Who Are You?
Scream
Matt's POV
.:.:.
I had no idea what was going on with Elise and I was almost afraid to know the answer. That girl can run, let me tell you. Our date this morning went well or at least I thought so. I didn’t imagine going in for an innocent kiss would end up with Elise freezing on the spot and bolting away from me. I tried texting and calling Elise, and when that didn’t pan out, I then went on to blowing up Leana’s phone to find out what was up. Oddly enough, Lee had no idea either. Last I heard Elise had been locked up in her room for hours now. If Lee couldn’t get her to open up, none of us had a chance of succeeding. My last hope was Brian. A nerve seemed to flicker at the thought but that must have been from my zealous ego. The man was my best friend; he only wanted the best for me.
Here goes nothing. I thought as I sent a message to Brian.
I decided to leave Elise alone for the day and try again tomorrow morning. Hopefully I could focus on something, anything, other than her. I’ve no idea why but I hung onto the sunflowers I had given her in the desert this morning. The once yellow tips of the petals were curling slightly, giving off their age but the hue was still vibrant. Some part of me wanted to throw them away, while a second part wanted to give them back. A third part wanted to hold onto them and enjoy what little brightness they had left to give. My open notebook seemed to be the perfect solution of being a distraction but I knew any lyrics I could produce wouldn’t be me. Instead, perhaps Zacky would want to hang out and discuss his own issues with women. So, I did just that.
.:.:.
“Morning, Shads.” Zacky grunted as he stepped over my tired body.
It wasn’t a greeting so much as it being his way of saying that it was morning and he must not have expected me to be sleeping on the floor of his room. I wasn’t drunk, or hungover from being drunk, but I didn’t want to admit why I felt so shitty or why I had passed out by his bed.
Zacky returned from the bathroom, toothbrush hanging from his mouth, “I wouldn’t let anyone know you were here if I was you. Especially since Gena thinks I’m at my parent’s house for the weekend.”
“My lips are sealed. Have you thought anymore on what we talked about last night?” I asked while searching the floor and my pockets for my phone.
“Uhh, which part?” He questioned while grabbing my phone off his desk and flinging it to me.
I barely caught the device, “About her heavier drug use. We all love her but we love you too much more to see you being treated like shit.” I was referring back to the day we had been practicing at Brian’s when she snapped. Zack only shrugged his shoulder before walking away.
I shook my head and turned my phone on. An irritated frown glazed over my face when the only word received from Elise was this;
Elle: I’m sorry, Matt. I think I need some time to think. I understand if my drama pushes you away.
Still, as annoyed as I was, I was still concerned.
Are you ok? I want to give you space but I also want to be there and help with whatever is going on.
I read over her words a few times and debated whether or not I should keep trying. I came to my senses and let things be before going on to chat with Brian for a few minutes. Then Jimmy. Then Lee. I honestly didn’t want to bother anyone else so I figured I’d return home and sort out my problems the only way I knew how; alcohol.
.:.:.
9:56
It was getting late but I knew I had to try reaching Elise again. I quickly typed up a text and hit send with no hesitation.
Please, just talk to me. I want to know what’s happening and I want to make sure you’re alright.
I took another swig from my bottle of Jack. I was growing impatient.
Hello?
That was the last of my communication for the night. If she wanted to act this way, then so be it. I took the last drink from my bottle and sat glaring at the label. As if a switch was flipped, I sent the empty container flying at the wall. It didn’t shatter and only managed to leave a small dent in the drywall. For some reason, I was pissed from being denied the satisfaction of destruction.
"The worst kind of destruction is you."
I hung my head in my hands as Val’s words snuck into my head. She was right. I was the master of self-defeat. What I wouldn’t give to be able to speak with her but I didn’t want to push what little luck I had.
.:.:.
3:09
“Wake up, fucking alcoholic.”
A heavy foot kicked into my shoulder fully bringing me awake.
“The fuck, man?” I asked in a groggy state, my hand rubbing my now sore shoulder. I sat up off the hard floor and squeezed my eyes shut before opening them again, hoping I could focus better. “What?” I yawned at the two men standing over of me.
“This is how you solve your problems?” Jimmy crossed his arms, his eyes narrowing ever so slightly.
I scoffed, “It works so why not?”
“Seriously, what’s up with you lately?” Johnny flopped down on my bed. “It’s bad enough Vengeance and his chick have been going at it and now you?”
My mood surprisingly wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be. Aside from the rude awakening from my shoulder being punted like a football, I was happy to have my friends here. If anybody could talk me through this and send me off with good advice it was Johnny and Jimmy. They had found their soulmates and were living the fairy tale. It was inspiring and a little nauseating at times.
