Her grace can't save you now.
Thirteen.
I didn’t see much of Darcy or Matt over the next week, they’d been rehearsing a lot and I’d seen some of their routine and it was actually getting really good although Matt did have me do his Chemistry homework a couple of times because he was so tired from the rehearsing, well I didn’t do it, I just copied all of my answers over it wasn’t really much of a problem.
But then there was the issue of Darcy, I was thinking about her non-stop again, all the time, she didn’t actually leave my mind even when I was asleep and it was starting to drive me crazy. I still couldn’t admit that I liked her because in my mind I didn’t.
My friends had stopped nagging me about it now because they saw that I was standing firm I wasn’t going to lie to a girl and get her hopes up by telling her that I like her back because I don’t and that would mean I was lying to her and I couldn’t do that.
My Mom got onto me last night about the fact that my grades were slipping too, well she wasn’t having a go at me per say, it was more just a question of “Why aren’t you doing so well Zacky? Is there anything you don’t understand? Is there something on your mind?”
To which I told her no there wasn’t, but it wasn’t technically a lie because there wasn’t a
thing on my mind, it was a girl . I sighed and rolled over in bed. I wanted to call her, just to make sure she was okay, she seemed off yesterday when I saw her, she only walked past me in the school corridor but I saw her for just long enough to see that she wasn’t herself. I picked up my phone and scrolled through my contacts. Jimmy had taken the liberty of saving her name in my phone with a little heart next to it. I rolled my eyes and pressed the call button.
It rang a few times before she picked up:
“ Hello?”
“H-Hi Darcy, it’s Zacky”
“Zacky?... how did you… oh Jimmy” He voice was thick, she sounded like she’d been crying.
“Have you been crying? Darcy are you alright?”
“ I… yeah I’m… no ”
“What’s wrong?” I asked sitting up on my bed, I tucked my feet underneath me and was suddenly all ears.
“It’s nothing… just an argument with Connor, really Zack it’s nothing for you to worry
about” She sniffed.
“But you’re upset” I chewed on my lip “You want me to kick his ass for you?” She giggled a little bit.
“ No it’s okay, you don’t need to do that, but you could… you could come over? I’m bored shitless here on my own ” She said, she sounded nervous and sad, I nodded realising she couldn’t see me.
“Yeah sure I can come over for a while, I just need to put something on other than sweatpants” I said
“ I don’t mind sweatpants ”
“Yeah but I do, they’re horrible grey baggy things but they’re great for sleeping in, I was napping a while ago” She giggled.
“Napping, aww”
“Oh hush, I’ll get dressed and I’ll come over” I said
“ Okay Zacky, see you in a while ”
“Bye Darce”
“Bye Zacky” And then I hung up. I threw my phone down on the bed and ran through to the bathroom, I stripped down and jumped into the shower, I took a five minute shower so that I smelled better and then I went back to my room pulling on some loose fitting jeans and a dark red V-Neck. I dried my hair off and ran a brush through it so that I looked presentable before grabbing a hoodie wallet and keys and pulling on my converse before going down the stairs to tell my Mom I was leaving.
“Mom I’m going out!” I called
“Where?” She called back.
“Darcy’s house!” I yelled back before leaving before she could ask any more questions. I got in my car and drove over to Darcy’s, I was anxious to see her again, she sounded really upset on the phone and I wanted to make sure that she was okay.
I rang the doorbell and waited, a moment later she appeared at the door, wearing jeans and a grey hoody, she smiled a little bit and opened the door more to let me in. She lead me through to the living room and sat down gingerly on the couch. She motioned for me to sit with her so I did, she sighed and leaned her head on my shoulder.
“He’s pissed off at me” She mumbled,
“Connor?”
“Yeah”
“Why?”
“Because I won’t put out” She sighed.
“You shouldn’t be with him if you don’t love him”
“I know” She sighed
“It’s not fair”
“I know”
“I’m sorry Darce”
“I know”
It was my turn to sigh, I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and she moved closer to me stiffly. She flicked the Tv on and we ended up watching glee. I groaned and she giggled.
“What it’s good” She said
“It’s not! It’s utter shit!”
