Sophia's POV

Later on that night......

My eyes opened in sudden shock, I can't think of why my heart is pounding, mind empty. It's as if a hypodermic of adrenaline has been emptied into my carotid. I strain into the utter darkness, breathing rate beginning to steady. A feeling in my stomach churned. I stumbled to the corner of the spare room I was staying in, and with each step my stomach tightened and ached all the more. I kept swallowing, and my throat kept clenching, but no matter what, I could not stop the warm feeling rising through her chest. I raced to Brian's bathroom and clung to the toilet seat as if it were a life raft. My stomach felt like the bag in a set of bag-pipes being vigorously squeezed. I buckled, and was sick into the bowl.

Brian rushed through in panic, he turned the light on which made me worse as the brightness stung my eyes.

"The fuck- are you okay?" he rushed over to me, and held me.

"No!" I shouted in embarrassment. "Go back to bed I'm fine"

"You ate somethin' bad?" he sighed, ignoring my order and holding my hair back, his hand rubbed my back in soft circles. It comforted me.

"I don't think so" I frowned, flushing the chain. I felt disgusting, him watching over me vomit all over his expensive marbled toilet. After the hospital, we came back to Brian's house. It was a much smaller house than Matt's, further out of the way, secluded, old - but still vast in it's valuables.

"I'll get you some water," he sighed. He kissed the back of my head with love, considering I had puked everywhere. He dashed out of the bathroom, turning the hall lights on as he skipped down the stairs, I looked behind me, he had his boxers on which were the opposite of tight. His arms were smothered in tattoos, but from the looks of it, the rest of his body was just a blank sheet of paper waiting to be doodled on. I admired the blank sheet. I admired his un-perfect body. The way he didn't show off sexually, his stomach jiggled as he jogged, his hair in a knotted mess - it seemed more realistic, compared to Matt. Who was un-faulted.

I sat against the warm radiator, getting over my sickness. I felt normal, just tired and a little dirty. I questioned in my head what made me sick, I hadn't eaten anything wrong, maybe it was some flu going around. I could have even caught a bug from the sick infested hospital.

Brian jogged back up the stairs, bringing an icy glass of water. He knelt down and handed it too me carefully with a smile. His thin lips curved unevenly, which made my stomach drop with fluttering butterflies - it worried me that I would be sick again.

"I'll sort you with a hot washcloth" he walked back down the hallway, releasing a yawn or two, and grabbed a cloth from a tall cupboard filled with towels. He came back quickly, running the cloth under the hot steaming tap. He let it rinse for a minute or so and he watched eagerly, waiting for the steam to rise from the cloth itself. As he stood, I saw the bruises and swelling which covered his abdomen from the fist punches Matt attacked him with. He didn't seem to be in pain however. "Here," he smiled. He rang the cloth out, and folded it neatly, placing it on my forehead. He held it there gently. "You feeling okay now?"

I sat on the bathroom floor, legs stretched out, almost panting from giving up so much breath from being sick. I gave him a nod. "I don't know what's up with me"

He chuckled. "Bad food probably"

"I don't think so," I frowned. "Could you grab me my toiletry bag from my room? I have some ibuprofen I could take to help my stomach"

He gave me a smile, and left me. I held the cloth over my head still as it felt soothing on my head, and watched him rush through into the room and rush back through again. He handed me my bag and I unzipped it, searching to find some tablets. I came across my tampons, which I threw out to make it easier to find the small tablets.

I carried on searching, and I slowed down. I stared at the tampons on the floor, then to the toilet I was sick in, then to the tampons again.

"You okay?" he asked, putting the face cloth to one side.

"Yeah" I lied. I grabbed the tampons, shoved them into my bag - and suddenly felt a rush of sick coming again. It came as soon as I realized why I could be being sick.

The night me and Matt got drunk after Jimmy's funeral.

I thought to myself, 'no..... it can't. I definitely must have eaten something.'

But it would make too much sense.

Brian continued to rub my back, while I silently cried over the toilet.

"Somethin' is gettin' inside of you," Brian sighed, rubbing my back harder as I carried on puking. "Get it up," he chuckled.

"Brian go to bed" I snapped, wiping my eyes.

"No, I wanna look after-"

"Go to bed" I screamed, collapsing back to the seat I warmed on the floor near the radiator. I curled up, crying.

"Sophia," he frowned. "What the hell is wrong?" he knelt down to me, putting his arm over me. He wore a puzzled yet concerned expression.

"Why do you have to be so caring?" I wiped my gutted eyes once more.

He shrugged. "Who I am" he spoke with a smile. "Now, you can tell me your problems, we can talk them through?"

"I just feel ill," I lied, showing him a sneaky smile which escaped my lips. "I'm gonna get myself some sleep now"

"Do you want something next to you in case you wanna hurl again?" he chuckled.

"No, no" I tossed him a grin. "I'll be just fine"

"Goodnight," he kissed my head deeply. "You know where I am if you need me" he lead himself back to his room, scratching his head, glad that he could go back to bed. As soon as his door shut. I completely, yet silently, broke down.

My hands crawled around my stomach, reaching to feel something to give me the answer I wanted.

I tried so hard to remember the drunken night with Matt, whether he wore protection, whether we finished - I tried to remember the last time I was on my period - I couldn't think. I stood up, got myself on my feet, washed my face with ice cold water, I felt nervousness as I tapped my heel, biting my nails, teeth chattering.

I didn't want this. I didn't want this with Matt.

"No.. no" I whispered to myself. "Fucking think" I grabbed my hair by the fistful, tugging rapidly.

'Would he remember? Should I call him?' I thought to myself.

"No! He can't find out about this" I murmured, tugging harder on my hair in frustration.

'But he would know - it would ease my mind if he told me he used a condom'

I felt crazy talking to myself, thinking to myself - but I felt insane.

I rushed through into the bedroom, I grabbed my phone and silently crept down the stairs, I knew Brian wouldn't hear me as he was fast off snoring already.

Once I got downstairs, my fingers frantically searched for Matt in my phone and I called him. And called him. ..and called him.

7 times

After the seventh time, he called back.

"What?!" he answered panicked, answering harshly.

"Matt," I sighed, speaking quietly. "I'm sorry- I know it's late- but I wouldn't call if it wasn't important"

"Babe what's the matter?"

My blood boiled at my nickname.

"Matt-" I snapped. "-just- do you remember- Jimmy's funeral, when we-"

"Yes" he interrupted.

"Did you use-"

"No"

"Are you- sure?" I frowned, with my hand super glued to my stomach.

"We were drunk"

"Think, Matt- did you?"

"I said no" he chuckled. "You told me you was using birth control"

"I said- what?" my eyes widened and my heart pounded. I wasn't using birth control at all, and I now ultimately hated my drunk-self.

"..that you were using birth control" he spoke sarcastically in a clear manner, as if I didn't hear him the first time.

"And you- definitely didn't use a condom?"

"No, Sophia. Why?" he grumbled. "Why at 4AM?"

"It was on my mind" I hung up the phone and threw it away from me.

Matt gave me the answer I wanted. But why was it so hard to believe?

Notes

I apologise if this is a confusing chapter, with Sophia talking to herself but my aim was to make it all confusing, because this is her point of view so we can tell she's pretty shook up..

Opinions?!?

****sorry about the wait, again!! - laptop has definitely broken, so I wrote this on my phone so I apologise for any spelling mistakes!*********