Strawberry Fields Forever

Amelie quietly got up from the table, leaving her family members behind with Matt and his sons. She thought about his proposition. Surely she wanted to be with him, all the time if possible. But then again it felt so good to be at home with her parents, to be in the country she adored, to have Shiba and to see her grandma regularly.

Was it enough to see him every few months? Certainly. Did she want more than that? Well, too. In her grandma’s old but well-kept entrance room right next to the kitchen, she let herself sink onto the wooden chest where her grandma kept the winter scarfs and hats. Her head was spinning.

The cake was amazing, but now she felt the unfamiliar acid reflux from the morning in California again, making her throat burn. She suddenly realized she had to throw up again, so she raced to grandma’s bathroom. Amelie arrived not one second too early. Immediately, she bowed over the porcelain bowl and emptied her bowels in it. The good cake…

What is wrong with me, she wondered as she splashed cold water onto her pale white face. She always loved her grandma’s sink, which looked like a thousand little colorful pebbles had been doused with a clear liquid that hardened later. It calmed her down a little bit to look at it, and to determine all the pebbles’ exact forms.

“Amelie Schatz, are you alright?” her mom’s voice sounded through the door. Just in that second, Amelie felt her bowels move again. She didn’t even reach the toilet anymore, so she just let go over the beautiful sink. Tears escaped her eyes as she realized what she did. The beautiful sink, all covered in sick. Amelie could not explain why, but that look made her incredibly sad.

“I’m coming in,” her mom said and the door’s handle moved down. She quickly turned on the faucet to wash her sick down the drain, but her mom spotted it anyway. “Oh Amelie…” she whispered and hugged her tightly.

“I think the food on the plane was bad,” Amelie pressed out against her mother’s chest. Her embrace felt as soothing as it always did, and always would. The two women shared a bond that went even beyond being mother and daughter or best friends. At school, or at any other activity, Amelie never met anyone who was on such good terms with their mother.

“Honey,” her mom said with an off-sounding voice, “when was your last period?” It hit her like a gleaming needle. She knew it would be the first thing her mom would think of. “Like three weeks ago, so no,” she reassured the woman.

“And I’m on the pill, you know that.” For a second, she allowed herself to go back in time to when she was thirteen, suffering from horrible period cramps. Her mom took her to a gynecologist immediately when she found out, and got a prescription for the pill.

That evening, both of them cried for the same reason: Her mother found it hard to accept that her only child was slowly becoming a woman, and Amelie didn’t want to be that just yet. She wanted to keep playing soccer with the neighborhood boys, to run around dirty with Billy the horse the entire day. Not to be a woman and to have to go to the bathroom so frequently.


“You… do know that some women get their periods anyway,” her mom said, practically ripping her out of her beautiful memories. She felt her cheeks turn red, not ready to have this talk, not ready to think about this slim possibility. “I know Mom, but I’m on the pill!” she hissed, hoping she would finally drop the subject and go back to being the loving, caring mother and make her some soup for the upset stomach.

She didn’t want to be one herself.

“There’s… something I haven’t told you, Schatz,” her mom said, and at the sound of the German term of endearment, Amelie’s eyes started watering again. Why was she so sentimental all of a sudden?

Her mom sank onto the floor next to her, so Amelie did the same. Her grandma’s heater ruthlessly pushed into her spine, but she didn’t dare move. “You know, I thought about telling you this before you went,” Mom began, “and even when you started seeing Daniel. But then I… never had the strength to do it.”

Amelie looked at her, letting the words sink in. It had to be something bad, something life changing even. She knew her mother was no-one to whitewash things. She spoke her mind, even if it was the bitter truth. So what would she tell her now?

“I, uh, have reason to believe that the pill might not work for you. As a contraceptive I mean,” she heard her mom say. “And why would that be? I mean, all that pain is gone now,” Amelie responded, thinking that her mom was slowly going paranoid. I’m not pregnant, she’s just imagining things, she thought.

“Because it didn’t work for me, Amelie.”

Wait, that’s a new. Mom only has one… child… Then it dawned on Amelie. “Mom, was I… an accident?” Her mom burst into tears, and Amelie’s heart shattered into a million pieces. She nodded, her face ghastly with pain.

