Sunny Disposition

Matt POV

"Can I come in?" I stuttered, almost speechless, staring at the woman in front of me. The last time I saw her, she was a girl, a pretty girl, a girl who had a bicycle for transport, a tiny bedroom covered with Metallica posters, wearing black ripped jeans, t-shirts too big - and now, I stare at a mature, stunning woman - who owns a house, a car, has posh painted canvas' on her walls - it was, shocking how much she had changed, her hair had grown into soft waves, which made a change from her messy short bob - the dark brown hair faded into a soft color, and her eyes managed to sparkle through the smudged wet mascara. I felt like the love I'd missed all these years, had rushed back stronger than ever.

"I don't want to see you" she formed such a disappointing face with tears streaming down her flushed cheeks, her sadness hurt me. "Please leave" she pushed the door shut in front of my face and locked it shut.

"Sophia," I shouted resting my head against the door. "Open the door - we need to talk"

"You have nothing to talk about, Matt. It was years ago, I don't care anymore" she yelled back at me from the other side of the door. I sat with my back against the door, as was she - I saw her figure through the glass, almost as slouched as mine.

"I really need to talk to you, it's important" I frowned, struggling to hold in every emotion I brought with me. "It's about Sull" my heart sank at the mention of his name.

She stood up, unlocked the door, and opened it briefly. "What is so important Matt?"

"Let me in, Sophia - I don't wanna talk about it out here"

She let me in. I entered her homely house, and froze in the hallway - not wanting to move and make her house scruffy with my wet clothes and shoes. Sophia noticed my awkwardness, and stuck her hand out as an offer for my coat.

"I'll put it in the closet" she snatched it away from me and began stomping up her stairs. "Wait in the room for me, I'll go tidy myself up"

As she stormed away from me, I entered her living room and was blessed by the warmly welcome, her sofas were mounted with soft throws and pillows, candles were in every eye sight, lights surrounded her mirrors and fireplace, the walls were a dark blue color contrasting with silver, I was much impressed by how grown up she's became. She had a section of wall covered with frames, I noticed myself in one of them - which made me relieved to know she didn't stop thinking about me and the memories. There was a photo of her mom on holiday, a photo of her with Zack and Brian, and a small one with James. I picked it up from the wall and sat down, staring at them both. The hardest part is breaking it to people that loved him.

"Why are you holding that?" Sophia came into her living room with brushed hair, her make up removed and a dry set of clothes. Her scent washed into the room and calmed me, it sounds strange but - it was a peaceful smell, the smell I'd want to sleep on to stop my restless nights and nightmare's about James.

"Sophia I need to tell you somethin'," I sighed after a brief moment of silence. "Will you sit down?" she frowned at me suspiciously as my words fought to tell her. She sat carefully in front of me. "James," I stuttered. "He's gone"

"Gone?" her frown lightened and turned raised - her eyes watered. "What do you mean gone?"

I hadn't cried about it since it happened, I was the strong one in the group - I helped the guys when they cried about it, I didn't want to cry in front of them, they needed me. "He's-" my lip began wobbling like a child, it was uncontrollable.

"You don't need to say it Matt, it's okay" her head fell into her hands, and she sighed shakily. I couldn't control my tears today, the comfort I felt with her 5 years ago returned to me, making me practically sob. Her head raised, her eyes streamed, and she stared at me with confusion. I think seeing me cry shocked her, she never saw emotion from me before, not since I left. "Matt, calm down" she shouted grabbing me from my collapsed position on her sofa. "Matt calm down, it's okay - come here" she pulled me into her and held my head, like a mother would to a baby. "Just get it out, we can talk about it later" Sophia cried too, but she focused on me, for some stupid reason - I didn't deserve this from her.

Sophia's POV

I cradled him, rocking him gently - ignoring what he told me. I refused to acknowledge it yet. Matt has held this in forever, he's always been so stubborn with his emotion.

"I'm sorry" he sobbed uncontrollably, I couldn't make sense of his words, they were all a mess.

"Matt, look at me" I wiped my eyes and held his trembling head in my hands. "It's unhealthy leaving everything inside" I shouted over his distraught sobs.

"I'm so lost" I think he said, his lips didn't touch as he sobbed his way though the conversation. "Will you come?"

"Come?" I frowned wiping his cheeks. "Come where?"

"Funer-" he sniffled and threw my hands away, wiping his own eyes. "The funeral" he spoke calmly, standing upright shaking off what just happened. It was like he never began his sobs. "It's on Friday"

"That isn't a question," I nodded wiping my nose and eyes. "How? How did it even happen," I dazed onto my floor.

"Well, you know what he's like, thinking he's indestructible" he chuckled. "Do you remember the time he stole his Uncle's car, and picked me, you and Johnny up?"

"Yeah," I smirked. "..crashed us into the park"

He shook his head with a tiny smirk. "I don't know what we're going to do without him"

"You're not gonna be without him" I smiled, gently letting tears fall down my face, staring with my blurry eyes at the photo of me and him which had fallen on the floor in Matt's breakdown. "He'll always be there," I picked it up and dusted it off. "He's always there for me, I just have to look at him and I feel happy. I don't care how long it's been, he's always had that affect on me"

Matt stared at me, with the look of total loss. He slouched back down next to me and removed his cap and bandana, revealing his shaven hair. "So, if you come back with me today, we can go through his stuff with the guys - if it's not to hard for you, and attend the funeral, and have a drink on him. Please, just if it's not to difficult for you"

"Me?" I sighed. "I wanna be there for him" I smiled, but my smile instantly dropped as I remembered my anger in the first place. "This doesn't make anything okay Matt, as soon as its over - I'm coming home, and I can't see you or the guys again"

Notes

I know it's a touchy subject, I will avoid it at all costs from now and wont go into hardly any detail for the funeral, just the party afterwards!!

I write these chapters when I need a break from my A Level revision as it relaxes me!! So my updates won't be as regular as other writers as I am so busy! But I will write another one tonight, as I'm in the writing mood right now! :D

Comments will be great for feedback, thank you xxx