My Bloody Idiot

You know those days where sun shines a little bit brighter, the cool breeze feels a little bit warmer and your smile just grows a little bigger, when you realize not even hurricane Katrina could fuck your day up. Well… this clearly was not one of those days.

I stepped back from Brian, seeing Jennifer standing in my backyard thinking she owns the damn place. I frowned. “I’m sorry?”

“Fuck me…” Brian muttered under his breath. We’ll get to that in a moment, love…

“ You should be!” She yelled back, coming closer in her Louboutins, the heels of her shoes visibly sinking in the grass. Her rage glazed eyes fixed on Brian. “So this is why you couldn’t come to my birthday party?” Scream a bit louder and even Matt will pick up on the conversation through his headphones. “Because you’re hot for the whore?”

A small chuckle escaped my mouth as my attention shifted from Jennifer to Brian and back. “…it’s your birthday?” Well tickle me surprised.

“No shit!” She shouted back, coming closer. I swear if she charges at me, I don’t answer for the consequences. “Don’t you have anything to say for yourself?” She screamed at Brian.

“Well, first of all - this is private property and you’re trespassing,” He spoke annoyed as he crossed his arms over his chest, “Secondly? Me and you?” He pointed between the two of them, “Are not a fucking item.”

She seemed to be at a loss for words as her jaw dropped, before she did indeed charge. Only towards Brian, hitting him with her ugly purse. “You son of a—“ her own anger filled scream cut her off. Well, this turned out to be quite the show… “And you!” Suddenly she was all up in my face, forcing me to step back to avoid her showing that acrylic nail in my chest. “You were my fucking producer! You can’t just sleep with my fucking boyfriend!”

“I’m not your boyfriend…” Brian sighed.

“You’re right,” I nodded. “I were. You walked away from me. And as far as I know I can sleep with whomever the fuck I want. There’s no law forbidding it,” Only if I chose to sleep with a minor, which was absolutely sick if you asked me, “But you filming me and uploading it? I’ll see you in court, love,” A satisfied smirk grew on my face.

“You bitch!” Before I knew it – an ungodly force made me jerk my head to the side. A pulsating pain took over my left cheek. The cunt just slapped me?

“Hey!” I heard the familiar voice shout from behind Jennifer, “There’ s a party and I hadn’t been invited?”

Slowly I turned my head, pushing the pink strands of hair out of my face as I saw mum coming around the corner with two paper shopping bags.

“Oh shit, Jude, let me help you with that,” It seemed like Brian had been standing behind me, when he decided to rush over to my mum and help her with the grocery bags.

Jennifer turned around with a roll of her eyes, “and who the fuck are you?” She demanded.

“Uhmm, hi, hello, how are you?” Mum frowned as Brian took the bags from her. “What do you mean ‘who the fuck am I’?” As she came closer, her hand dropped the car key in her enormous handbag. “Who the fuck are you?”

Mum’s blues connected with my cheek, before she pointed towards the probably red as hell cheek, without an audible question. I waved the whole thing off.

Jennifer crossed her arms over her cleavage, starting a stare down with Jude Clarke. One phrase- wrong fucking move. “I asked you first.”

“You asked me first?” A surprisingly deep crease formed in mum’s botox filled forehead. “What are you twelve?” I’d say she’d gotten close enough. Mums eyes fell upon me, “Is she your friend?”

“That’s Jennifer.” I stated walking towards the glass table and picking up Brian’s smokes. God forbid I had friends like her. A single word mirrored in mum’s face – ‘oh’. She too pulled a pack of smokes out of her bag and moved over towards me to jack the lighter from my hand. Jennifer turned around to face her. Was that a death glare? Cute.

“So I’m making a lasagna in a bit and I hope you’re finally hungry... Also some of my boys are coming over, I hope that’s okay with you both,” She spoke, ignoring Jennifer completely. I had to admit, Jude Clarke had a really big pair of balls. I watched my mum in an amused awe.

“Excuse me! I was fucking talking to you!” Jennifer roared, shoving her fingers in my mum’s shoulder. A split of a second and the chick was on the ground, holding her nose and crying in a voice you could only describe as an inhuman. Mum had punched her square in the face.

“Go mum…” I mused in complete awe.