“I was going to leave your father,” she sobbed, “and for the longest time we didn’t… I started the pill because I was… ready for the dating market again. But then… you came. I… loved you right from the beginning. I knew this was a sign. God wanted me to stay with your dad.”

Her mom’s shoulders trembled as she cradled her head in her hands. “But, don’t ever think of you as an accident,” she added, facing Amelie again. “I love your father very much, but those twenty years ago, I didn’t. And now look at us. We’re happy, we really are, Schatz.”

Amelie felt like her mind was completely empty. She thought they were best friends, sharing everything. And then her mom kept something as important from her?

“And that is why I think you might be…” her mom didn’t have to say it. Me? A… a child? It… it really can’t be. Her stomach rebelled again, as if to confirm her suspicions. Her mom held her hair as more of the insides of her stomach left her body.

“I think we should get a test,” her mom sighed, and Amelie nodded in confirmation. “Don’t… tell him yet,” she urged, wanting to tell Matt in a quiet moment once she knew.

Mom went out and Amelie immediately turned the knob again, not wanting to face anyone else. From outside, she heard her grandma and Matt converse in their funny way with grandma just speaking Bavarian and Matt trying to guess what she was saying. “Iaz kimm, fohst mi zur Kircha, d Abendmess is,” she heard Oma say for the third time. “Okay, I drive you… where?” His voice sounded so confused. Could he really become a father…?

“Kircha! Beten! Gott!”
“I don’t understand,” Matt howled in frustration. “Church,” Amelie let out, "evening mass."
“Ahhh… Are you alright in there?” he asked, suddenly dangerously close to the door. “Yeah, please drive her there, it’s alright. I’ll see you later, Matt,” Amelie pressed out. She made an effort to sound as normal as possible.

“Alright, love you!”
“I love you, too,” she mumbled, glad he would be out of the house for a while. At the same time, she found it pretty funny that her grandma wanted Matt to drive her to church, where he wouldn’t understand a single word.

A soft knock interrupted her thoughts. “I bought those,” her mom said and threw her a plastic bag with the dark red horse logo of the grocery store just across the street. “I’ll be… waiting outside,” she said and closed the door. Shit, Amelie thought as she pulled the first package out of the bag. PREGNANCY TEST it spelled in broad pink letters that pierced her eyes.

With a sigh, she carefully read the instructions and unscrewed the cap before sitting down on the toilet. No matter how hard she pressed, not a single drop wanted to escape her. Relax, breathe, she told herself. In some minutes, you’ll know for sure. It’s probably nothing.

“Are you alright in there?” Her mom’s panicked voice sounded through the door to come along on top. It took all of her strength not to yell at her to go away. Relax, she told herself once more before finally pressing out some droplets for the test. The minutes passed mercilessly.

At school, Amelie learned about Schrödinger’s cat, a science experiment. A cat was put in a box with poison, and Schrödinger said that if he did not check the box, the cat was both alive and dead inside. That was the only test Amelie ever failed at school, simply because she couldn’t understand why a cat would be dead and alive at the same time.

But right in that moment as she sat there on grandma’s porcelain bowl, hugging her knees to her chest and looking out of the thick window, she understood.

She didn’t want to look at that test. She wasn’t ready for it. And before she checked, there were still both options, one as statistically possible as the other. In a way, she was pregnant and not pregnant at the same time, just like the poor little cat Schrödinger killed for his experiment. She was in between.

Her watch beeped, signaling that those five minutes had passed. The test had said “at least three”, so Amelie had opted for more. “What does it say?” her mom asked, fear evident in her voice. What do I say, Amelie wondered. What do I want it to say? Of course I’m twenty and it would kind of… ruin the entire life I planned, but so did meeting Matt.

She had to think of the quote she wrote down in her graduation book, and just how true it proved to be in the past months. Life happens when you’re busy making other plans.

With trembling hands she fished the test out of the sink she put it in. She closed her eyes as she brought it into her lap. Pregnant and not pregnant at the same time, Amelie took another deep breath before she forced herself to open her eyes. A plus. Positive. Not not pregnant anymore.

Tears emerged her eyes, but also a feeling she never had before rushed inside her chest, a genuine joy. She felt excited, and she immediately loved who was inside her. My child. Our child. I am going to be a mother, not only to River and Cash, she thought as her voice robotically sounded “positive.” Her own mom, who was going to be a grandmother, came inside the room. She, too, had tears in her eyes.

