Forever is Right Now

I had been at the beach for what seemed like hours, watching the waves roll in time after time. The swooshing making it peaceful. I laid down and closed my eyes, trying to calm my mind. I heard the waves rolling over the beach, and thought back to the last time I’d been at the beach. It was summer, we’d just finished tour. It was the first day we were home and about 100 degrees out. We’d opted for a day at the beach, enjoying the summer sun. Jimmy had chased all the gulls and then carried me from my tanning position and threw me into the waves. Everyone was laughing except me, I wanted to kill James Owen Sullivan that day for throwing me in when I wasn’t ready.

That made me cringe and I wish I could take that moment back, even though we hadn’t fought all day…that moment. I wish I could exchange happiness for anger. I wiped away a tear that had slid out of the corner of my eye as I noticed the clouds above me. I hadn’t realized that it’d gotten cloudy since being here. The wind had picked up making it a bit chillier, but the waves were just so peaceful. I didn’t know where I could go that no one would be other than here. This was the only place that I usually came when I was sad…only person who’d ever kept up with me enough to know that was Jimmy. Or so I thought.

As I spaced back into the vastness of the ocean, headlights illuminated the sand around me then turned off. I heard a car door open and close. Please just be some surfer kids. I thought silently to myself. Of course I wasn’t that lucky. I heard the footsteps and then someone sat down next to me, wrapping a blanket around my shoulders and pulling me close to them. “It’s peaceful tonight,” Zacky whispered, as though he was scared to disturb the serenity of our surroundings.

I nodded and snuggled up to him not realizing how cold I’d become since sitting here. “It is.”

“Are you alright?” Zacky asked me gently rubbing my shoulder.

I shrugged, “My best friend’s dead and my boyfriend just ended things…”

He nodded, “Sorry, stupid question.”

I smiled a little, “Nah, just routine question of someone who’s concerned.”

He kissed my forehead, “I’m sorry it’s been a shitty week.”

“It’s not your fault, but thank-you.” Zacky nodded and texted the others:

I found her, she’s safe. I’ll stick with her. Talk to you tomorrow

Zacky turned off his phone as I laid my head on his shoulder and we sat there for awhile, watching the waves roll in and out. In the distance we could see the pier lights, hear some of the music coming from the boardwalk. There was some thunder in the distance, but it hardly ever rained here.

“I’m sorry I ran,” I whispered.

“It’s okay, I understand why you bolted, just wish you weren’t so God damned fast,” He chuckled pulling me closer.

I looked up at him, “Zack can I stay with you a bit longer?”

Zacky looked down into my eyes and nodded, “Of course, you’re always welcome with me.”

I smiled and kissed his cheek then pulled away, he gently stroked my cheek with his fingers and I leaned into his touch. He smiled and pulled me close again, “We should go home, it’s getting late.”

I shivered a bit, “It’s also getting colder.”

He laughed and stood up then offered me his hand, I took it and stood up but almost fell over from not having stood for quite some time. Zacky caught me though, his reflexes still quick from when he played baseball back in high school. We couldn’t help but laugh at my clumsiness, “Maybe I should just carry you?”

I shook my head, “I can walk, just a bit woozy.”

He smiled, “That’s okay, just take your time.”

I stood looking in his eyes and then felt rain drops falling on my face. I looked up at the sky and smiled a bit, “This is one of Jimmy’s pranks. Throwing water on us when it’s already cold.”

Zacky laughed and nodded, “Agreed.” Right at that moment the wind picked up and so did the rain, it was a downpour.

I laughed and stared heaven word, “Alright Jimmy, you can stop.”

Zacky smiled as I looked back at him. His eyes scanned my face, and his hands moved up to frame my face, he moved my hair a little and I moved closer to him, almost in a trance. Zacky searched my eyes then leaned forward. I met him and kissed his lips, the kiss felt right. It ended sooner than we figured and we both stood there looking into the other’s eyes. “I’m sorry,” Zacky said then looked down as if trying to get control of himself.

“Its okay Zack, don’t apologize,” I whispered and kissed his cheek. “Let’s go home, yeah?” He nodded and we ran to his Range Rover and climbed in shivering.

