So Far Away

“Do I have to go?” I knew I was whining, but the prospect of being stuck in Matt’s house for god knows how long was not exactly tempting.

“Yes, you do. Everyone will be there plus we’re off to Hawaii tomorrow we need to tire ourselves out so we can sleep the whole flight over.”

I disappeared into the bathroom with the outfit I had chosen, grumbling because I knew he’d never let me out of this. I just needed to suck it up for a few hours then I could be back home getting some beauty sleep.

The party was already in full swing when we arrived. The Berry’s were playing an intense game of beer pong against Brian and Johnny. They called Zack over and he left me without so much as a glance in my direction. Rolling my eyes, I headed for the kitchen where I would no doubt find copious amounts of liquor and beer. When the kitchen door swung closed behind me I realized it muffled the sounds from the living room quite a bit and contemplated spending the duration of the party in here until I noticed Matt leaning against the counter.

“Let me guess, you’ve come to grant me forgiveness?” Matt asked with a smirk on his lips.

“Not a chance.” I grabbed the bottle of Jack Daniels and took a swig straight from the bottle before pouring some into a plastic cup and mixing in some coke from the bottle that set next to it on the counter.

A sudden exasperated scream and the roar of cheers arose from the living room and Matt pushed past me to see what all the commotion was about. The Berry’s had just lost the beer pong game. Brian and Johnny high fived each other before Johnny disappeared after proclaiming that he had to take a piss. Matt stepped forward to take his place. “Zack and Jerrika, go against us?”

I opened my mouth to protest but Zack cut in. “Hell yeah.” He started setting up the cups of beer on our end of the table and slid the paddle over to me. “Ladies first.” He winked which made me smile and I took aim at the other team’s cups, managing to land a perfect shot on my first time.

The game was dead even and continued until both sides were down to just one cup and it was my turn again. I took my time aiming, trying desperately to ignore the taunts from the other end of the table. I was finding it harder to focus after the liquor and so many cups of beer but I was determined to win this.

I finally let the ball fly and watched with satisfaction as it sailed right into the remaining cup. “No fucking way!” Brian yelled as Matt chugged the last beer.

Zack picked me up off my feet and spun me around several times while we both cheered. It felt good to win and wipe that smug smile off Matt’s face. I headed back into the kitchen to make a celebratory cup of delicious jack and coke. When I was headed back to the living room, I overheard voices from outside. I snuck up to it and listened. It was Matt and Zack.

“So are you and Jerrika like together now or something?” Matt asked in a hushed tone.

“No, dude, it’s just sex and she’s already expressed that she doesn’t want it to continue.”

I burst out through the door. “Why do think it’s any of your business if we’re together or not?” I stumbled, clearly more drunk than I realized, as I stepped toward Matt. Zack put his hand on my arm to steady me.

“Hey I was just wondering.”

“Well stop wondering.”

“I need a drink,” Zack said with a sigh. As he walked off I could’ve swore I heard him mutter something about sexual tension. What the fuck was that about?

“Look if you’re just out here to be a bitch, I’ll go back inside. I’ve been honest with you and I’m doing everything I can to help us become civil towards each other but it’s getting tiring.”

“Well maybe it would be easier if you weren’t such an asshole all the time.”

“That goes both ways,” he muttered before chugging the rest of whatever liquid was in his cup and going back inside leaving me standing on the back lawn alone.

I pulled out my phone and called a cab, not in a partying mood anymore. I couldn’t wait to get a break from reality for the week we’d be gone to Hawaii. It couldn't have come at a better time, adjusting to life here in Huntington Beach again was turning out to be harder than I'd expected.


Zack’s POV

“I don’t know dude. I’m giving this everything I’ve got but she just won’t come around.” I watched as Matt’s character on the screen got shot in the back, causing him to toss the controller next to him on the couch with a sigh. The party guests had long since disappeared, leaving just Matt and I.

“It’s not exactly surprising. You fucked up royally.”

“You’re not gonna punch me again, are you?”

I threw my head back in laughter then plopped down next to him on the couch, picking up the spare controller. “No, but I can’t promise I won’t shoot you a few times.”

Matt got us into a new game and despite my best efforts, he completely destroyed me. It was to be expected, sometimes he didn’t pull his eyes away from the screen for hours at a time.

“Can I ask you something?” I asked casually, even though I had been dying to ask him this question for a while. Matt nodded. “Why is it so important that she forgives you?”

He hesitated for just a second but it was long enough to confirm my suspicions. “It’s just weird for someone who used to be such a good friend to not speak to me anymore.”

“Or it’s weird for someone you used to have a hardcore crush on to not speak to you anymore?”

“You’re wrong.” If I hadn’t already know he was lying, the way his eyes darted around nervously refusing to focus on me would have given it away.

“No I’m not and we both know it. Why won’t you just admit it?”

“Because it makes me a horrible person. Jimmy was one of my best fucking friends, I can’t have feelings for the woman he loved.”

“But you do.”

“Yes, I do.” He sighed in defeat. “I wish I didn’t, but I do and I don’t know what to do about it.”

I leaned back into the cushions, feeling successful that I managed to get him to admit it but wondering what to actually do with the information. How could I make her see that he genuinely felt bad about what he did and wanted her to forgive him for an entirely different reason than she thought. If only I could find a way to force them together where she couldn't run away and had to hear him out...wait a minute, that's it! “I have an idea but you’d have to act fast.” I explained my plan to him quickly and he agreed it could work.

“Zack, I can’t act on these feelings. How could I ever claim to have been Jimmy’s friend if I do this? He would hate me for it.”

“Jimmy could never hate anyone. He’d want you to be happy no matter what, Jerrika too.”

“But what about you and her?”

“There’s nothing real there, seriously it’s just sex. Now stop trying to make excuses. Are you doing this or not?”

He was silent for a few moments before suddenly jumping to his feet. “Okay, let’s do this.”

Notes