“I think I broke my foot.” Jimmy whined while making himself comfortable on my desk chair. I rolled my eyes and I knew Johnny had done the same.
“You could have woken me up in a nicer fashion.” I chuckled. Somehow, I had managed to rise to my feet with no issues.
Now was Jimmy’s turn to roll his eyes, “If our constant phone calls, knocking on your door, or yelling at you to wake up didn’t work, what else should we have tried?”
“I dunno.” My tone must have told them I didn’t care. They were right; I had ten missed calls from Jimmy, four from Johnny, one from Zacky, and I didn’t even want to count how many calls and messages I had ignored from Brian. I opened my phone, my messages between Elise and I being the first thing to flood the scream.
"Oh, fuck…" my brain began to panic the more I reread the text from early this morning. My text.
I’ll leve you alone now.didn’t mean to bug yu and don’t worry,you won’t be seeing me around.
I didn’t mean that. I couldn’t have meant it. I was angry and drunk, there’s no way Elise could have taken that seriously.
“Fuck, I’m so stupid.” I mumbled to myself never once breaking eye contact from the screen. I wasn’t looking but I knew the guys were eyeing me. I finally locked eyes with Jimmy, “I told her I’d leave her alone and that she wouldn’t be seeing me anymore. What the fuck is wrong with me!” I wanted to smash my phone between my fingers until it was snatched away.
“Damage control!” Jimmy piped in as he snatched the phone away from Johnny. “You two are fucking weirdos. Lee told me she had a long talk with Elise earlier this afternoon. I guess they talked about some deep shit. Hell, Lee even got Leese to go out to the salon today. In fact, she’s there right now.”
“Why are you just now telling me this?!” I was shocked and rushing to put on my shoes. I instantly stopped all movements; there’s not a chance she would want to see me right now so why the fuck was I rushing to go out? She obviously needed space, which is exactly what she told me. Still, it hurt a bit knowing someone else was able to make things better for her.
“Uh, you just got a text…” Jimmy’s voice had softened as he handed me my phone. I wasted no time as my eyes raced over the words;
Elle: Can we meet for dinner tonight? I get it if you don’t want to see me but I owe you an apology and an explanation.
I was so happy I could scream.
.:.:.
I had no idea what was going on with Elise and I was almost afraid to know the answer. That girl can run, let me tell you. Our date this morning went well or at least I thought so. I didn’t imagine going in for an innocent kiss would end up with Elise freezing on the spot and bolting away from me. I tried texting and calling Elise, and when that didn’t pan out, I then went on to blowing up Leana’s phone to find out what was up. Oddly enough, Lee had no idea either. Last I heard Elise had been locked up in her room for hours now. If Lee couldn’t get her to open up, none of us had a chance of succeeding. My last hope was Brian. A nerve seemed to flicker at the thought but that must have been from my zealous ego. The man was my best friend; he only wanted the best for me.
Here goes nothing. I thought as I sent a message to Brian.
I decided to leave Elise alone for the day and try again tomorrow morning. Hopefully I could focus on something, anything, other than her. I’ve no idea why but I hung onto the sunflowers I had given her in the desert this morning. The once yellow tips of the petals were curling slightly, giving off their age but the hue was still vibrant. Some part of me wanted to throw them away, while a second part wanted to give them back. A third part wanted to hold onto them and enjoy what little brightness they had left to give. My open notebook seemed to be the perfect solution of being a distraction but I knew any lyrics I could produce wouldn’t be me. Instead, perhaps Zacky would want to hang out and discuss his own issues with women. So, I did just that.
.:.:.
“Morning, Shads.” Zacky grunted as he stepped over my tired body.
It wasn’t a greeting so much as it being his way of saying that it was morning and he must not have expected me to be sleeping on the floor of his room. I wasn’t drunk, or hungover from being drunk, but I didn’t want to admit why I felt so shitty or why I had passed out by his bed.
Zacky returned from the bathroom, toothbrush hanging from his mouth, “I wouldn’t let anyone know you were here if I was you. Especially since Gena thinks I’m at my parent’s house for the weekend.”
“My lips are sealed. Have you thought anymore on what we talked about last night?” I asked while searching the floor and my pockets for my phone.
“Uhh, which part?” He questioned while grabbing my phone off his desk and flinging it to me.
I barely caught the device, “About her heavier drug use. We all love her but we love you too much more to see you being treated like shit.” I was referring back to the day we had been practicing at Brian’s when she snapped. Zack only shrugged his shoulder before walking away.
