Sunny Disposition
Chapter 6
Back to Sophia's POV
Yesterday was a short day. We all took to bed for around 9PM. Our moods deteriorated from happiness to devastation, as we knew today was the day we had to say goodbye. We spent yesterday drinking, eating, just catching up. We had a grab to eat in a diner a few blocks down, after that - we came back to the exact same spot.
It was 10AM, I naturally awoke in my empty and cold bed, wondering what it would feel like to have Matt besides me. At home, when I held him from tears I'd never felt so much comfort. I imagined waking up to see his bright big face, gleaming at my morning hair. It was a thought that gave me a small smile, the only smile I'd have today.
Jimmy's' funeral was in three hours. We were all meeting in reception at 12, I knew I had to get up and get ready but the sadness killed off any motivation. I managed to fling my legs off from the bed, but not my body yet. I sat up, like a vampire in it's coffin - and carefully stepped out onto the cold wooden floor. I flicked the kettle on and prepared myself a strong coffee and stared into my wardrobe. I picked out a short black dress. Tight around the neck and chest, yet with a flow around the waist. I took some black boots and a black jacket. The colours depressed me, just like the day. The weather poured rain from the sky, thunder crashed and the wind howled through the slits in the windows. The perfect day for such an event. It was James' favorite weather. He'd take walks in storms, walk his poor dog in them too - he just loved the peace.
Once I drank my coffee, curled the ends of my hair, applied some makeup and put on my clothes it was 12.15. I quickly grabbed a shoulder bag, threw in some perfume, tissues, my phone and some photos of us. I raced down the hall of the hotel, just catching an elevator as it was about to close on me. When I got down to reception, Matt was sat on a sofa fiddling with his hands. I approached him with care, and stood before him. He looked up at me, and stood up.
Matt wore black suit and he had black mirrored sunglasses resting on the top of his head, he slowly and steadily eased his body to me, giving me a hug without arms. His head rested on my shoulder, my arms hooked under his and I held him tight. Zacky and Johnny approached, without a word too. Brian lastly, who's eyes looked swollen from tears.
We headed outside and the funeral car was neatly parked and waiting. I didn't feel like I deserved to be in that car, but they insisted. We traveled down the road to a church - which was crowded with people non of us had ever seen before. I walked inside the funeral home to see his family gathering around one another to send their condolences. Feeling hurt within my heart I just cannot believe that Sully is gone. I remember so much good from him and even the bad, but he was the best I have ever had. It's so cold inside there with millions of eyes staring me down behind my back, as I am walking down the aisle. People knowing who I was from being young, god knows what they were saying.
Before we knew it, in came James - in a perfectly white coffin fit for an angel like himself. It was surreal and heartbreaking. The last time I saw him, we were drunk in his garage screaming Slayer lyrics to one an other, just us two. Now - he's in front on me in his own coffin.
I don't want to go through the funeral too much, it was full of tears - I sat next to Matt, and the other side of me sat Zacky. I held hands with them both as they silently cried throughout the whole service, we all did.
After our final goodbyes to Jimmy - unwillingly, we headed to the wake.
The ride to the venue was silent, with a few sniffles of sadness. It was hard for me, to lose somebody who had impacted by life so much from a tiny age, but I couldn't imagine how much harder it would have been for the guys - creating a successful band with him, forming brotherly bonds and exploring their dream together.
We arrived at a small party venue, where Jimmy's mother and father were both already at. They were sat at a bar table, holding each other - Jimmy's father played the strong one and comforted her whilst she sobbed herself into pieces. The sight of mourning is unpleasant and hurtful. As soon as you stop crying and see somebody else breakdown - it's like a domino effect, and as soon as it starts the whole room blubbers again.
Many people arrived at the wake. The whole of Jimmy's family, from far far away and from down the street, the band's road crew and friends - and one sight that warmed my heart the most was noticing Matt's mother. I carefully walked over, and placed my hand on her shoulder. She turned, with blotched eyes and gasped.
"Honey!" she exclaimed holding my arms tightly, like a mother to a child - which is something I had missed since my mother passed away. "I'm sorry for the loss of James, honey - it is horrible news"
"Yeah," I nodded. "Matt turned up at my house and told me, I could hardly believe it"
"He loves you, dear" she nodded patting her damp eyes. "He may not have shown in, or may not show it now but, beyond all of those tattoos and muscle he's only got you inside of his heart" she smiled, tucking the hair behind my ear. "You've turned into such a beautiful young lady"
"Thank you" I smiled. Hearing such words from his mother eased me, even though it was probably just his mother making it up. Everybody took to their seats as Matt tapped a spoon against his glass, making a ring echo through the room.
"So," he coughed. "Thank you for coming, we wanted to do something for him he'd enjoy - it was his favorite bar when he turned 18, he lived in here" he chuckled. "I just want to take this opportunity to allow anybody to make any words for him, and as soon as that is done we can just celebrate his life and start picking ourselves up"
I stood up eagerly. "I want too," I added, walking towards Matt. He began to walk away, I grabbed his arm, and held him close to me for support. He wrapped an arm around my waist, and pulled me close to him. Side by side, he helped me as I read out some words.