“And I was not!” Finally mum exclaimed. “Oh look at that, I punched your pretty little nose. I guess now I have a reason to terminate the contract with you, you ungrateful little bitch.” She quickly blew out a transparent cloud of smoke before continuing “Oh and by the by – I’m Jude Clarke. And I own your ass, so if you won’t leave my fucking property in the next fucking minute, I’ll make you do tampon commercials!”

“Can you do that?” I cocked an amused eyebrow as I took a deep drag of the cigarette. Oh, this is good.

“Of course.” She said simply, her eyes still fixed on Jennifer who was now getting up, “And I figure you don’t have five million green papers so I suggest you move your ass a lot quicker.”

Call me an evil bitch crawling straight outta hell, but I really, like really enjoyed my mum smacking the absolute hell out of her face. I enjoyed it so much that I got kinda bummed realizing I didn’t record it to watch at times when I was feeling really down. Just like now. See? This is exactly why mum needed to hit her again – so I could get it on tape.

Jennifer whispered something under her nose before she disappeared around the corner. The crazy bitch was fucking spying on Haner. I mean, not even ten minutes passed since she called him. Speaking of the devil… Where the hell was he?

“Why on earth are you only in your underwear?” Mum asked me as I finished my smoke and turned to head for the open patio door.

I shrugged. “…tanning?”

My head turned to look back over my shoulder to see mum raising her head to the sky, “there’s no sun.”

I laughed at her, before I walked through the glass door. Jameson- the cat, charged towards mum as soon as his blue eyes had landed on her. Oh jeez. I rolled my eyes as I walked further. I won’t be lying if I said she loved that animal more than her own daughter for Christ sake.

“Now that that’s taken’ care of,” Mum marched in, holding the cat in her arms as he licked her face. To think about it – he was more of a dog than a cat. A dogcat. Dat for short. God, the liquor must’ve fried my brain yesterday… “Where’s the man of the house? I’ll need some fucking assistance…” She spoke as she moved towards the adjoined kitchen.

“I’ll go find him,” I spoke with a sigh.

“You do that.” She put the cat on the kitchen island. So that’s why there’s always fur in my morning coffee. Explains a great fucking deal. “And throw something on, will ya’? The guys are coming over after all.”

I rolled my eyes as I stomped up the stairs. I mean he couldn’t be downstairs, right? He wasn’t in the living room and he wasn’t in the downstairs bathroom since the door was open. My feet pleasantly sunk in the soft beige carpet as I moved past the broken picture frame and past the door to both mum’s room and mine, before I stopped at the guest bedroom door which was left open.

I stopped in my track and leaned with my side against the door frame, seeing Brian just coming out of the bathroom, with a towel hanging low on his hips.

“She left?” He spoke as he stopped by the toilet table where he had all his hair-care shit scattered around.

“She really didn’t have a choice,” I replied, my eyes lingering on his ‘Forever’ tattoo. Last time I saw him without a shirt it was nearly ten years ago and he had hardly as much ink on his body. And he was waaay skinnier. Right now it looked like he was the regular gym junkey.

“Oh yeah?” He mused, taking some expensive looking shit and spreading in his damp hair. „How come?”

I took a deep breath, my eyes dropping to my tattooed arm, „Well, mum broke her nose for starters.” I started as I walked towards the king sized bed in the middle of the room and flunked down. „Nice disappearing act by the way, dickhead.” I took one of the many pillows and threw at him.

„Hey, what did you want me to do?” He questioned, catching the pillow with his hand and throwing back on the bed by my feet, „It’s not like I can break her fucking jaw for bitchslapping you...”

„You can,” I said as I adjusted the pillows behind my back.

„I’m not that kinda guy, Vex.” He threw me a disapproving look, before he returned back to the mirror. Damn, the ‘Haner’ tattoo was a real shitshow on his back. I couldn’t believe he had it done. Well that’s what you get for eighty bucks.

„You’re going somewhere?” I questioned, playing with my navel piercing. Should I tell him my mum requested for his magic fingers downstairs? Probably not. I’ll let her get mad at him in her own time.

„Yeah, to bed.” He retorted, opening one of the drawers of the dresser and pulling out a pair of boxers. Uhmm... ‘scuse me? I think we started something that left my fucking vagina burning like I had been sitting in a pile of lava. What did he mean ‘he’s going to fucking bed’.

„So we’re not gonna make Rosemary’s baby?” I raised my eyebrow as I watched him pulling on his underwear while his back was turned against me.

