I’m awoken with hands searching my body. I feel numb from the heavy drinking and sleeping but lips find their way on my neck which wakes me up further. I open my eyes to come face to face with Eli; I try to push him off but he’s heavy on top of me.

“Stop,” I mumble. My lips are heavy, and it doesn’t come out completely. Eli’s hands find my thigh and he grips them, as his other hand pulls my shirt down and he kisses my breast.

This is just a dream – it’s a dream. Eli’s gone, and this is a dream. “Stop,” I say a little louder, this time it comes out. “Stop! Get off of me! Get off of me! Stop!” I’m yelling now.

Eli finally pulls his mouth away from my body, but then he’s gone. I hear a loud thump followed by a cry out of pain.

“What the fuck is going on?” Matt asks, standing in the hallway half naked with an exhausted look on his face.

Reality falls down on me in a crushing instant. Eli isn’t here, Eli isn’t the one that Matt pulled into the floor. “Zack?” I ask, “Oh my God.”

Zack is getting to his feet, rubbing his head. “What the fuck, Sheridan?”

“I’m so sorry! I thought…” I start but Zack doesn’t want to hear it. He grabs his pillow from beside me and heads towards the front of the bus, leaving Matt and myself in the hall together.

“I’m going back to bed,” Matt mumbles, crawling back into his bunk.

I slide off the bunk and head towards the front of the bus where Zack is. He’s sitting on the couch, the pillow next to him and he has his head in his hands. I quietly approach him and kneel down in front of him. “Zack. I am so sorry.”

“What the fuck was that, Sheridan?” Zack asks angrily.

I shake my head. “I’m sorry. I was having a…a flashback or an episode. I thought you were Eli!”

“Eli?” Zack scoffs. “We get into one fight and you start comparing me to Eli?”

“No! It’s not like that!” I cry. “Zack, please try to understand. I know you’re angry right now and probably embarrassed that I acted like that, but I swear, it had nothing to do with you.”

Zack inhales deeply and then lets it out sharply. “You’ve never had an episode like that before.”

“I know,” I tell him, finding his hand with mine. “Random things just trigger me sometimes.”

“Okay,” he says. “I understand. I’m sorry.”

I shake my head. “You have nothing to be sorry about. Really, Z, like you said. It’s never happened before, you couldn’t have known.” Zack nods but doesn’t reply. I shift to get a better look at his face. “Hey, where’d you go tonight?”

Zack shakes his head. “I just needed to clear my head, after our fight – after finding out that we were in the close proximity of each other again and you failed to say anything. I went to a bar.”

“You worried us…me,” I tell him.

Zack rolls his eyes. “I’m a grown man, Sheridan. I don’t owe you an explanation every time I leave.”

“Zack,” I sigh. “That’s not what I’m saying. Please, I don’t want to fight with you.”

“I don’t want to fight either. I’m drunk and…exhausted.”

“We’ll talk about things tomorrow, right?” I ask, and he nods. I slowly stand up and offer him my hand. “Will you come to bed?”

Zack lays down on the couch, ignoring my hand. “I’m just going to crash here tonight.”

I frown and try to ignore the sad feeling in my chest as Zack turns his back to me. I stand there for a moment, silently before heading back to our bunk. Tears beg to fall as I get comfortable, but I refuse to let it happen – there was no way I was going to have puffy eyes in the morning. I brush the feeling of loneliness away and slowly begin to drift off to sleep…

Before I get too deep in a slumber I feel a slight weight in the bed behind me, followed by a heavier weight. The faint scent of Zack's cologne, cigarettes and liquor comforts me as I feel Zack snuggle into the bed. He wraps his arm around me tightly and presses his lips against my shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles against my skin. “I love you.”

I lay there for a moment in silence, before replying. “I love you, too.”

The next couple of weeks drag by. Things are tense between myself and Zack, but it’s not completely unbearable. Every concert is great – I think the crowd gets bigger with every city. After every show, the entire gang gets together and drinks and parties until the sun comes up. It’s exhausting and exhilarating.

The guys have the next two days off so we’re taking the party to a hotel room in New York. The guys booked a whole floor for everyone and it is immediately party central. Some of the people from the last show were invited and the entire floor is packed with people.

Zack has a cigarette in between his lips and a can of beer in his hand. I make my way through the crowded room and head towards him. As always, I pluck the cigarette from between his lips and stick it between mine.

Zack smiles down at me. “Hey, you.”

I smile back and take a drag before kissing him. “Who are your friends?”

A girl with long blonde hair and another with shorter, black hair stand in front of Zack, grinning at him. “This is Serena and Natasha,” Zack tells me, wrapping his arm around my waist. “They were at the show. Ladies, this is my girlfriend, Sheridan.”

“Hi,” they say in unison, smiling sweetly.

“It’s nice to meet you guys,” I tell them, then I turn my attention back to Zack. “Jimmy and some others are about to go down to the pool. Do you want to come?”

