right.” Tom frowned. „And the fact that your ex is playing tonsil hockey right behind your back with one of the bridesmaids didn't have any influence on your attitude towards me.”

„I...”

„Don’t sweat it, love.” He offered me his elbow with the most devilish smirk on his face. „Let’s raise a little Hell, shall we?”

Notes

Who's ready for a little mayhem in the next update? I know I sure am. McKenna may not be too thrilled knowing it's her wedding and all, but hey, Riley's having a midlife crisis kinda situation.

Any kind of feedback would be greatly appreciated!