It's No Fun But I've Been Here Before
It was currently sunset as Brian drove us through the Nevada desert, staring straight at the road ahead; he'd barely said a word since we'd left. We'd slept pretty much all day and the others had left hours before us. With nothing important planned for the next week, there'd been no reason for us to rush about getting home.
I looked over at Brian, the setting sun highlighting the tips of his hair, his thin lips set in a relaxed frown as he drove. My eyes traveled down to his forearms, admiring his veins as he gripped the gear stick. What is it about a guys veins that is so fucking sexy? My hand twitched in my lap, wanting to reach out and touch him, and I gripped my leg to keep it from wandering.
Don't. You're not in Vegas anymore.
Brian glanced over at me, catching me staring at him. He licked his lips seductively, biting down on his bottom lip as he reached over and slipped his hand between my legs, groping my inner thigh. He slowly worked his way upwards, teasing me until I couldn't contain the moan that escaped my lips.
He chuckled, pulling the car to a stop on the side of the highway. Releasing his grip, he got out of the car, sitting on the hood and lighting up a cigarette. I got out of the passengers side and stood in front of him as he continued to smoke. His free hand reached out, his fingers slipping through one of the loops of my jeans and pulling me toward him.
"I thought we said what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas?" he smirked, taking another drag from his cigarette.
"Hey." I protested. "You felt me up."
"You didn't tell me to stop." he teased.
"You liked it." he purred in my ear, licking at my earlobe, nibbling on it gently.
"Syn..." I whispered, without even thinking about it, my hands burying themselves in his hair and caressing the back of his neck.
"If you don't stop, I'm not gonna be able to control myself." he breathed, kissing my neck, right below my jaw.
"I don't want you to..." I moaned.
Brian pulled back, still keeping a tight grip on my hips, his chest rising and falling with his heavy breathing. His eyes had that dark look in them again, glowing bright gold in the setting sun, practically burning with lust. Dropping the cigarette, his hand closed around the back of my neck and he crushed his mouth against mine. He bit my lip, making me gasp, his tongue diving into my mouth. I moaned into his kiss, our tongues challenging one another in a passionate dance.
My hands traveled up his arms, grasping at his large shoulders, sliding back down again, feeling the firm bulge of his biceps. I giggled as Brian teased me, lapping at my tongue, but not letting mine capture his again. I bit his lip in revenge, and he flipped me around, pushing me down on the hood of the car. His lips attacked my neck, quickly resorting to biting.
He dragged one of the straps of my black camisole down, kissing the hollow in my shoulder, working his way across my collarbone and down between my breasts. I buried my fingers in his hair once more as he pulled back my bra, exposing my nipple, closing his lips around it and gently dragging his teeth over the sensitive nub.
His free hand slid down my waist, groping my hip, before dropping lower and pushing my legs apart. He unzipped my jeans, slipping his hand inside and massaging my clit through the fabric of my underwear. His lips traveled back up my chest, to my neck, dragging his tongue along my jaw before meeting my lips with his own once more.
Brian's fingers slipped beneath the fabric of my underwear, gently trailing along the seam, deliberately avoiding my entrance, and I squirmed beneath him--
-- Brian's phone rang, snapping me out of my daze. He retrieved his phone from the cup holder it sat in, flipping it open to answer it. I stretched my fingers, balling my hand into a fist, trying to calm my breathing as I slowly came back to reality. I admired Brian's lips as he spoke to whoever was on the phone. That fantasy had felt so real.
It seemed that leaving what happened between us in Vegas was going to be more challenging than I thought...
"RUBY!" McKenna cried as she opened the door, immediately throwing her arms around me in a hug. "It felt like you were gone forever, oh my god!"
"What, no hug for me?" Brian sulked from beside me.
"Oh shut up." she laughed, throwing an arm around him as one of his wrapped around her. "I missed you, too."
"That's what I thought." he teased, letting her go.
"Who else am I gonna traumatize by boning his bandmate?" McKenna smirked.
"Oh god, don't fucking remind me." Brian cringed. "I'd almost forgotten about that while we were away."
"Johnny behaved himself, by the way." I reassured her. "We made sure."
"Johnny also knows I'd kick his fucking ass if he tried anything behind my Sister's back." Brian smirked.