I shook my head and turned my phone on. An irritated frown glazed over my face when the only word received from Elise was this;
Elle: I’m sorry, Matt. I think I need some time to think. I understand if my drama pushes you away.
Still, as annoyed as I was, I was still concerned.
Are you ok? I want to give you space but I also want to be there and help with whatever is going on.
I read over her words a few times and debated whether or not I should keep trying. I came to my senses and let things be before going on to chat with Brian for a few minutes. Then Jimmy. Then Lee. I honestly didn’t want to bother anyone else so I figured I’d return home and sort out my problems the only way I knew how; alcohol.
.:.:.
9:56
It was getting late but I knew I had to try reaching Elise again. I quickly typed up a text and hit send with no hesitation.
Please, just talk to me. I want to know what’s happening and I want to make sure you’re alright.
I took another swig from my bottle of Jack. I was growing impatient.
Hello?
That was the last of my communication for the night. If she wanted to act this way, then so be it. I took the last drink from my bottle and sat glaring at the label. As if a switch was flipped, I sent the empty container flying at the wall. It didn’t shatter and only managed to leave a small dent in the drywall. For some reason, I was pissed from being denied the satisfaction of destruction.
"The worst kind of destruction is you."
I hung my head in my hands as Val’s words snuck into my head. She was right. I was the master of self-defeat. What I wouldn’t give to be able to speak with her but I didn’t want to push what little luck I had.
.:.:.
3:09
“Wake up, fucking alcoholic.”
A heavy foot kicked into my shoulder fully bringing me awake.
“The fuck, man?” I asked in a groggy state, my hand rubbing my now sore shoulder. I sat up off the hard floor and squeezed my eyes shut before opening them again, hoping I could focus better. “What?” I yawned at the two men standing over of me.
“This is how you solve your problems?” Jimmy crossed his arms, his eyes narrowing ever so slightly.
I scoffed, “It works so why not?”
“Seriously, what’s up with you lately?” Johnny flopped down on my bed. “It’s bad enough Vengeance and his chick have been going at it and now you?”
My mood surprisingly wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be. Aside from the rude awakening from my shoulder being punted like a football, I was happy to have my friends here. If anybody could talk me through this and send me off with good advice it was Johnny and Jimmy. They had found their soulmates and were living the fairy tale. It was inspiring and a little nauseating at times.
“I think I broke my foot.” Jimmy whined while making himself comfortable on my desk chair. I rolled my eyes and I knew Johnny had done the same.
“You could have woken me up in a nicer fashion.” I chuckled. Somehow, I had managed to rise to my feet with no issues.
Now was Jimmy’s turn to roll his eyes, “If our constant phone calls, knocking on your door, or yelling at you to wake up didn’t work, what else should we have tried?”
“I dunno.” My tone must have told them I didn’t care. They were right; I had ten missed calls from Jimmy, four from Johnny, one from Zacky, and I didn’t even want to count how many calls and messages I had ignored from Brian. I opened my phone, my messages between Elise and I being the first thing to flood the scream.
"Oh, fuck…" my brain began to panic the more I reread the text from early this morning. My text.
I’ll leve you alone now.didn’t mean to bug yu and don’t worry,you won’t be seeing me around.
I didn’t mean that. I couldn’t have meant it. I was angry and drunk, there’s no way Elise could have taken that seriously.
“Fuck, I’m so stupid.” I mumbled to myself never once breaking eye contact from the screen. I wasn’t looking but I knew the guys were eyeing me. I finally locked eyes with Jimmy, “I told her I’d leave her alone and that she wouldn’t be seeing me anymore. What the fuck is wrong with me!” I wanted to smash my phone between my fingers until it was snatched away.
“Damage control!” Jimmy piped in as he snatched the phone away from Johnny. “You two are fucking weirdos. Lee told me she had a long talk with Elise earlier this afternoon. I guess they talked about some deep shit. Hell, Lee even got Leese to go out to the salon today. In fact, she’s there right now.”
“Why are you just now telling me this?!” I was shocked and rushing to put on my shoes. I instantly stopped all movements; there’s not a chance she would want to see me right now so why the fuck was I rushing to go out? She obviously needed space, which is exactly what she told me. Still, it hurt a bit knowing someone else was able to make things better for her.
“Uh, you just got a text…” Jimmy’s voice had softened as he handed me my phone. I wasted no time as my eyes raced over the words;
Elle: Can we meet for dinner tonight? I get it if you don’t want to see me but I owe you an apology and an explanation.
I was so happy I could scream.
Notes
Next chapter out soon! Comments are always appreciated!
Well damn! ;) glad you’re back!
6/2/19