When We Were Young
Chapter Sixteen
“Is he there?”
Nancy frowned at those words. She didn’t recognize the female voice on the other end, so she was really confused.
“Who is this?”
“It’s Michelle.”
Brian wasn’t exactly playing attention to the phone call until he heard how confused Nancy was. He looked up and met her confused gaze. He frowned and waited for her to tell him something, but when she heard a name come out of her mouth, his heart skipped a beat which is the exact same thing that happened to Nancy.
“Hi, Michelle.” Nancy said, trying to stay as calm as possible.
“I’m not here.” Brian mouthed, trying to shut her up. “I’m. Not. Here.”
“I asked if Brian is there, Nancy.”
“Uh–No, he’s not. Why would he be here?” She asked, “I thought he was in Huntington Beach?”
“I don’t know where he is, otherwise I wouldn’t have called you, don’t you think?”
“I see.” Nancy whispered; there was something about Michelle’s voice that told her she had been crying and that she really wanted to know where her boyfriend was and for some reasons it broke her heart. But maybe the reason behind it was just her being a mom. Ever since getting pregnant she was so emotional over anything. “I’m sorry I can’t help you.” She said honestly, “Have you asked”
“The guys? His parents? No one knows where he is and–” Michelle stopped speaking for a moment and Nancy guessed she was holding back a sob or something. “What if something happened to him?”
Nancy glared at Brian whose eyes were like the ones of a puppy. She shook her head in disappointment. “I’m sure nothing happened to him. You know what he’s like, crazy at heart. Not sure why he left but I don’t know, give him some time? Maybe he wants some time to work on the album? I have no idea.”
“I don’t know. We–shit, I don’t even know why I’m speaking to you.” Michelle said, “I think I’ll do that.” Michelle said, “Thank you, Kennedy.”
Nancy said her goodbye to Michelle and slowly put her phone down, then punched Brian in the shoulder so quickly that he didn’t see it coming.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” She yelled, “Michelle is fucking desperate, Brian! I mean, she got her number from God knows who just to ask me if you’re here! Why would you be here? No, the right question is why the fuck are you here? And don’t tell me about the ‘I wanted to get away’ bullshit again.”
Brian was surprised when Nancy punched him, but she didn’t hurt him so it was all good. He almost forgot how she always wanted to prove that she was strong when in reality she could hurt a girl. He sighed at her words, knowing she was right. What also surprised him, was that Michelle called her. He didn’t think she’d do it.
“I fought with Michelle because of you and JJ.” He admitted, “She got upset because I was out all day yesterday with Suzy picking up a bedroom for our daughter and–”
Nancy frowned and then raised her eyebrows. “Wait, what?” She asked, trying to ignore the strange feeling she got in her stomach whenever he said our daughter. “You picked a bedroom for JJ?”
“Yeah, I wanted to get her something, you know. Don’t worry, I asked Suzy and not the guys so there are princesses everywhere and I really hope she’ll like it.”
She smiled softly at him, not really expecting this from him. It was sweet. “I’m sure she will.”
“Yeah. Anyway, Michelle got upset because I spend more time with JJ and the band than with her and that’s normal because first, JJ’s my daughter and second, we’re recording the new album and I dunno, guess she’s jealous of you.”
While she kind of understood why Michelle was upset about him spending his free time with JJ, she had no idea what to say. It’s not like they ever spoke about his relationship with the blonde and her friends usually didn’t say anything about it either. “There’s no reason why she should be jealous of me.” Right?, she wanted to add, but she decided not to. Of course there was no reason why Michelle should be jealous of her.
Brian looked at her, thinking about her words. He wasn’t sure she was right. Or rather, he wasn’t cheating on Michelle or anything like that, but it’s Nancy who we’re talking about. Michelle knew how much Nancy meant to Brian, and Brian knew how much his ex girlfriend still meant to him, even if it was deep down, so deep down that he wasn’t even sure if he felt connected to the memory he had of Nancy or of Nancy herself.
