When the World Crashes Down, Will You Still Be There?

Being the baby of the group had a lot of perks but Hailey never took advantage of them. Though they weren’t obligated to do it, the girls always took care of her in a way that it was borderline over-protective. Hailey didn’t mind it, having grown up an only child, she loved the fact that she’d gained such a huge family in marrying Johnny. Not only did she gain four older brothers through the guys, she’d gotten four older sisters and best friends that protected her and comforted her when she needed it.

Hailey would always be grateful that the four of them had been there to keep her head above water when she was so close to drowning. Ever since she was a child, Hailey had wanted a big family, since she had no siblings of her own. Three kids had been the minimum amount that she’d wanted. Johnny had wanted a large family as well and Hailey had felt as if she’d gotten her fairytale ending.

But life doesn’t always turns out the way you want it to. For Hailey, a car crash had made sure of that. She had been six months pregnant and out with her mother. They’d been driving home after a day of shopping for her upcoming little girl. Hailey had been sitting on the passenger side when a man too busy texting on his phone ran a red light and slammed right into her side of her mother’s car. Her mother had made it out with a few scrapes but it was lucky Hailey had made it out alive.

Losing her child had been soul crushing; receiving the news that the accident had made it impossible for her to have more children made her wish she had died in the crash. Hailey had been through over a year of psychical therapy before she’d managed to heal completely. But that type of emotional pain never goes away, it just becomes a dull ache over time. It had been three years since the accident and Hailey learn to accept what life had dealt her. Having such a strong support system had kept her sane. Johnny had been a saint and the trauma had brought them closer than ever. Instead of pushing each other away they’d mourned together, making their bond stronger. The girls had never left her side and even now years later they’d make sure she was doing alright.

Hailey had learned to cope with her loss, but she’d still decided to seek professional help. Being a psychologist herself, Abrianna had encouraged Hailey explaining that it would do her good to speak to someone that wasn’t her friends or family. So she did. Hailey had been seeing her psychologist for almost two years and through that she had met her new best friend.

Lexapro.

The antidepressant had been working for her tremendously and helped her cope throughout the day. The tiny white pills were good at keeping her anxiety at bay and kept her moods in high spirits. Sometimes she felt as if it was the only thing that was keeping her sane. Hailey at first had felt ashamed for taking them, feeling bad for not being able to handle her problems by herself. Her friends being the supportive girls they were reassured her that she had nothing to be ashamed of. No matter what her mental health was important. Although she wasn’t as comfortable talking about it with her friends and her husband, Hailey relied heavily on La’Nay since she’d been diagnosed with depression herself. Her heavily tattooed friend had suffered from it since she was a teenager and took medication for it as well. It was nice to be able to have someone in her life that could truly understand what she was going through.

Hailey was aware that it was easy to get addicted to pills such as this and she didn’t have a problem. Sure sometimes she would take two at a time instead of one, but she needed it. There had been a few times she forgot to take them and would take an extra pill to make up for the day she missed. So maybe Hailey sometimes craved more than the amount she was supposed to take. That didn’t mean she was addicted to her medication. She could take care of herself just fine, there was nothing to worry about. Hailey had a handle on it.

Well at least that’s what she told herself.

“Thank you, so much for your order” Hailey beamed at the mother in front of her on the other side of the counter, as she handed the woman her receipt. “I’ll make sure to bake everything fresh first thing in the morning and bring everything to the party’s location two hours early.”

“Thank you so much for agreeing to cater the deserts for my daughter’s fifth birthday party, she’s going to love the cupcakes and the three-layered cake you’ve come up with” the woman said in gratitude.

The pair shook hands and Hailey couldn’t help but to smile, even if it was a bit bittersweet. Seeing how happy this woman was for her daughter’s birthday party, she couldn’t help but to think about the fact that she’d never get to throw one for her own daughter.

“I’m more than excited to create this order, I can only imagine how cute this Disney princess themed party is going to be.”