"So, me and James met at the age of 4, me and Brian both met him at nursery. I didn't exactly get along with him at first, I was a little blondie obsessed with dolls - he was one of those who stamped on the plastic drinking cups, he bit people he didn't like too," I chuckled. "And Brian will back me up when I say he was the actual devil child" Brian smirked, closed his eyes and nodded in the way he does. "Matt joined us as we moved up in school, he became friends with me and Brian, and James - and that's how we properly met each other actually. Although in the same small friend group, I wouldn't have classed him as a friend at that point, he'd torment me for having guy best friends and no girls, he'd pull my shorts down in sport classes" everybody chuckled along with me, lightening up slightly. "But when Zacky and Johnny moved to us, it started to change. Coming into high school together was when me and James really clicked. He set me up with Matt - it was a dare but it lasted for several years, he taught me so much, he taught me how to stand up for myself, and other people, he taught me to drive, how to study...and how to chug" Everybody smiled and laughed along with my memories of James. "But, when the guys left for New York, it was one massive rush and I didn't get the opportunity to say goodbye..."
I suddenly broke down entirely. Small tiny crystal beads crept out of my eyes, one after another, soon it turned into a flowing stream of sorrow that ran down my face and dripped from my chin onto my dress. Matt moved me away from the attention, and apologized on my behalf. There is no way I could finish any sentence from that point, every word left my brain and turned into absolute jumble.
Matt took me into the back room, and held me tightly. "Sophia," he said peacefully
I sniffled and managed to make sense of my words. "Yes?"
"Thank you for being here," he held my chin gently and lifted my head up. "You're so strong, and you've held us together whilst you've been here, you always did" he brushed my hair behind my ear. My sobs suddenly stopped and my heart began to beat faster. "We need you here, Sophia" he licked his lips softly, and moved even closer to me. "I need you"
"I need you" I sighed breathlessly
Matt leaned closer, his body hitched further towards mine, sensitively he dropped his hand to my waist and pulled me even closer, we were milometers apart, lips almost touching..
"Sophia, are you alri-" Brian stormed into the room, he immediately stopped his sentence when he saw me and Matt.
"Yeah," I coughed, we separated from our moment and I brushed my hair out of my face using my finger tips. "Yeah, I'm okay - I just got worked up"
"Just checking," Brian spoke awkwardly, he left the room leaving me and Matt alone again.
"I'm gonna go back," I smiled doubtfully, wanting that moment again. "Thank you Matt"
"It's okay," he nodded. "I hope you're okay"
Yesterday was a short day. We all took to bed for around 9PM. Our moods deteriorated from happiness to devastation, as we knew today was the day we had to say goodbye. We spent yesterday drinking, eating, just catching up. We had a grab to eat in a diner a few blocks down, after that - we came back to the exact same spot.
It was 10AM, I naturally awoke in my empty and cold bed, wondering what it would feel like to have Matt besides me. At home, when I held him from tears I'd never felt so much comfort. I imagined waking up to see his bright big face, gleaming at my morning hair. It was a thought that gave me a small smile, the only smile I'd have today.
Jimmy's' funeral was in three hours. We were all meeting in reception at 12, I knew I had to get up and get ready but the sadness killed off any motivation. I managed to fling my legs off from the bed, but not my body yet. I sat up, like a vampire in it's coffin - and carefully stepped out onto the cold wooden floor. I flicked the kettle on and prepared myself a strong coffee and stared into my wardrobe. I picked out a short black dress. Tight around the neck and chest, yet with a flow around the waist. I took some black boots and a black jacket. The colours depressed me, just like the day. The weather poured rain from the sky, thunder crashed and the wind howled through the slits in the windows. The perfect day for such an event. It was James' favorite weather. He'd take walks in storms, walk his poor dog in them too - he just loved the peace.
Once I drank my coffee, curled the ends of my hair, applied some makeup and put on my clothes it was 12.15. I quickly grabbed a shoulder bag, threw in some perfume, tissues, my phone and some photos of us. I raced down the hall of the hotel, just catching an elevator as it was about to close on me. When I got down to reception, Matt was sat on a sofa fiddling with his hands. I approached him with care, and stood before him. He looked up at me, and stood up.
Matt wore black suit and he had black mirrored sunglasses resting on the top of his head, he slowly and steadily eased his body to me, giving me a hug without arms. His head rested on my shoulder, my arms hooked under his and I held him tight. Zacky and Johnny approached, without a word too. Brian lastly, who's eyes looked swollen from tears.
We headed outside and the funeral car was neatly parked and waiting. I didn't feel like I deserved to be in that car, but they insisted. We traveled down the road to a church - which was crowded with people non of us had ever seen before. I walked inside the funeral home to see his family gathering around one another to send their condolences. Feeling hurt within my heart I just cannot believe that Sully is gone. I remember so much good from him and even the bad, but he was the best I have ever had. It's so cold inside there with millions of eyes staring me down behind my back, as I am walking down the aisle. People knowing who I was from being young, god knows what they were saying.
