Anger

Zack looked down at his sleeping wife. She looked small in the big hotel bed. He looked around the room. To be honest, they both looked ridiculous in this over the top hotel room. He’d thought it would be good for them, he’d thought they would have something to feel happy about. That is why he arranged an upgrade on the room that Johnny had booked for them. But now it all seemed silly.

He sat down on the bed carefully, his hands reaching out to touch the hair on Mia’s head, but thought better of it. He didn’t want to wake her, she must be exhausted. The traces of her constant crying still on her cheeks. Even now she was sleeping he could see the sadness on her face and he couldn’t stand it. He had promised to take care of her, to make her happy and he was miserably failing.

Zack laid his body down, almost afraid to touch Mia, but quickly deciding that holding her was the most important thing. He needed her to feel loved, he needed her to make him feel better too. He needed her. Period.

He wrapped his arm around her and moved closer. With a deep sigh he felt his eyes fall close, this trip had sounded so promising a few months ago…

“Why did you drag us all here, Christ? We were all here this morning. If you had something to say to us, you should have done it then” Zack groaned as he settled on Matt’s couch. Johnny had send everyone a text just half an hour after they had parted that late morning. They had breakfast with all 8 of them, like they did every week. The text was telling them they needed to be at Matt’s at 8. Matt was quick with his reply, telling him to fuck off and not always use his house for shit like this.

But good boys as they were, they were all here at 8, and brought the wives. Like Johnny instructed.

“Are you finally leaving the band? We have waited for it for such a long time” Brian snickered. “Oh no, I can’t go through that again” Matt groaned. They had been through that just recently, when they had decided to let Arin go. And they didn’t handle it very well.

Johnny didn’t say a thing, and just stared at the floor while he waited for his friends to settle down. Mia was the first to notice their friend was behaving odd. “Johnny? Is everything okay?” she wanted to get up to get closer to him, but Johnny motioned for her to stay where she was.

“Please, just sit down. Yes. I’m okay. But thanks for wanting me out of the band Haner”
“All out of love, all out of love!” Brian stood up to hand out some hand kisses, but was quickly pulled down by Tammy, who also noticed Johnny needing more than fucking around today.

That seemed to get Johnny going. “I have to tell you guys something”
“Is Nessa okay?” Izzie let out worried.
“Yes! Would you all just shut the fuck up and let me talk for a second?!”
Everyone of them held their hands up in defense, motioning Johnny to finally continue.

“I’m going to ask Nessa to marry me” He looked at his friends straight. There was no doubt in his mind on the decision he made, but it was a big decision, so he couldn’t help a little blush creeping over his face anyway.
“Oh Johnny! That’s amazing! Congratulations!” Different remarks and compliments came from everyone in the room. Mia flew over to Johnny to hug him, before she sat down next to Zack again.
“She hasn’t said yes yet” Johnny smirked, the smile on his face getting wider and wider. He had known he wanted to marry her from day 1, but Nessa had needed some time to get used to him. Now they were together for almost a year, he figured the time had come.

“Now you want us to help you put together a proposal?” Izzie glowed, all excited to organize something romantic.
“No. I already have the proposal planned.” The men looked at him in surprise.
“How long have you been planning this?” Matt asked a smile on his face, happy his friend was this enthusiastic.

“For a few months, it needed time. Nessa needed time”

While Johnny told them about his plan to take Nessa to Hawaii for their first year anniversary, Mia sat a little closer to Zack. “This is so romantic” she whispered, not wanting to interrupt Johnny “I’m so happy for them”. Zack let out a small laugh “And to think you didn’t even want them together in the first place”
Mia playfully pushed Zack away but smiled. Zack was right, but so was Izzie. She had to know better than to doubt her best friend. Somehow the woman knew what she did.

Johnny had come to the point that was important for all of them “I want you all there. You guys are my family and I want to celebrate with you guys when she says yes. And let’s be honest, you had a big part in all of this. Some of you more than others” He looked at Izzie pointedly and she responded by sticking out her tongue to him.

“Aloha Hawaii! I’m always up for a trip!” Brian let out excitedly
“Good, cause I already booked all of you rooms. One of you needs to take the ring with you. I’m way too scared Nessa will find it beforehand.”

He put his hand in his pant pocket and took out a small box. The women immediately hovered over him and pushed him to show the ring. Johnny showed it with a big grin and it quickly got the approval of all three of them. Then he closed the box again and turned to Zack.
“I want you to take it, I only trust you to take it there safely”
“What the fuck!?!” Brian and Matt let out offended.

“You” Johnny pointed at Brian “could lose your car, house or even wife” he shot a look at Tammy who seemed to think about it for a minute and then nodded.
“And you” now it was Matt’s turn “have a wife that can’t keep a secret!”