“Right.” He simply said, then shrugged and put the CDs into the box. For a few moments he kept putting the CDs away and then sighed so loudly, that Nancy looked up at him, wondering what was up. “Nothing, just nevermind.” He simply said, not really wanting to let her know about his thoughts or what was really going on with Michelle. Shit, he though, wishing Jimmy was there. He would’ve known what to say to Michelle and to Nancy and what to do with them. Sure, Jimmy would’ve been quite biased but he still wanted the best for his best friend.
“I just–I don’t know, Brian.” Nancy said at some point. “Michelle seemed pretty… Off? You should call her or at least let her know you’re okay?”
Brian looked at her and shook his head, “No.” He said firmly. “She needs to understand that the world doesn’t revolve around her and that I got more priority in life right now.”
Nancy decided not to say anything, knowing her words would mean nothing to him, so she got up, pushing the box aside. When she got another box, she noticed what was inside: photographs of her old days in California were everywhere; it felt like that a lifetime ago. In that moment, she remembered of something, so she quickly got up and started searching for something in another box. Brian watched her curiously and when she came back with a small box, he curiously looked down at it.
“What is it?”
“A few days ago you said you missed a lot of JJ’s life and you said you wished you were here. There are pictures, videos and pretty much everything since a few days after her birth in here.” She answered, handing him the box. “There’s a TV and a DVD player in the guest room if you want to watch the videos, so yeah… I can finish here; I was almost done for the day anyway.”
Brian stared at her, surprised that she wanted to show him old photographs, but grateful she
did.
Nancy got up and grabbed one of the closed boxes, ready to take it downstairs. “I don’t know if you booked a hotel or something but if you didn’t, you–well, you can stay here, if you want. I’m sure my grandma won’t mind.”
Brian was even more surprised now. Sure, he hoped Nancy would ask him to stay but he was sure she wouldn’t say anything. He watched her leave then looked down at the light yellow box in his hands. It looked old and wondered what was the story behind the box, if there was any.
He walked out of Nancy’s room and looked around, starting searching for the guest room. Clearly, the first bedroom wasn’t the guest room, instead he found Gladys’ bedroom so he quickly closed the door and headed to the next room: it was the bathroom. Finally, at the end of the corridor he found the guest room. It was small, but the bed was big and there was an old TV on a table against the wall. The whole house had a colonial vibe and he loved it.
He sat on the floor right in front of the TV and opened the box. Inside, the first photograph he found was one of JJ and Jimmy. She was sitting on his shoulders and they were somewhere by the sea, he figured it was a place here in Portland but he wasn’t sure. Both his daughter and his best friend were smiling widely at the camera and Brian couldn’t help but smile as well. The next picture was one of Nancy and JJ and judging from the setting, which was a hospital room, he was pretty sure it was one of the first pictures ever taken of JJ; Nancy looked exhausted and JJ was so small you could barely see her face. They both looked beautiful.
Fuck, he thought. I fucking wish I was there.
The following photographs pictured Nancy, JJ and Jimmy together for JJ’s first, second and third birthday; JJ with Nancy’s parents and grandmother, Jimmy and JJ, Jimmy and Nancy and the last one was the one who broke his heart the most.
“Johnny, you shitfuck!” Brian groaned in frustration, “Can you make it work?”
“No, it’s not working! It’s not my fault!”
“If you broke it, I swear to God I’ll make you repay for it twice!” Valary said, getting worried about her new camera.
“Hey, it’s not my fault, okay?! Here, I don’t wanna be the one who breaks Val’s camera.”
Matt and Zacky rolled his eyes while Brian grabbed the camera, noticing how he simply didn’t turn it on.
“Are you fucking kidding me? You need to turn this shit on, you dumbass!”
Nancy laughed when she realized what was going on. “Oh, Johnny…”
“Fuck it, I’ll take the pictures.” Brian said, quickly snapping some photographs of his friends while they weren’t ready and then wrapped an arm around his girlfriend. He looked down at her and smiled before kissing her. She closed her eyes and he took one first picture of them, then the two stared at the camera and Brian finally took a serious photograph. Behind them, a beautiful sunset and the Atlantic Ocean.