Zack shakes his head. “Nah, I’m not really feeling the pool tonight. Go ahead and have fun, though.”

“Okay,” I smile, pecking him on the lips before walking away.

I’m not surprised. After all, the more time Zack and I spend together the more we fight so we only spend small amounts of time together at a time. I head to our room and unlock the door. We’re sharing a room with Matt, but he’s not here. My bag sits at the end of the bed. Most of my belongings are still on the bus, but I brought in my essentials, a few clothes, and my bikini. In the next couple of minutes, I’m changed and pulling as much of my short hair as I can into a ponytail. I slip on a pair of flip-flops and head out the door.

As soon as I exit, there’s a loud whistle. “Damn, Sheridan! You’re looking good!!”

“Jimmy!” I laugh, slapping him on the arm. “Are you ready? Where are the others?”

“There already down there! Is Zack coming?” Jimmy asks.
I shake my head. “No, he…”

Before I can get anything else out, Jimmy picks me up and throws me over his shoulder. He ignores my shriek of surprise as he begins to run down the hall and to the elevator. Once the doors ding and he steps in, he put me down, grinning like an idiot, and presses the button I assume the pool is on.

“Are you ready for the super-secret group?” Jimmy asks mysteriously.

“Super-secret?” I laugh.

Jimmy wiggles his eyebrows. At that moment, the elevator doors open, revealing the pool. A couple of dozen people are already down here, and there’s music coming from someone’s iPod connected to a speaker.

“Doesn’t look super-secret to me,” I grin, stepping out of the elevator.

Jimmy shrugs. “Asshole’s don’t know how to keep secrets,” he laughs.

I laugh, too, and head deeper into the room. I’m heading for the alcohol when, once again, my feet leave the ground. “Jimmy!” I yell, but he ignores me. He throws me as hard as he can into the pool

The water is cool against my body. I hear another loud splash as I begin to kick my legs and gasp for air when I reach the surface. Jimmy’s head is already above the water and he’s laughing like a maniac.

“Jimmy, I can’t believe you did that!” I laugh, wiping water and hair from my eyes. The rubberband from my hair floats in the water next to me.

“I don’t know why! We’re at the pool! You should have expected to get wet!”

I give him a look. “I wanted a drink first.”

“Aye! Dude in the bright green shorts!” Jimmy yells. A guy standing next to a table with beers on them looks at Jimmy with wide eyes. “Yeah, you! Can you throw us a couple of those beers?”

The guy hesitantly grabs two beers and walks over to the pool’s edge before handing them to us. “Thank you,” I say, holding back a laugh. The guy nods, giving me a faint smile before walking away quickly. “Jimmy! That was rude!” I laugh, splashing him slightly.

Jimmy laughs and opens his beer. “I got you your beer though, didn’t I?”

We stay in the pool so long our fingers look like raisins. I’ve had so many beers I’m feeling a bit drunk but I still raise the bottle to my lips when Jimmy hands me another full one. “Are you trying to get me drunk, James?” I tease.

Jimmy smiles. “Yes,” he shrugs. “You have to loosen up. You’re too tense all the time.”

I laugh. “I am not.”

“Are too,” he tells me. “And you’re making my guitarist tense.”

I scoff, grinning. “I am not!”

Jimmy raises his brow. “You and he haven’t been on the best of terms the last couple of weeks.”

“Okay, true,” I tell him taking another drink of my beer.

Jimmy takes a swallow of his own bottle. “Why is that?”

I shrug, playing with the water around me. “I fucked a lot of shit up when I left and he hasn’t quite forgiven me yet. He’s tried but…I can tell he hasn’t forgiven me completely. And these secrets keep coming out just as things seem to start going back to normal and it’s like we have to start all over.”

“Secrets?” Jimmy asks.

I sigh. “Okay, maybe not exactly secrets because it’s not like I’m trying to keep anything from him. It’s just…I was gone for years. I can’t possibly tell him everything that has happened.”

“You’re right,” Jimmy tells him. “But not everything you did affects him. Maybe just tell him about the things that would. Get it all out of the way so nothing else comes up later down the line.”

“Jimmy…” I start, shaking my head.

“I’m just saying,” he tells me. “Maybe you can even have angry sex afterward.”

“Oh my God,” I laugh.

“Just go talk to him,” Jimmy says, finishing his beer. “I need my guitarist happy again.”

“Right now?” I ask.

Jimmy nods. “Maybe the alcohol will help the situation. Or it’ll work as liquid courage.”

I groan. “Alright, fine.” I don’t move for a long moment, hoping Jimmy would talk me out of it but he doesn’t. Without another word, I pull myself up on the edge of the pool and climb out.

I’m not sure if I have anything else to tell Zack. I didn’t go to any more shows or secretly see him without him knowing. There were no more secrets, but I still wanted to try to make things right with Zack, I wanted the tension to melt away.

