I do exactly as I am told and leave Huntington Beach a few hours later. I had gotten what I came for – confirmation that Eli was, in fact, dead – and a little bit of what I didn’t come for – a fight with the last person I wanted to fight with. Rachel, of course, knows nothing about Zack or the fight we got into. Still, she agrees to go back to Los Angeles a day early and doesn’t push me on the why of it all. As we make the drive back, she remains bubbly and happy and I try to act happy as well, but it’s impossible.

Zack hates me. I knew, after all the years of being gone, it wouldn’t be easy to reconnect. I
knew he would be angry that I never came back. I knew it would be hard, but I wasn’t expecting the way he looked at me. The hatred that filled his eyes was mixed with betrayal. I fucked up, I know I fucked up, but I was just trying to survive. I thought he would at least be a little more understanding.

I don’t want this to be the end of me and Zack. I mean, there hasn’t been a “me and Zack” in years but there was always the possibility. Or, at least, I thought there was. I guess a part of me always thought once I gathered up the courage to find Zack, after he got over how mad he was at me, that we would finally get our happy ending. Instead, he’s so angry I think he could actually spit fire and to top it all off he was dating Gena.

Also, what the fuck is up with that? I leave town for a few years and he just picks up where he left off with Gena? Okay, when I say it like that, it makes sense…but it’s Gena! Of all people, he goes back to her? I don’t understand it. After all the shit she put me through in high school…it is hard for me to believe that he is happy with her. In all actuality though, is he happy with her? He was in the bar hitting on me before he knew it was me. He kissed me and we eventually had sex. He cheated on her; he isn’t happy with her.

I return to work and attempt to go back to living my life. With Eli gone, I can really live. I can
settle down if I want, I can make more friends and make plans without the fear of having to make a run for it when he got out of prison. The problem is, no matter how hard I try or how many hours I work, I can’t stop thinking about Zack. It isn’t in an I-only-want-to-be-with-him type of way. I am angry with him and downright confused. It is more of a want-to-punch-him-in-the-face type of way. Which, quite frankly, I never thought I would feel that way towards Zack.

After a few weeks of feeling this way, I decide to do something about it. I can’t live the rest of my life feeling betrayed by Zack or being angry with him. He used to be my best friend, my shoulder to cry on, the one thing I had to look forward to every day. I had to make things right with him, even if it was only to go our separate ways in the end.

My nerves get worse as I drive back to Huntington Beach. I still haven’t decided how I am going to find Zack. I know going to his parents’ house is my best bet, but I’m not ready to face them. I’m not ready to explain to them why I broke their son's heart. Once I get into town, I decide to head over to Johnny’s Bar. Mostly, because I need a drink but also to give myself time to think of exactly how I am going to find Zack's house without coming off as a crazy stalker or fan. I know I’ve changed over the past several years, but surely someone in this town will recognize me and help me out.

I walk in and the familiar smell of smoke and alcohol hits me. It’s only around two in the afternoon, so the bar is pretty dead. My eyes dart over to the table I was at weeks ago when Zack approached me, and I’m half expecting him to be there, waiting for me, but it’s empty. Before I can take in the rest of the bar, I hear my name. Not Sutton but –

“Sheridan?” The bar is so quiet that it seems louder than it was. Michelle is standing behind the bar, clearly shocked. He lips are slightly parted and she’s looking at me like she had just seen a ghost.

“Hey, Michelle,” I say awkwardly.

She stands there for a moment, staring at me, before replying. “What are you doing here? Where have you been? Did you hear about your brother?”

I sit down at the barstool closest to her. “Um, I’m actually here to see Zack,” I tell her, purposefully ignoring her last two questions.

“Does he know you’re in town?” She asks me.

I shake my head. “No, he doesn’t. Are you working here now?”

“I just help Johnny out when the guys aren’t on tour. Gives me something to do in my downtime,” she replies. “Can I get you something to drink, though?”

“Yeah, a jack and coke would be great,” I tell her pulling out my wallet.

She makes my drink in silence and I stare down at my hands. After what seems like forever, she sits down a double jack and coke. “You’re going to need all the alcohol you can get if you’re going to go talk to Zack.”

I give her a weak smile and thank her before bringing the glass to my lips. “So, how have you been?” I ask.

