Thanksgiving was the next week and it was the first major holiday without my dad. I was always told the first major holiday after a loved one passes away is the hardest. They were lying and it didn’t help that I had to go through it alone. Eli had to work and mom was just gone, but it wasn’t like I wanted to spend time with either of them anyway. The one true person I wanted to spend time with, that I thought would make the holiday go by a little easier, wasn’t available. So, instead, I went to the beach. I spent most of the day crying; I don’t think I have felt so alone in my entire life than I did that day.

School was out on Thursday and Friday for Thanksgiving break. I wished it wasn’t. I wished school was back in session to keep my mind off things. At the beginning of the week, I hung out with Zack's friends. On Wednesday, I had a study session with Michelle and Val. It was nice having friends again. Though, I wasn’t sure if I’d ever get close enough to them to tell them about my past or the truth about Eli.

To prevent stepping on any of my new friends’ toes, I try not to ask about Zack or seem too interested in anything anyone says about him. However, when Val mentioned that he would be back at school the Monday after Thanksgiving, it was hard to hide my excitement.

I don’t think I ever wished a break from school to go by so quickly. Friday night, Val and Michelle invited me to stay over their house for a sleepover. Out of all the girls, Val and Michelle were probably my favourite to hang around. They were both incredibly smart and ambitious; definitely the role model-type my father wanted me to be. They wanted to go to college, they had plans.

“We’re not exactly sure what for yet,” Michelle told me that night.

“Definitely something like business owners,” Val added.

Michelle nodded enthusiastically. “Yes! We have to be our own boss. No way am I taking orders from someone who doesn’t pay me enough for the rest of my life!”

The rest of the night was just that – three girls laughing and talking about their futures, though I didn’t know what kind of future I had. Saturday morning, we went to the beach and hung out some more, this time Leana and Lacey joined us. Gena was supposed to come, too, but canceled as soon as she heard I was coming.

Truth was, though, I was having an absolute blast hanging out with the girls, a part of the reason why I hung around them for as long as I could was because I was tired of being alone and, well, also because I didn’t want to go home. It has been a few weeks since Eli hasn't bothered me. I knew it was eventually going to happen again but if I stayed away from him, I could put it off happening. I only had two hundred seventy-four days until I could get out of here, so if I could avoid him long enough maybe it actually wouldn’t happen again.

Eventually, I went home smelling like the ocean. Eli was home, sitting in the living room in his uniform, his police-issued gun and handcuffs sitting on the coffee table next to his feet.

“Hey, little sis,” he greets as I try to walk past him and into my room. “Grab me a beer from the fridge, will you?”

I didn’t want to give him any reason to get off the couch, so I do as he asks. As soon as I return to the living room and hand him his beer, I turn to go to my room. Mom was gone still and I didn’t feel safe this close to him.

Before I can get very far he speaks up again. “How about a foot rub for your big brother?” He asked. I turn to him and see him smiling, wiggling his toes. I grimace before turning around and continue going to my room. “Oh, come on!” He yelled after me. “I just finished a twelve-hour shift, I think I deserve it!” This time, I ignore him and once safely behind my bedroom door, I shut and lock it.

I spend the rest of the day studying. Eli never bothers me and he even goes to bed early. Around ten that night, I decide to take a shower and get ready for bed. When I walked back into my bedroom, however, it wasn’t empty.

I nearly jumped out of my skin. “Michelle? What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Your brother let me in,” she shrugged. “Get dressed, we’re going out.”

“Out? Out where?” I ask. By this time, she was digging through my closet.

“The guys are playing tonight, remember?” She pulls out a tank top covered in sequins. “Can I borrow this?”

I nod. “Yeah, sure.” Michelle pulls off her shirt and begins to pull the tank top on. “And I thought Matt was going to cancel the show because Zack couldn’t make it.”

Michelle shrugs. “I guess they found out a way to go on without him or something, I don’t really know. I just got the call that said to be there and thought you’d want to come. We’re running late, so get dressed.”

I nod reluctantly and begin searching for something to wear, but in all honesty, I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to go. If Zack wasn’t going to be there, I’d much rather stay home and go to sleep. The sooner I went to sleep, the sooner Sunday would be here and the sooner Sunday was here, the sooner Monday would be here and Zack would be back at school. But, I knew how crazy and obsessive that made me sound so how was I supposed to explain that to Michelle? It was just better to go and have fun. Plus, going out meant not staying home with Eli and that was always a good idea. Within the hour, I was dressed, my hair and makeup were done and I was grabbing my fake ID and some cash and we were walking out the door.

The gig isn’t at the same club as the Halloween gig. It’s smaller and there are fewer people here. There’s no bouncer at the door and no bar on the inside. The band on stage is in the middle of a song and it takes me a brief second to realize I know the screaming girl on stage.

“What the hell?” Michelle cursed looking up at her sister on stage. “They must have had to go on early for some reason, I know we’re not that damn late.”

My eyes scanned the stage. Brian and Johnny were on the same side of the small stage and Val was handing the mic back to Matt before stepping back into the crowd. My heart nearly jumped out of my chest as my eyes moved to Jimmy. Zack stepped into view, smirking and looking around the room as he played his guitar.

