Strawberry Fields Forever

Matt stared at his face in the mirror as he dried off the cold water he’d just splashed at himself to calm down. What have I done, he wondered, and what does she think about me now? He wasn’t sure what overcame him on the stairs just minutes ago.
Whatever it was, he couldn’t let it happen again. She was twenty, definitely not what he was looking for. And he wasn't what she was looking for.

Still, he couldn’t deny the sexual attraction between them, and he knew that she couldn’t, either. It reminded him of his wife, and how it all came to be between them. It always started out as sexual attraction, as wanting to be as close as possible.

Then came the questions, the stage in which you wanted to know everything about that person. And then, without a doubt, came love. He hoped that this time, he was wrong. No matter how much he wanted to fall in love again, it couldn’t be Amelie.


"Pull yourself together," he said to himself as he threw himself one last glance before he finally walked back into the living room. Somehow, he was glad she was grocery shopping with the boys. He rarely ever had the house to himself. Then he decided to clean the bathroom, seeing as he hadn’t done it in a while. Now that he was going to have a permanent guest, he was ashamed to let her think that he lived like he did.

After a while, he heard the familiar click of the key as Amelie came back with the groceries. Immediately, the giggling of his sons was filling the air, bringing back the life into the big house. It was only then that Matt realized they hadn’t been this bubbly in a while.

Maybe the attention they were getting from Amelie was helping them. Matt knew with a heavy heart that he wouldn’t be able to provide all the attention they needed if he continued touring and writing and all that came with being a musician. Maybe he needed to quit, after all, if he couldn't find a woman to stay.

He understood why his bandmates wanted him to find a wife or girlfriend so badly. Music and touring was their life. No matter how much Matt loved his sons, he also loved what he did. He couldn’t imagine to only write and record music, or worse write for other bands.

Even if he stopped all that he probably wouldn’t be enough for his sons. Whenever he went to bed, he felt guilty for everything he didn’t manage to do on that day. It was as if everything was just so overwhelming, like giant waves crashing on to the shores relentlessly.

He took a second to think about Val, and he felt the familiar pang of sadness as he did. She never ceased to amaze him. They were so different, yet they fit so perfectly. If sides were reversed, Matt thought, she wouldn’t have any problems with the household and the kids.

They’d had this traditional, old-fashioned kind of family that he loved so much, with him providing for the family with his career and her taking care of everything else. It was what he wanted for now, since he’d never had it any other way. In the age of emancipation women of that kind were hard to find.

He quickly disposed of his sweaty t-shirt and threw on a flannel before walking downstairs. His sons were already sitting between all the legos, making satisfied noises. They were the only toys they actually used together in peace. Everything else resulted in a huge argument.

“Need some help cutting those?” he asked as she unpacked the veggies. “I’d love that,” she said. About half an hour later, they were done with some easy veggie stir-fried rice. The boys seemed to love it. The smell of being lived in lingered in the house, making him wonder when he smelt it the last time.

“Daddy,” River said with an excited smile, “Ammeli say if I eate all veggies, I can have ice cweam!”

Matt let out a chuckle. “You bribe my sons,” he grinned, thinking that he should have come up with that himself. Amelie smirked. “Yeah, so? As long as they eat their veggies…” They laughed.

Surprisingly, River managed to eat up his whole portion and a small bowl of ice cream. It amazed Matt how much he could eat if he wanted to. He was growing up way too fast for his likes. After dinner, Matt did the dishes while Amelie watched Dora the Explorer with the kids.

From where the sink was, he could see the TV screen. The beige couch Amelie and the boys were sitting on was right in front of him. Riverr was cuddled into her side while Cash was already half-asleep in her lap. The sight of them being close was still some kind of deja-vu for him, so new, yet so familiar.

All too soon, the boys headed to bed, where Amelie read them a story. Matt dreaded what would happen then. He expected an awkward silence between him and Amelie, considering he invaded her comfort zone just hours before.