“Sheridan, where have you been for the last six years?” Michelle instead. “I mean, you just disappeared. The cops were looking for you, Zack was looking for you. He looked for you everywhere we went – whether it was the beach or across the country. You completely broke him and now, you just show up out of the blue? What the hell?”

Of course, Michelle didn’t know the full story, she didn’t know that I was in town a few weeks ago and she didn’t know the real reason I ran away. She wanted answers, and she deserved them, but I had to make things right with Zack first. Then, I could disappear again if I wanted or felt the need to. “I know,” I told her. “Michelle, I will tell you everything. I promise, I will but I need to talk to Zack first.”

She purses her lips. “Fine,” she replied.

I nodded and gulped down the rest of my drink. “Can you tell me where to find him?”

She studied me for a moment before nodding and grabbing an order pad from her left. She scribbled down an address and slid the paper to me. “That’s his address. Don’t tell him you got it from me.”

I nod and take it and the pencil from her. In the corner of the paper, I write down my phone number and carefully tear it off. “This is my number. Call me when you get off and we can get together, and I’ll explain everything.”

She nods but doesn’t say anything else, so I slide off the bar stool and head towards the exit. “Sheridan,” she calls as I open the door. I turn back to her expectantly. “You should know…he and Gena are living together.”

I should have expected it, but my heart still falls into my stomach. I swallow hard and nod, so Michelle knows I heard her before leaving the bar. I hate the idea of them living together. I guess I’ve been trying to convince myself that things weren’t that serious between them. Not only would that make me feel slightly better about sleeping with Zack, but it would make me feel better about the whole him-dating-Gena thing, too. I knew that after all this time, he had definitely moved on, but I expected him to move forward not backward – not back to Gena.

It takes me no time to find Zack's house. I park on the side of the street and before I can talk myself out of it, take a deep breath, jump out of the car and head for his front door. I notice my finger shaking as I reach for the doorbell. I don’t know why I am nervous, but I also can’t deny the anger that begins to rise again.

The door opens and reveals Zack. He’s looking over his shoulder, finishing a sentence and doesn’t realize who’s at the door immediately. When he does, he looks behind him before stepping out of the door and closing it behind him.

“What the hell are you doing here?” he asks me unkindly. “How did you find my house?”
I shove my hands on my hips. “You’re living together? What else did you forget to tell me? You’re engaged?”

Zack scoffs. “It’s really none of your business.”

“You made it my business, Zack! What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Zack opens his mouth to reply but the door behind him opens. Gena sticks her head out and I swear I hear Zack curse under his breath.

“Zack, what…” she trails off when she sees me and her eyes widen. “Sheridan?”

“Hey, Gena,” I attempt a smile.

Zack doesn’t look entertained at all. “Look who finally decided to show up, babe.”

Gena gave me a weak smile. “Why don’t you come in?”

“No,” Zack says quickly. Gena gives him a confused look while I send him a glare. “Sheridan was just saying that she had to leave.”

“Actually,” I direct towards Zack sharply. “I would love to come in.”

Gena smiles and nods before we all enter the house. Zack's house is huge. As soon as I walk in, I notice the staircase on the right leading to upstairs. Gena walks past it and her heels click on the hardwood floor as she takes us into the sitting area. There’s a grand piano right before you enter, and a couple of couches placed oddly on the side of the room against the wall. On the opposite wall, there’s a fireplace and instead of a back wall, curtains drape down a humongous window that takes up the entire side of the room. Through the sliding glass doors, I notice an outdoor inground pool.

“Ignore the mess,” Gena says as she continues through the room. The room is immaculate, so I assume she’s talking about the oddly placed furniture. “We’re moving things around, so we can put up our Christmas tree.”

I nod even though she can’t see me and follow her down a hallway and into another opening. To my immediate left, there’s what appears to be a fully stocked bar and to my right, a pool table. Deeper into the room there’s leather chairs and couches around an entertainment center.

“This is Zack's man cave, but we can catch up in here,” Gena tells me as she walks over to the chairs. I follow her but the clinking behind me tells me Zack has stopped at the bar.

“Gena, this is a beautiful house,” I tell her as we take our seats.

“Thank you,” she smiles and looks around the room proudly. “This is our first year here. I just absolutely love it. We picked it out together, didn’t we baby?”

“Mhmm,” Zack replies, bringing his glass filled with amber liquid to his lips. He was slowly making his way over to us.

I shift uncomfortably in my seat before replying. “Well, you made a great decision.”