The pair continued to talk for a bit and with a final thank you the woman left. Hailey let out a sigh as she gazed around her bakery and cafe. Sweet Dreams had been her place for seven years and Hailey was still proud of herself for making her dream of owning her own bakery a reality. She’d had some so much support from her family and friends that it didn’t take long for it to take off.

Hailey glanced around her place and grinned at the busy atmosphere of it all. Sweet Dreams wasn’t as crowded as it usually was, but that was because she’d just finalized her final catering order before the group was to go on vacation in four days. Her employees were in high spirits as they served customers their orders. It was probably because they were about to get two weeks paid vacation, since Hailey was closing it down starting tomorrow while in Tahiti.

She sighed in content and admired her bakery and cafe. The walls were painted violet and had intricate paintings of various desserts courtesy of La’Nay, while the furniture and countertops were polished black. Hailey’s place was the right amount of cute and edgy and she loved it dearly.

When the bell on top of the front door chimed signaling that someone new was entering Hailey let out a wide smile and couldn’t help but to laugh when La’Nay walked through the door, with a pastel pink backpack and hair to match.

“Hey Nay! What are you doing here? I was just thinking about you” Hailey beamed, rushing around the counter to hug her friend. “Loving the new hairdo by the way, wow seriously it looks amazing” Hailey gushed as she admired La’Nay’s pastel-pink box braids.

“Thank you, lovely” her friend spoke as she hugged the slightly taller woman tightly. “Abrianna and I got our hair done yesterday, she got box-braids too but her’s are blue-black. I’m not gonna give you a full lesson in black hair but basically this is gonna save Abri and I from having to do our hair on this trip” La’Nay explained in amusement at the slight confusion on her friend’s face. “Anyway, I’m here because, I can’t find any inspiration at home, this place always has a homey and welcoming vibe. So I figured why not attempt to get some work done and harass my bestie while I’m at it” she shrugged and Hailey hit her arm playfully.

“Well make yourself comfortable, if you want anything its on the house. And don’t fight me” Hailey ordered when La’Nay started to protest not paying. “You my friend are one of the main reasons this place is so great. I mean you painted all the art in this place and you did it for free. That alone earns you anything in here free for life, also you’re my best friend so that gives you automatic free stuff. And if that doesn’t satisfy you, everything is free because you babysat the terror twins while Johnny and I had date night.”

La’Nay huffed but let it go, she’d pay for her own food and drinks in another way. “For the record I highly enjoy babysitting Kenneth and Kennedy. I love my nephews to pieces. Also I know how badly you needed that date night, you were having a rough week.” Hailey couldn’t help the smile of affection that graced her lips at how much La’Nay genuinely cared about her. Honestly their entire group would be lost without her, she was the glue that kept them all together. Hell she was the reason the girls had met their husbands in the first place. Hailey had been having one of those weeks where everything seemed a bit too much despite her medication. La’Nay had barely left her side the entire week and when she wasn’t there she was texting Hailey to make sure she was alright. Honestly the woman was a blessing.

“When are you and Jason gonna have your own little monsters running around huh?” Hailey asked brushing off her friend’s previous comment. La’Nay frowned a bit at the thought of children and started twirling a pink braid around her finger. She’d wanted children for a while but Jason always brushed off the topic or avoided it. There was a point in time when they’d both wanted them, but there was never a good time to try. Considering Jason had barely touched her in months, she knew kids weren’t happening anytime soon.

“I don’t know” La’Nay shrugged “It just doesn’t seem like the right time yet. But I’m sure it will be soon.”

Hailey could sense that the topic was bothering her friend and she was kicking herself mentally for bringing it up. “Well, let me let you get on with your work. Don't want you to lose your inspiration cause I’m bothering you. ”

“Oh hush, you are the farthest thing from a bother, but I will cop that window seat before someone else steals it.” La’Nay joked before kissing Hailey’s cheek and heading towards the vacant spot. She watched her friend set up her laptop and her drawing pad. It amazed Hailey that no matter what La’Nay tried to keep herself in high spirits even when it was obviously hard for her. Everyone could tell that something was wrong but she kept it to herself, pushing her issues on the back burner to make sure her friends were okay.