“Oh so what’s your idea of a good Tv show then?”
“I dunno, I just usually watch cartoons or Scuzz tv”
“Cartoons?” She quirked an eyebrow at me. I nodded. She rolled her eyes and flicked it over
to cartoon network where they were currently showing Courage the cowardly dog . I grinned and got comfy.
“Now this is my kinda show”
“It’s about a dog”
“It’s creepy as fuck though” Just watch it I said, she rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to the screen. Ten minutes later and the episode was over, she looked up at me with big eyes.
“Please don’t ever make me watch that again, it was terrifying”
“Hard to believe that’s a kids show right?”
“I know, jesus that’s worse than some of the horror movies they make”
“I know right?” I laughed and butted her with my nose. She sighed and looked at her hands.
“Hey what’s up?”
“Zack why won’t you be with me?”
“Darcy not think argument again”
“I don’t wanna cause an argument, I just want to know”
“Darcy I just don’t feel that kind of affection for you” I said “I wish I did so that things would be easier, but I just don’t” I said stroking her cheek with my thumb.
“Don’t friendzone me” She said
“That’s the last thing I want to do”
“But you are” She bit her lip.
“I don’t want to, but I just can’t date someone I don’t feel for”
“Jimmy told me about… about Rebekah” I winced at the mention of her name.
“Why does everyone bring it back down to her?”
“I’m not like her” She said “I’m nothing like her”
“I know you’re not” I said
“Then why are you scared?”
“I’m not scared”
“Yes you are” She shifted so that she was kneeling next to me.
“I’m not scared I’m just… averse to the idea of dating anyone else”
“But it’s been eight months”
“Takes time to get over someone who tore your heart out” I mumbled.
“I know, but you… Zacky you have to learn to love again sometime” I looked down at her, she
confused me so much, here she was telling me that I had to learn to love again and then she was telling me that she loved me and I couldn’t make sense of it. She bit her lip and shook her head. She looked kind of adorable like that.
“I’m sorry Darcy, it just… takes time” I said
“I know, I’ll still be here when that times up” She said, she moved so that she was sitting in my lap. I thought she was going to try and kiss me but instead she just wrapped her arms around my shoulder and hugged me tightly.
But then there was the issue of Darcy, I was thinking about her non-stop again, all the time, she didn’t actually leave my mind even when I was asleep and it was starting to drive me crazy. I still couldn’t admit that I liked her because in my mind I didn’t.
My friends had stopped nagging me about it now because they saw that I was standing firm I wasn’t going to lie to a girl and get her hopes up by telling her that I like her back because I don’t and that would mean I was lying to her and I couldn’t do that.
My Mom got onto me last night about the fact that my grades were slipping too, well she wasn’t having a go at me per say, it was more just a question of “Why aren’t you doing so well Zacky? Is there anything you don’t understand? Is there something on your mind?”
To which I told her no there wasn’t, but it wasn’t technically a lie because there wasn’t a
thing on my mind, it was a girl . I sighed and rolled over in bed. I wanted to call her, just to make sure she was okay, she seemed off yesterday when I saw her, she only walked past me in the school corridor but I saw her for just long enough to see that she wasn’t herself. I picked up my phone and scrolled through my contacts. Jimmy had taken the liberty of saving her name in my phone with a little heart next to it. I rolled my eyes and pressed the call button.
It rang a few times before she picked up:
“ Hello?”
“H-Hi Darcy, it’s Zacky”
“Zacky?... how did you… oh Jimmy” He voice was thick, she sounded like she’d been crying.
“Have you been crying? Darcy are you alright?”
“ I… yeah I’m… no ”
“What’s wrong?” I asked sitting up on my bed, I tucked my feet underneath me and was suddenly all ears.
“It’s nothing… just an argument with Connor, really Zack it’s nothing for you to worry
about” She sniffed.
“But you’re upset” I chewed on my lip “You want me to kick his ass for you?” She giggled a little bit.
“ No it’s okay, you don’t need to do that, but you could… you could come over? I’m bored shitless here on my own ” She said, she sounded nervous and sad, I nodded realising she couldn’t see me.
