We ended up at Brian’s. Mr. and Mrs. Haner weren’t home which according to Zack was “perfect.” Brian’s face when he saw me, however, told a different story.

“Dude, what the fuck are you doing bringing her here? Are you guys back together or something? If Michelle finds out she’s here, she’s going to kill all three of us.” Brian pulled Zack to the side but wasn’t even attempting to whisper.

I felt awkward. I picked at my bandage on my arm and looked down at what I was wearing. For the first time all day, I’ve realized how ridiculous I looked. Zack had me dressed in a pair of sweats and a super long shirt that could be worn as a dress. My arms were bandaged, and I hadn’t looked in a mirror, but I could only imagine how shitty I looked.

Zack and Brian were still talking. I knew Zack had a lot of explaining to do, I just wished I didn’t have to be here for it. After another moment Brian shook his head and then came back to the living room.

“And you owe me another shirt,” Brian says as he sits down on the chair. Zack sits beside me and grabs my hand. “So, what happened?”

“Um…is it okay if I go change?” I ask before Zack could answer.

“Sure,” Brian told me. “You can use my bathroom. It’s up the stairs, second door on the left.”
I nod and mumble a thanks before grabbing my duffle bag and heading up the stairs. I enter the bathroom and shut the door behind me before taking my first glance in the mirror since my suicide attempt. I was right, I looked horrible. I began to take the bandages off my arms.
None of my cuts were deep enough to cause severe damage and the bandages just caused attention to them. I pulled my hair into a ponytail and turned on the sink, splashing cool water on my face.

I pulled off my clothes, ignoring how bad my muscles ached and dropped them to the floor. I slipped on the first long sleeved outfit I got my hands on and dabbed a bit of concealer on my face before leaving the bathroom and heading back downstairs.

Zack and Brian were talking on the couch and not paying any attention to me. I wanted to go back upstairs but instead, I set my duffel down and quietly slipped out the front door. I didn’t know where I was going to go, but I knew I didn’t want to be there while Zack explained why he showed up at Brian’s house, bloody. I didn’t know what all Zack was going to tell him and
I didn’t really care at this point, I just didn’t want to be there while he did it.

After a few minutes, I stood outside a white house with the words “Paulhus” written on the mailbox. I took a deep breath and proceeded to the front door. Gena answered the door a few seconds after I rang the doorbell. She looked even more surprised than Brian to see me.

“Sheridan…” She started, stepping out of the house, and closing the door behind her. “Wait, I know what you’re going to say and I’m sorry. Okay? I am really sorry for lying about what happened. I planned on telling them the same lie I told the cops but…” She trailed off.

“But what, Gena?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know. It just didn’t come out. So, I told them you did it.”

“You did this because it kills you to see me with Zack!” I accused.

She scoffed. “I’m the one that told him to go see you yesterday.”

“That doesn’t make this better Gena! You knew everyone would react the way they did after you told them what you told them and you did it anyway! Fuck you! Why wouldn’t you just tell the police the truth anyway?”

“Can you keep your voice down, please? My parents are right inside,” She told me in a hushed voice. I scoff and roll my eyes. “He hit me, Sheridan. You wouldn’t understand.”

“I wouldn’t understand? Why do you think I warned you about him, Gena?” I asked her.
Gena doesn’t reply immediately. After a minute she crosses her arms. “I think you should go.”

I laugh humorlessly. “Fine but Zack knows the truth now and he’s telling Brian as we speak and I’m sure he will tell Michelle who will tell her sister. So, you better fucking get to them before someone else does. They’ll know by tomorrow regardless.” Gena looked horrified for a moment, then she glared at me and wordlessly went back into her house.

When I got back to Brian’s, he was sitting on the couch. Zack wasn’t in sight, but I heard the shower running upstairs. Brian glanced up at me and his entire face was white like he had just seen a ghost. I immediately felt awkward and wondered if it was too late to turn around.

It was. “Hey,” he said. He stood up from the couch but didn’t move again. “Uh…Zack…Zack was worried about you when he realized you took off. He uh…you should…probably go tell him your back.”

