So Far Away

“Zack we really need to talk about last night.” I brought my coffee mug up to my lips, watching him over the rim.

“It was just sex, it doesn’t have to be anything more than that.” He wasn’t exactly speaking quietly and the elderly lady at the table next to us shot him a dirty look at the word sex.

“Keep your voice down. The entire population of Huntington Beach doesn’t need to know!”

“What, embarrassed now? You’ve had your wicked way with me and now you’re just gonna toss me to the side? I feel so used!” The devilish grin on his face only widened as the lady suddenly rose from her chair and stalked off muttering under her breath. He looked so pleased with himself for scaring her off I had to roll my eyes.

“If I wasn’t embarrassed before, I definitely am now.”

“Hey, be nice!” In retaliation he swiped a piece of bacon from my plate and crammed it into his mouth.

“Dude you can’t just steal this girl’s bacon like that. I did it once and she didn’t speak to me for the next week. She takes her cured pork products very seriously,” Johnny spoke as he walked over to our table with Brian and Matt following behind him.

Matt eyed Zack and I suspiciously. “What are you two doing here together?”

“Well we just spent the entire night having insanely hot intercourse. We were both absolutely ravished and had to replenish our energy with breakfast so we can go back for round two. Why, want to join?”

“Yeah right, as if she’d have sex with you,” Brian said. I nearly spit out the mouthful of coffee I’d just taken. Zack just winked at me as the other three settled into the table next to ours.

“So how long are you in town for Jerrika?” Johnny asked.

“I’m not sure, really. My parents kept my old apartment as a place to stay when they visited the beach so I’m free to stay however long I like. I planned on catching up with everyone before going back though so another week or two at most.”

“Or you could stay here forever. We’ve all missed having you here, you know.”

“I know and I’ve missed you all too, but my life is somewhere else now.” That was a lie, I didn’t have much of a life back there. I pretty much went to work and sat at home. I had no friends there really, but there was no way I could move back here, not after Matt’s confession. No friends was better than everything always being awkward because Matt and I didn’t get along.

“We should all go hang out at the beach together just like we used to. Get too much sun, drink too much beer, and just have a damn good time,” Brian said and I smiled. That was a perfect idea.

“Brian, you’re a genius! Let’s meet up there this evening we can make a bonfire. It’ll be just like old times,” I said excitedly. “I’ve got some errands to run but I’ll see everyone there!”

-x-

Later that day, I watched Brian and Johnny splashing each other in the water with a smile on my lips. They were just like children sometimes. I looked over and Zack to say something about them only to realize he had fallen asleep and was snoring quietly. I was very aware of the fact that I was now practically alone with Matt which was what I had been trying to avoid. I knew he’d try to talk to me and I didn’t want that.

“I’m sorry about what I did,” Matt murmured. The sigh that escaped me was the only acknowledgement I gave him. “I didn’t really get the chance to apologize after you stormed off that night.”

“Do you feel better now? Because I don’t. An apology is just words, really doesn’t mean shit.”

“I did take a punch for you too. Z actually has a pretty mean right hook.” He gestured to the bruising under his eyes and around his nose. It did give me a small bit of satisfaction even though I kinda wanted to punch him myself.

“I get that you regret it, but you did. All I want to know is why me? You could’ve gone out to a bar and hooked up with some random chick to get back at Val, why did if have to be me? You knew I was with one of your best friends.”

“I don’t know what I was thinking that night. You were just there and it happened. I couldn’t stop myself.” Something in his eyes told me he wasn’t being completely honest. What was there to lie about now?

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive you. I do know that the only way I can ever consider it is if you don’t lie anymore. I can see it all over your face, Matt, why are you still lying to me?”

“Are you fucking Zack now or something?” he suddenly asked.

“What are you talking about?”

His eyes shifted down to my chest where my v-neck shirt had shifted to reveal the mark Zack had left with his teeth. My cheeks flushed and I straightened my shirt.

“It’s not what you’re thinking.”

“Don’t try that with me. I know he stayed at your apartment last night so it’s exactly what I think.”

“I don’t have to explain myself to you. We’re not friends anymore and what I do is none of your business.”

“I just thought you’d have more respect for Jimmy than that. Come in for his funeral and screw one of his best friends on the same day. Unbelievable.” He got to his feet and walked off without another word. Well that was just great.

“That went well,” Zacky muttered as he slowly sat up.

“How much of that did you hear?”

“Enough.” He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him, his hand rubbing my shoulder soothingly. “He knows how much you loved Jimmy. Being an ass is apparently how he deals with his pain.”

“I know that’s all it is, but it’s still not easy to hear, you know? Just when I start thinking about moving back he does that and now I’m not sure.”

“You can’t let him be the deciding factor. Whatever you decide to do, don’t do it for anyone other than yourself.”

I sighed and let my head fall onto Zack’s shoulder. “You’re right and if I’m deciding off of just what I want then I guess I’m moving back. Losing Jimmy has shown be that you can’t anyone for granted. The best friends a girl could ever ask for are here and I’d be crazy to leave you all again.”

Notes