Zack finally reaches the couch and sits next to Gena. She scoots into him and he drapes his arm around her shoulders. “What are you doing in town, Sheridan?” Zack asks.

If I could glare at him without Gena noticing, I would have. “Well, you guys heard about, Eli, right?”

“Oh, my gosh! Yes! How crazy is that? Do they have any idea who killed him? It had to be one of the girls he abused, right?” Gena gossips.

Zack doesn’t skip a beat. “Did you do it?” His voice is casual but it doesn’t stop Gena’s eyes from nearly popping from her skull.

I scoff. “Do you really think I’m capable of something like that?”

Zack finishes off his glass of whiskey. “You’re capable of a lot more than I thought you were.”

I bite the inside of my cheek. “Yeah, well. You are too.”

Gena looks uncomfortable between us and I wish she would leave so I could talk to Zack alone but instead, she opens her mouth again. “So, are you planning on moving back?”

I shake my head. “No. I’m living with someone in Los Angeles.”

“Oh,” Gena said, looking slightly relieved. “So, you’re dating someone, then?”

I thought I saw Zack, who was staring at his fingers tapping on his glass, inch his head up at
Gena’s words. “No,” I reply. “I’m living with a friend. How about you guys? How long have you been dating?” I honestly didn’t care. I didn’t even want to know, but I wanted the attention off me.

Gina grins. “We started officially around when they started recording their first record…but our first date was this concert Zack took me to! We went and saw NOFX in…I think it was in June after graduation. It was amazing.”

I clench my teeth and dart my eyes to Zack. He’s looking at me already, but I can’t read his face. We stare at each other for a moment before he decides on what to say. “So, have the police questioned you yet?”

I scoff. So, he was just going to change the subject instead of explaining himself? “Questioned me about what, Zack?” I asked impatiently.

“Well, I mean, you disappear after the death of your mother and then you just happen to show back up after the death of your brother? If I were the police, I think I’d be investigating you as a suspect in both deaths,” Zack said, getting up from the couch and walking back to the bar. He begins to pour another drink.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I ask, just as Gena says, “Zack!”

Zack swallows a mouthful of whiskey and fills his glass back up before replying. “I didn’t say you did it. I’m just saying, it seems a little suspicious.”

“My mom died in the car accident. There was nothing to investigate. You were fucking there,” I hiss.

Zack shrugs. He doesn’t make his way back over to Gena and me; instead, he leans against the bar. “True but it does seem suspicious with Eli. I mean, maybe it’s because I know the type of asshole he was, and I know about everything he did to you, so I know you have a motive. I’m just saying if I was a cop you’d be in handcuffs.”

“Hey, so I have to get going,” Gena speaks up, standing. “I forgot I have that hair appointment.”

“Okay?” Zack replies, not even attempting to hide the fact that he doesn’t care at all.

I feel Gena’s eyes on me, but I don’t stop glaring at Zack. After a moment, she takes a deep breath and walks across the room to the bar. She kisses him on the lips and it makes my stomach to hurt, so I look away. I don’t turn my attention back to Zack until after they’ve exchanged their I love you’s and I hear Gena’s heels click against the floor again. When I do look back at him, he’s finishing off his whiskey.

I get up from the couch and walk over to the bar. Without saying a word to Zack, I grab a glass and fill it with tequila. I take a large gulp, slightly shuddering at the taste and burn as it settles into my stomach.

“I was questioned by the police,” I admit. “Before I met with the coroner I had to speak with the police for a couple of hours. I was working the night Eli died so I have an alibi and was cleared.” I tried to keep my voice as calm as possible. Gena was finally gone, and I could talk to Zack about the things I wanted to talk to him about. I didn’t want to spend the entire time arguing.

Zack, on the other hand, apparently did want to argue. “Bummer.”

I try to keep my mouth shut but fail. “What the fuck is your problem, Zack? You know I’m not a bad person! You know I didn’t kill Eli so what’s with the third degree? I get that you’re pissed off at me but can we please just talk it out like we used to be able to? Can we please just hear me out without being pissy or arguing?”

Zack swirls the liquor in his glass and stares at it. He takes a deep breath and lets it out sharply. “Fine,” he said. “Let’s talk.”

Notes

Looks like Zack might get some more answers in the next chapter! Thank you so much for reading!

Thank you Holly for commenting on the previous chapter!

Title credit: Avenged Sevenfold “Turn the Other Way”