Best friends, again?

“AND EVERY SCAR WILL BUILD MY THRONE…” I scream along, nearly busting my lungs and by the sound of it the eardrums of the guy next to me.
I jump around the press area, screaming along with Olli, having the time of my life, all the while trying to actually get some good pictures and get my job done but man they sure have a vibe. I wish I could be in the pit, today’s crowd is really loud and energetic it is amazing to watch.
Taking out my AAA-Pass I walk backstage and get a couple of shots from the audience, it’ll probably go good on the Facebook page.
Once the set is done the guys all get to the front of the stage and I take some pictures with them and the crowd I think they turned out pretty good.
***
A couple of weeks later I sit around the bus being bored and doing nothing but waste my time away
Hey, princess. You okay?I smile as I see the new massage pop up on my screen, interrupting my intense game of Candy Crush.
Hey there. I’m okay. Just Tour Blues I guess. It does get a little crowded in here with 15 people. How is life treating you back there?Tiredly I close my eyes tour really is getting to me as much as I love it. The originally planned four weeks would be over tomorrow but the tour was expanded so we still have time on the road. I feel my phone vibrate in my hand and open my eyes again.
Ah, good old tour blues. Everyone gets it. Go out and get drunk, that usually does the trick – for me anyways. Life is good, pretty much the same as usual even though we just finished recording the last bit for the new song. When are you getting back? Maybe you could come down here for a little?I smile at the suggestion to go out and get drunk but then again it is such a Brian thing to say. It didn’t sound like a bad idea though; we haven’t been out in a pretty long time.
Well, Tour has been expanded for another three weeks and I think I have to get back to figure out what happens next, with my contract at work not being expanded and everything.
Oh, so you are not moving back here?I can basically see his frown in this text as I told them I would come back two years ago
I don’t know yet. I have not decided yet. I have a couple of applications sent out to both home and New York. I don’t know if I am ready to leave New York yet. I build a live there and I would hate to leave everyone behind but then again I would love to go home. I am really undecided. I guess I’ll decide when I actually get accepted to a job. The truth is I am scared shitless as what happens after my contract runs out in a month. Jimmy would let me move back in, in a heartbeat but I don’t want that. I got a taste of freedom and independence I don’t want to give that up. I wouldn’t mind moving back but to my own place, I would give up a lot in New York though.
I understand. Just know that we would love to have you here but even more though we want you to be happy. Listen to your heart, princessI choke a little reading that last word as no one called me that in more than two years it almost sounds strange and unfamiliar now. But it also brings back amazing memories and the pain of having lost my best friend. Even though Brian and I have been texting basically non stop, since I started this tour, I still got this feeling that he could stop one text to the other, just like he did two years ago but then again it feels amazing to have him back as a friend.
Thank youand I hope with all of my heart that he realizes that I thank him for much more than just his last text.
“Hey” I look up as I hear a voice and smile, seeing Matt N. walking into the bus
“Hey” I smile back at him, putting my phone away.
“What are you up to?” He asks plopping down next to me, clearly exhausted from his set. I hand him my vitamin water bottle and he quickly downs the entire thing
“Not much, thinking” I shrug my shoulders but obviously once you get to know me I am like an open book because Matt snorts
“Yeah sure more like letting your mind wander a thousand miles a minute turning yourself completely crazy. So what is running through that pretty little head of yours?” I shrug again
“You know the future and stuff. Like am I going back home? Am I staying in New York? Will I get a job? How is everything going to turn out? Will…”
“woooow. Slow down. Who cares if someone hires you? You could quite easily just open up your own agency, god knows you got the Talent for that” I shake my head
“It is not that easy. Talent doesn’t get you jobs, connections do. I have not even decided where my career should be headed. I doubt I want to go on tours for the rest of my life” Matt shakes his head on me
“You have connections. I have had bands telling me that they are jealous of us for working with you. Avenged Sevenfold would book you, Bullet for my Valentine would, Austin already said he definitely wants you for their next one. Not to mention I will feel personally assaulted if you don’t come on our next one. No one said something about doing tours for the rest of your life. Do them to get your name out, make sure people know you and then they’ll gladly book you for normal shoots and shit. I am not saying run back to America and open up an agency without thinking about it. All I am saying is give it a thought. Don’t cross it out before you actually, really thought about it.”