"Alright, movie?" he heard her from the off as she jumped down the stairs, taking two at a time.
She threw herself onto the sofa comfortably. Matt was startled. He wasn’t prepared for her acting like everything was normal. Why was she so okay with everything?

He picked one of his favorite movies, Gran Torino. He chuckled as he got closer to the couch. It was all covered by Amelie. “You’re gonna sit up again or do I have to cuddle you,” he heard himself say. It sounded so cheesy. God damn it, he thought, why the fuck did I say that? What is she even thinking of me?

She responded with a grin. “You didn’t seem to be having any troubles doing that earlier.” Matt felt his jaw clench.
There it was. That was just what he didn’t want to talk about.
“Yeah, about that,” he said, mainly to buy himself some time to think about an appropriate answer. Amelie cut him off. “It’s alright. You don’t have to answer. That was stupid to say.” She then sat up on the sofa and motioned for him to come next to her.


Matt couldn’t concentrate on the movie as he felt the warmth of her body just inches next to him, her leg almost touching his. He noticed the smell of her shampoo, something peachy and maybe a trace of coconut.
Somehow, he felt like he was in high school again, right on his first date, an unexperienced virgin, and maybe he was. He’d never really dated. He just met Val in sixth grade and from that moment on, he knew he was going to marry her. It was as easy as that.

Maybe that was the reason why he was having such a hard time in the dating world. He didn’t want to meet up and start sleeping with someone, just to see if it worked out later, if it was alright. To fall in love was what he wanted, not to be an arrangement for the kids. And strangely, he could only imagine that with Amelie, the twenty-year-old that was definitely not going to stay.
He let out a chuckle as he realized how hopeless he was.

“What’s so funny?” Amelie asked, not taking her eyes off the screen. “Nothing,” he mumbled. Matt didn’t think rational anymore. In fact, he didn’t think anything anymore. His arm landed on the backrest behind her, operating on auto pilot as if he was a puppet on a string. She turned to face him. His heart seemed to stand still.

What am I doing here, he wondered as she moved closer. She caught him completely off guard. Her hand started to cup his face, her fingers gently rubbing over his scruffy cheek. Wherever she touched him, she left a lingering feeling. He let escape a sigh. Her touch made him feel so alive after being asleep for so long.

Their eyes locked, and that was it. Matt felt himself take a deep breath. Finally, he allowed himself to close the gap between their faces. He crashed his lips on hers, feeling everything at once. His emotions seemed to overwhelm him. It was as if he was a rock on the shore and the flood was coming in crashing waves. There was no turning back now. Her little hands moved to his head and softly tangled his short hair.

He let his tongue glide against her lower lip, gently asking for entrance. When their tongues finally started playing, he let out a moan. His jeans were getting awfully tight from just one kiss.

She tasted like vanilla ice cream with a trace of red wine, a surprisingly intoxicating combination. Every inch of his body ached for her attention. No matter how much he’d fought against this urge– now it was there, ever so prominent. It felt so incredibly good he immediately forgot how wrong it was.

Slowly, his hand made its way to the hem of her t-shirt, drawing little circles on the exposed skin of her back. It felt so good to kiss her, different than anything before. He knew he needed to give her a chance to back out, but he wasn’t sure if he could stop if she wanted him to.

His sex drive had been asleep for over two years, but now he found himself wanting to push into her more than ever. It didn’t matter anymore that it was wrong. It was happening. Their tongues were ferociously battling for dominance as his hands found her ass and cupped it. She gasped and he finally won the battle. So perfect.

Her fingers moved all the way to his chest, unbuttoning his flannel and revealing his tattooed chest, which was covered in goosebumps as her warm breath met his chest. His heart was beating awfully loud.

She lightly traced his tattoos with her finger tips, causing him to shiver with pleasure. Then her hands determinedly disposed of the flannel. She carelessly tossed it to the floor. Matt watched as she let her hungry eyes travel across his naked chest before she sat down to straddle him. Her warm core met his rock hard member with way too many layers of clothes between them, causing both of them to groan from the friction.