Hailey blamed Jason for her friend's recent change in demeanor. He was an asshole and that was putting it lightly. How the guys were friends with him always baffled her, how La’Nay married him was a whole other mystery to her. He was so rude to her and La’Nay would always defend him, despite being upset about whatever it was he said. Her husband was manipulative and she just couldn't see it but the girls could.

Her thoughts had her itching for one of her pills even though she'd taken one about an hour ago. Hailey made sure everything was all good without her before she headed to her office in the back. She sat down at her desk and sighed heavily before reaching into the bottom drawer for her purse. Finding the familiar orange bottle, she opened the cap and poured one of the little white pills into her palm. Hailey stared at it debating on whether or not she should take it for what felt like eternity. She knew that she shouldn't but her body was starting to feel as if their was a ten ton weight dragging her down. She was starting to shake before she decided ‘fuck it’ and dry swallowed it.

Hailey leaned back against her chair with her head tilted towards the ceiling. She felt guilty for what she'd just done, Hailey knew if she continued on like this that she'd spiral out of control. But it didn't matter cause she had a handle on it. There was nothing wrong, Hailey was fine.

*****

Jamie Sullivan was a headstrong lawyer whose goal was to be as successful as she could be. She'd lost sleep and friends on her way to becoming a well respected lawyer but it had all been worth it. Jamie had always had her husband Jimmy, La’Nay and the rest of their friends to keep her centered and remind her that her career wasn't always everything. They'd been there every step of the way, with Jimmy being her number one cheerleader ever since she was accepted into Berkeley School of Law.

She tended to be a workaholic, spending longer hours at her firm than she did at home. Jamie would sometimes come home after midnight some nights having spent her entire day in the office. There had been countless times where she’d spent more time taking work calls at home then interacting with her husband and their daughter. Or leaving midway through to head to the office to work on something that could have been pushed off until later.

Jimmy was truly proud of his wife, and all that she’d accomplished. And how seeing how dedicated she was to her job was admirable. He was happy that all of Jamie’s hard work was finally paying off. His wife just didn’t see that their marriage was slowly starting to deteriorate because of it. She was barely ever home and Jimmy had confessed that he sometimes felt like a single father. That if she’d kept this up their four year old Melissa wouldn’t even know her. But all of his concerns had went in one ear and right out the other. Jamie just wasn’t seeing what her husband did because she was never home. Her friends had warned her that If she wasn’t careful she was going to lose her family.

Jamie was determined to get to the top And if she had to do somethings she wasn’t proud of to get there then oh well. When she’d first started out that was her philosophy but she’d never done anything shameful To make it in the world of law.

Until now that is.

The reality that Jamie’s entire world was about to crumble underneath her smashed into her like a train. As she stared down at the pregnancy test in her hands in disbelief, Jamie knew that she was about to lose her family in a flash. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she sat on the edge of the bathtub. The realization that this child might not be Jimmy’s sent a wave Of disgust through her entire system. She was ashamed of herself and she’d tried to erase the memory of how she got herself into this situation.

It was just supposed to be a simple dinner party with business associates for her firm out in San Diego. Usually her husband would come with her to the stuffy type of events so she could keep her sanity around such stuck up people. That night Avenged Sevenfold was having a charity concert which meant Jimmy couldn’t come. These types of parties weren’t children friendly so Melissa went along with the band and the rest of the girls to watch the band’s show.

Unfortunately this left Jamie basically following her boss around the event like a lost puppy. Her boss Peter Edwards Was one of the top ten lawyers in California with an ego almost the same size to match. Despite the fact that he was attractive and considered one of the top bachelors in the country; he was a complete asshole. He carried himself as if he was better than everyone else and made sure people felt as if they weren’t worth anything. He would always try to make a pass at her at work and Jamie ignored it. There were so many times that she wanted to file for sexual harassment but the last woman that had was basically blacklisted after he was cleared. Jamie didn’t want to risk her career so she put up with it. Her boss had never actually touched her, but would make crude comments from time to time.