I nod and begin to climb the stairs. I knock gently on the door before cracking it open. “Zack, I’m back.”

The scraping of curtain hooks against curtain rod causes me to flinch, it was like nails on a chalkboard. “Where did you go?” Zack called out to me.

“I…went to see Gena,” I told him.

Zack didn’t answer for a moment. “Okay,” he called back. “You’ll tell me about it when I get out?”

“I will,” I tell him, shutting the door before he could scrape the hooks against the rod again.

I take a deep breath before walking back down to the living room. Brian still stood in the same spot he did before I went upstairs. “Sheridan,” he started but I cut him off.

“What all did he tell you?” I know I said I didn’t care what he knew, but I did. I didn’t want him to think of me any different than he did before. I didn’t want to be treated any different. I didn’t want him to look at me the way he was looking at me.

“He basically told me how much of a dick we were to you,” Brian says. “I know we’re not, like…best friends but Michelle thinks of you like a sister. Well, at least she did before the whole Gena thing went down. Anyway, I’m so sorry about everything that happened to you. Zack didn’t go into detail about everything…but he told me why you had to leave –” he must have seen the expression on my face “– No, no, don’t be mad at him. He wants to protect you, okay? The only reason he told me is because he knows you need people around you right now. Don’t worry. I’m not going to tell anyone. Zack and I are going to come up with a plan. Um…I don’t know what it is yet, but I do know we’re going to tell everyone else the truth about what really happened to Gena.”

I nod, so Zack told him about the rape and about what really happened between Gena and Eli, did he tell him about the attempted suicide? “What else did he tell you?”

Brian shakes his head. “Nothing. Just about the type of monster Eli is. He wants to protect you but…if I'm being honest here, I think he’s scared. I think he thinks he can’t do it on his own and…I just want to help.”

I told myself that this was a good thing. As long as Brian was willing to keep my secret from everyone else, this was a good thing. There was just one more thing… “Don’t…treat me any differently,” I rub my arm awkwardly, wondering if I was in any type of position to make a demand.

Brian nodded. “Just think of it as another set of eyes watching out for you,” he paused, then continued, “and Zack. I mean, that’s my brother. So, of course, I’ve got to look out for him, too.”

The shower cuts off. I was okay with Brian knowing if it meant he would keep an eye out for Zack. It also meant if Eli ever came after Zack, Zack would have someone to back him up. “Okay.”

Brian smiled at me. “Alright, deal.”

---

I wanted for the police, but they never came. Zack made sure I wasn’t left alone over the next couple of weeks. I wasn’t sure if it was because he wanted to protect me from Eli or if he was scared that I was going to try to kill myself again. Mr. and Mrs. Baker were nice enough to let me stay with them until my mom gets back into town as long as I followed their rules and slept in the guest room. I wasn’t sure exactly how Zack convinced them but I was glad he did. I felt safe for the first time since moving here. I could sleep with my bedroom door wide open if I wanted; I could walk through the house wearing a tank top without the fear of being attacked.

The Bakers were also happy to let me stay with them because I made sure Zack got his homework done every night. Since I missed two weeks of school, I was having to work extra hard on my school work to catch up and bring my GPA back up. I also had to go back to the café and beg Drake to give me my job back since I seemingly quit without notice. Thankfully, he allowed it but told me this was my last chance.

Spending so much time with Zack made our relationship stronger than it was before we broke up. It was great although I still wasn’t completely happy and still found myself in the dark place every once in a while, especially when I was alone. I wasn’t naïve to think just because I got Zack back my depression would disappear. I knew it would take time.

I scoot forward on Zack's bed and close my history book. I can still hear the shower running so I gather my things and head to the guest room. While passing the bathroom door I notice it’s cracked. Zack is singing in the shower and it sounds good. I’m not familiar with the song and it doesn’t sound like an Avenged Sevenfold song, but I stop and listen anyway. Soon, the shower turns off and I hear him pulling back the shower curtain. He’s still signing, and I know I should return to my room, but it was nice to just listen to him.

