Strawberry Fields Forever

Brian Haner took a long drag of his cigarette. His expression was unreadable to Matt, who sat on the opposite side of the table, nursing a soda and feeling guilty. Brian seemed to think hard about something, and he didn't seem to like it. He looked angry, done even. Matt felt uneasy as he sat across his best friend, staring at the floor, wishing he hadn't called him earlier.

He was glad it was Monday, seeing as his boys were in kindergarten. He needed that time to himself to think about everything that happened. This curiosity about Amelie, who was much too young for him, it needed to stop. And it needed to stop now.

Finally, Brian broke the silence. “You’re meaning to tell me you almost had sex with a 20-year-old?” His jaw was clenched, and the words sounded pressed. He had to focus on not screaming at Matt, that much the hazel-eyed man was able to determine from that first sentence he spoke.

“All I’ve been telling you is that you need to,” Brian made a short pause to stress what he just said, “find someone who can fucking raise your kids with you. And I’m setting you up on countless dates,” he inhaled sharply. Matt nodded. He wanted to say something, but he didn't know what. “And then you meet a fucking teenager from Germany and all of a sudden you’re nuts about her?” Brian jumped up onto his feet, almost knocking over the table as he spoke. By now, he was screaming.

Matt debated whether or not to tell him that she wasn’t a teenager. But he had to admit she was pretty close to it. Brian wasn’t done, so he kept quiet.
“Matt,” he said with a stern glare, “you need to get your shit together. I know you have to be so much more grown up than me and the guys, but I can’t help it.” He kicked against the counter and then jumped in pain. Matt nodded. He knew that Brian was right. He should have never even invited her for dinner.

"Understood?" he whizzed through clenched teeth, "you're fucking up royally. And if it was only you I'd say you deserve it for being so stupid. But this is about the kids, too. My nephews. I'm not letting you fuck up their lives." Matt swallowed. The truth was, he wasn't thinking about the consequences the day before. Sure, if he ever started something with her, the boys would be affected... What the fuck was I thinking, his inner voice scoffed, a phrase that had been shooting through his mind almost every minute since he threw her out.

“I’m calling Michelle,” Brian announced, “she’s gonna pick up the kids and have them sleep over at our place. Dude, I think we need to get you wasted.” Matt let out a howl. He didn't think the process of drinking too much alcohol and having a mediocre night would solve a problem as complex as his. But he didn't expect Brian to understand. He was a great friend, or at least most of the time he was, but sometimes Matt just felt.... misunderstood. “Dude, weren’t you the one who just told me I needed to be grown up?”
“Trust me man, this is exactly what you need.”

And Matt couldn’t stop it. Whenever Brian Haner had his mind set on something, there was no way of avoiding it. Matt learned that pretty early, when Brian joined his band in high school and told them he wanted to put out a demo in less than six months. Five months and twenty days later, their first album, Sounding the Seventh Trumpet, was out.


A few hours later, various cars were parked all over Matt’s street and his house was loaded with people. Matt was feeling a little light-headed from the drinks Brian and his bass player, Johnny Seward, made him drink. He had no choice. They simply came around periodicallly with strong drinks and told him if he didn't drink them, they'd go to his garage and fetch the sinkhole, which Matt thought he was definitely too old for.

He sat on the couch where Amelie had lain last night, watching the people interact. It felt like he wasn't present anymore, he was totally zoned out. Johnny the dwarf talking to the other guitarist, Zack Baker, while their two girlfriends were taking double tequila shots from the kitchen island. Strangely, he felt like he didn’t belong.

As stupid as it was, he felt superior to his friends somehow. He could be responsible, even it was strange to think that of him when a party liket this was going on in his house, but he could be. After all, Brian and Zack planned it. He found partying and drinking rather dull, as well as the groupies.

Brian, of course, made sure to invite a ton of them. Matt felt disgusted by their desperate attempts to turn the guys on. Some two years ago, yeah, he might have found them attractive. Hell, he would have been with one by now.

At that point of his life that he'd reached, there were only two things he really cared for, one of them being writing music and the other caring for his kids. It would have been nice to have someone in his life. But it was either that he wasn’t fully ready or that he just hadn’t met the right one yet. He hadn’t clicked with any of the women.

Well, until Amelie came along. He took a gulp as her memory resurfaced once more, determined not to think about her anymore. It wasn't neccessarily the age, it was her leaving for Germany, or a combination of those two. He wasn't going to build up a relationship that would be over in mere months. His time was too precious to be screwing around, to that point he agreed with Brian.

“Dude,” Brian said as he slumped onto the couch next to him, “you should go for one of those girls. That way you can get that Emily girl out of your system.” Yeah, speaking of 'Matt's time is too precious to be screwing around', a quote by Brian Elwin Haner. Matt shuddered at the thought of getting with one of them. “Brian, I think I’m gonna need to pass on this one.”

“Why?” Brian didn’t get his best friend. “Look, I don’t want to,” said Matt, too tired to deal with his drunken guitarist. “Man,” Brian slurred, “live a little. You used to screw groupies all the time, even the ugly one.” Matt felt his jaw clench. A part of him wanted to punch Brian. He had to remind himself that he only wanted to help him. It was just not the right way for him.

“Listen Syn,” he said, addressing him by his stage name, Synyster Gates, “I haven’t been with a woman since Val died.” He watched as Brian’s eyes grew wide. “And you know what?” Matt hissed, growing louder now, “I fucking regret every single one of those goddamned whores!” “Matt, please,” Brian tried to calm him down, motioning to all the people staring and trying to drop in on their conversation.

Matt was whispering now, motioning for the others to mind their own business. “I had a perfect wife who would’ve done ANYTHING for me. And I betrayed her so many fucking times. It fucking hurts man. The worst thing is that Val wasn’t even the last person I slept with. It was some kind of groupie. I don’t even remember her name but she was fucking ugly and she certainly didn’t mean a thing to me. I got that call while my dick was inside her and then I left her tied to the bed. I cheated until her very last fucking day on earth.”

Brian swallowed. Without saying a word, Matt got up and headed to his bedroom. He pulled out his phone, mainly to tell Brian that they had to leave. He was surprised to see that he had a text from an unknown number. It suddenly hit him that it had to be Amelie.

The text said:

Hey Matt, I’m sorry I didn’t text you earlier. I’m sorry for drinking so much last night. I didn’t drink for almost a year and then I thought I was still used to it. I had a nice time at your house. Thank you again. Amelie


It might have been the alcohol. It might have been the anger at himself and at the world, at Brian or at God even. It might have been desire, a sign of destiny or just plain stupidity. For the rest of his life, Matt never found a plausible explanation as to why he did what he did next.

Amelie, I’m sorry but I’m having a terrible day and no-one seems to get me. Can I talk to you about something?

Her answer came less than a minute later.

I’m at the San Dean’s youth hostel on Baker St, close to the intersection with Rolington Blvd, I'll be waiting outside.

Matt grabbed a jacket, and walked out through the front door, leaving the party at his house right behind him. He didn’t think straight anymore.

Notes

WHAT DO YOU THINK IS GOING TO HAPPEN?

Thank you again so much for all the feedback I've been receiving. You truly are amazing and you make my day.

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Might not be able to update as frequently next week but I do have chapters until Chap 15 so far, so I'm hoping I'll be able to squeeze in some time just to copy and paste them onto here.
HAVE A GOOD WEEK.

Seventhtrumpet