Flames
Try
“Adalay open the door!” Hurley screams while pounding on the bedroom door. It’s been four months since Trey died and I’ve kept myself locked away. I refuse to see or talk to anyone even though everyone has tried, hell Hurley comes over every day trying to get me to open the door but I just lay in bed with music blaring.
“Adalay Raychel Savell if you don’t open this door right this minute I’m going to make Matt come break this door down. I’m sick of this shit! It’s been four months! You need to get out and try to live life again!” I just reach over and turn my music up louder before lying back down. I hear Hurley let out a frustrated scream before kicking the door and stomping off. I mumble the song to myself as I drift off into a fitful sleep. A few hours later or maybe even a day later, hell I have no sense of time anymore; I hear something banging against the door. I glance over just in enough time to see it flying open and Matt falling against the floor. Hurley is standing in the door way with a pissed off expression and I feel myself shrink back into the bed as she marches over. Ripping the comforter off of me gives me a look that I’m sure is supposed to scare me but it doesn’t.
“Ads, you’re going to get your ass up and take a shower. Then me, Matt, Brian, and you are going to get something to eat.” I stare up at her wondering if she has lost her mind.
“Hurley…” My voice cracks seeing how I’ve hardly used it these past few months. “Just leave me alone. Please.” I beg quietly. But she just shakes her head at me and looks over to the door where Matt and Brian, who appeared out of nowhere, are standing.
“Guys can you give us a minute? I need to talk to her alone.” They nod before heading downstairs. She sighs before sitting next to me on the bed.
“Ads please just come out with us. It’s been four months. You need to get out of this house. You can’t stay here forever. Your money is running out Hun. You have to get a job and get out of this house. Why would you even want to stay here after what he did to you?” She questions while watching me for an answer.
“It’s my fault Hurls. I killed him.” I softly sob before she pulls me close to her.
“Ads, you listen to me and listen good. It is NOT your fault. He chose to drink and drive. You didn’t make him leave the house and drive. And it is not your fault that he beat you. He almost killed you Adalay. You almost died because he couldn’t control himself. And that’s why he died, he couldn’t control himself Ads. Hell his whore was in the car with him. And Ads I thought, I thought it was you.” She lets out a whimper and pulls me even closer to her. I look at her face to see silent tears falling down her face.
“If it would have been you I don’t know what I would have done. That’s why me and Matt came to look for you that night because I was praying it wasn’t. But if we wouldn’t have made it when we did you would be dead too. I’ve had nightmares about not making it in time. I can’t lose you; you’re more than a best friend you’re like my sister. That’s why it’s killing me for you to lock yourself in this room. Ads it’s almost like you wish you were dead. But you gotta get up and try. I refuse to let you give up. That’s why we are going to dinner tonight and tomorrow I set you up an appointment with a therapist.” She pulls away to stand up but not before wiping the few tears off of her face. She holds her hand out to me and I hesitantly place mine in hers. She pulls me off the bed and points to the bathroom. I slowly walk in there and she follows. She turns on the shower and grabs a towel out of the cabinet. Placing it on the counter she gives me a smile and I try to give her one back but I think it comes out more as a grimace but she seems to be content with it.
“Go ahead and take as long as you need in there. I’ll set you out an outfit on the bed. I’ll be downstairs with the boys if you need me.” I just nod my head at her in response. She turns to head out the room and as she goes to shut the door she pauses before turning back around.
“Ads I love you. I just want you to know how much I really love you and it might not seem like it right now but it will get better.” With that she turns back around shutting the door behind her to leave me to get ready. I slowly start peeling my clothes off of me and step into the shower. The water feels almost foreign to me seeing as I prolly haven’t showered in a week or so. After washing my hair and body I just stand under the pouring water letting my tears mix with it. I cried for me, for Trey, even for Hurley. Once the water starts to turn cold I finally turn in off and step out, wrapping the towel around me. I glance in the mirror and instantly wish I hadn’t because I don’t even recognize the girl looking back at me. Before I can start crying again I quickly exit the bathroom to see that Hurley did indeed set out an outfit for me. It’s just a pair of pants and my Misfits tee. I silently thank her because I don’t think I could handle getting dressed up and going somewhere nice. After getting dressed and throwing my hair into a messy bun I head downstairs. As I get to the bottom step I can hear Matt whispering to Hurley and Brian. I clear my throat because I really don’t want to hear what they are saying about me. Everyone stops talking and looks up at me with a smile. I send a small one back to them as they stand up. Matt heads over to me taking me into his arms.
“I’ve missed you, Ads. I’m glad you’re coming with us.” He says before placing a kiss on top of my head and moving over to Hurls. Brian gives me a brief hug telling me I look good. I thank him and we head outside to the car. Brian opens the door for me and I take a deep breath as I get in hoping that this will be a start of a new chapter to my life.
