Olivia

“Brian?”

He was walked towards me then, a little slower than before, sticking his hands in his pocket and looking sheepish.

“I saw you leave the party alone and just wanted to make sure you were OK,” he said simply, shrugging. He wouldn’t look me in the eye, which was odd. Normally he was cool and collected and had an arrogance to him that I couldn’t help but love. But now, he was acting kind of weird and I didn’t know why.

“Oh, yeah. I’m good,” I said awkwardly. We just stood there for a moment, not really knowing what to say.

“Well, uh, do you want me to walk you home? I mean, I know it’s not far and everything, but it’s night and…”

“Yeah, that would be nice,” I said, cutting him off. “Are you OK?”

He laughed, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

We started walking in silence then, and the awkwardness began to melt away. I looked over to Brian as he lit up a cigarette. He offered me one but I shook my head saying, “No thank you.”

He chuckled at me again, “I forgot that you’re a good girl.”

The way he said that gave me butterflies. “I’m not as good as you think I am,” I teased.

“Yeah, I saw that side of you tonight, that’s for sure,” he responded with a smirk. I couldn’t help but smile a little bit, loving how he was looking at me. But, to my dismay, he then said, “Especially seeing you and Zacky together. Wasn’t expecting that one.”

The way he said it was odd. I think he was trying to play it off and as joke but it came across a little too mean and it threw me off. “You saw that?”

“Yeah,” was all he said, not looking at me.

“I’m not really sure what happened there,” I admitted, though I wasn’t sure if I should say much more. I was still feeling so conflicted about it all. I didn’t want to say anything bad about Zack, especially not to one of his best friends, but I also didn’t want Brian to think I was invested in Zack either. Though at this point I really had no idea.

This was all just so crazy to me. The thought of being with Zack was nice, though I didn’t feel extremely passionate. Throughout the years Zack had always been so nice to me, always going out of his way to do things for me and to make me laugh. Maybe this was Zack trying to get my attention throughout these years and I just hadn’t noticed, just like Brian was with me. It made me feel guilty, honestly, especially because my heart still longed for Brian deep down. But I didn’t know where I stood with Brian, especially now; he was acting stranger than ever.

“What do you mean?” he asked me, finally looking my way.

“He surprised me, is all. I wasn’t expecting it,” I told him honestly.

“Is that why you left the party?”

“Kind of,” I said. “I just felt a little overwhelmed with that on top of being a little drunk.”

Brian smiled at me, “You may have been more than a little drunk, Sanders.”

I glared, “I was fine! Just tipsy.”

He shook his head, “With how you were with me I would’ve thought you were more than tipsy.”

That bothered me. Did he really think that the only way I could act sexy and confident was when I was drunk? “Like I said, I’m not the good girl you think I am. I don’t need to be drunk to have a good time,” I told him, defending myself.

“It’s just a side of you I haven’t seen,” he said, looking away from me with a small smile. “What are you going to do now?”

“I have no idea,” I said. “Sober up and sleep. That’s the first step.”

He nodded and was quiet for a moment. We continued to walk along and were getting close to my apartment now.

“Just don’t leave him hanging, I guess,” he said then. “I don’t know about what Zack wants out of it or anything, but just let him know how you feel. It think it would suck to not know how someone feels about you.”

Tell me about it. I almost laughed out loud thinking of the irony of what he just said. “I won’t. I am not sure how I feel. I never knew he had any interest in me at all.”

“According to Johnny, he’s been pining over you for years.”

“Johnny saw too?” I asked, now worrying about who else saw what happened. I didn’t want Zack to be embarrassed by me running away. I felt like such a bitch.

“And Jimmy. But I’m not sure anyone else noticed.”

I sighed and Brian asked me what was wrong. “I just feel guilty for leaving like that.”

“It’s understandable. Like you said, you were surprised. I’m sure once you talk to him he’ll understand.”

“I’m just not sure what I’m going to say. I don’t want to hurt him,” I said, looking to Brian.

We were approaching my apartment complex now and were walking through its parking lot. I didn’t want to say goodbye to him just yet. Being around him made me happy, even when we were talking about something like this. The whole point of tonight was to get him to notice me, to understand that I wanted him. I promised myself that I was going to do this tonight, and as my apartment building came into view, I knew it was now or never.

“It’s just hard. He’s a great friend and I like him, of course, just not in the way he might want me to. And I feel bad because I know exactly how that feels,” I said to him, trying to hint at what I really wanted to say.

“You do?” he said, looking at me with a confused look. We were at my door now.

“There’s a reason I wanted to dance with you tonight, Brian, and not him,” I said, my heart pounding so fast I thought I’d pass out. I couldn’t look him in the eye, and so I stared at the ground, waiting for him to say something.

“Is that right?” he asked, taking a step closer to me. I looked up at him and he was smirking at me, which made me melt as always. “I’m not sure that’s the same situation.”

“What do you mean?” I asked quietly.