Brian still could remember that day perfectly. The band was about to perform in New York and they all decided to take a couple of hours for themselves and enjoy the city before the show. It was around 2006. With a smile on his face, he put the photograph away and put a DVD in the recorder. It had written #01 on it, so he figured it was the first DVD to watch.
He leaned back against the bed as the screen of the TV turned from grey to colors and then showed actual images. The first thing he noticed was JJ in her hospital crib and the date on the screen showed the video was filmed two days after she was born. He smiled, especially as he heard Nancy’s voice in the background. Someone, probably her mother, was asking her how she was feeling.
“I’m good. Getting used to being a mom, you know. She doesn’t sleep much so it’s kinda surprising she’s fast asleep now.” Nancy said and Jimmy chuckled.
“That’s because Uncle Jimmy’s here and she's upset I didn't come sooner!” He said, moving the camera around to make sure he recorded everything of his precious niece. When he noticed she was waking up, he turned the camera to himself, recording a close-up of his face. “She’s waking up!” He exclaimed, all excited before handing the camera to Nancy’s father.
Jimmy looked down at the baby then at Nancy. “What do I do?” He asked, worried.
She chuckled and slowly got up, picking up her baby. “Hello, there.” She whispered before sitting on the bed again. Jimmy sat down next to her and she slowly put JJ in his arms.
“She’s so little, oh my God.” He whispered before sniffing, “I’m gonna break her.”
“No, you’re not. I’m here…” Nancy moved her hand on Jimmy’s and gently stroked it.
“She’s perfect.”
Nancy leaned her head against his shoulders and smiled, “She is.”
“You were right; she does look like Brian.”
“Told you.” Nancy sighed softly and bit her bottom lip. Noticing this, her father moved the camera away from him and instead focused on Jimmy and the baby.
“But mostly like you, thank God.” Jimmy added and chuckled, trying not to make her feel bad.
Brian bit the inside of his cheeks and kept watching the scene. He hated Jimmy for being there when JJ was born, but he knew it was pointless to hate him now. He sighed heavily and kept watching the various DVDs, travelling through JJ’s life and watching all the things he had missed, from birthdays to first times, from random pictures to special ones at various family gatherings.
He was so deep in watching the DVDs and the photographs that he didn’t even notice it was dinner time, so when Nancy walked into the room, he jumped.
“Sorry.” She said and smiled a little, “Uh, grandma is having dinner at her friend’s. Apparently the book club is taking longer today. I’ll go pick her up later.” She informed him, “I wanted to know if you wanted me to cook something or if you wanted to order take away.”
“Pizza is good, you worked enough for today.” He answered and got up, looking at her.
“Alright. Pepperoni as always?” He smiled slightly as she remembered one of his favorite pizza toppings. He simply nodded and she turned away, ready to walk out of the room.
“Nancy.” He called, “Were you alone?”
“What?”
“When you gave birth. Were you alone?”
Nancy looked at him, surprised by his question; but he probably found something about it in the box, so she shouldn’t have been that surprised. “No, my mom was with me.”
“Where was I?”
Nancy swallowed the lump in her through and took a deep breath. “I’m not sure. You guys had a show that night and when I called Jimmy after giving birth he told me you were at a pub? I don’t know, I guess you were drunk or something?”
Brian looked down at his feet and squeezed his eyes shut, listening to her words. “I should’ve been there. Not your mom, me.”
Nancy licked her lips and took a deep breath. “I know. I wanted you there. The nurse even asked me if we should wait for you or something and I wanted to tell her that yes, we were waiting for you but… We weren’t.” She said, with slight sadness in the tone of her voice, and looked away, “I’m sorry, Brian.”
“Me too.”
Nancy frowned at those words. She didn’t recognize the female voice on the other end, so she was really confused.
“Who is this?”
“It’s Michelle.”
Brian wasn’t exactly playing attention to the phone call until he heard how confused Nancy was. He looked up and met her confused gaze. He frowned and waited for her to tell him something, but when she heard a name come out of her mouth, his heart skipped a beat which is the exact same thing that happened to Nancy.
“Hi, Michelle.” Nancy said, trying to stay as calm as possible.
