On Tour

"Another one of those nights," Karma sighed as Jason poured her a whisky and coke. "It's disgusting, really," MB added, "I wonder how come it's still exciting for him, I mean... sex is great, but that guy gets laid all the time. Shit, where's the excitement in that?"

Karma took a gulp. It had been too much for her, plain and simple. After what was easily the hottest night of her life he really had the nerve to treat her like a toy you could easily place back in the bin to take it out again when it was convenient. She didn't know if there were feelings involved, and she didn't want to know. It was easier to just pretend there were none and to not explore her mind anyway. It would only hurt her.

"Can I ask you something?" Jason chewed on his lower lip, a habit Karma really hated. "You can ask me anything," she forced a chuckle, "and then I'll decide if I answer." Jason was a good kid. Karma really liked how easy he was.

"Are you here because of what happened between the two of you?"
His question surprised her. Was she?

She'd come over to the roadies' bus countless times when the guys were busy. She just wasn't a fan of hearing them intercoursing with fans. But she couldn't deny that today was worse. That... it being Matt and not Jimmy or Brian was worse. God, I'm screwed.
"I always hated when they picked up groupes, you know that, JB," she replied evasively before taking a long sip from her drink.

"What was up with that show tonight?" Dan chimed in. Karma watched as the only man she knew was more muscular than Matt took out the milk from their portable fridge and started to drink it straight from the bottle. The man was insane. He drank almost a liter of milk everyday.

"I don't know man," she said, sounding more agitated than she wanted to, "seems like he's on his period AGAIN." The guys chuckled and Steve, their driver, laughed out loud.

"Seriously, you need to get that good chemistry back ASAP. That video shoot is tomorrow, and the day after, you're flying back to LA for the live DVD in the LBC. You're gonna need that back," Dan advised. FUCKING VIDEO SHOOT. I mean what?

"Alright guys, could someone fill me in? What's up with the video? Why did I not know until NOW? Aren't we supposed to be on the road all day tomorrow?" she asked, hoping to get a more detailed answer than Matt's this morning at breakfast ("Whatever, it's for Dear God. Isham's shooting it again. That's it. Salt please.")

"That's the point. Dear God. You and Matt in love on tour." In that second, Karma's jaw dropped. "Wait, what?"
"Don't worry, he was as displeased as you," JB said. As if that helps...

"Karma, Larry really thought this through," Matt Berry tried to convince her, "there are tons of fans who asked for something like that, how else do you want to make them believe there's nothing going on when everyone saw that photo?"

She felt defeated. Of course it was the best solution possible, and they were going to bring out a music video for Dear God anyway. But cuddling with Matt tomorrow wasn't exactly something she looked forward to.

They finally arrived at their hotel for the night. Matt threw out the girl, but he didn't even once look at Karma. She fell into bed and drifted easily into a a deep, dreamless sleep.

"Alright, now Matt, you drive, and Karma, hug him from behind. Love the shit out of him." Wayne Isham, the video director they'd worked with countless times before, was in his element. They'd shot the breaksand everything that didn't require physical action between Matt and Karma before.

Wayne might be insensitive at times, but he wasn't dumb. He'd noticed their awkward tension immediately upon arrival and hoped to loosen them up with the shots - but it didn't work. Karma was happy that, so far, they didn't have to appear in a scene together.

Hesitantly, she placed her underarm onto his shoulders as he drove. She ignored the old-familiar feeling in her chest as his unique scent filled her nose, musky, but with a trace of aftershave. Intoxicating, really.

Matt had a concentrated look on his face. "Good, now turn around, grin at her or some shit. Karma give him a peck." WAYNE FUCKING ISHAM ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR STUPID MIND?

Karma sighed silently as she goofily grinned, looking at him as he drove, still not changing his facial expression. "Now that peck," Wayne ordered.

But suddenly, Matt pushed her away. His shove was hard, but not hard enough to knock her over. "Fuck you all," he said, bringing the bus to a halt at a resting place. "I don't want to fucking do this. Can we stop?"

"Alright Matthew," Wayne said with the angriest expression, "we're not fucking stopping. Get your head outta your ass, you're not usually such a dick." He raised his voice "Guys, we're all getting off for an early lunch. And you guys," he motioned toward Karma and Matt, "are staying in here and you're gonna let go. I don't care how. You got one hour. We'll be back at 12.40."

