Forever is Right Now

A few hours later, we stood around Jimmy’s gravesite in the Good Shepherd’s Cemetery. The service had just ended, Savannah and Tennessee had to leave before we really got much time with them, but they’d bonded with Simone and talked with Matt. Simone promised to let them know when she went into labor so they could meet the baby. They also promised to bring Landon around more, that way we’d still have a piece of Jimmy.

I played with my necklace gently as I watched while his casket was lowered into the ground. Everyone had started dissipating to reconvene at Johnny’s Saloon. I saw Brian and the guys standing opposite me, watching the sight, I saw a few tears but couldn’t judge. This was the most dreadful beautiful day we’d had this winter so far. The sun was warm on our skins, the birds alive and singing from nearby trees.

All of a sudden thinking of birds I couldn’t help but release a bark of laughter. This, as you can imagine, earned me looks of disgust and a bunch of frowns from those who lingered, but I didn’t care. The guys looked up and were staring at me confused. “Hopefully that stallion duck doesn’t waddle past his grave, I think zombie Jimmy would rise and start chasing after him,” I giggled uncontrollably.

This earned a laugh from most of the guys, except Brian. He just gave me a sad smile then stared back at the grave. I raised an eyebrow, because usually he was one of the guys who would laugh non-stop at Jimmy’s antics. It dawned on me that no one had asked him what happened between him and Casey, he focused on the casket until it was all the way down. Matt had wrapped his arms around Simone’s shoulders holding her to him as he buried his face in her neck. Matt was trying to keep his emotions in check and I knew just as I was Brian and Zacky’s way of holding together, Simone was his. Her hand gently rubbed over her belly, almost absentmindedly. “Guys we should go,” Johnny said quietly and slowly, the guys all nodded.

I felt tears fill my eyes, I’d done well not to cry, Jimmy hated when any of us cried but especially Simone and me. I didn’t want to leave, I loved Jimmy, he was so full of life. So amazing, always so happy until he was pissed off. Even so, that didn’t happen that often, atleast not around us. We’d all had our little spats with Jimmy, everyone has fought with everyone. That’s what happens when you’re around family as much as we were.

I had been lost in my thought as two strong arms pulled me into someone’s chest and someone placed a kiss on my forehead. I saw the Marlboro tattoos and hugged Brian tightly, my tears silently flowing onto his shirt. “Come on babe, we gotta go.”

I shook my head, “Please. I just want to stay for awhile.”

Brian sighed smoothing back my hair from my face with one hand trying to soothe me, “We’ll come back. I promise, we just need to go for now. He wouldn’t want us to stay, he’d want us to go drink.” I nodded knowing he was right, my hand finding my necklace for the umpteenth time since we’d been at the grave site. “Come on babe,” he said softly kissing my temple as he gently steered me away.

It was then that I’d noticed that the rest of the guys were waiting over by the cars. I felt as though my feet couldn’t move right, I felt like I kept tripping, but Brian kept me upright. As we got in the car, Johnny joined us once again riding in the backseat. The ride to Johnny’s was short, it was only a mile north of the cemetery. I don’t think anyone said anything, not even Johnny, and usually he always had something smart to say. The tension in the car felt so heavy, I honestly wasn’t sure if I’d recover from what felt like the lack of oxygen. I’d spaced out again as I remained in the car, one question weighing on my mind.

“Babe,” Brian gently shook my shoulder.

“Hmm?” I asked slowly looking at him.

“Babe, you need to breathe. Your face is starting to go purple,” he chuckled jokingly.

I took a deep breath, not realizing that I’d slowed my breathing down to almost nothing from the thick tension. “Bri, why was Casey at the funeral?”

“Em…” he started and I could tell he was getting ready to deflect.

“Nevermind, not my business,” I got out of the truck and closed the door before making my way inside. The energy inside was almost contagious. Everyone from the gravesite had gathered and everyone was talking animatedly about Jimmy.

I walked up to Zacky’s group which included the Berry brothers. I wrapped my arms around Zack as he wrapped one around mine protectively, pulling me closer. My head resting on his shoulder as I listened to Jason tell us all how Jimmy used to mimic everything that he said. He would mouth the same words that Jason was speaking quite often, usually trying to throw him off. Jason would repay the favor most times and then there’d been one time that Jimmy spouted off a small song that Jason couldn’t keep up with.

Everyone laughed and took a shot that was placed on a nearby table, I was handed one and downed it. The JD burning all the way down. “I remember when Jimmy caught us all sneaking out that one night,” Zacky laughed at the memory. “Em had used one of her cards, it was Jason, Brian, Me, Simone, and Em and as we were hailing a taxi down Jimmy caught us. He was bored and so he was on one of his adventures. He was so upset when he caught us leaving to go have fun that he jumped up front with the cab driver.”