We make our way to the front of the small crowd, me more impatiently than Michelle. We join Val, Leana, and Lacey in the front. Gena is missing from the group and I couldn’t help but smile, though, I didn’t want to get my hopes up. The building was small but so was she, she could be hiding anywhere.

Before I can think much more about it Zack catches my attention. He steps directly in front of me and the rest of the girls. Our eyes connect and he winks as he plays a riff. I feel myself grinning and look away as he steps back and Matt steps forward.

“Did you know he was going to be here?” I asked Michelle.

She shook her head but didn’t verbally reply. She kept her eyes on the other guitarist, a huge smile on her face.

I couldn’t help but wonder if Zack was already ungrounded. If he was, how long had he been ungrounded for? What if he had been ungrounded for most of this time and was just avoiding me? I was pretty honest with him about my past and baggage the last time I saw him, maybe I scared him off.

Suddenly, I get an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. What if all the while I was counting down the days until I got to see him, he was hoping never to see me again. Fuck. I shouldn’t be here. I should have just waited for him to approach me first…

But he smiled at me. He smiled at me so he couldn’t completely want nothing to do with me. maybe I was just overthinking it. I hoped I was.

Before I knew it, Leana was running and jumping into Jimmy’s arms and the other three girls dispersed as well. I stood in the same place, attempting to keep a visual on Zack out of the corner of my eye. Actually, I was trying to discreetly keep an eye out for Gena approaching Zack. She had to be around here. She’s been around him every day, so why would she miss one of his shows?

“Hey, you.” My thoughts are interrupted by the two words. Zack is standing there with a smile on his face and a bottle of water in his hand.

“Hey, yourself,” I say, smiling.

He nods his head towards the exit. “I need some air. Come with me?”

I nod and follow him towards the exit. Michelle and Brian are already outside, leaning against the building and making out. Zack sees them, too, and chuckles before turning to me.

“I told you I was going to make you come to every show from here on out, didn’t I?” Zack grins, digging in his pocket. He fishes out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.

“That you did,” I smile as he lights one of his cigarettes “I didn’t think you’d be here.”

Zack smirks as he takes a long drag and lets the smoke disperse. “Surprise.”

“How long have you been ungrounded?” I ask him, though I'm not sure if I wanted to hear the answer.

“Oh, I’m not,” Zack says with a slight chuckle.

I didn’t understand. If Zack wasn’t ungrounded then what was he doing out and about? Unless… “You snuck out?”

Zack laughs. “Oh, come on. What do you expect? I wasn’t going to miss a gig. Plus, it just so happens my parents had out-of-town plans tonight, so…”

“I can’t believe you snuck out,” I laugh, but I could believe it.

Zack shrugs. “What? It’s not my fault they trust me.”

I shake my head, grinning. “You’re going to get into so much trouble.”

He tosses his cigarette to the ground and stomps it out. “They’ll never find out…and if they do, well, it’s totally worth it.”

I raise my brow. “That good of a show?”

Zack smiles at me for a moment before shaking his head and looking down to the ground. “No, no the show kind of sucked, honestly. It’s just, uh…well, I got to see you, so…” he trails off. I feel the heat rise to my cheeks and he smirks, clearly satisfied by my reaction. “Like I said, worth it.”

My mind was going one hundred miles a second. Zack wanted to see me. Forty minutes ago, I was stressing because I thought he had been avoiding me but now the truth comes out.

The truth came out and all I can do is stare at him with a dopey grin on my face. My mouth wouldn’t form the words and even if it would, I wasn’t sure what I would say. Hell, maybe it’s just another thing I'm reading too much into.

“What are you guys doing out here?” Someone asks us. I look over to see Matt walking up to us.

“Just talking,” I say, wishing he would go away.

“Well, hate to break it up but,” Matt shifts his eyes from me to Zack, “It’s time to go, Cinderella, before you turn into a pumpkin…or whatever.”

“Shit, is it midnight already?” Zack asked.

Matt nodded. “Almost. I’ll go get Val and then I’ll take you home before your parents notice you’re gone.”

Zack nodded and Matt turned around, heading back inside. I was tempted to ask if I could go with them. If Zack was leaving, here was really no point in staying.

“Hey, I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere, okay?” Zack said. The warmth of his fingers on my arms gave me goose bumps. I nod and he walks off, following Matt into the building.

I wasn’t sure what to do so I just stood there. Michelle and Brian are no longer making out beside the building and no one I know is in sight. Thankfully, Zack isn’t gone long. When he comes back he has a set of keys in his hand.

“So, I have to head home. Want me to give you a ride home? Or do you want to stick around a little longer?” He asks.

“What’d you do? Steal Matt’s keys?” I ask with a grin.

Zack chuckles. “he and Val are going to ride with Michelle and Brian.”

“Alright, are you sure you have the time to give me a ride home?” I ask him. I didn’t want him to get caught.

“Of course,” Zack says. He grins and throws his arm over my shoulders. “Plus, we need to catch up.”