“I should have told you, Amelie,” she said. “It’s alright,” Amelie mumbled, “like you said, maybe it’s a sign.” “How do you feel about it?” her mom wanted to know. “Better than I expected to,” she replied. Her mom smiled through the tears. “I always knew you were meant for something great, but a rockstar’s wife? Who would have guessed that?”

Suddenly, Amelie grew anxious at the thought of their future. “Mom, we’re not married yet. I don’t even know if…” She didn’t have to say any more. Her mom understood. What if he doesn’t even want the child? Who is going to provide for us then? The nervousness left for a while, to be replaced with amusement. How quick she’d started to think for two instead of one. For us, she’d thought. For us.

“Schatz, you saw how he looks at you. I was skeptical at first. I read some disgusting stories on the internet. But when I saw the way he looks at you, like you’re something so special… I knew. And your dad did, too.”

“But where am I gonna go?” Her mom’s face bore a pained expression for a second. “With him, Amelie. To California. It’s not like we can’t ever visit, and you can, too. I’m sure Matt would pay for the ticket. And you’re gonna be someone anyway. In some years, you’ll have an income of your own, although you won’t need it. You’re facing a beautiful future, Amelie.”

“And you?”
“I’m happy with dad. With all the animals here. And we’ll visit, so the house better not be too messy!” She forced a smile. Amelie smiled, too.

“Now let’s get out of this dirty bathroom, shall we?”
“Mom? I really enjoyed this talk with you, even if it was on grandma’s bathroom floor.” Her mom chuckled. “Time passes fast. One of these days you’ll have a talk like this with a child of your own. I have a feeling that it will be a girl.” She winked at her as she got up.

An hour later, Matt came home with grandma. Amelie was sitting at the kitchen table with her laptop, trying to find information on the Orange County university studying with a child policy.

“Heiliger Vater ich bin zuhause,” he let out, chuckling as he kissed her softly. Amelie smirked. “You calling me Holy Father? Only then she realized the sense of the word “father”.

“Your grandma told me it means Sweetheart,” Matt grinned, and Amelie laughed. She knew something like that was going to happen with her mischievous grandma. “What are you googling here?” Matt’s expression turned serious in the blink of an eye. Is he… looking happy?
“Matt, there’s something I need to tell you.”

“You’re pregnant.” It sounded like a statement, not like a question. Amelie nodded softly. “You’re… pregnant?” he asked in disbelief then, as if he’d expected her to say she wasn’t. “I am, Matt,” she said softly, watching his face closely. What is he thinking right now?

His face lit up as he finally grasped what it meant. "You're pregnant," he whispered excitedly, saying those words for a third time as he hugged her tightly against him. Amelie deeply inhaled his soothing scent. Everything will be alright.

Her dad seemed skeptical at first, but somehow, Mom was able to convince him it was good for them. He had to accept it anyway. Grandma, on the contrary, was cock-a-hoop, and very excited to be a great-grandmother. She immediately started knitting.

Amelie, Matt and the boys extended their stay in Germany until the semester would start for Amelie. It was easy to apply online, and it didn’t even take two full days for her to get a positive response. Beautiful, easy days passed by. Amelie let River sit on her horse Billy as they strolled through the beautiful countryside. Cash was jealous, but Matt said he was way too young.

In the evenings, they'd sit with Amelie's family and talk a lot about God, the world and politics. Matt seemed to grow really interested in the latter. Amelie's cousin, an astro physician, sometimes swung by and gave him the last impulses needed for the concept of his new album. Sometimes he stayed up all night to write down lyrics while Amelie was sleeping.

Matt wrote a lot of music on grandma’s off-tune old piano, and he told Amelie it was coming to him easily all of a sudden. He was sure he had almost enough songs for a new album, and he was going to name it “The Stage”, after the first song he started to write when he met Amelie. It wasn't finished yet, but he was determined to use those lyrics.

It was a hot summer day when they took a trip to the city of Munich, leaving River and Cash with Amelie’s parents. Sightseeing was great, and in the afternoon, they went to a traditional market and strolled through the beautiful different quarters of Munich. Amelie always admired the architecture in Munich, especially the Ludwig Maximilian University, which was so venerable and impressive.

