On Tour

„He… he… fucking what?“ Brian stared at her with a horrified expression, but Karma knew he understood correctly. There was no need to repeat what had taken her all strength to say in the first place.

„I mean… that just… can’t be…“ Her best friend was just as shocked as she was. He awkwardly ran his fingers through his unstyled hair. „I.. I don’t even know why I didn’t think this could happen so far,“ he then said. „What do you mean by that?“ Karma asked.

„Well, we’ve all been concerned by those groupie activities, though… I mean, me and the Rev, we had our fair share as well. We all did actually. You know that. But what Matt’s been doing is just… insane. I mean, I get it. Sexy front man and all. But I never even considered this possible,“ he replied, and Karma nodded.

„It’s all about chances, right? Having a lot of sex means more chances of knocking someone up than just once a month,“ Karma replied. And she understood, and they sat in silence for a while. Brian smoked one cigarette after another, clearly upset and concerned.

"Are we ever gonna talk Tulsa?“ Karma finally asked. From the look on his face, Karma could tell he’d been expecting her to pose that question. "What do you want to know?“

Silence fell over them again as Karma tried to phrase a question in her mind. She reached over his lap onto the nightstand and fished a cigarette out of his box. Might as well, she thought as he lit it up without saying a word. The smoke burned her lungs as she inhaled deeply, and as paradox as it seemed, she felt like she could finally breathe again.

"Karma,“ the guitarist began, "It’s just… I was really fucking drunk, and… I mean I do think you’re hot, and I would have tried if it wasn’t for that one rule we had. I was drunk. I stopped caring about that rule. You went with it, and then if Matt didn’t stop us…“

"Do you like me, Brian?“ Karma finally brought out, and she didn’t dare look at him. She knew him too well. If she looked at him, she could read him like an open book. She needed to give him the chance to tell her a lie, maybe because she wanted to be lied to.

"I’m happy if you’re happy,“ he said. She sighed. That was not the answer she was hoping to get. "Karma, I mean it. I love Michelle, really. I might be attracted to you, but she is who I wanna grow old with. You got enough on your mind, don’t worry about old Synny’s feelings. I’ll get over that one day, ,“ he stated.

"Thanks for your honesty.“
"I wouldn’t lie to you. But K, please. That is not gonna change our friendship. I value you as a friend.“
„Alright Bri,“ she said, and they briefly hugged.

During the day, Matt made sure no-one would be able to even find him. Karma thought that it was what he did best, avoiding all his problems by avoiding people. He missed an appointment with a local newspaper, but Zack went instead and Karma thought his answers were pretty close to what Matt or she usually said.

She spent the rest of the day with Brian, strolling through the city and even visiting a very interesting museum. It wasn’t awkward between them, and she was very thankful for that. I wonder if Matt would ever do that with me, Karma thought, but decidedly shoved the thoughts away. I'm not thinking about him.

At various points of the day, she still couldn't help it. Her mind drifted back to Matt, who was probably... Well, what? I wonder what he's doing, she thought, and I really hope he's alright. Was it okay to call him a man whore? ... Alright, I was right. He deserved everything I said. How could he even...?

"Karma? Earth to Karma!" Brian's annoyed voice brought her back to reality abruptly. They were sitting in a local restaurant, waiting for Johnny and the Berrys to join them for lunch, and although she hadn't even had breakfast, the thought of eating made her want to throw up. I wonder if Matt's feeling the same way, she thought, but then remembered she didn't want him to ruin her day without even being there.

"I might have an idea for that contest against Raken and his stupid shitheads," Brian stated, and it was enough to catch her interest. "Shoot," she said. "Minor key, you sing." Karma stared at him in disbelief. "You... wanna play a Johnny Cash song in a minor key? And you want a girl to sing it?"

"Not just any song," Brian whispered excitedly, "Ring of Fire!"

Alright, we came this far. Now Brian lost his fucking mind. "Seriously," he added as he sensed her hesitation, "this is gonna be big. We know Matt can't sing Cash like Raken, but a woman singing it way different, that is what's gonna catch their attention."

