Forever is Right Now

It’s been 9 months since I was in a coma, 9 months since the love of my life asked me to marry him. 9 months since I found the inner strength to face what has happened, and to overcome the traumatic issues. It’s been 9 months since I realized how much my family truly cares about me.

In the past 9 months, I’ve fought a shit-ton of bricks loaded with self-loathing, depression, fear, and ultimately guilt. I’m nowhere near 100% fixed, but I’m well on my way. In 72 hours, at midnight on New Years Day, I’ll become Mrs. Brian Haner Jr. I’ll be married to the man of my dreams and be walked down the aisle by my big brother Matthew Sanders. Or as you may know him, Matt Shadows.

My dress is a beautiful ice blue ball gown with a sweetheart neckline, the skirt while full has a sheer layer that starts on my left hip and gets longer as it goes around. There are sleeves that are sheer with lace on them with a snow flake patter going down my arms. Beading along the waistline and the bodice adding just the right amount of personality to the dress.

Matt, Simone, and Jimmy went with me to pick out the dress while Zacky and Johnny kept Brian busy in the studio with them writing the guitar parts for their next album. Matt had to wipe tears from his eyes when he saw me in the dress while Jimmy jumped up and hugged me then placed the veil on my head. Simone had smiled so wide when she saw the dress that I thought her cheeks were going to explode.

I smiled and looked over at the man lying next to me, his hand on my waist to make sure I was with him. He hasn’t slept a single night without me since I woke up from the coma. His hair was messed up from the amazing sex from the previous night mixed with traditional bedhead. I couldn’t help but sigh happily as I settled back into the covers.

These last 9 months had been amazing. Between the guys finishing their tour in the US, then going to Disney World and Europe just as Jimmy had promised…it felt like a fairy tale. Scott had been tried and with all of our testimonies was securely in a state prison for 15 years due to attempted murder charges. Because we didn’t have proper documentation about the rape or the physical abuse, we couldn’t get the jury to unanimously find him guilty.

I finally felt like everything was coming into focus, we had just gotten back from Europe about 2 months ago and have just been relaxing, the guys have been recording a bit for their next album. However, it was still the early stages of the record, only 2 or 3 songs had been finalized. About a month ago, Simone and Matt invited everyone over to Matt’s place that they have been cohabitating after Matt convinced her to move to Huntington Beach from Kansas.

During that dinner, I had noticed during dinner that Simone wasn’t drinking the wine that they’d poured for everyone else. Instead she’d opted for water. I found that odd because usually she was one of us, drinking constantly. Yes, I know we’re horrible role models for young fans, but apparently I wasn’t the only one to notice that she wasn’t drinking. “What, are you too good to drink with us anymore?” Johnny sassed Simone playfully.

She laughed, “No Johnny, I’m not too good to drink with you guys.”

“Then what is it?” Brian asked curiously as he held my hand under the table.

“Well—“ Simone started

“Is it poisoned!?” Jimmy asked, his eyes getting big and he stared down his glass.

Matt laughed and shook his head, “No Jimmy. We—“

“Well what the fuck is going on?” Zacky asked curiously.

I laughed, “Will you guys shut the fuck up and let them talk?”

Simone flashed me a grateful smile as the guys pouted about getting yelled at. Then she looked at Matt, with such love and passion in her eyes, I couldn’t help but smile at how happy they looked. Matt took her hand and returned the loving smile. In unison they said, “We’re pregnant.”

That was it, the room erupted with whoops and hollers, I all but jumped up and ran over to Mattie and Simone hugging them both tightly. “How far along are you?”

“About 4 months,” Simone smiled and for the first time I realized that I hadn’t seen her wearing anything skin tight for about that long.

“Congratulations!” I smiled as she showed me her tiny bump through her sun dress that fanned out after the empire waist line. I instinctively felt her belly and felt the tears spring to my eyes. I’m gonna be an aunt.

I looked over at Matt who was being bear hugged by Brian and the guys in a group hug. I shook my head and wiped at my eyes, “When are you due?”

“Around May 15th,” she told me as she gently rubbed her belly.

“That’s awesome,” I couldn’t stop grinning and my eyes met Brian. In that instant, I realized that I didn’t want to wait to have a family with that handsome man of my dreams. I wanted kids within the first couple years.

Brian shifted next to me, his eyes staying closed as he pulled me closer. I softly released the breath I didn’t realize I was holding. He had jolted me back to the present, out of my head; for once, I wasn’t locked in a bad memory. I gently stroked his hair and kissed his forehead as he stirred again.

He took a deep breath in, “Mmm…morning.” He mumbled and hugged me closer, then moved his head to my chest.

I giggled, “Good morning Mr. Haner.”

He smirked and nuzzled my chest, “Mmm, call me Mr. Haner and you may get playtime before breakfast.”

I rubbed his back, lightly tracing my nails over it, earning another small groan from this amazing man in my arms. Unfortunately our good morning ended abruptly as Brian’s phone rang out loud and obnoxious, signaling that it was Johnny.

“You need to change his ringtone, that’s not nice,” I laughed as he rolled over.

“Yeah, I know,” he laughed. “Hey short-shit, what’s up?” He asked as he answered. I watched Brian’s body language, he went from relaxed to tense before he sat up, immediately walking around the room, “What do you mean? When did that happen?” I instantly became concerned, it wasn’t like Brian to pace, even when bad news reached his ears. He was usually very timid and laid back. This was something major. “Where do we meet up? What the fuck even happened?” He ran his hand through his hair angrily.

“Brian??” I started and he put a finger up to me so I sat back curiously, sitting up fully watching him move back and forth.

“Shit…have you called Matt and Simone?” he asked. “Alright, I’ll call Matt, Ember and I will be there shortly.” He paused listening to Johnny. “Alright, hang in there man. We’ll be there shortly.” He paused again his eyes filling with tears as he averted them from me. “Alright. Love you too.” He hung up and sat down on the bed…his hands going into his hair. He curled over, his elbows on his knees, he was almost pulling at his hair when his shoulders began to shake.

I was immediately out of the bed and rushed over in front of him, “Hey…” I hugged him to me, “Talk to me. What’d Johnny say? What’s wrong?” I asked holding him to me.

Brian pulled away from me after a couple minutes and wiped at his eyes, “It…It’s Jimmy. He’s gone Em.”

Notes

Hey guys, thank-you for being patient for the sequel. I know it's a rough chapter, but hopefully you liked it. Comments and votes are appreciated :)