My Bloody Idiot

It has been raining for hours. I guess when it started to rain in California it never was just a slight sprinkle like it had been back in UK. Here… If it started pouring it continued pouring for at least a couple of hours.

The raindrops were bouncing off the wooden floor of the patio and landing on my bare feet as I stood there, under the small roof, having the calming smoke.

I had tried to fall asleep, but thanks to my depression kicking in – it was a no go. So I figured to carry myself downstairs for a glass of water to have something to rinse my own Xanax away until I decided it’s a good call to have a smoke. Now… when I was standing here in the cold wind, wearing only a crop top and a pair of panties, looking over the darkness in front of me, going for a smoke seemed the worst idea ever. The wind was throwing my hair around and splashing the rain in my face and smoking a rain drenched cigarette had never felt this disgusting. Back in London it even had a sort of a charm to it, but here… Not so much.

Say what you will, but rain calmed me down. The thunder was only an additional feature. I loved to see the sky light up at the presence of lightning.

The door beside me slid open and Brian appeared with a cigarette lingering between his lips, wearing only boxers and covering himself with a blanket. I guess this specimen had been smarter than lil’ old me.

“You’re still up?” He asked as he lit his cigarette, holding the blanket shut with his free hand. I wondered how he’d survive winters up in the north.

“I couldn’t fall asleep,” I said, rubbing my tattooed arms, trying to myself up.

“You should get inside, it’s freezing,” He wasn’t even using his hand as he smoked anymore. He just let the cigarette stay between his lips as he shuddered from the cold.

I shook my head, “I like the rain. It calms me down.”

“Then you should’ve put on something before you came out here… rain gazing,” he spoke, finally taking the half smoked cigarette between his fingers, “come ‘ere.” He opened the blanket for me and I quickly walked over, pressing my cold body against his hot skin, before he threw the cigarette butt away and wrapped his arms along with the blanket around me.

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” I leaned my head against his shoulder.

“I was working on a new song and then I remembered I wanted to watch this horror flick. Decided to have a smoke before the movie,” I didn’t know if it was Brian, Xanax or the rain… or maybe them all together, but I felt super calm. Almost like I was ready to fall asleep finally.

“ooo, I like horror movies. What’s it about?” I slightly raised my head see him watching tiredly in the distance.

“It’s the new Ring movie… Zack told it’s good, figured to give it a go.” He shrugged slightly. I think I couldn’t feel my toes by now. Couldn’t believe how cold the nights could get in California.

“Can I watch it… with you?” I questioned quietly.

“Sure,” He smiled and I knew he looked down at me, “But first we have to get inside. You ready?”

And just like that he exposed me to the cold. I prayed to god not to slip and crack my skull open as I ran for the door. The heavy contrast between the outside and the inside was mindblowing. Probably because when mum got back from the studio, she lit up the fireplace of the living room, knowing it will get as cold as in a snowman’s ass. The coals were still smoldering as we both went by the fireplace and walked up the stairs.

The door to mum’s room was left slightly open so the cat would go on it’s 3 o’clock adventures if the need arose. We tiptoed past her lair and quietly walked in Brian’s room, which was illuminated by a single lamp on the nightstand.

The room smelled like him. Like his Hugo Boss cologne and that Schwarzkopf hairspray. An oddly satisfying combination. The big LED tv above the wardrobe was paused on the very beginning of the movie and his striped Schecter laid unplugged on the messy bed with his black leather bound notebook.

I walked in the bathroom and dried my feet off in one of the towels before throwing it in the hamper, hearing him unpause the movie. Back in the day I had been a big fan of the Ring and it’s sequel. I can’t believe it took them all these years to finally make the third part.

When I walked back in the room and closed the bathroom door behind myself, I saw him putting away the guitar in it’s leather case, before he moved to the bed and turned off the lamp. I walked past the tv, my eyes glued to it, before I got in beside him, adjusting the pillows behind me.

“Seriously… The bitch killed everyone on the plane?” I mumbled to myself as I scooted down a bit. I liked horror movies, but man do I got scared and freaked the hell out each time a jumpscare hit the screen.
At one point Brian even offered me guidance through the movie, “Would you feel better if you’d take my hand?” He snickered.

“Uh-ha,” I nodded frantically, lacing my fingers with his. There goes the great thought about falling asleep finally. It seemed the movie didn’t quite make such an impact on Brian as it did on me, since he just turned on his side and wrapped his arm around my waist, closing his eyes.

How could he not be the least bit scared? The thunder outside and the jumpscares inside? I mean… what the hell is wrong with him? “You’re just gonna sleep now?”

“Mhm,” He mumbled as soon as I had turned on my side. He had pulled me closer, his hand slipping to the lining of my panties and later slowly sliding up my side to cup my breast under the top as he pressed a kiss on my bare shoulder. “Goodnight.”

“You’re making sure I don’t lose it?” I chuckled, pointing out to his hand on my boob.

I could feel him grinning against my skin, “Better safe than sorry.”

It was just a matter of moments until I felt his hand slide under my panties and his finger slip inside me from behind. “You’re already wet,” He whispered in surprise.