"Catch whose attention?" Karma heard Johnny's voice behind her. "That contest Raken wants to get his ass beat," Brian stated as Johnny and the Berrys sat down on the table.
"What's your idea?"
"Minor," Karma sighed, "and me singing it. He lost his mind completely."

"Gates, you're a genius!" Johnny blurted out, then quickly added, "no homo!" I'm surrounded by idiots, Karma thought as she took a long sip from her iced tea.

After lunch and a long discussion about the song they were going to make, Brian, Johnny and Karma headed to the stadium where they were performing that night and Brian got his guitar, Johnny his bass. They had about 2 hours until sound check. As Jimmy was nowhere to be seen, Karma sat down on his drumset, determined to create a minimalistic beat along their music.

This is ginormous, she thought with a chuckle as she looked at all the toms and percussions the drum set featured, I'm only gonna use very little.

Gates started playing, and after the first couple of notes, Karma started to dig his idea. She played along in the way she planned, only occasionally hitting some percussions so the guitar would be the main thing.

"Sounds awesome," Johnny concluded after the first run-through, and so they did another, and another, and Karma listened to find a way for her voice to fit in between. Now was the time for her to finally sing along. She simply bent back to reach Jimmy's microphone and finally let it out. It fit her current situation surprisingly well.


"Love is a burning flame,
And it makes a fiery ring
Bound by wild desire
I fell into a ring of fire
I fell into a burning ring of fire
I went down down down
But the flames went higher
And it burns burns burns
The ring of fire, the ring of fire."


As Gates created a bluesy vibe with his guitar after the first chorus, Karma did her best to concentrate on the drums and not on what she was just singing. Since drumming went somewhat automatic for her, she only partially succeeded. Yeah, it was wild desire that got us into all this mess in the first place, and then it got me down while all that... love, that ring of fire, just grew.


"The taste of love is sweet
when hearts like ours meet." Is it really? Are those hearts made for each other?
"I fell for you like a child
Oh, but the fire went wild."

True that, she thought. It was so reckless to fall in love in the first place, but I just couldn't help it.

She opened her mouth, ready for the chorus, but suddenly all music ceased. All eyes went to where the monitoring desk stood. Even though it was very dark inside, Karma recognized the figure immediately. My ring of fire, she thought.

Matt got closer to the stage, purposefully avoiding to look at Karma. "That was good," he stated with a shaking voice, almost as if he wasn't sure he should say something.

"Why thanks," she heard herself say, and a small smile crept onto his face. "I could record you guys," he offered, motioning back to the monitoring desk. I'm just glad he's acting somewhat normal, Karma thought as she nodded. With whatever this all means, he's being pretty okay to me now.

A few takes later, they were done. In the meanwhile, Zacky and Jimmy arrived at the venue, too. They were impressed, and Jimmy acted like he was mad at Karma for using his drumset.
The sound check went smoothly, as well as the waiting time backstage. Karma and Matt kept their interactions to a minimum, but for the first time ever since their little affair started, he was polite, not hostile even though they were not on the best of terms.

The guys went on stage, and Matt used the remaining couple of seconds he had alone with Karma wisely. "Let's do good tonight, alright?" he whispered, and she nodded, happy he was determined to make a good show. "I just wanted to say I love you, Karma, I really do. Please forgive me for my past. I wish I could change it now but we both know that's impossible."

With that, he turned around and let the curtain fall behind him. Showtime.
Karma stormed on stage minutes later, and they did well. There was chemistry, a lot of it. They performed really well, and unlike mostly, Matt made some effort to touch her again, so there would be a show for the fans.

Karma's head grew cloudy with having him so close, but somehow she managed. We'll talk. Soon. When I'm ready, she thought as Matt sunk down on his knees, a pleading look on his face.

She knew he sung it just for her this time. "I will suffer for so long... to make it up to you... I'll do whatever you want me to do."

And in a way, the song was describing their situation. Him begging for another chance, her granting it to him. Over and over again.

While Matt started to scream the "coming back, coming back" part, she sighed. It would be best to finally end this up and down thing, but I can't. That ring of fire is too high.

Fuck. I love him so damn much.

Notes

Update for you lovies :) hope you'll like it. More drama ahead, I promise!