Now it was Izzie’s turn to be offended and Matt couldn’t hold in the chuckle, happy he wasn’t the reason he wasn’t going to be the ringkeeper.
“That’s not fair!” Izzie said. Johnny turned to her and kissed her cheek “You know I love you, but I am sure you would show Nessa the ring. I just really hope you can keep your mouth shut. Please. I’m begging you.” Izzie nodded and whispered a yes.

After the specifics were discussed, every single one of them hugged Johnny to congratulate him on his huge but great decision and went home.

In the Baker home the atmosphere had become more serious quickly.

Zack was sketching on his notepad when Mia came outside and settled next to him.
“You know, that great fertility doctor we googled a few weeks ago also has a practice in Hawaii.” She sounded hesitant, and insecure. Zack pulled her close and held her, afraid this would ruin their day, make Mia sad again.
“We could try and get an appointment if we are already there anyway”
“Are you sure you want to do it? Are you sure you can handle it?” He put his finger under her chin and forced her to look up to him.
“One last appointment Zack, I promise I will stop afterwards” the sadness in her eyes was killing him. He hated to see her like that. But maybe the second opinion of this doctor would tell them something new, something good.

Now he wished they hadn’t done it. The doctor hadn’t given them good news, it had been worse even. And now his wife was broken. And he was scared that this time, he wouldn’t be able to fix her.

The little nap didn’t change a thing. As soon as they had woken up, Mia had started crying again. Silent tears streaming down her face. She wrestled herself out of his arms and headed for the bathroom, closing the door in his face. That was where he stayed, while he heard her start the shower. He was still there when he heard her turn down the shower again.

When she finally came out, for Zack it felt like it had been an hour. He couldn’t stand not being close to her, so he walked up behind her while she put on her dress. He let the tips of his fingers go over his shoulders and kissed her neck.

“Zack, please don’t, we need to get ready” she tried to step away from him, but he grabbed her hips.
“Mia, please. Just…. Just let me hold you, just for a minute, please” he turned her around to face him and softly kissed her lips. When they parted he looked into her eyes deeply “I love you so much. We will get through this, we will find a way. We are not out of options, we could-“
“No. Don’t get into this. Not now. I need to stop crying and get my smile on. We are not to speak of this”
“But-“ Zack started.
“No.” With that answer Mia broke of Zack’s sentence. His plea to discuss their options was meeting deaf ears. Mia had decided.

He quickly changed and watched his wife as she was brushing her hair with attentive strokes, how she carefully put on her make-up and finished up by adding the jewelry to her outfit. The jewelry he had bought for her, every time he came back from tour. Piece by piece he made sure she got the collection she deserved.

Mia nodded at herself in the mirror and walked for the door. Her hand on the doorknob she turned to Zack. “You ready to go?”

Zack was still standing in the middle of the room, staring at her. She saw the pain in his eyes, knowing that he was hurt too, but she was too torn up herself to attend to his needs. She knew it was selfish, she knew she would regret it the next day, but it was all she could work up now. Their friend needed them. Johnny needed them to bring their happiest faces and she couldn’t do that if she took in Zack’s pain on top of her own.

He finally got into motion and made his way over to her, his mouth again opening to say something to her. But instead of words coming out, he closed it again, and only grabbed her hand to lead her out. The hallway was quiet, not a sound, not a single person there. Just before the elevator reached the ground floor Mia heard Zack’s voice “If you don’t want to talk to me, I can understand, but please talk to Izzie, talk to your best friend. You can’t keep this all to yourself. It’s too much”

Mia didn’t have any chance to answer, because the elevator had reached the bottom floor. But she wouldn’t have known what to say anyway. She wasn’t ready to talk to Zack, she definitely wasn’t ready to talk to Izzie. She didn’t want to talk to anyone. She needed to get through this night, and then… then she had time to break down.

Brian and Tammy were already waiting in the lobby and the next elevator revealed a heavily kissing Matt and Izzie. They both only giggled when they noticed the others in the lobby before they stepped out and started kissing again.
“Seriously, you’ve got company, cut it out!” Zack groaned and Mia squeezed his hand to stop him from getting really angry. They did stop, but had the most ridiculous smiles on their faces.
“You guys fucked all afternoon or something?!” Brian noticed the weird behavior too, but they didn’t have time to discuss the subject further. Johnny came into the lobby and walked over to them quickly.

“Where have you been!?” he addressed Zack. Zack looked uncomfortable and Mia was scared he would spill it all anyway, but then he bend his head “We had some things to do, but we are here now, aren’t we? Right in time”
“Yes. Okay. But..” Johnny started, but Mia interrupted him
“I think we need to leave, J.” Her voice reflected her feelings perfectly and she could see Johnny eyeing her, he raised his brow. Mia ignored him completely, she knew he would notice. Johnny had always been extra attuned to her. There was no way she was going to ruin his moment though.