“Yeah sure I can come over for a while, I just need to put something on other than sweatpants” I said
“ I don’t mind sweatpants ”
“Yeah but I do, they’re horrible grey baggy things but they’re great for sleeping in, I was napping a while ago” She giggled.
“Napping, aww”
“Oh hush, I’ll get dressed and I’ll come over” I said
“ Okay Zacky, see you in a while ”
“Bye Darce”
“Bye Zacky” And then I hung up. I threw my phone down on the bed and ran through to the bathroom, I stripped down and jumped into the shower, I took a five minute shower so that I smelled better and then I went back to my room pulling on some loose fitting jeans and a dark red V-Neck. I dried my hair off and ran a brush through it so that I looked presentable before grabbing a hoodie wallet and keys and pulling on my converse before going down the stairs to tell my Mom I was leaving.
“Mom I’m going out!” I called
“Where?” She called back.
“Darcy’s house!” I yelled back before leaving before she could ask any more questions. I got in my car and drove over to Darcy’s, I was anxious to see her again, she sounded really upset on the phone and I wanted to make sure that she was okay.
I rang the doorbell and waited, a moment later she appeared at the door, wearing jeans and a grey hoody, she smiled a little bit and opened the door more to let me in. She lead me through to the living room and sat down gingerly on the couch. She motioned for me to sit with her so I did, she sighed and leaned her head on my shoulder.
“He’s pissed off at me” She mumbled,
“Connor?”
“Yeah”
“Why?”
“Because I won’t put out” She sighed.
“You shouldn’t be with him if you don’t love him”
“I know” She sighed
“It’s not fair”
“I know”
“I’m sorry Darce”
“I know”
It was my turn to sigh, I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and she moved closer to me stiffly. She flicked the Tv on and we ended up watching glee. I groaned and she giggled.
“What it’s good” She said
“It’s not! It’s utter shit!”
“Oh so what’s your idea of a good Tv show then?”
“I dunno, I just usually watch cartoons or Scuzz tv”
“Cartoons?” She quirked an eyebrow at me. I nodded. She rolled her eyes and flicked it over
to cartoon network where they were currently showing Courage the cowardly dog . I grinned and got comfy.
“Now this is my kinda show”
“It’s about a dog”
“It’s creepy as fuck though” Just watch it I said, she rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to the screen. Ten minutes later and the episode was over, she looked up at me with big eyes.
“Please don’t ever make me watch that again, it was terrifying”
“Hard to believe that’s a kids show right?”
“I know, jesus that’s worse than some of the horror movies they make”
“I know right?” I laughed and butted her with my nose. She sighed and looked at her hands.
“Hey what’s up?”
“Zack why won’t you be with me?”
“Darcy not think argument again”
“I don’t wanna cause an argument, I just want to know”
“Darcy I just don’t feel that kind of affection for you” I said “I wish I did so that things would be easier, but I just don’t” I said stroking her cheek with my thumb.
“Don’t friendzone me” She said
“That’s the last thing I want to do”
“But you are” She bit her lip.
“I don’t want to, but I just can’t date someone I don’t feel for”
“Jimmy told me about… about Rebekah” I winced at the mention of her name.
“Why does everyone bring it back down to her?”
“I’m not like her” She said “I’m nothing like her”
“I know you’re not” I said
“Then why are you scared?”
“I’m not scared”
“Yes you are” She shifted so that she was kneeling next to me.
“I’m not scared I’m just… averse to the idea of dating anyone else”
“But it’s been eight months”
“Takes time to get over someone who tore your heart out” I mumbled.
“I know, but you… Zacky you have to learn to love again sometime” I looked down at her, she
confused me so much, here she was telling me that I had to learn to love again and then she was telling me that she loved me and I couldn’t make sense of it. She bit her lip and shook her head. She looked kind of adorable like that.
“I’m sorry Darcy, it just… takes time” I said
“I know, I’ll still be here when that times up” She said, she moved so that she was sitting in my lap. I thought she was going to try and kiss me but instead she just wrapped her arms around my shoulder and hugged me tightly.
4/20/13