When we got to Zacky’s, I went to the shower and put it on full blast hot water. The scalding seemed to regenerate heat into my hypothermic body. Soon it felt so nice and relaxing that I sat down in the tub, letting the water cascade over me. I wrapped my arms around my legs pulling them close to me. I rested my forehead on my knees and closed my eyes.

After about 5 minutes, Zacky knocked on the door, “Em, you alright? Your phone’s going off like crazy. Think it’s Matt.”

I groaned inwardly, “Yeah, I’ll be out in a sec.” I pulled myself up and turned off the water, finding a big towel in the linen closet and wrapped it around my body. As I tucked the end of it in I went to the door and opened it finding Zacky standing in the hallway, as if guarding the door.

“God damn, get the water hot enough for you?” He teased as the steam rolled out after me.

I laughed, “Yeah, just felt good.” I shrugged and walked to Zacky’s bedroom and found that he had laid out a Metallica T-shirt and another pair of gym shorts. “Fuck, tomorrow I need to go get some of my clothes to bring over here.”

“Moving in are you?” He wiggled his eye brows jokingly.

“Maybe,” I stuck my tongue out at him.

“Well you’re always welcome,” He leaned against the door frame.

“Trying to get a show, Vengeance?” I asked as my hand reached towards the tucked part of the towel.

“Fuck,” he turned around, “Sorry.”

I laughed and undid the towel then thought of the funniest shit I could do to him, “It’s alright, I’m decent.” I dropped the towel right as he turned around.

“Shit! Ember!” He yelled out embarrassed but couldn’t stop staring.

I laughed, “You’re such a perv.”

“You dropped your towel! You’re attractive, you can’t blame me for looking.” He covered his eyes a blush creeping up his neck to his ears.

I snickered and threw on the shirt and the shorts, “Alright for real this time, I’m decent.”

He breathed out almost in relief and lowered his hands, “There we go. That’s acceptable.”

“You’re such a prude,” I teased him and reached for my phone in his hand. I kissed his cheek then opened my messages. 2 from Matt…3 from Brian.

Matt: Where the fuck are you?
Matt: GET AHOLD OF SOMEONE, NOW.

I rolled my eyes such a drama king:

Me: I made it home safe and sound, Zacky found me. I just took a shower.

I then went to Brian’s messages:

Brian: I talked to my dad, he set me straight…I’m sorry
Brian: Where are you dollface?
Brian: I hope you can forgive me for being an asshole. I love you

I sighed and shook my head then showed Zacky the messages, “I don’t know if he truly means it or if he’s doing it because Papa Gates told him to.”

Zacky stroked my still wet hair, “I don’t know babe.”

I nodded, “Bedtime?”

He stretched then jumped on me playfully, “Carry me.”

I laughed and caught him then we fell over, me on my back and him on top of me, “Oof, fatass.” I joked.

He gave me the puppy dog face and I cooed a little then went to kiss his cheek but he moved and captured my mouth with his. I gasped a little in surprise and he deepend the kiss, but I pulled away. “Zacky, we can’t right now…it’s…it’s not you, I like you. I just…”

“You’re still messed up over Brian,” He finished for me.

I nodded, “He only ended things a few hours ago and is now saying he wants to get back together. I just…I love him. I want…I need to figure out where this thing with him is going before I decide to move on. But I promise you, if I move on from Brian, you’ll have first dibs to take me out.”

He sighed and put his head on my shoulder, “You’re right. I’m sorry. I just can’t stand to see you upset, and tonight while we’ve been together you’ve been happy. No stress, just…free. I like seeing you like that. I want to see a smile on your face all the time.”

I smiled and kissed his cheek, “Thank-you. Now seriously, bed time. It’s gonna be a long day tomorrow.” Zacky nodded solemnly and I could see that something was still bothering him, “What’s wrong sweetheart?”

“I just don’t think Brian deserves you, that’s all,” Zacky said softly.

“Why not?” I asked curiously as we moved to the bed.

“Remember how we took Brian out for his bachelor party a couple weeks ago?” He said softly.

I raised an eyebrow at him, “Yeah?”

He groaned inwardly, “Nothing. We had a good time, I just…I don’t think he’s right for you.”

I smiled and pecked his lips as we laid down, “I’ll be okay, everything will be. He’s just in a weird mood. But thank-you.” I laid down in his arms, facing away from him so he could cuddle up to me, which he did and we slowly fell asleep.

Notes

Any ideas where this is going???