“Adalay Raychel Savell if you don’t open this door right this minute I’m going to make Matt come break this door down. I’m sick of this shit! It’s been four months! You need to get out and try to live life again!” I just reach over and turn my music up louder before lying back down. I hear Hurley let out a frustrated scream before kicking the door and stomping off. I mumble the song to myself as I drift off into a fitful sleep. A few hours later or maybe even a day later, hell I have no sense of time anymore; I hear something banging against the door. I glance over just in enough time to see it flying open and Matt falling against the floor. Hurley is standing in the door way with a pissed off expression and I feel myself shrink back into the bed as she marches over. Ripping the comforter off of me gives me a look that I’m sure is supposed to scare me but it doesn’t.
“Ads, you’re going to get your ass up and take a shower. Then me, Matt, Brian, and you are going to get something to eat.” I stare up at her wondering if she has lost her mind.
“Hurley…” My voice cracks seeing how I’ve hardly used it these past few months. “Just leave me alone. Please.” I beg quietly. But she just shakes her head at me and looks over to the door where Matt and Brian, who appeared out of nowhere, are standing.
“Guys can you give us a minute? I need to talk to her alone.” They nod before heading downstairs. She sighs before sitting next to me on the bed.
“Ads please just come out with us. It’s been four months. You need to get out of this house. You can’t stay here forever. Your money is running out Hun. You have to get a job and get out of this house. Why would you even want to stay here after what he did to you?” She questions while watching me for an answer.
“It’s my fault Hurls. I killed him.” I softly sob before she pulls me close to her.
“Ads, you listen to me and listen good. It is NOT your fault. He chose to drink and drive. You didn’t make him leave the house and drive. And it is not your fault that he beat you. He almost killed you Adalay. You almost died because he couldn’t control himself. And that’s why he died, he couldn’t control himself Ads. Hell his whore was in the car with him. And Ads I thought, I thought it was you.” She lets out a whimper and pulls me even closer to her. I look at her face to see silent tears falling down her face.
“If it would have been you I don’t know what I would have done. That’s why me and Matt came to look for you that night because I was praying it wasn’t. But if we wouldn’t have made it when we did you would be dead too. I’ve had nightmares about not making it in time. I can’t lose you; you’re more than a best friend you’re like my sister. That’s why it’s killing me for you to lock yourself in this room. Ads it’s almost like you wish you were dead. But you gotta get up and try. I refuse to let you give up. That’s why we are going to dinner tonight and tomorrow I set you up an appointment with a therapist.” She pulls away to stand up but not before wiping the few tears off of her face. She holds her hand out to me and I hesitantly place mine in hers. She pulls me off the bed and points to the bathroom. I slowly walk in there and she follows. She turns on the shower and grabs a towel out of the cabinet. Placing it on the counter she gives me a smile and I try to give her one back but I think it comes out more as a grimace but she seems to be content with it.
“Go ahead and take as long as you need in there. I’ll set you out an outfit on the bed. I’ll be downstairs with the boys if you need me.” I just nod my head at her in response. She turns to head out the room and as she goes to shut the door she pauses before turning back around.
“Ads I love you. I just want you to know how much I really love you and it might not seem like it right now but it will get better.” With that she turns back around shutting the door behind her to leave me to get ready. I slowly start peeling my clothes off of me and step into the shower. The water feels almost foreign to me seeing as I prolly haven’t showered in a week or so. After washing my hair and body I just stand under the pouring water letting my tears mix with it. I cried for me, for Trey, even for Hurley. Once the water starts to turn cold I finally turn in off and step out, wrapping the towel around me. I glance in the mirror and instantly wish I hadn’t because I don’t even recognize the girl looking back at me. Before I can start crying again I quickly exit the bathroom to see that Hurley did indeed set out an outfit for me. It’s just a pair of pants and my Misfits tee. I silently thank her because I don’t think I could handle getting dressed up and going somewhere nice. After getting dressed and throwing my hair into a messy bun I head downstairs. As I get to the bottom step I can hear Matt whispering to Hurley and Brian. I clear my throat because I really don’t want to hear what they are saying about me. Everyone stops talking and looks up at me with a smile. I send a small one back to them as they stand up. Matt heads over to me taking me into his arms.
“I’ve missed you, Ads. I’m glad you’re coming with us.” He says before placing a kiss on top of my head and moving over to Hurls. Brian gives me a brief hug telling me I look good. I thank him and we head outside to the car. Brian opens the door for me and I take a deep breath as I get in hoping that this will be a start of a new chapter to my life.
10/29/13