The towel around my wet body isn’t enough to keep me warm, so I hurry to our room. I’ll change first and then find Zack, so we could talk. The party is still going strong and the hallway is crowded. I eventually find our room and open the door, desperate to get away from the air conditioner and into dry clothes. The room, however, is occupied. In the bed, there are three naked bodies. Zack is tangled with the two fans I left him with earlier.

“Oh, my God.” The words are out of my mouth before my brain fully comprehends what’s going on. Zack pulls his mouth away from the blonde’s neck as the brunette removes her mouth from his dick.

“Fuck,” he curses. “Sheridan –” I turn and start heading out of the room. “Sheridan!” I hear him call me.

I race to the nearest elevator and press the button. Thankfully it’s already on the floor so the doors immediately open. I step in and press the lobby button repeatedly until the doors close and the elevator begins to move. I no longer feel the coolness of the air on my wet skin, but instead, my eyes begin to burn. I take a deep breath, blinking back the tears and wipe my face dry from the ones that already fell on my face.

This couldn’t be happening. I didn’t see what I thought I just saw, there is no way. My feet start moving as soon as the elevator doors open. I'm not sure where I'm going, but I walk through the lobby and out of the hotel.

The tour bus is in the very back of the parking lot. I’m halfway to it when I hear my name being called again. I turn around and see Zack following me. I know there’s nowhere I can go, I know I’ll have to face him eventually but still, I pick up the pace to the bus. Once there, I enter the code on the door and it unlocks.

I’ve just finished changing when I hear the locks disengage and Zack steps onto the bus. I don’t look at him – I can’t. Instead, I start shoving my clothes into my duffel bag. Zack doesn’t say anything for a moment, he just stands there watching me intently.

“Sheridan,” he starts, “I’m sorry.”

I shake my head. “I can’t deal with this, Zack. I don’t even know what to say to you.”

“Sheridan…”

“No, Zack! I can’t believe you! I can’t believe you’d cheat on me! Gena was right all along.”

“Gena?” Zack scoffs.

I finish stuffing my bag and for the first time, look at him. “Yes, Zack. Gena – she said this would happen. She said you were in the habit of cheating and I thought it was just because you were unhappy with her. Maybe it’s just who you are now.”

“Or maybe I’m just as unhappy with you,” he shoots.

“Well, maybe that’s true Zack and I’m sorry that we haven’t been on great terms. That does not give you the right to cheat on me!”

“I’m sorry!” Zack yells obnoxiously.

I roll my eyes. “Sorry isn’t going to fix anything, Zack.”

Zack groans. “Sheridan, I’m too drunk to deal with this right now. Can we please just skip to the part where you forgive me? We know it’s going to happen.”

I laugh dryly. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Oh, come on, Sheridan. We both know how desperate you are to be with me.”

“Desperate?” I scoff.

Zack gives me a look. “Yeah. You come back out of nowhere as soon as I’ve seen success; cry about how bad you’ve had it for the last few years – about sucking dick for money,” he laughs, shaking his head. “You gave me this sob story so I would let you in, give you my money and –”

I slap Zack as hard as I can. My hand stings but I barely notice it as I raise my hand to slap him again. This time, Zack catches my wrist before my hand can make contact.

He stares at me for a moment. “Don’t ever try that again,” he tells me through gritted teeth.

I yank my hand away from him, blinking back tears that begged to fall. “Get the fuck away from me, Zack.”

“Well, am I lying?” he asks. “Tell me you didn’t come back because you knew that I had money!”

“I didn’t!” I yell, but he doesn’t hear me.

“Tell me you didn’t change your last name to Baker because you were so desperate to be with me? Well, I’ve got news for you, Sherdian – you will never truly have my last name, do you understand?” His eyes are dark as his spits his venom.

I turn away from him because I can’t stop the tears from falling. They are just words, but they still hurt. I feel my heart break and my chest caves in. I take a couple of seconds to compose myself before speaking. “What happened to you?” I ask him quietly.

“What do you mean?” he asks impatiently.

“You used to protect me. You used to sit outside my bedroom window and watch over me. What happened to that guy?”

“I’m not that guy anymore,” he tells me bluntly. “Just like you’re not that girl anymore.”

Finally, I turn to face him. “You’re right,” I tell him. “I have to go.” I grab my duffel bag and push past him.

“Where are you going?” he asks me. “It’s the middle of the night.”

I shake my head and grip the handle on the door. “Anywhere is better than here.”

Notes

Thank you so much for reading. I didn't realize this until I was halfway finished with this chapter, but Changed by You has come to an end earlier than I anticipated. This would be the last chapter, but I have some loose ends I need to tie up to set up the sequel so there will be one more chapter left.

Thank you vengenz61, Kimmie and overneaththepathofmisery for commenting.

Title credit: A Day to Remember "Mr. Highway's Thinking About the End"