Sheridan

The soft morning light trickled through the crack of the curtains and landed on my skin. A thumb-print-sized bruise formed on my wrist in the last few hours. I was sure if I turned my arm there would be four more finger-print-sized bruises around my arm, but I couldn’t move. My bones felt like cracked glass that would shatter under the pressure of moving. I shift my eyes to the clock instead. It was 7:43 on Saturday morning, but I still felt the 2:13 A.M. weight of Eli on top of me; the grip around my wrist so tight, I thought he was trying to break it; the sting from my underwear torn off still lingered and my eyes were so swollen from crying, I felt like I was squinting. I wasn’t going to make it to my eighteenth birthday. I had to get out of here sooner than that. I didn’t know how but it had to happen. I muster the strength to roll over. I felt like dying but for now, the next best thing would suffice and I would find solace in my dreams.

“Sheridan…” I jump at the sound of my name. “Hey, hey. It’s okay, you’re okay.”

It takes me a moment to realize where I am, what I'm doing, who I am and who is speaking to me. Zack is standing near my bedroom door. The morning sun had gone and was replaced with a barely-there sunset.


“Zack?” My voice cracks and is deeper than usual. “What are you doing here?”

“Uh…well, I just got off work…and it’s Saturday…we…we’re supposed to be going on a
date…” He stutters looking absolutely confused.

Fuck. Had I really forgotten? “Oh, Shit. I’m sorry, Zack. I forgot.” The words slip out of my mouth and I’m jumping out of bed before my brain has a chance to catch up. Cool air hits my thighs and I remember I’m only wearing an oversized t-shirt. My next thought is to jump back into bed but before I can, I notice the corners of Zack’s mouth try to tug onto a smile. He catches himself and stops, suddenly looking upset again.

“It’s…it’s okay,” he tells me. “It’s fine. We can just reschedule if you want or just…not go. It’s obvious you weren’t excited about it, anyway.” He turns to leave.

“No, no. Wait, I want to go. I’ve been looking forward to this.” I tell him.

“Really? Because it’s time to go and you’re in bed asleep…” He didn’t raise his voice but it was clear he was forcing himself to stay calm. I couldn’t let him leave, I couldn’t let things get bad between me and Zack because of Eli and the things he’s done to me.

“I know, Zack. I just had a really rough night. I…I must’ve slept through the entire day. I’m really sorry.”

Zack nods but doesn’t say anything immediately. He still looked upset but the fact that he was still here was a good sign, right? “Okay. It’s fine, but I'm going to get going. I’ll see you Monday at school, okay?”

“No, wait, Zack. I want to go with you, tonight. Give me like fifteen minutes and I’ll be ready.”

Before he can answer, I exit the room and head for the bathroom. As soon as the bathroom door is shut and, out of habit, locked, I begin to strip.

I have to keep myself from standing beneath the water for long, reminding myself that no matter how much hot water I allowed to run over my body, I would never truly feel clean. So instead, I scrub what dirt would come off and then get out and grab a towel before my mind wanders too far.

“Fuck,” I groan. I take a deep breath and slowly let it out. I was so worried about making sure Zack didn’t leave I forgot to grab something to wear. Now, I’ll have to walk in front of him naked…which will probably most definitely guarantee that he won’t leave but that’s also not how I wanted to do it. I chew on the inside of my cheek. Oh, how things have changed. I was such a different girl back in Kansas. For the most part, I was proud not to be that girl anymore, but there were times like these when I wished I still was. She was more confident, she didn’t care what anyone else thought.

“Well, if I'm going to walk out there in just a towel, I might as well look cute doing it,” I whisper to my reflection.

I begin to apply my makeup as quickly as I can and then brush my hair, pulling it into a messy, and still damp, side braid. Afterward, I decide it’s probably best to not leave Zack waiting any longer and before I could give myself the chance to change my mind, I double check that my towel is secured around my chest and I walk out of the bathroom and into my bedroom.

Zack looks up as soon as I enter. His casual expression turns into shock with an instantaneous grin. “Well, I was going to say you went well over your fifteen minutes, but you are so forgiven now.”

“Oh my God,” I laugh, turning away from him out of embarrassment. I begin to dig through my closet. “I just forgot my clothes.”

“I’m fine with you wearing that,” he replies. He seemed to be in a better mood and I was grateful. I did not want to ruin this date.

“Shut up,” I giggle. I actually giggle.

Zack doesn’t reply and I quickly try to find something to wear. Zack isn’t dressed super nice but he is dressed nicer than his usual jeans and band tee. Finally, I decide on a white bohemian style maxi skirt and a maroon tank top.

“You mind stepping out for a second, perv?” I turn, asking.

Zack laughs and hops off the bed. “Okay, but only for a second,” he winks as he passes me and I shake my head, grinning, as he leaves the room.