Jamie honestly loathed him with a passion and she had no memory of actually sleeping with him. She’d been particularly annoyed with the entirety of the gathering and may have had one glass of champagne too many. Peter had drove them to the event in one of the company cars. She didn’t remember him taking them to a nearby hotel, Jamie could barely recall any of the night, she remembered Peter discussing a possible promotion but that was about it. All she knew was that she’d woken up naked in bed next to her boss.

She’d been so distraught and disgusted with herself that she’d fled while her boss was sleeping and took an uber all the way back home. Jamie had returned to an empty house and a note from Jimmy that he’d taken Melissa to visit his parents. Jamie had been grateful he hadn’t been home to see the state she was in. She’d had herself a good cry, and promptly blocked the entire event from her mind. And when she returned back to work the following Monday she ignored the nauseousness that ran through her when her boss had told her she’d been promoted.

Jamie had kept it all to herself and didn’t tell a soul about what had happened. Nobody even knew she’d gotten promoted and now that she finally had she was thinking of just up and quitting the firm. Peter seemed to think that night had been some type of invitation to flirt with her more and just seeing him everyday made her feel disgusting.

When she’d finally worked up the nerve to confront her boss about the fact that he took advantage of her while she was intoxicated he had laughed in her face and pulled out his phone. Peter had asked for her consent while she was drunk and though to her it was clearly bullshit, he’d goaded her into saying yes knowing she wasn't comprehending the situation. It was straight up blackmail. Jamie didn’t know what to do, Peter was such a high profile lawyer that even if she’d pressed charges for rape, nobody would believe her. That was the reality of the world she lived in and as a lawyer it was always one of the things that made her sick to her stomach. Now that this was happening to her, she didn’t know how else to handle it but to block it from her mind. But now that Jamie was pregnant she couldn’t do that anymore.

Although Jamie knew she hadn’t cheated on her husband, she still felt as if she had. Being near Jimmy made her feel like she wasn’t even worthy to be in his presence. He was such a good man and she knew that he’d understand. Hell he’d end up going to jail for murder. Jimmy would be on her side and she knew that, but how was Jamie supposed to explain something like this to him?

Jamie got up from the edge of the tub and started to pace around the fairly large bathroom. She ended up in front of the sink, gripping the porcelain edge tight enough to turn her knuckled sheet white. Jamie stared down and watched through blurry vision as her tears dripped into the sink. She had to think of a way to get rid of this before anybody found out. Before she could even think of other options to get out of the situation; arms snaked around her waist unexpectedly. Jamie yelped from shock and dropped the pregnancy test into the sink. Her head shot up to glance in the mirror above the sink and she was met with the crystal blue eyes of her husband.

Her heart sunk, he wasn’t supposed to be home for another three hours. She’d been too into her thoughts to hear him come into their bedroom and she’d left the bathroom door wide open. There was no way that’d Jamie would be able to get rid of the test and judging by the growing grin on Jimmy’s face; she knew he’d seen it and the result.

“We’re gonna have another baby!” Jimmy exclaimed the excitement in his bright blue eyes and Jamie just wanted to die. Her husband’s eyes were shining so brightly, how was she supposed to kill that light by telling him the truth? Confessing would bring on a snowball effect that she honestly didn’t think she could handle.

So Jamie simply put on a brave face and smiled. “Surprise!” She whispered as she let Jimmy embrace her in a tight hug. Jamie felt the broken pieces of her heart shatter twelve times over as her husband went on and on about how happy he was when all she wanted to do was crawl in a whole and never come out.

There were too many thoughts running through her head and it was all too overwhelming. Jamie felt as if her head was going to explode and all she wanted to do was turn her brain off. The couple stood in the middle of their bathroom in relative silence. Jamie buried her face into her husband’s shoulder breathing in the comforting scent of his cologne. She was going to cherish the few moments where she felt safe and protected from the world and her problems in Jimmy’s arms.

*****

Being the only single person in his group of married friends was difficult for Matt, although he’d never admit it. Watching his best friends build their relationships from the ground up to the strong foundations they were now made him envious. Don’t get him wrong, he was beyond happy for his friends and how they’d managed to find four women that completed them and made them better men. But he couldn’t help but to be bitter knowing that could have been him as well.