Still, she was going to study somewhere else. She was somewhat glad that decision was taken away from her. Like her mom said, maybe there was some God trying to tell her what were his plans for her.

After a light snack at one of the local bars, they walked around Marienplatz, one of the busiest places in Munich with lots of shops. His hand around hers felt so great, almost like it was meant to be. She looked at him and admired his fine features as they walked, but suddenly, he stopped.

“Turn around,” he whispered, and so she did. White dresses greeted her through the shop window, and they were all incredibly beautiful and unique. “Brautmodenschneiderei”, the sign over the door spelled. It was an old shop with handmade bridal gowns. It took a second until it sunk in.

Bridal gowns? She turned around to face Matt, only to discover that he sunk down on one knee while she was looking at the dresses.

“My beautiful Amelie,” he spoke, and with one smooth movement he pulled a small little box out of his pants. "I think true love is rare to find. I was so blessed with love in my life, I found true love two times, something I didn't think possible. I love you with all my heart, Amelie. And I always will. So there's one question left to be answered." With that, he opened the box and a beautiful diamond shone at her. "Will you marry me?" A rush of emotions overcame Amelie as she nodded, and some bystanders started to applaud.

“A thousand times yes, Matt,” she whispered before his soft lips finally found hers. Everything inside her exploded with joy as a thousand tingles rushed down her spine, leaving a lingering feeling even when his lips were removed.

Matt’s hands were steady as he slipped her on the ring. It was a beautiful, classical engagement ring. “I asked your dad first, by the way. He was impressed with my gentleman manners,” he chuckled before pressing a kiss to her cheek.

“Amelie,” he rasped, “I want you to know…” He kissed her again gently. “I had this ring even before I knew you were pregnant. I would have asked you anyway.”

Three weeks later, they held their beautiful wedding ceremony. They got married in the little church in Amelie’s town by the same priest who married her parents, and so many people showed up that some of them had to stand. Cash and River were incredibly cute in their little tuxedos when they brought them the rings.

In the afternoon, they held a reception in Amelie’s parents’ garden. Matt’s bandmates played, and Brian sang most of the time. Amelie was surprised how good they were with the classical wedding songs.

Matt sung, too. He performed very beautiful and unique love songs for her, and Amelie wondered when exactly he’d stolen her iPod and looked up her most played titles. Amelie was a beautiful bride in her classical crème colored dress. She was glad her bump wasn’t showing through the carefully chosen fabric. Her grandma’s amulet and a blue wristband completed the look. Something borrowed, something blue.

They flew back to the US just in time for Amelie’s studies to start. She was thirteen weeks pregnant and the gynecologist was finally able to determine their baby’s sex. They were having a girl. Amelie was ecstatic at the thought of adding a little girl to the family. Also, she was impressed that her mom knew immediately.

When she told the kids, Cash was happy, but River asked something that made her think. “Daddy, does mean we lose Amelie?” What did he mean by that? After she asked, he said “Daddy say I get brother, Cash. Then Mommy away. Now you say I get sister. Then you away? I don’t like!”

It broke her heart to hear it. “River, sweetie, I promise: I’m not going anywhere.” And she didn't. Amelie was happy. After the first semester, which she passed, she took a year of university leave, knowing she would have the child during the next semester.

Their daughter was born on an extremely cold day in March. She had Matt’s hazel eyes and Amelie’s nose. As a tribute to Matt’s former wife, they named her Valary May.

And they lived happily ever after.

THE END.

Notes

I originally planned two chapters, but then I decided to alter the story, so here's a super long update for you. This is the end of the ride, please get out now :D

I really hope you liked my story. Although there are barely 20 chapters, it's the longest I've written so far, seeing as all the chapters are double or triple as long as my previous chapters were. Did you like having longer chapters? Or should my future stories rather have shorter ones? :)

Thanks so much for all the support I've been receiving on this story. Your comments make my days <3

For those of you who don't know it so far, please do check out my story "On Tour". For those of you who do know it: I'll update tomorrow. And I'll reply to my PMs tomorrow (@HometownGlory don't worry, laryngitis hasn't killed me .. yet :*)

With much love, seventhtrumpet