The guys booed and flipped Matt off for ruining the shoot as they walked out of the front passenger door one after another, leaving Matt and Karma alone on the bus. They knew exactly that Matt and Karma were like fire and gasoline, and that Isham's idea was good ... if it was anybody else than Matt and Karma.

12 rolled around, and then it turned 12.15. Matt just sat there on the driver's seat, staring into what seemed to be some kind of different world. "Are you not gonna say anything?" Karma spoke quietly. It was her third attempt to get him to talk.

"Matt, we're gonna do this," she tried again, "there's no way out. It'd really be better if you could just..."
"JUST WHAT?" he exploded, jumping to his feet. It was an angry scream, but he said something nevertheless. Karma knew she broke him.
"Quit acting like the fucking prick you are!" She hissed, mainly to break down his reserve.

"Fuck you," he cursed out, another sign that he was ready to talk, even if it was just screaming and insulting her. She would get behind this, of that she was sure. "Matt, let's talk. What's up with you today?"

"Not now, not here," he rasped. She nodded. Anything to make it right now. Or... Am I... just giving in because I like hi- NO. IT CAN'T BE. Simple as that. "Tonight after the show, my hotel room," he let out. "If you're not too busy with a groupie," she blurted out. Shit. Why am I so dumb again?

"You didn't like that huh?" he said, the dirtiest grin on his face. His dimples made him look like the mischievous school boy who did stupid stuff for attention. The worst thing was that it seemed to work for him. Karma's knees weakened at the sight. She knew she didn't have to answer. Was that a good thing?

A second later, Matt pulled her onto his lap on the driver's seat determinedly and kissed her wildly. She felt the lust rip through her entire body as his tongue glid inside her mouth and explored the territory. But she knew they couldn't. And it wasn't right either. He ran his fingers through her hair before they gently stroked her back - almost too gentle considering it was Matt.

Karma didn't care. The situation with having to do that video was weird enough. Any way to make him cooperate to finally get it over with was fine with her - and of course, she enjoyed their kiss, even if she didn't want to admit it to herself. She just knew she couldn't continue this forever, being his toy when he wanted her and being the one he seemed to hate whenever he didn't. But right now, the video mattered, nothing else. Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Karma....

Matt and her just remained like this for the next minutes, her sitting on his lap, heavily making out. The rest of the video shoot went smoothly, and Karma was thankful for that.

"Guuuuuys, let's do a round of extreme truth and dare before we die of boredom!" Jimmy suggested. They were sitting in the backstage room, all ready to rock. They had over an hour until showtime, so Jimmy's suggestion sounded tempting.

"Brian! You start," Karma shouted, and their black haired lead guitarist nodded at her. He was sitting on the black couch, looking like a real rock star with his hat, chains and the expensive shoes his dad had given him for his last birthday.

"Dare of course," he replied. Jimmy immediately had the best idea. "Today, you're gonna play a solo and you're gonna play the tetris song!" They all laughed and Brian nodded, moving on to Johnny. "Dare man!"

Karma saw Matt's eyes sparkle with mischief from across the room. "You're singing the first few lines of Seize the Day." Everyone chuckled. It was widely known that Johnny hated singing. And while he was an alright singer, all the other band members were better. "On the live DVD!" Karma added with a devilish smirk.

"Fuck you guys, fine," Johnny let out. "As for my revenge, I choose Matt." Well, that starts pretty early today. I hope they don't kill each other until showtime...

"I feel pretty comfortable with truth," said Matt stated with a wide grin, mainly to piss off Johnny, who was now not getting his revenge. Karma watched the muscles under his tight shirt play as his arm jerked forward to show Johnny the middle finger. How the hell does he manage to look great flipping off Johnny?

"Alright," Brian inquired, "would you do her again?" He pointed toward Karma. Her heart seemed to stand still. Things weren't easy the way it was, without the guys suspecting anything.

"Dude, have you seen her?" Matt replied evasively. But Zacky wouldn't have it. "Dude," he said, mimicking Matt, "yes or no?" Inside, she rolled her eyes. Whatever he did, he would earn her wrath. It was either denying them - whatever they were - completely or admitting too much.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean..." she heard him say. He didn't finish his sentence. All eyes turned towards the door. In it stood a very pissed off Sarah, and all of them started wondering how long she had been standing there. From the look on her face, it didn't look like she just came.

Notes