Once Zack shuts the door behind him, I allow my towel to fall to the floor and pull on a bra and some panties. Thoughts from last night begin to fill my mind and I step into my skirt. I take a couple of steps to the bedroom door and hurriedly pull on my tank top before swinging it open.

Zack kept the demons away. “Miss me already?” He smirks.

I grab a long sleeve cardigan to cover the bruise on my wrist. “You’re a little arrogant, you know that?” I smile, slipping on my shoes.

Zack laughs as we make our way through the house. “I mean, apparently you like it though, otherwise you wouldn’t have agreed to go on this date.”

“Hmm, wasn’t I super drunk that night though?” I gently bump my hip into his.

Zack grins. “Oh, so it’s like that, huh?”

I shrug as we walk outside. “I also like free food.”

“Oh, am I paying? I thought you’d like to pay since you, you know, forgot about the date and nearly slept through it,” he teased.

“I’m sorry!” I laugh. “It had nothing to do with you; I just had a rough night.”

By this point, we were in Zack's sister’s car headed to our destination. Zack grabbed my hand which caused me to look up at him, but he was focusing on the road.

“Well, why don’t you tell me what happened,” he suggests.

This causes me to look back down. What was I supposed to tell him? “Oh, it’s nothing,” I try to shake it off.

“Sheridan…” Zack pressed.

I suppress a groan and avoid his gaze. "It’s really nothing. I just got into a fight with my brother.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Zack asked as he pulled into the restaurant's parking lot.

God, no. I found solace with Zack, I didn’t want to think about the things that haunted me.
“No way. It’s really no big deal. I'm sorry for almost sleeping through our date.”

Zack laughs and parks the car before turning to me. “Seriously, babe, stop apologizing. It’s not as big of a deal as I made it seem. I get it.” My heart skips a beat at his usage of the word babe. it slipped out of his mouth so naturally, so nonchalantly, I wondered if he even knew what he said.

“Thanks, Zack.”

Due to it being well after the dinner rush, there’s no wait at the restaurant and we’re seated right away.

“You know we didn’t have to go out for our first date. You could have saved your money for something with the band,” I tell him as the server disappears to fetch our drinks.

Zack shrugs. “I don’t need money for the band right now. I do need new cleats before baseball practice starts in a few weeks, but I'm not too worried about it right now. Plus, I wanted to take you out.”

I replied, “I didn’t know you played baseball.”

“Oh, I love it. If this band doesn’t work out, I’ll totally pursue baseball.”

The waiter walks up before I can reply. “Are you guys ready to order?”

“I am if you are,” I tell Zack. He nods and begins to order. After we’re done, the server disappears once more. “So, you like playing baseball as much as playing with your band?
That’s special to have two passions like that.”

“Yeah,” he agrees. “What about you? Any idea what you want to do with your life?”

I shake my head. “Not really. It was really important to my dad for me to get into college.
More specifically, an ivy league college, but I’d be lucky to get into community college at this point.”

“Do you know what you want to go for?” Zack asks.

I think about it for a moment. I wanted to give Zack a truthful answer. I wanted to tell him I wanted to be something great, something impressive. Nothing like that came to mind, as a matter of fact, nothing at all came to mind. “I have no idea what I want to do,” I finally reply.

“Well, that’s okay,” Zack smiles. “We’re too damn young to know what we want to do for the rest of our lives anyway. It’s dumb, you know? We’re too young for a beer but God forbid we not know what we want to do for the rest of our lives before we even graduate high school.”

How was it possible that he was able to make me feel better about anything and everything? “That’s a good point.”

“Yeah, you know, if this band doesn’t work out, I think I would take a year off school before I went back…if I went back,” he reveals.

The server comes over and delivers our salads. After asking if there was anything we needed, he walked off and Zack and I turned out attention back to each other. “So,” Zack starts as he begins to unroll his silverware. “Let’s say you decided not to go to college, what would you do? Uh, money isn’t an issue either.”

“Move,” I answer immediately. “I never wanted to move to California anyway so getting away from here would be the first thing I did.” Whether I got into college or not, it was still going to be the first thing I did as soon as I could.

“Wow, harsh,” Zack raises his brow. “California is amazing. I can’t believe you hate it so much.”

“Sorry,” I reply taking a bite of my salad. I didn’t mean to sound harsh. “I mean, it’s not all bad. Home life sucks but I like hanging out with you and your friends. The ocean is so amazing and going to your shows is pretty cool.”

Zack wipes his mouth with his napkin and when he’s done, he’s smiling. “Pretty cool? Only pretty cool? My band is fucking amazing.”

“You’re right.” I laugh. “It’s fucking amazing. Actually, it’s the best part of living in California. My favorite part by far.”

Zack smirks. “You’re damn right it is.”

Notes