The fear of possibly ruining something so great stopped him from having something greater; That came in the form of La'Nay. She had been Matt's best friend since they were kids. All the way from the other side of the country, she'd been the new girl from Boston. She'd been sitting all alone in the cafeteria when a group of jerks decided to pick on her. She'd been quiet and kept her head down trying to ignore them.

Matt doesn't fully remember what had exactly happened, all he remembers was watching and wanting to stick up for her. It was only when one of the pudgy assholes swiped her lunch tray off the table and started shouting racial slurs at her was when Matt leaped into action. He'd punched the kid straight in the face so hard he ended up breaking his nose. Matt had threatened them all, stating that if they even looked in La’Nay’s general direction he'd kick their asses. Although he’d only been nine years old, kids were still intimidated by him. The threat had worked and they fled. Matt had made sure she was okay, wiped her tears from her cheeks and made her sit with his friends. He'd been her protector ever since.

In time once she'd started to trust him and the rest of the guys, he'd learned so much about her and understood why she was so shy and barely spoke. At the time she'd just lost her mother to cancer at the age of eight and her father had passed away before she was born. With no immediate family to take her in, La’Nay had ended up being shipped to the other side of the country to live with one of her mother’s old friends from college. In time it was obvious the woman had only taken La’Nay in for the foster care money. She really had nobody else in the world to care for her but her friends.

It was almost as if he’d made it his mission to take care of her. As they got older, she’d spent more time at Matt’s house than her own. In time his family became her’s; his parents adored her and treated her as if she was their own daughter. For so long Matt had convinced himself that La’Nay was like his little sister that when he figured out it was love it was almost if he’d been punched in the gut.

It was as if he’d started seeing her in and entirely different light. Everything she did or said brought a fluttering feeling to his chest. Just being around her made Matt happy and that terrified him. For so long he’d played the role of big brother, he was terrified that if he made a move and things went wrong, she wouldn’t be in his life anymore. The thought alone left a sick feeling in his stomach. He couldn’t image her not being in his life. So he kept his feelings to himself and never made a move.

Then Jason came along and even when Matt had still had a chance he blew it. Jason had always been friends with Matt and the rest of the guys but he hung with a different circle. Everybody at school acknowledged that La’Nay was beautiful but everyone was too afraid to make a move on her because of Matt. She’d always been know as ‘Matt’s girl’ which meant everybody was afraid to make a move on her. Until Jason.

Matt still remembers the way she’d paced around his room completely nervous and freaking out about her upcoming date with Jason. It was going to be her first date ever and watching her worry just made Matt burn with jealousy. He’d wish it was him in Jason’s place but he was too afraid to take that chance. Matt had secretly wished that the date would go horribly wrong. Much to his displeasure it went well and then one turned into two, then next thing Matt knew they were dating.

La'Nay started spending more time with Jason than Matt and it burned him too the core. He felt like he was losing her and a piece of himself was missing. She must have felt the distance as well and that led them to the day that could have changed everything. The pair had decided to skip school and snuck back into Matt’s house once everyone had left. The two were pretty much cuddled up on his bed, La’Nay’s head rested on his chest, while Matt traced circles on her hip bone. The television had been on but neither were paying attention to it. Instead they laid in silence, there was a thick tension between them that neither knew how to address. When Matt had finally worked up the nerve to talk; he'd asked the question he'd been aching to know.

“So you and Jason are a thing now huh?”

La’Nay had simply shrugged “I guess, it all just happened so fast. We’re not really official yet. I'm sorry I never talked to you about it. I'm also sorry that I haven't been around as much.” she spoke with her face still buried in his shirt.

“It's alright. I get it, you're in your first relationship, you wanna spend as much time with your boyfriend as you can.” Matt prayed he didn't sound bitter as he spoke, she didn't need that from him.

“But that doesn't mean that my friends aren't important. I miss you all. I miss you, Matt.” The pure affection in her voice caused Matt to grin cheekily, he was still her favorite person and her tone proved it.