„I’m not in the mood anymore,” He walked over to the bed and laid down on top of the sheets, taking an iPad from the nightstand besides the bed.

„What did you just say?” My head turned to shot him a confused look. I could smell his cologne mixed with the shaving cream and fuck my ovaries – but that fucking turned me on even more.

„It’s been hella day, Clarke. I’m tired.” He muttered. I heard one of those muscle cars roar outside the house. The loud roar of the engine announced mum’s morons arrival.

„Can you—„ I cut myself off as I took the iPad away him and put on the nightstand on my side of bed.

„Okay, fine.” He took a breath, „You have my undivided attention.”

„Good to know, man,” I rolled my eyes, sliding lower so our faces would be aligned. I turned on my side, watching over his handsome face. A face girls fought over. „You know... I remember you saying that at your old age it only takes a wink and a smile...” I laughed, boosting myself up on my forearm.

A small smirk appeared on his face. „Your mom is downstairs, Clarke. And the door is open...”

„Like that has stopped you before,” I rolled my eyes as I pushed myself upwards and off the bed to go and close the door, locking it just moments later.

„Maybe not before... But now I’m at that respectable age where it wouldn’t be really cute for your mother to stumble upon my naked ass.” He snickered as I walked back to the bed.

„She’d probably smack it,” I shrugged as I got on top of him. „So tell me, oh-great-sex-god, what it takes for you to remember a chick after fucking her.”

He smirked, snaking his hand around my back and seconds later throwing me around so he’d be on top of me, „A sexy british accent would be a start.” He leaned over and kissed the very corner of my mouth, sending shivers up my spine.

„So you like brits?” I mused as his lips trailed down my neck.

His lips raised from my skin and I knew he was grinning like crazy, „Well not all of them. Just this one chick in particular.”

„Is that so...” I whispered as his lips traveled down to my collar bone and his hand slid down my hip and disappeared between my legs. Oh god... I arched my back as a moan escaped my lips. His fingers were massaging my core through the lace fabric. „Is that what-what you tell them?”

He laughed, holding himself up above me, „I don’t normally talk while I fuck my groupies.” His fingers slipped under the lace, starting a solid rhythm around my clit. „They’re not in it to listen me quote Aristotle.”

„Fuck...” I moaned as his finger disappeared in me. This guy was a fucking wizard of finger fucking. I mean... fuck, where did he learn to do that?! Last time he was between my legs – he needed a map and a compass to find the goddamn clit, but now... shit.

„You’d want to keep it down.” He said as he placed a kiss on my stomach, „we’re not alone.”

Suddenly his hand disappeared from between my legs and the creaking of the bed made my eyes pop open. He had leaned over me to take the iPad. „Are you for real right now?”

„Relax,” he spoke, swiping through the electronic device.

„So you said you don’t quote Aristotle,” I started, receiving a second long curious look from him as I pushed myself up slightly, looking over his ripped body. „How about a poem?”

„A poem?” he laughed, raising his eyes from the iPad as soon as he plugged in the iPad to the sound system mum had made build in every room of the house. He left the iPad on the nightstand on his side and in just a matter of seconds Nine Inch Nail – Closer started blaring through the speakers which were at the every corner of the room. „You remember this song?” he questioned with a grin, before he got off the bed and walked over to the wardrobe, in a search of something.

„How could I not?” I snorted, before I continued with a roll of my eyes. „You locked me to the bloody bed frame and in the middle of fucking me simply pulled out and disappeared in the kitchen because you were fucking hungry.”

He turned around and I noticed something shiny in his hand. The item had a metallic glow to it. With a devious grin he got back on the bed and without a word, took both of my arms and raised up. I could only frown as I lifted my head up to see the damn thing he had fished out of his drawer were a pair of handcuffs. He just handcuffed me to the metallic bedframe. „You can’t be serious...”

„I’ll try not to get sidetracked this time,” He smirked as I tried moving my hands around. He better have the goddamned key. „So... a poem?”

My eyes connected with his hands which were oh-so slowly pulling off my panties and throwing them to the floor. A deep crease formed between his dark eyebrows. „...what?”

„Your ink stretches all the way down—„

„Yup,” I replied, feeling his finger trace the line of the skull tattooed on my lower stomach.

He snickered, „You’re full of surprises, Clarke. Maybe you have something else I don’t know of?”

„Well...” I thought back on all those possible things he hadn’t seen by now. My eyes lowered on my bra covered boobs. „I had my nipples pierced...”