“I’m not here.” Brian mouthed, trying to shut her up. “I’m. Not. Here.”
“I asked if Brian is there, Nancy.”
“Uh–No, he’s not. Why would he be here?” She asked, “I thought he was in Huntington Beach?”
“I don’t know where he is, otherwise I wouldn’t have called you, don’t you think?”
“I see.” Nancy whispered; there was something about Michelle’s voice that told her she had been crying and that she really wanted to know where her boyfriend was and for some reasons it broke her heart. But maybe the reason behind it was just her being a mom. Ever since getting pregnant she was so emotional over anything. “I’m sorry I can’t help you.” She said honestly, “Have you asked”
“The guys? His parents? No one knows where he is and–” Michelle stopped speaking for a moment and Nancy guessed she was holding back a sob or something. “What if something happened to him?”
Nancy glared at Brian whose eyes were like the ones of a puppy. She shook her head in disappointment. “I’m sure nothing happened to him. You know what he’s like, crazy at heart. Not sure why he left but I don’t know, give him some time? Maybe he wants some time to work on the album? I have no idea.”
“I don’t know. We–shit, I don’t even know why I’m speaking to you.” Michelle said, “I think I’ll do that.” Michelle said, “Thank you, Kennedy.”
Nancy said her goodbye to Michelle and slowly put her phone down, then punched Brian in the shoulder so quickly that he didn’t see it coming.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” She yelled, “Michelle is fucking desperate, Brian! I mean, she got her number from God knows who just to ask me if you’re here! Why would you be here? No, the right question is why the fuck are you here? And don’t tell me about the ‘I wanted to get away’ bullshit again.”
Brian was surprised when Nancy punched him, but she didn’t hurt him so it was all good. He almost forgot how she always wanted to prove that she was strong when in reality she could hurt a girl. He sighed at her words, knowing she was right. What also surprised him, was that Michelle called her. He didn’t think she’d do it.
“I fought with Michelle because of you and JJ.” He admitted, “She got upset because I was out all day yesterday with Suzy picking up a bedroom for our daughter and–”
Nancy frowned and then raised her eyebrows. “Wait, what?” She asked, trying to ignore the strange feeling she got in her stomach whenever he said our daughter. “You picked a bedroom for JJ?”
“Yeah, I wanted to get her something, you know. Don’t worry, I asked Suzy and not the guys so there are princesses everywhere and I really hope she’ll like it.”
She smiled softly at him, not really expecting this from him. It was sweet. “I’m sure she will.”
“Yeah. Anyway, Michelle got upset because I spend more time with JJ and the band than with her and that’s normal because first, JJ’s my daughter and second, we’re recording the new album and I dunno, guess she’s jealous of you.”
While she kind of understood why Michelle was upset about him spending his free time with JJ, she had no idea what to say. It’s not like they ever spoke about his relationship with the blonde and her friends usually didn’t say anything about it either. “There’s no reason why she should be jealous of me.” Right?, she wanted to add, but she decided not to. Of course there was no reason why Michelle should be jealous of her.
Brian looked at her, thinking about her words. He wasn’t sure she was right. Or rather, he wasn’t cheating on Michelle or anything like that, but it’s Nancy who we’re talking about. Michelle knew how much Nancy meant to Brian, and Brian knew how much his ex girlfriend still meant to him, even if it was deep down, so deep down that he wasn’t even sure if he felt connected to the memory he had of Nancy or of Nancy herself.
“Right.” He simply said, then shrugged and put the CDs into the box. For a few moments he kept putting the CDs away and then sighed so loudly, that Nancy looked up at him, wondering what was up. “Nothing, just nevermind.” He simply said, not really wanting to let her know about his thoughts or what was really going on with Michelle. Shit, he though, wishing Jimmy was there. He would’ve known what to say to Michelle and to Nancy and what to do with them. Sure, Jimmy would’ve been quite biased but he still wanted the best for his best friend.
“I just–I don’t know, Brian.” Nancy said at some point. “Michelle seemed pretty… Off? You should call her or at least let her know you’re okay?”