Before we knew it, in came James - in a perfectly white coffin fit for an angel like himself. It was surreal and heartbreaking. The last time I saw him, we were drunk in his garage screaming Slayer lyrics to one an other, just us two. Now - he's in front on me in his own coffin.
I don't want to go through the funeral too much, it was full of tears - I sat next to Matt, and the other side of me sat Zacky. I held hands with them both as they silently cried throughout the whole service, we all did.
After our final goodbyes to Jimmy - unwillingly, we headed to the wake.
The ride to the venue was silent, with a few sniffles of sadness. It was hard for me, to lose somebody who had impacted by life so much from a tiny age, but I couldn't imagine how much harder it would have been for the guys - creating a successful band with him, forming brotherly bonds and exploring their dream together.
We arrived at a small party venue, where Jimmy's mother and father were both already at. They were sat at a bar table, holding each other - Jimmy's father played the strong one and comforted her whilst she sobbed herself into pieces. The sight of mourning is unpleasant and hurtful. As soon as you stop crying and see somebody else breakdown - it's like a domino effect, and as soon as it starts the whole room blubbers again.
Many people arrived at the wake. The whole of Jimmy's family, from far far away and from down the street, the band's road crew and friends - and one sight that warmed my heart the most was noticing Matt's mother. I carefully walked over, and placed my hand on her shoulder. She turned, with blotched eyes and gasped.
"Honey!" she exclaimed holding my arms tightly, like a mother to a child - which is something I had missed since my mother passed away. "I'm sorry for the loss of James, honey - it is horrible news"
"Yeah," I nodded. "Matt turned up at my house and told me, I could hardly believe it"
"He loves you, dear" she nodded patting her damp eyes. "He may not have shown in, or may not show it now but, beyond all of those tattoos and muscle he's only got you inside of his heart" she smiled, tucking the hair behind my ear. "You've turned into such a beautiful young lady"
"Thank you" I smiled. Hearing such words from his mother eased me, even though it was probably just his mother making it up. Everybody took to their seats as Matt tapped a spoon against his glass, making a ring echo through the room.
"So," he coughed. "Thank you for coming, we wanted to do something for him he'd enjoy - it was his favorite bar when he turned 18, he lived in here" he chuckled. "I just want to take this opportunity to allow anybody to make any words for him, and as soon as that is done we can just celebrate his life and start picking ourselves up"
I stood up eagerly. "I want too," I added, walking towards Matt. He began to walk away, I grabbed his arm, and held him close to me for support. He wrapped an arm around my waist, and pulled me close to him. Side by side, he helped me as I read out some words.
"So, me and James met at the age of 4, me and Brian both met him at nursery. I didn't exactly get along with him at first, I was a little blondie obsessed with dolls - he was one of those who stamped on the plastic drinking cups, he bit people he didn't like too," I chuckled. "And Brian will back me up when I say he was the actual devil child" Brian smirked, closed his eyes and nodded in the way he does. "Matt joined us as we moved up in school, he became friends with me and Brian, and James - and that's how we properly met each other actually. Although in the same small friend group, I wouldn't have classed him as a friend at that point, he'd torment me for having guy best friends and no girls, he'd pull my shorts down in sport classes" everybody chuckled along with me, lightening up slightly. "But when Zacky and Johnny moved to us, it started to change. Coming into high school together was when me and James really clicked. He set me up with Matt - it was a dare but it lasted for several years, he taught me so much, he taught me how to stand up for myself, and other people, he taught me to drive, how to study...and how to chug" Everybody smiled and laughed along with my memories of James. "But, when the guys left for New York, it was one massive rush and I didn't get the opportunity to say goodbye..."
I suddenly broke down entirely. Small tiny crystal beads crept out of my eyes, one after another, soon it turned into a flowing stream of sorrow that ran down my face and dripped from my chin onto my dress. Matt moved me away from the attention, and apologized on my behalf. There is no way I could finish any sentence from that point, every word left my brain and turned into absolute jumble.
Matt took me into the back room, and held me tightly. "Sophia," he said peacefully
I sniffled and managed to make sense of my words. "Yes?"
"Thank you for being here," he held my chin gently and lifted my head up. "You're so strong, and you've held us together whilst you've been here, you always did" he brushed my hair behind my ear. My sobs suddenly stopped and my heart began to beat faster. "We need you here, Sophia" he licked his lips softly, and moved even closer to me. "I need you"
"I need you" I sighed breathlessly
Matt leaned closer, his body hitched further towards mine, sensitively he dropped his hand to my waist and pulled me even closer, we were milometers apart, lips almost touching..
"Sophia, are you alri-" Brian stormed into the room, he immediately stopped his sentence when he saw me and Matt.
"Yeah," I coughed, we separated from our moment and I brushed my hair out of my face using my finger tips. "Yeah, I'm okay - I just got worked up"
"Just checking," Brian spoke awkwardly, he left the room leaving me and Matt alone again.
"I'm gonna go back," I smiled doubtfully, wanting that moment again. "Thank you Matt"
"It's okay," he nodded. "I hope you're okay"
Notes
This will be the last of the sad bits for now! Thank you all for reading, I hope you're enjoying it!!
Team Brian! I'm really loving this! Off to read the continuation now x
6/29/17