„You’re joking...” His hand pulled down on the cups of the bra, exposing my breasts to the world. „Holy shit.”

„I prefer bloody hell,” I smirked. He looked like a child who was just brought in a toy store and his parents told him he could choose whatever the hell he liked. It was just a matter of seconds, before his tongue was tracing my nipple. I arched my back in pleasure, feeling his finger sliding in me. The combination of him sucking on my nipples and his finger thrusting in and out was almost enough to get me to the very top.

„So... I know only this one poem,” He spoke, his lips traveling up my breast very slowly. „Roses are red,” he kissed my collar bone, „this poem’s a trick,” he continued up my neck, sucking down on it just as I moaned in pleasure, „so get on your knees,” By then his lips were on my jawbone until he finally whispered, „and suck my dick...”

I moaned loudly, being just a second away from reaching an orgasm. He took it as a sign to come to an abrupt stop. Why? Because he was a dick. Always has been and always will be. My heavy eyelids opened as I spoke angrily, „what’s the big ide—„ I couldn’t even finish my question as I felt his erection slam in me, „bloody hell...”

When did he lose his boxers, by the way? I was in such an euphoric haze that I couldn’t really think straight. My eyes closed and my lips parted as I arched my back once more, his hands holding him up as he thrusted in and out. I mean... the guy has never been quite small to begin with, but... god damn. He finally had learned to use his little friend the right way.

Without a warning, he slipped out and turned me around. I grabbed on the metallic frame. I have always known this was his favorite position. I didn’t know what it was with dudes, but most of them came harder and faster than an avalanche coming down mount Everest when I was on my fours... Well, in this case – on my knees with my hands chained to the bedframe and arching my back like I had never before.

„This...” He started and I could imagine his Synyster Gates smirk was strongly engraved on his lips by now, „Is what would make me remember you if you were my groupie.”

He pushed my hair to the side, before his hand slid all across my back. Is he just gonna stand there and admire the view? „Well, maybe you too should make a lasting impression?” I smirked back at him over my shoulder.

„The poem didn’t do the trick?” He teased, before he slammed his length in me. I strongly believed I had never rolled my eyes as hard as I did in that moment.

„Fuck...” I breathed as his thrusts became faster... harder. It seemed each my exhale had become nothing more and nothing less than a sensual moan. He kept moving in a solid rhythm, and right then and there I realized I could not hold on for not even a single second. I shuddered as my walls tightened around his length, seemingly pushing his own arrogant self in the blissful euphoria.

His sweaty body collapsed right beside me. So much for that shower, dude.

„Did... Did you just cum inside me?” I questioned as soon as I had regained my breath.

He took his boxers from the end of the bed and pulled them on as he shrugged. „You’re on the pill, aren’t you?”

„Well yea, but how did you know about it?” I asked, trying to turn around so I’d be on my back.

„A lucky guess,” He smirked, heading for the door.

„Hey! Where the fuck are you going?” I demanded.

„I’m hungry.” He had stopped with his hand on the door handle, before he looked back at me with a hell of a grin. Oh you asshole...

I shook my head, starting to finally get out of the blissful haze and starting to get real pissed off. „At least throw a blanket on me, will you?”

With a sigh he walked over to the closet and picked out a big crimson towel, before coming over and throwing it over me, right after he had fixed my bra.

„I’m so gonna kick your ass,” I said, squinting my eyes on him. He leaned over, pecking my lips slightly.

„I know.” He replied, before he walked towards the door, unlocking it and leaving it fucking open.

„Oh you gotta be kidding me...” My attention shifted from the door to my handcuffed arms. Another ten minutes and my arms will go numb... With a heavy sigh I fixed my eyes back on the door, hoping and praying no one would figure it’s a good enough idea to explore the second floor. But it seemed this wasn’t my lucky day. One of mum’s morons – Luke – walked past the door, before he stepped back, with an amused frown on his face.

„Need a hand?” He laughed, resting his forearm on the doorframe above his head.

„Bugger off, Luke...” I glared at him.

„Did Gates do this to you?” He raised a glass he was holding to his lips. „’cause I have to admit, the dude has some pretty big balls...” Yeah, and they’re going to get even bigger. I’m so gonna kick him right in the fucking nuts.

Notes

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Took me quite the while to write this one up, but it's here... it's done.

Let me know what ya' think!