Brian looked at her and shook his head, “No.” He said firmly. “She needs to understand that the world doesn’t revolve around her and that I got more priority in life right now.”
Nancy decided not to say anything, knowing her words would mean nothing to him, so she got up, pushing the box aside. When she got another box, she noticed what was inside: photographs of her old days in California were everywhere; it felt like that a lifetime ago. In that moment, she remembered of something, so she quickly got up and started searching for something in another box. Brian watched her curiously and when she came back with a small box, he curiously looked down at it.
“What is it?”
“A few days ago you said you missed a lot of JJ’s life and you said you wished you were here. There are pictures, videos and pretty much everything since a few days after her birth in here.” She answered, handing him the box. “There’s a TV and a DVD player in the guest room if you want to watch the videos, so yeah… I can finish here; I was almost done for the day anyway.”
Brian stared at her, surprised that she wanted to show him old photographs, but grateful she
did.
Nancy got up and grabbed one of the closed boxes, ready to take it downstairs. “I don’t know if you booked a hotel or something but if you didn’t, you–well, you can stay here, if you want. I’m sure my grandma won’t mind.”
Brian was even more surprised now. Sure, he hoped Nancy would ask him to stay but he was sure she wouldn’t say anything. He watched her leave then looked down at the light yellow box in his hands. It looked old and wondered what was the story behind the box, if there was any.
He walked out of Nancy’s room and looked around, starting searching for the guest room. Clearly, the first bedroom wasn’t the guest room, instead he found Gladys’ bedroom so he quickly closed the door and headed to the next room: it was the bathroom. Finally, at the end of the corridor he found the guest room. It was small, but the bed was big and there was an old TV on a table against the wall. The whole house had a colonial vibe and he loved it.
He sat on the floor right in front of the TV and opened the box. Inside, the first photograph he found was one of JJ and Jimmy. She was sitting on his shoulders and they were somewhere by the sea, he figured it was a place here in Portland but he wasn’t sure. Both his daughter and his best friend were smiling widely at the camera and Brian couldn’t help but smile as well. The next picture was one of Nancy and JJ and judging from the setting, which was a hospital room, he was pretty sure it was one of the first pictures ever taken of JJ; Nancy looked exhausted and JJ was so small you could barely see her face. They both looked beautiful.
Fuck, he thought. I fucking wish I was there.
The following photographs pictured Nancy, JJ and Jimmy together for JJ’s first, second and third birthday; JJ with Nancy’s parents and grandmother, Jimmy and JJ, Jimmy and Nancy and the last one was the one who broke his heart the most.
“Johnny, you shitfuck!” Brian groaned in frustration, “Can you make it work?”
“No, it’s not working! It’s not my fault!”
“If you broke it, I swear to God I’ll make you repay for it twice!” Valary said, getting worried about her new camera.
“Hey, it’s not my fault, okay?! Here, I don’t wanna be the one who breaks Val’s camera.”
Matt and Zacky rolled his eyes while Brian grabbed the camera, noticing how he simply didn’t turn it on.
“Are you fucking kidding me? You need to turn this shit on, you dumbass!”
Nancy laughed when she realized what was going on. “Oh, Johnny…”
“Fuck it, I’ll take the pictures.” Brian said, quickly snapping some photographs of his friends while they weren’t ready and then wrapped an arm around his girlfriend. He looked down at her and smiled before kissing her. She closed her eyes and he took one first picture of them, then the two stared at the camera and Brian finally took a serious photograph. Behind them, a beautiful sunset and the Atlantic Ocean.
Brian still could remember that day perfectly. The band was about to perform in New York and they all decided to take a couple of hours for themselves and enjoy the city before the show. It was around 2006. With a smile on his face, he put the photograph away and put a DVD in the recorder. It had written #01 on it, so he figured it was the first DVD to watch.
He leaned back against the bed as the screen of the TV turned from grey to colors and then showed actual images. The first thing he noticed was JJ in her hospital crib and the date on the screen showed the video was filmed two days after she was born. He smiled, especially as he heard Nancy’s voice in the background. Someone, probably her mother, was asking her how she was feeling.