“Okay” I smile but I just can’t picture it, running my own agency. Plus even if I decided to do that it still does not solve the dilemma of where I was going to live.
“You know what?” I smile at Matt
“No what?” He shakes his head
“Get the guys, we are going out” He laughs but gets up and give me a little salute before walking back out to get everyone else.
“30 Minutes” I yell after him and get up and walk to the back, rummaging through my suitcase.
The dress I pull out is one I got in a spontaneous moment on a mall on the tour but looking at it later I never expected to wear it as it is really revealing. I shoot the dress a look and walk back into the kitchen. I really want to be brave and wear the dress even though it is quite different from my usual style. So what I need is confidence, Liquid confidence. Time to get the party started.
I grab a bottle of Jack and take one big gulp of confidence before I walk back, grab some nice black lingerie, silently thanking Tammy for insisting I pack this next to my sports bras telling me you never know what cute guys are going to be on tour, grabbing my dress and some nude, shiny stockings I walk into the bathroom and get changed. I look into the mirror and my eyes nearly bulge out. Damn I look good but I still don’t know if I can pull this off so I do the only thing I can that I know will make me walk off that bus in this dress
“Hello” thankfully she answer after the first ring, not giving me a chance to chicken out of calling her.
“Hey Girl” I smile into the phone, hearing her shriek, being happy to hear from me
“Hey how are you. How is tour. I miss you…”
“Tammy!” I laugh into the phone and she is silent at once
“I am good, tour is great but tiring and I miss you too but I really need your help. I bought a dress a couple weeks ago and I just put it on but it shows a damn lot of skin so I need you to talk me into walking out of this bathroom and even more so out of this bus in this dress”
“how much skin?” I can tell she is exited as she was trying to get me into something else than Jeans and tanks for a while
“A lot, more than your little black one” I can hear her squealing again
“That is amazing. I bet you look like a bomb they won’t believe their eyes if they see it. Now you listen to me: you are a strong, independent damn hot beautiful woman and it is about time you show the world what you got to offer. So what you are going to do is you’ll get dolled up and walk out of that bus like you own the fucking world. You can’t let the thought of Brian holding you down any longer- and don’t even try to tell me he does not I know he does. Now draw some wings on your eyes, fluff that hair and go and cause some heart attacks and I better see some Instagram pictures girl” I smile
“Thanks that was just what I needed to hear. I gotta go now. Love you”
“Love you too. Kill them!” I laugh and hang up the phone.
I take out my makeup bag and take some extra caution while applying all my concealers and foundation and highlighters and face powder and contour power and all the stuff girls use to make sure they look their best. Once I am satisfied with how my skin looks and take out my black Eyeshadow and draw on some smoky eyes, finishing them off with some drawn-to-the point wings and put Mascara on my lashes. This is followed by some pink shining lip gloss and I have to admit I like this look on me. It is much more then what I usually wear but I feel like it suits me. I quickly take out my straighter and turn my now black hair into a mass of big curly volume, fluffing them up I consider myself ready. I quickly snap a mirror selfie and send it to Tammy for approval
Damn girl you look hooooot! Go for it! I type a quick reply, thanking her and take a deep breath. I give myself a little pep talk, repeating Tammy’s words from earlier and walk out the door. I take another big gulp from the bottle of Jack and grab my heels. Packing my phone and some cash I grab the bottle and walk out of the bunk area taking another big gulp. Finding the bus empty I walk out the door and down the steps. Heads are turning my way when they hear my heels click on the concrete floor

Notes