“I missed you too” he stated pulling her close. “So how are things with you and Jason?” he forced himself to ask. He wanted a feel of whether or not it could possibly get serious.

“To be perfectly honest, it's okay. I feel like I don't like him as much as I'd want to. I keep holding myself back.” she confessed.

“Why?”

La'Nay looked nervous, and she bit her lip and avoided his eyes like she didn't want to tell him. “I-I actually like someone else more and that's holding me back from fully allowing myself to be with Jason.”

“Who?” Matt was trying to rack his brain to figure out who his best friend could possibly like. She told him everything so hearing she had a crush was surprising.

La'Nay swallowed thickly and glanced down to avoid his eyes. She was quiet for a long moment before she spoke again “You.” She whispered, fidgeting with her fingers.

“W-what?” He stuttered in disbelief. He sat up to get a proper look at her. La'Nay sat up as well and rested against his wall as if she was trying to make herself smaller. She looked him straight in the eyes as she spoke again with confidence.

“You, Matt. I love you, I have for a long time. And I know you don't feel the same, I know you only see me as someone you need to protect but I-”

La'Nay didn't get to finish whatever it was so was going to say because Matt had reached forward and cupped her face in his palms and planted his lips firmly on her. She'd let out a squeak of surprise but it only took a moment before she melted into his touch. Their mouths moved together passionately and they clung to each other like a lifeline. When they finally pulled apart for air the pair were panting heavily and in mild shock of what just happened.

“I love you too” Matt panted before diving back into kiss her. He didn’t give her a chance to respond to her confession, instead he lightly pushed her back down onto his mattress. They’d both been so lost in the moment, and as Matt’s hand snuck up her shirt, the pair knew they weren’t going to stop what was going to happen next.


They'd ended up sleeping together and Matt had felt honored that he was the one she gave her virginity to. He remembers that day as if it had happened yesterday instead of almost fifteen years ago. They had stayed cuddled up afterwards just tracing over each other's skin until reality had finally set in.

It had hit La'Nay that she had cheated on Jason and although she'd felt extremely guilty, she'd told Matt straight up that she would leave Jason to be with him. That was the day Matt had made the biggest mistake of his life. The fear of something going wrong and losing La’Nay completely took a hold of him and turned him into a coward. He had turned her down and said that they should just stay friends. La'Nay was obviously crushed but respected his decision and didn’t question him.

They pretended that it never happened and the awkwardness that followed only lasted for a little less than a week. With nothing no longer holding her back, La'Nay decided she would truly give Jason a chance. They’d become official and that eventually led to where they were now. Leaving Matt to realize that he’d truly fucked up and there was nothing he could do to fix it.

Not a day went by that Matt didn't regret what he'd done. He could have had everything he'd wanted if he hadn't let fear take hold. And now he was left yearning for a woman he couldn't have. A woman who had moved on from him and saw him as only friends just like he'd wanted.

Matt glanced around his empty kitchen and as he leaned against the island, he couldn’t help but to let the loneliness seep in. His house was much too big for just one person and it only became a reminder of how different it could have been. With a bottle of Jack Daniels placed next to him, he reached for it and took another swing. He hadn’t bothered to grab a glass, instead he’d been drinking it straight from the bottle. He had let his thoughts get the best of him and gotten overwhelmed.

“Matt, I’ll leave Jason tomorrow and then we can be together.”

“La’Nay, I think it be better if we just stay friends. I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”

“Oh… well um, if that’s what you think is best, then okay, I guess.”

He kept reliving the moment over and over in his mind and he growled before slamming the bottle back onto the granite surface. He grumbled curses to himself before he started to make his way towards the stairs to go up to his bedroom. He had to start packing for their trip in three days.

Notes

Sorry for the delay. College has kept me super busy and I spent all day yesterday getting my sternum tattoo finished, so I'm in slight pain as I finished this. But I was determined to have a new update up. Anyway hope you enjoy this story so far.

Thank you for reading!

Also this is what La'Nay's hair looks like if you don't know what I mean
La'Nay with pink braids