“I’m good. Getting used to being a mom, you know. She doesn’t sleep much so it’s kinda surprising she’s fast asleep now.” Nancy said and Jimmy chuckled.
“That’s because Uncle Jimmy’s here and she's upset I didn't come sooner!” He said, moving the camera around to make sure he recorded everything of his precious niece. When he noticed she was waking up, he turned the camera to himself, recording a close-up of his face. “She’s waking up!” He exclaimed, all excited before handing the camera to Nancy’s father.
Jimmy looked down at the baby then at Nancy. “What do I do?” He asked, worried.
She chuckled and slowly got up, picking up her baby. “Hello, there.” She whispered before sitting on the bed again. Jimmy sat down next to her and she slowly put JJ in his arms.
“She’s so little, oh my God.” He whispered before sniffing, “I’m gonna break her.”
“No, you’re not. I’m here…” Nancy moved her hand on Jimmy’s and gently stroked it.
“She’s perfect.”
Nancy leaned her head against his shoulders and smiled, “She is.”
“You were right; she does look like Brian.”
“Told you.” Nancy sighed softly and bit her bottom lip. Noticing this, her father moved the camera away from him and instead focused on Jimmy and the baby.
“But mostly like you, thank God.” Jimmy added and chuckled, trying not to make her feel bad.
Brian bit the inside of his cheeks and kept watching the scene. He hated Jimmy for being there when JJ was born, but he knew it was pointless to hate him now. He sighed heavily and kept watching the various DVDs, travelling through JJ’s life and watching all the things he had missed, from birthdays to first times, from random pictures to special ones at various family gatherings.
He was so deep in watching the DVDs and the photographs that he didn’t even notice it was dinner time, so when Nancy walked into the room, he jumped.
“Sorry.” She said and smiled a little, “Uh, grandma is having dinner at her friend’s. Apparently the book club is taking longer today. I’ll go pick her up later.” She informed him, “I wanted to know if you wanted me to cook something or if you wanted to order take away.”
“Pizza is good, you worked enough for today.” He answered and got up, looking at her.
“Alright. Pepperoni as always?” He smiled slightly as she remembered one of his favorite pizza toppings. He simply nodded and she turned away, ready to walk out of the room.
“Nancy.” He called, “Were you alone?”
“What?”
“When you gave birth. Were you alone?”
Nancy looked at him, surprised by his question; but he probably found something about it in the box, so she shouldn’t have been that surprised. “No, my mom was with me.”
“Where was I?”
Nancy swallowed the lump in her through and took a deep breath. “I’m not sure. You guys had a show that night and when I called Jimmy after giving birth he told me you were at a pub? I don’t know, I guess you were drunk or something?”
Brian looked down at his feet and squeezed his eyes shut, listening to her words. “I should’ve been there. Not your mom, me.”
Nancy licked her lips and took a deep breath. “I know. I wanted you there. The nurse even asked me if we should wait for you or something and I wanted to tell her that yes, we were waiting for you but… We weren’t.” She said, with slight sadness in the tone of her voice, and looked away, “I’m sorry, Brian.”
“Me too.”
Notes
Most of you were right! It's Michelle the one who called but as you noticed, nothing too big happened, yet ;)
Also, guess who deleted a whole chapter by mistake? You're right that's me! And guess what else? I absolutely loved it and I loved Brian and Nancy in that chapter so yup, feel free to slap me or punch me in the face. I'm already doing it myself but I could use some help to remember not to delete chapters even if I'm 100% sure I already copied somewhere else. I'm a mess, honestly. I have to rewrite everything again and I want to cry. Sigh. Thankfully it's not exactly the next chapter, so I have time to rewrite it but still. Sorry for venting so much!
Thank you to Avengedlover, Kimmie, EmilieAlyosha, J.J. and Hollie! You guessed it was Michelle calling and I noticed you wondered how she got Nancy's number – just wait and see! I won't spill much, but I can assure you stuff and thangs (yes, I'm quoting Rick Grimes from The Walking Dead) will happen in the next chapters so stay tuned :D
Please continue <3
4/5/18