“Yeah, Gena has made it a little hard to come talk to you at the café,” I say. It slips out before I realize it and I wish I could take it back. I didn’t want him to think I was jealous or creeping on him.

If Zack thought either of those things, he didn’t let on to it. “Yeah, she’s been up at the café every second of every single one of my god damn shifts.”

We made it to a vehicle. Zack walked to the driver’s side of it as I got in on the passenger’s side. “I’m surprised she’s not here.”

“Yeah, well,” Zack starts the car. The engine comes to life and he begins to pull out of the parking lot. “I didn’t realize I was going to get to go until the last moment. I was supposed to tell her that the gig was still a go.”

“What?” I half-laugh.

“Like I said, she’s been at the café literally every second I'm there. I don’t know. It’s like she’s smothering me,” Zack says.

“Sounds like she wants to get back together,” I mumble.

“What?” Zack asks.

He wasn’t supposed to hear that. “Nothing,” I sigh.

“No, tell me.”

I fumble with my fingers for a moment before replying. “Michelle told me about your relationship with Gena,” I admit. “Your one year anniversary is coming up, isn’t it?”

“Ah,” Zack replies. He doesn’t look at me but instead keeps his eyes on the road. “Well, in order to have a one year anniversary, you have to be with someone for a year and well, if Michelle told you the truth, you know Gena and I broke up two months ago.”

“And then got back together and broke up and got back together…”

“And broke up,” Zack interrupted. “We should have never got back the first time, let alone get back together for a third time. I mean, maybe you’re right. Maybe she does want to get back together but it’s not going to happen.”

I felt myself grinning and had to force the smile to a neutral expression before Zack noticed. “So, what’d you guys break up for in the first place, anyways?”

Zack replied in a nonchalant manner. “Oh, she cheated on me.”

I darted my eyes to him. His eyes were still glued to the road. “She cheated on you? Seriously? With who?”

Zack didn’t answer immediately. “Michael Taylor.”

“The guy you got into a fist fight with?” I ask and he nods. “You kind of left that out when you told me about him.”

“Well, it’s not really something you tell someone,” he replies. “Anyway, that’s what happened.”

I wanted to ask more about it. When did it happen? How did he find out? Was it just a kiss or was it something more? I wanted to be nosey; I wanted to know everything but I didn’t want to ask.

The car ride was quiet for a few moments before Zack broke the silence. “So, how was your Thanksgiving? First one without your dad, that must have been rough.”

“It wasn’t so bad,” I lied. Zack glanced over at me and I could tell he didn’t believe me but it didn’t look like he was going to press it. “I spent the day at the beach,” I told him. “Mom wasn’t home and Eli had to work.”

“Your mom wasn’t home? Was she working or…out of town or something?” Zack asked.

I didn’t know how to answer him. I had already revealed so much of my baggage to him, I didn’t want to tell him about my mother. “Oh, yeah something like that.”

“Oh, well, that sucks,” he commented.

I cleared my throat. “How about yours? Mom and dad keep you locked up in your room or were you allowed to join the festivities?”

Zack laughs. “Yeah, we had family come to town that would ask about me so they couldn’t hold me captive that day, I got a little freedom.”

“Well, good.”

Zack pulled into the driveway at my house. “Well, thanks for the ride home, Zack. I'll see you I school?”

“Yeah,” he smiles. “I'll see you Monday.”

Again, I can't help but grin ear to ear. “Okay.”

I pull on the door handle and iron the door but before I can step out, Zack's hand is wrapped around my arm. “Hey, Sheridan?”

I turn back to him “Yeah?”

“I uh…I've been doing some thinking and…” Zack trailed off. His eyes shifted from me to something behind me and he held his gaze. I narrowed my brows before turning around. I get an uneasy feeling as I see a figure stumbling up to the front door.

As soon as she reaches the porch she starts to dig in her purse and then slides down to the ground. “I have to go,” I told Zack before stepping out of the car. I close the door and begin walking to the front door, completely humiliated.

The feeling increases when I hear the car shut off and the door close. Zack catches up with me just as I reach my mom. “Sheridan, is that…” he trails off.

I ignore him as I try to pick my intoxicated mother off the ground. It doesn't take Zack long before he decides to help. He helps pull her to her feet and, in silence, I unlock the door. Zack carries her into the living room.

“You can just put her there,” I say, pointing to the couch. Zack does as he's told and gently lays her down. She mumbles something but we ignore her.

I continue standing by the door and avoiding Zack's eyes. He stands there for a brief moment before stepping up to me. “This is why your mom wasn't home for Thanksgiving?” I don't answer him. “Sheridan…” I nod and he sighs. “That's tough. I'm sorry, Sheridan.”

I clear my throat. “It's fine, I should get her to bed.”

Zack nods. “Okay. I'll see you later?” I nod and give him a weak smile. He returns it before stepping out of the house and I close the door behind him.

Notes

I hope there are not too many typos in this chapter. I think it's so boring I can't even force myself to read through it and fix any mistakes. Sorry about that! Thank you so much for reading!

Thank you to AvengedLover, HometownGlory and MeRi for commenting!

Journal entry can be found here.

Title credit: Garth Brooks "It's Midnight Cinderella"