“Maybe I just peed myself,” I shrugged, trying to keep my cool while his finger was sliding in and out, “Have you seen what’s going on in the movie?”

“I have better things on my mind right now,” He whispered against my neck, before pushing his lips against the sensitive skin, maintaining the unshaken rhythm down below. And I thought he was about to fall asleep, silly me… My lips parted and I could feel my cheeks flush as my breathing become heavy.

Unsurprisingly he pulled his finger out and took my chin to turn my head so I’d be facing him. He watched me for a moment, before his lips crashed against mine, forcing a moan out of me. I turned on my back, taking his face in my hands while he pulled my underwear off. An odd sensation filled my insides and I wasn’t talking about his dick. Something so… so familiar. He broke the kiss to pull the crop top over my head and throw away somewhere.

Well this was different. Having sex to the sounds of someone being brutally murdered was a first to me. My eyes traveled to the bulge in his boxers. “Don’t even think about it, my dick is not going anywhere near your mouth…”

“Come on,” I tried to contain my laughter, “You still can’t get over the time you came in my mouth in less than a minute?”

“That technique of yours… I mean fuck…” He said as he pulled the boxers off, showing off the erection in it’s full glory.

“I know,” I smiled proudly, “But sooner or later it will end up in my mouth. Just warning you.”

“Not today, babe,” He smirked, as he positioned himself on top of me, my arms snaking around his neck. A groan left me as soon as he pushed his length in. My hand tangled in his hair as his lips lingered on mine, suppressing the moan which wanted to come out so desperately. The thrusts became faster and harder. “Get on top of me…” He breathed almost without a sound as he pulled away from me.

I complied and moved myself on top of him as soon as he was on his back, brushing my hands through my long hair right as his member had slid inside me. Brian’s hands rested on my back, pulling me closer as I moved myself up and down.

“You are so… fucking beautiful,” He moaned in between kissing me. I would’ve laughed. Had he seen me? My hair was slightly dump after the previous shower and starting to curl in places it shouldn’t, I had absolutely no make-up and I probably tasted like an ashtray. Yeah… I was fucking beautiful. By then he was panting on each collide of our sweaty bodies. I was close to losing my mind. You know the feeling where you want to sneeze, but you can’t? A bloody torture.

His hands cupped my ass and he simply started thrusting in a fast tempo, making me hold onto dear life by the headboard as I threw my head back, a loud moan leaving my insides right before I shuddered, feeling the wonderful bliss also known as a fucking orgasm. Fucking finally.

Typically enough- he came inside me just as I collapsed on top of him.

“You have to stop doing this if you don’t want to end up with a kid on your arms,” I spoke against the skin of his neck.

“I thought you were on the pill,” He frowned, wrapping his muscular arm around my back.

“You know how I’m with drugs… I have a love and hate relationship, meaning right now I hate them beyond limits,” I explained. The main reason why I wanted to stop the therapy was because I lost a lot of weight. I wasn’t popping those contraceptive pills because I didn’t want a kid, god no, that’s what the pull out method was invented for. I was on the hormonal therapy because, surprisingly enough (note the sarcasm) I had the same thing my mum had. POS. Actually few of the docs told me I couldn’t get pregnant without the proper course of treatment, others told me it’s possible either way. So go and figure.

“I guess I wouldn’t be too mad at myself if I knocked you up,” He chuckled, running his fingers over my back in a calming manner.

“Yeah, well I would!” I exclaimed in a fake frustration, a smile appearing on my lips just seconds later. “For a day or so.”

“You want a kid?” Brian questioned in surprise as he tried sitting up, making me fall over him.

“Why not,” I mumbled sleepily, pulling the duvet over myself. “I’m not saying I want to go to Walmart and buy one right away, but in the nearest future? Sure.” The doc said it would be best to get a kid until I turn twenty five… Well, obviously, that train has left it’s station so I figured I should pop out one until I turn thirty. Besides I’d love to see the look on mum’s face when I tell her she’s gonna be a grandma. She’d have a heart attack.

“So you want a family…” There was an odd tone to his voice, which I tried to ignore to my best capability.

“I want a lot of things, including a fire-breathing dragon,” I smiled, closing my eyes right as he had gotten under the blanket, with his back turned against me. My hand rested on his side as I pulled myself closer, feeling the ends of his hair tickle my face. “Dude, you need to get a haircut.”

“I know. I’ll try my best to go to that place by the studio tomorrow,” He spoke just as the movie was coming to it’s end. As far as I could tell by hearing those final screams and whatnot. His hand rested on top of my palm, lacing our fingers together as he pulled my hand closer to his chest.

“What are you doing tomorrow… besides getting a trim?” I asked on the verge of falling asleep.

“Just… recording some shit, I guess… Why?”

“How about… lunch?” I mumbled zoning off. The last thing I heard was Brian turning off the tv as I fell in the sweet slumber.

Thanks to that mesmerizing Xanax, I had slept for eight hours straight without waking up. Usually I was a light sleeper and I would’ve heard my mum leaving for the airport, or Brian going to the studio, but today – nop, nah, not a chance. I woke up to the digital clock on the nightstand mockingly blinking 11:13 at me.