The door suddenly opened, and I locked eyes with Zack. I felt the heat rush to my cheeks and he smirked. “Well, well, well, what do we have here, pervert?”

Zack’s chest was still wet from the shower and the only thing covering him was the towel wrapped around his waist. My eyes trace the line where the towel met his skin before I forced myself to look back up to his face. He was still smirking.

“I was just listening to you sing,” I tell him with a smile.

“Mhmm, you were trying to get a look at my goods, don’t lie.”

I snort and shake my head. “Oh, my god. Go get dressed.”

Zack grins and grabs my hips pulling me into him. “You’re not the boss of me,” he winks before kissing me.

The television turns off downstairs and Zack separates from me quickly and without hesitation, I head into the guest room. I sit on my bed and open my journal preparing to write in it before bed.

I hear a knock at Zack's door followed by his dad saying, “Your mother and I are going to bed we have to leave for LA early in the morning. Do not stay up all night and be late for school, do you understand me?”

“I can’t be late if I never go,” Zack teased.

“Very funny,” his father replied, then I heard his footsteps descending from the stairs.

I turn my attention back to my journal but don’t get much written before Zack walks in and shuts the door behind him. He’s only wearing his boxers.

“You’re going to get us in trouble,” I tell him as he approaches the bed.

Zack shrugs. “What? I’m just coming to hang out with you.”

“Mhmm,” I grin as he sits on the bed beside me. He gently tugs my journal from my hands and drops it to the floor as he crawls on top of me.

Zack hasn’t tried to have sex with me since he found out the truth about Eli and I was thankful for it. He did like to make out though, which I was fine with. I wanted to be intimate with Zack. I wanted to be intimate with him for a couple of reasons: I thought he was the most attractive guy I’ve ever laid my eyes on for one, and for two, I cared about him more than I had ever cared about anyone.

Before things could get too heated, Zack gave me one last kiss on the lips and laid in the bed beside me. he immediately starts tugging at the blankets and gets comfortable underneath them.

“Uh…what are you doing?” I ask him.

“Going to sleep.”

I purse my lips. “You can’t sleep in here. Your parents will kill me.”

Zack opens one eye and looks at me. “Nah, they like you too much. If they kill anyone it’ll be me. But Dad said I can’t be late for school tomorrow, so I guess I better sleep in here, so you can make sure I’m up.”

I laugh. “I don’t think that excuse will work with your parents if we get caught.”

Zack sits up and starts tugging at the blankets around me. Once they’re free he pulls them over me and then reaches across me and turns out my lamp. “Shh,” he coos. “Go to sleep.”
Zack pulled me against him and his lips found my shoulder in the darkness. “Hey, Sheridan?”

I felt warm, safe and suddenly sleepy. “Yeah?” I whisper.

He doesn’t reply and I think he fell asleep. I snuggle deeper into his chest, get comfortable and close my eyes. I’m just about to doze off when he finally replies. “I really do love you.”
My breath got caught in my throat. After a moment, he continued. “I know you think I only told you a few weeks ago because I was feeling emotional about your…when you tried to…hurt yourself but that wasn’t it. I mean, maybe that’s what made me tell you. Maybe that’s what made me realize that you needed to hear it but…I meant it. I fucking love you. I love every part of you and I think it’s important for you to know that, especially now that you’ve told me all your secrets. I would have told you sooner, but I just didn’t want to scare you off. It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way but, like I said, I just thought you should know.”

I nibbled my lip, took a deep breath and kissed his jaw. “I love you, too.”

Zack pressed his lips to my forehead and I felt him smile. He didn’t say anything, though, and soon we both fell asleep.

Notes

After reading this chapter, I realize how crappy it is. So, I'll eventually rewrite it but until then...hope you enjoy it a little bit. This chapter feels like so long ago because I just finished writing chapter 26(which is SO GOOD)...can't wait for you guys to read it!

Thank you, Kimmie for commenting!! It is a good thing Zack got her out of the house...but you know what they say about good things lasting. ;)

Title credit: Good Charlotte “Life Can’t Get Much Better”