Matt quickly got rid of the top she was wearing and attached his lips to her neck, sucking hard enough to leave hickeys while massaging her perfect round ass through her thin shorts. His reward was a loud moan. It turned him on so much. Her hands were now fumbling with his belt, letting him know exactly that she wanted the same.

“It’s, uh,… Been a while,” he stuttered as she pushed down his jeans, freeing his dick from its prison. Suddenly, she had an uncertain look on her face. “Yeah, about that…,” she whispered as she touched him through his boxers, “it’s uh, a first for me.”

What?

Somehow, Matt’s brain refused to process what she said. Once again, he was painfully reminded of their age and maturity gap. It was her first time. Immediately, his doubts arose. He didn’t think he was worthy of it.

“Uh,” he said, stuttering. The words didn’t come out. He couldn’t think. “I want this,” she said, kissing his chest, making him yearn for her even more. How could she make him so hot if she never had sex before?

“Okay,” he mouthed, unable to say or do anything else. He was completely under her spell. Finally, she pushed down his boxers and revealed his member. She swallowed at the sight. Her hand around it, she turned to face Matt.

“So what do I do?” she asked, an uncertain look on her face. “Nothing,” he moaned, turning them around so he was on top. Knowing he couldn’t stop, he was determined to make it as nice for her as possible. Within seconds, she was naked as well.

He took in her toned figure. “You’re so beautiful,” he murmured before kissing her again. He just couldn’t get enough. The consequences of this ever so sweet forbidden fruit did not matter anymore.

Slowly, he kissed down her body, making a long stop at her breasts. He sucked and played with her nipples, earning moans. Then he finally reached her core. Her lips were glistening with wetness, all for him. He inserted a finger, noticing how tight she was. She would feel so good around him. Amelie gasped as he lowered his head and started circling her clit with his tongue, something he hadn’t done in such a long while. She tasted so good.

He picked up his pace, sucking hard and pushing his fingers in and out quickly. She tugged at his hair in pleasure, moaning his name. He knew she was getting close, so he made some extra effort, licking faster and sucking until he felt her inner muscles contract as she came with a loud moan, her hips jerking uncontrollably.

Matt inhaled sharply as he looked at the hot and sweaty mess he left her as just with this first action. No-one had ever reacted to him in the way she just did. Then he climbed on top of her, positioning his cock at her entrance. He moaned as he felt her wetness on his head. He couldn’t wait to bury himself in her.

“You sure?” he asked. “Yeah,” she replied breathlessly.

Matt gently pushed in about halfway, feeling her tightness. There was this small resistance as his head bumped against her hymen. He had to concentrate hard not to spill into her from that little movement. “Relax,” he whispered as he finally filled her up completely. “UGH!” Her nails dug into his back, undoubtedly leaving marks.

“You alright?” he asked. He knew a first time could hurt a girl. But she nodded, kissing his collar bone. Her moans filled the air. Matt gave her a few seconds and then started moving, slowly reaching a comfortable pace. He reminded himself it was her first time, just to restrain from fucking her as hard and rough as he liked it. From her reactions, he could tell she was getting close again.

He went somewhat faster and rubbed her clit, causing her to scream. It was nothing like he’d done before, way too gentle for his likes. But it seemed to be right for him, too, after so much time. Her whole body contracted, basically milking him as he spurted into her.

It left both of them breathless. He got off her and pulled her into his body, inhaling her scent. “That was... really good,” she whispered. Matt kissed her neck and ran his fingers through her hair. “Yeah,” he mumbled absentmindedly. She had a lot to learn.

As her breathing got steady in his arms, he suddenly realized he crossed a boundary.


What the fuck have I done, he thought. Oh fuck.

Notes

Hello my lovies! Thought I'd leave you what you've been dying to read for my time away ;)
Have a good time and I'll be back as soon as I can <3

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