I sat up with a heavy sigh as I rubbed my hands over my face. At first I couldn’t get why the walls of my room were beige and not dark grey like they should be. My white curtains were in a form of heavy purple drapes and the light floor was dark hardwood instead of the marble. Took me a minute to remember the events of the night.

“Shit…” My voice was husky and my body still bare. “We cuddled… fucking cuddled…”

I threw the duvet aside as I got out of the bed, stretching my limbs. On my way to exit the room, I grabbed the lace panties and the crop top laying carelessly on the floor and walked over to my lair. I was so confused with the relationship that we had. I didn’t have the slightest clue where we stood and I could’ve bet on my mum’s drum kit that this was not going to turn out like the perfect love story. He cheated on me once already. It still hurt and I didn’t care how sweet he was acting at the moment.

My hand reached for the phone laying on the bed where I had left it. The sun was up in the sky and it seemed to be a rather hot day outside, the exact opposite of the previous night. As I swiped me finger across the screen, I realized I had a couple of texts. Mike wrote that he had finally gotten the hold of the guys and they’d like to meet me. Yea, not today, buddy. I opened the one from my mum, saying I shouldn’t worry, she’ll be back shortly and that I have to take care of the cat.

I sighed as I read over the texts, sitting down on my bed. I opened the message from Brian.

Morning. I’ve got a bit caught up in the studio, maybe just come by and bring some food. Would love to hear your opinion on the new song. X
I typed up a quick answer, before heading for the shower.

How hungry are you? Cause I want to go get my hair and nails done, which will be around 2-4 hours. And btw its my day off, no producer talk today. XX

I managed to have the fastest shower I’d ever had in my entire life. Ten minutes and I was out, simply because I didn’t wash my hair, since I wanted get them dyed and they obviously had to wash them there either way. Maybe, if I got lucky and Tatyana was free by the time I pulled at the hairsaloon, she’d at best would find a stray shot of cum in my pink strands, but knowing her she’d just laugh it off.

I read the reply.

I don’t want you as a producer, I want you as Riles. Don’t sweat it, I’ll just raid the vending machine until you get here. SYL.

I swear to god I tried my best to be in and out of the saloon, but you have to understand I had to make it up somehow for Tatyana, because she pushed back her appointments just to take me and even fixed me with a nail lady, doing both my hair and nails at the same time. I should’ve been in and out in two hours, well… that didn’t fucking happen, since Saint was right after me and we all ended up chatting through additional three hours and drinking too much coffee. Those ladies always knew how to crack me up and after I left them both I didn’t feel that depressed anymore, but I knew Brian will hand me my behind on a silver plate for being so late.

But hey… At least I looked amazing – I had a fresh set of wonderfully black acrylics and my baby pink hair was all in cute waves and I got him the roquefort cheese he was obsessing about so much, which I found completely disgusting.

As I exited my car which I had parked right next to Brian’s, I saw him jog down the steps of the Liberty Records and walk across the relatively empty parking lot, the car key lingering from his fist as he spoke on the phone. He looked angry.

“No, she can’t have my fucking dog! What are you fucking talking about!” I heard him shout in the phone as he closed in on me.

“What’s going on?” I frowned, throwing the car key in my bag.

He came up and pressed a kiss to my cheek, moving the phone slightly away from him, before he quietly said with a nod of his head, “get in the car,”

I opened the door on the passenger side right as he walked around the car and took his place behind the wheel, turning on the engine, “She sold my fucking guns? That’s… perfect,” He pinched the bridge of my nose, pulling out of the parking lot as I put the seat-belt on, throwing my bag in the back. “I hope she’s satisfied by the amount of dough she got, ‘cause I’m not fucking giving another dime to her.”

Oh so this was something about his ex-wife and he wasn’t angry at me. This must be my lucky day.

His face went blank for a split second, before he burst out in an angry laughter, “She said I beat her?” He sighed right before he pulled out on the Pacific Coast Highway. “Now to think about it, I probably should’ve… This is fucking bullshit, man…”

I just sat there, looking upon his white knuckles on the steering wheel. I hadn’t seen him this pissed in quite a while.

“Uh-ha, I’m not making any promises.” With that he simply threw the phone across the dashboard. “Fuck!” He hit the wheel, before his hand brushed through his hair. “Fucking bitch…”

“You want to tell me what’s going on?” I asked right as he turned on the stereo, something very much metal and very much aggressive blaring through the car.

He adjusted the volume as a heavy sigh left his insides. “That was my lawyer. Michelle… My wonderful wife told the judge I fucking beat her up and now she wants to leave me fucking broke and she wants to take my dog. So… We’re going to get my fucking dog.”

Notes

Hey guys, thank you very much for all the feedback. I truly appreciate your comments no matter how long or short they are. ^^ I had two days off work, so I was bored out of my mind and I believe I've seen every single movie by now, so here's a slightly longer chapter. Don't know how interesting it turned out in the end, but this is the result of the sleepless nights.

Am I the only one who finds writing easier past midnight? I hate to work night shifts, but man I do love to write from 1-4AM.