I giggled from his side, “He was so crazy that night, dancing with everyone and anyone. His dance moves were so energizing, we couldn’t help but go dance with him.”

Matt B spoke up chuckling, “When was this?”

“Simone’s first night,” I told him smiling. Everyone nodded not throwing out the devil’s name. Everyone knew that’d been Scott’s first night there too. The first night that Brian had caught him hitting me.

Zacky pulled me close and kissed my hair, “That night was fun.” I nodded sighing as I saw Brian at the bar throwing back shots with Johnny.

“Zack?” I mumbled, the others moving onto the next story.

“Hmm?” He said softly lowering his head.

“Will you find out why Casey was at the funeral?” I asked softly nodding at the bar.

“Yeah, I’ll go, you need a drink?” He asked pulling away slightly.

I nodded, “Please. Malibu Dr. Pepper.”

**Brian’s POV**

I walked into the dim bar, seeing that Ember had already sidled up to Zacky and shook my head. She needs to make up her fucking mind. I’m no one’s fuckboy. I growled silently to myself, then thought about what Casey had said and I sighed, running a hand through my hair. I watched as the group around Em laughed and threw back a shot.

I nodded to myself remembering that Jimmy would want us to celebrate his life, not fret over his death before making my way to the bar. I sat next to Johnny and snorted out a laugh at the fact he was already almost through his first jack on the rocks. “God damn, you’re a fucking fish,” I joked clapping him on the shoulder.

He smiled sheepishly, “It’s been a rough day Gates, I just wanna feel better.”

I held up my hands, “I’m not judging man. Just made me laugh.” I hailed down the bar tender, fuck she was a pretty little thing. Stop it, keep it together Gates, you may already have one girl pregnant, let’s not make it two. Not unless it’s with Ember. “Can I get a JD and coke?”

She nodded making it, her denim booty shorts barely covering her ass, her tan long legs ran down into cowboy boots. Her tits held back by what I would guess as a push up bra and clad in a black tank-top. “Here you go Brian,” she said flashing a smile at me.

I heard Johnny let out a chuckle at the look of surprise on my face. “Uhh, do I know you?” I asked curiously.

She laughed, “I’m Tara. We’ve met a few times, but no biggie.”

She moved away and I looked at Johnny raising an eyebrow, “The fuck?”

“She’s a groupie man, she’s been literally eye fucking you for weeks when we’ve come in here. She even asked me the other night where you were,” Johnny chuckled but said it quietly so that Tara wouldn’t hear us.

I laughed and shook my head, they always want a little piece of syn. I felt my ego inflate but I knew that if Em caught me checking out other girls, we’d never get fixed. “Hey Tara, can I get a Malibu Dr. Pepper and another jack and coke?” Zacky asked as he came up to me. “Johnny, Gates,” he acknowledged us as we stood there.

I groaned staring at my drink, “What’d she ask you to do?” I asked glancing up at him.

“Same thing that everyone else wants to know, what you and Casey were talking about,” Zacky said as Tara brought him the drinks and he paid her with a tip.

I held my drink with both of my hands, my fingertips barely touching, “She told me she’s pregnant.” I said softly so no one else could hear me.

Johnny clapped a hand on my shoulder, “Dude…I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.”

“Thanks Johnny, very helpful,” I snapped at him rolling my eyes.

“So, she’s pregnant…are you sure that it’s yours? Or that she’s even telling you the truth? I mean you remember how—“ Zacky stated to me.

“Yeah, yeah I know she was manipulative and pushy and over dramatic. I know all this. I kicked her out of Jimmy’s funeral, I haven’t called her. I don’t really want to,” I sighed running a hand over my face.

Zacky gently squeezed my shoulder, “We’ll figure it out Bri, don’t give up hope yet. But I’m not telling Ember for you, this needs to come from you. I’ll get ahold of Tennessee tomorrow and see if she knew or knows anything. I don’t think they’re close anymore, but I know they still talk.”

I nodded sighing, “I don’t want to ruin Em’s night. Just tell her it’s stress and I’ll tell her tomorrow. I’ll even tell Matt before I tell her. That way he has a heads up when she tries to bolt.” I downed my drink. “I gotta get out of here, make sure she gets back to Matt’s safe?” I asked Zacky leaving a few dollars on the bar.

“Yeah, of course man, just make sure you tell her soon. She hates when she’s kept in the dark,” Zacky stated but we both knew it was unnecessary. We’d been friends with Ember since forever. She even used to tag around with Matt to hang out with us. I nodded and clapped Johnny on the back before walking out and driving home.

Notes

Alright guys, looks like we have about 3 chapters left. :)

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