He was getting closer to me and was staring into my eyes. He placed his hand on my face, tilting my head up closer to his. “Because, “ he whispered, “When you stopped dancing with me tonight all I could think about was how I wanted more of you.”

My legs felt like jello. He was so close to me now and was leaning even closer, closing the gap between us as he pressed his lips against mine. I felt like I was melting into him and I almost fell back, but luckily the door was there to catch me. Brian used that to his advantage, pressing himself against me and kissing me harder. Our hands roamed each others bodies and I couldn’t help but moan. It was the most amazing feeling, his lips against mine, and I felt my whole body burn with lust, passion, and desire.

Brian broke away from me for a moment and I whispered, “Come inside.”

He grinned at me, licking his lips. As I got my keys and went to unlock the door he was still grabbing me, kissing my neck, making me shiver. “I’d love to.”

-0-

Zack

The party was winding down now. After Olivia left and Gates followed, Michelle was in such a snit that she was being rude to a lot of the people there, even her good friends. People, not wanting to deal with her shit, started to leave. Val was trying to talk to her and calm her down, but the strangers didn’t want to listen to the drama and I didn’t blame them.

“Michelle, you’re not even boyfriend and girlfriend,” I heard Val tell her.

“Sure, but we basically are!” Michelle said. “We have a connection.”

Val sighed. I could tell she wanted to talk sense into her sister but didn’t want to hurt her feelings. Brian didn’t care about Michelle as much as she cared about him, which honestly made me mad. He was usually only with her when he couldn’t be with anyone else, and she would drop anything to be with him. He used that to his advantage and I think it made him a dick, honestly. He just needed to be straight with her and tell her no for once. I think he was scared of her and how she would react, which I knew was reasonable, especially now that I saw her freaking out over him walking Olivia home.

Valary put her arms around Michelle. “I want you to be realistic, Chelle. You’re not dating so he’s not really bound to you. You have the right to be upset, but you need to calm down a little, OK?”

If any of us had said that to her, she probably would’ve freaked out, but her twin was able to calm her down. She nodded, hugging her sister.

“Michelle, there’s plenty of hot guys that would be with ya if you just forget about that chump Gates,” Johnny said to her, winking. She rolled her eyes and punched him in the arm.

At this point now it was just the guys, Val and Michelle. We were all sitting around the living room, drinking the last of the beers and we started talked about all of the crazy moments of the night. At first Liv wasn’t brought up at all, but of course Johnny had to ruin it all.

“Zacky and Liv out on the porch, yeah?” he said laughing. Matt gave me a look.

“Shut up, short shit,” I said with a glare.

“Aw someone’s sad they got left behind?” Johnny responded, pissing me off.

“What are you talking about?” Matt asked.

“Zack and your baby sis were making out on the balcony earlier,” Johnny said.

“What?!” Matt exclaimed, more surprised than anything else. “Is that why she left?”

I knew he didn’t ask to offend me but it still stung. Yes, I must have repulsed her so much that she took off.

“Man, she got around tonight,” Michelle said, rolling her eyes. “First grinding with Bri and then making out with you.”

I didn’t say anything, still. The whole thing was so embarrassing. This is why I waited as long as I did to make a move. I was avoiding shit like this!

“Zack, she was really drunk,” Val said. “She probably left because she was overwhelmed and confused by everything.”

I shrugged, just wanting the topic to change desperately.

“What are you going to do, man?” Johnny said.

“He must win her love!” Jimmy said, jumping up from his spot on the floor. “I will help you!”

“Oh, Jimmy, I’m good, really,” I said, not really wanting to know what was going through his mind. Sometimes his plans were more crazy than anything else.

“You are NOT good, Zack! I will help you!” Jimmy said again, but then he fell down on the floor. “Just not right now!”

We all laughed. He was too drunk to stand and probably wouldn’t remember this in the morning. I was hoping the same of the rest of my friends, but I probably wouldn’t be that lucky. At least Jimmy’s fall helped change the topic of whether or not we were sober enough to make it home.

We all decided to stay at the apartment that night because we were too drunk to drive and too cheap to get a cab. As we all got ready for bed, Matt stopped me, away from everyone else.

“Look, man,” he started, placing his hand on my shoulder. He made me nervous; I couldn’t tell if he was going to punch me or not. “I don’t know what your intentions are, but just don’t hurt her.”

“Never,” I said, meaning it. That was the last thing I would ever want to do.

No matter what came from all of this, her happiness was important to me. I was still worried about what would happen between her and Gates, but if something was going on, I would accept it if that’s what she wanted. I might not be happy about it, but I’d have to. She’s my friend, her brother is my friend,and Syn is my friend. The band and the friendships were more important than jealousy. Of course I hoped that she would be mine one day, and I would probably always think that, but I would just have to wait and see.

Notes

Sorry for the wait! I was super sick over the weekend and couldn't update!

Thanks again for all of the comments. I'm curious to see your reactions after this one. I'll update sooner this time, promise!

xoxo