"Ya know, the big brother act would be cute if you didn't have such a massive ego already." she chuckled.
"That's the fucking thanks I get?!" Brian protested. "Next time, I'll pay for a fucking Hooker to blow him."
"Goddamn, you are sensitive." McKenna sniggered.
"Right?" I agreed. "It's so easy to bruise his ego, he's not as tough as he looks."
Brian shook his head. "Fuck you both." he said, rolling his eyes. "I'm going to bed, long drive."
"It's good to be back, I missed you." I smiled at McKenna, giving her another hug. "But sleep sounds really good."
"Promise me you'll tell me all about Vegas in the morning?" she asked.
"Promise." I nodded.
I'll leave out the part where I slept with your brother, multiple times.
I climbed up the staircase to the second landing. Brian's bedroom door was open, so I let myself in. He was laying on his bed, watching the smoke from his cigarette as it twisted and swirled upward toward the HIM heartagram tapestry above his headboard. I grasped one of the black wooden posts of his canopy, holding back the purple curtains that hung down around his bed.
"Pretty cosy setup ya got, here." I smiled.
"I redecorated about a year ago." he said, still watching the smoke dance in the air above his head.
I swung myself around the post and came to sit at his feet, crawling across the bed and laying down beside him. As I went to wrap an arm around him, he froze for a moment, and then gently pried himself away from me and sat up. I sat up a little, resting on my elbows. Brian kept his back to me, the hand holding his cigarette resting on his knee.
"We probably shouldn't do that anymore." he muttered.
"You know why, Ruby."
"Bri..." I cooed, sitting up properly and placing a hand on his shoulder. "I know we said what happens in Vegas-"
"Stays in Vegas." he cut me off. "Which is exactly why I shouldn't share a bed with you anymore." he frowned. "We're getting too close."
"Vegas or not, you and I have always been close, Bri..."
"Not like that, until now."
"No, not like that, you're right." I licked my lips, staring down at my hands.
He finished his cigarette, snuffing it out in the ashtray beside his bed. Turning back to me, he pulled me into his embrace, his legs on either side of me. My hands instinctively slid up his back and held onto him by his shoulders. He tightened his hold on me and rubbed my back soothingly for a moment or two before pulling away.
"You'll be okay." he smiled tenderly, cupping my face in his hands. "You're stronger now, you don't need me to hold you at night."
I licked my lips, avoiding eye contact. "I guess so."
"C'mon, it's not that bad." he lifted my face with his finger under my chin and gently kissed my forehead. "I'm right next door, I'm not that far away."
I exhaled, and nodded. "Yeah, you're right." my lips twitched upward in a forced smile. "Goodnight."
Brian kissed my forehead again. "Goodnight, Ruby."
Reluctantly, I got up from his bed, turning with my hand on the door handle to smile at him once more before I closed the door behind me. Going back into my own room, I clicked the door shut, leaning against it. I sighed, closing my eyes. I'd known things would be different when we got back here. I just hadn't realized how much different.
I put my phone on charge and changed into my pajamas before climbing into bed and tapping the touch lamp to turn it off. Hugging my Gloomy Bear plushie close to me, I cocooned myself in the blankets and closed my eyes.
Silence. I wasn't used to that anymore. Not a sound but the distant chirping of crickets outside. Not the sound of Brian's gentle breathing, and nothing but a stuffed pink bear to cuddle. I drew my legs in, curling up in a fetal position, cradling the bear in my arms.
It didn't feel right. And I was cold. I sighed and sat up, pulling my skeleton onesie toward me from where it sat at the edge of the bed, and pulled it on over my bonds shorts and camisole. Wrapped in the warm, cozy fleece, I laid back down, cuddling my Gloomy Bear again. A little more cosy, but just not the same as having someone there beside me.
You're a big girl, you can handle sleeping alone.
And you'd better get used to it...
NotesGod guys, I am so sorry, this even made me sad.
But hey, it's an update, I didn't wanna keep you waiting too long for another one.
And now I'm double sad because writing about the HIM tapestry in Brian's room fucking reminded me that those assholes have just announced that they're disbanding. Excuse me while I go cry for like, twelve years because another band I grew up with is fucking quitting.
Until next time!! xx