Mia was saved by the figurative bell when they were called for the drive to the beach. When they arrived she was amazed by the set up, just like it amazed everyone and she couldn’t help but let out a small smile. The little man did great.

Even their hide out place was great. Jonny had arranged everything in detail, not only his proposal, but also the care for his friends. The 6 of them were hanging out. They ate the food that had been set out for them, took on light conversation and bullshitted around. All while one of them held one eye on the Johnny situation, to make sure they would be there at the right time.

Izzie had moved closer to Mia, eager to talk to her best friend. Izzie was so full of her own emotions; she was completely oblivious to her best friend’s.
“Mia, I need to tell you something. I really shouldn’t yet, but I need to tell someone and you are my best friend” Izzie leaned her head on Mia’s shoulder and was about to say something when Brian motioned them over “It’s time!”

They stood at the side, watching Johnny declare his love to Nessa, the women swooning over his sweet words, the men proud that their friend had come this far.

“Nessa, my one and only love” Nessa got a small smile on her face, she loved it when he called him that. “You came in my life a little over a year ago and I can’t even imagine my life before you anymore. I thought I would never meet anyone anymore. I didn’t expect to find you. I’m so happy I did though. You know I love you, you know you restored all my faith in mankind again, you are my own lucky charm.”

That was their cue, and they walked up to Johnny and Nessa.


Mia was touched by the situation in front of her, as she watched Johnny give her the flower. She heard him do the perfect proposal and couldn’t help the tears streaming down her face. Nessa and Johnny had everything in ahead of them, the wedding preparations, the honeymoon, the kids… she couldn’t help but cry more. Zack pulled her close after he handed Johnny the ring and kissed the top of her head.
“It’s going to be okay, I promise” she heard Zack whisper in her hair. He was sweet for trying, but they both knew the truth, none of it would be okay.

Mia got her attention back to the scene in front of her, just in time to hear Johnny speak the line of words this whole night about “Would you please be my wife?” Mia held her breath, waiting for Nessa’s answer, but it didn’t came. Mia’s heart stood still for Johnny, this couldn’t be happening.
“So? Would you?” Johnny’s face washed with fear, but this time Nessa answered

“Yes! Yes! Yes! 1000 times yes! I love you!” Nessa slung her arms around Johnny’s neck and kissed him. Mia let out a sigh of relieve and joined the others in applauding for the newly engaged couple. They came closer to see Johnny put the ring on Nessa’s finger, both of them smiling so widely the smiles were almost too big for their faces.

When Mia came to Johnny to congratulate him, he held her close, feeling she could use the extra hug. Mia was still crying and Johnny didn’t have a good feeling about this.
“Mia, what is wrong?”
“Nothing” she sobbed “I’m just so happy for you guys” Mia tried to force a smile, hoping she would convince Johnny, or at least distract him long enough to let it go. Lucky for her, Nessa called Johnny over.

Mia watched the two of them fall into each other’s arms, smiling through her tears. A small party slowly unfolded and everyone was gathering around the drinks. Mia took that moment of her being alone to take a few deep breaths and getting into the moment. She really was happy for Johnny. Him and Nessa were perfect for each other. This was a time for party and she would. Tomorrow she could worry again, but tonight was all about celebrating Johnny and Nessa’s engagement.

Mia looked over to the bar and saw Zack looking at her. She gave him a smile and received one back from her husband. She would give him a nice night, he deserved that after taking care of her today. He must be hurt too, but all he did was tend to her needs. She knew he was aware of the fact that she loved him, but maybe it was time to tell him again, he deserved it.

Just as she was about to make her way over, she was grabbed by her arm by Izzie.
“Mia, wait! I finally have you alone. I can’t hold it in anymore.” Mia looked at her best friend in question, what the hell was going on? Izzie pulled Mia away from the group a little more and held both her hands as she stood opposite of Mia.

Mia noticed the change in her best friend, the healthy blush on her face, the twinkle in her eyes. And just as Izzie spoke the words excitedly, Mia had figured it out by herself. There could only be one thing. The one thing Mia really didn’t want to hear today, not from her best friend, not from anyone.

“I’m pregnant! Matt and I did 3 tests this morning. I’m fucking pregnant, Mia!”

Mia feigned enthusiasm for her friend, but couldn’t help but wonder how the hell she would survive the coming months.

Notes

So! New story from me!
I hope you guys are gonna enjoy it, even though the start is pretty sad.

Please also read the first part of this series if you haven't yet: Denial, to see how Johnny and Nessa, Zack and Mia, Matt and Izzie and Brian and Tammy have come to this point :)