Don't You Dare

The knuckles on Brian’s right hand were white as he gripped the steering wheel, looking straight ahead and driving in silence. Aubrey didn’t speak a word either, giving him time to process his thoughts and emotions, only speaking to give him brief directions to her apartment.

He was still fuming when they got there. He pulled into a parking space and shut off the rental car but didn’t get out. She stayed put too, giving him time to regain his composure.

When he finally stirred, she did too, following suit as he got out of the car and grabbed their bags.

She led him up the stairs and to her apartment then unlocked the door.

“This is it,” she said quietly as she flipped on the lights.

He walked through the threshold behind her then dropped their bags and shut the door.

“Living room there, kitchen there,” Aubrey announced as she pointed out each of the rooms that were within sight from the doorway. “Bedroom and bathroom are down there.”

He took it all in, nodding, surveying her home with his eyes. It was small but nice. And it was her home. It was where he wanted to be.

But Aubrey could still feel the tension radiating off of Brian. She turned to face him to see his jaw tight and his brow tense.

She took a step closer to him. “Bri-”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” He interrupted curtly.

“But you can’t just-”

“I said I don’t want to talk about it,” he uttered, closing his eyes. “I don’t want to talk at all.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. She inhaled to say more but before she emit a single sound, he grabbed her by her waist and spun her around then pressed his lips to hers forcefully as he backed her up against the door.

“Shut up,” he muttered against her mouth. “Shut up.”

She wanted to be mad that had just told her to shut up, but she knew that he wasn’t trying to be rude. She knew he wanted her to stop talking and that the only way she would is if he was blunt about it. She could tell he wanted to just forget about what happened, forget about the fact that he was leaving her soon, forget about everything.

“Make me,” she challenged in a breathy voice.

“What?” He asked, breaking away to look at her face. He was still trying to keep it together but he had so much pent up in his mind and in his body from the whole day. And it sounded like she was giving him permission to let it all out. He eyed her cautiously.

“Make me,” she repeated with a nod. She wanted it. She wanted him to take it out on her, on her body.

His grip on her hips tightened, nearly painful. He pulled her a few inches closer to him then pounced, slamming her back against the door as his lips met hers again. She kissed back feverishly and he thrusted his hips against hers forcefully. She moaned when he wrapped his hand around her neck, clutching it gently but firmly, holding her against the door. He was taking control in such an intimately daring way.

His hands snaked up her shirt, and he briefly broke their kiss as he removed her shirt before he flicked open her bra. Once it was unhooked, he yanked it off of her then tossed it across the room. He attached his lips to her neck and began kissing and biting the soft skin along her neck and shoulders.

She tried to bring her arms around his neck but he was all about her right now, so he quickly grabbed both of her wrists to stop her. He braced her arms above her head and gripped her wrists with one hand to hold them in place. With the other hand, he cupped her breast in the crook between his thumb and index finger and mauled her taut nipple with his mouth, sucking and nibbling and sending her to a point of pleasure that was so intense it was almost painful.

She cried out blissfully and tried to bring her arms back down to touch him or herself or something, but he held them tighter over her head with a grunt. He brought his lips to her neck again while his free hand hastily ripped open the button on her jeans. He shoved his hand down the front, instantly running his fingers though her slick slit.

A loud moan escaped Aubrey’s lips as a ripple of pleasure rolled through her body. He was being so rough with her, something he had never really done before, and she was already about to burst at the seams.

In one swift movement, he moved his hand off of her wrists and yanked down her shorts and underwear to her mid-thigh then spun her around to where she was facing the door.

“Keep your hands right there,” he demanded when she began to relax her arms.

She did as he said, keeping her hands up on the door and jutting her hips out. He placed one hand above her head, bracing himself on the door as he hovered behind her. He kissed a trail down her shoulders while his other hand roamed the soft skin on her ass, running down her crack to the wetness pooling between her thighs. Without warning, he inserted two fingers into her swollen heat. She let out a small whimper at the intrusion as she pushed back against his hand, wanting more.

He began fucking her with his fingers, kissing her ear, biting her earlobe.

The shorts around her thighs were restricting her legs from spreading further; it was pure torture. She wanted more, harder, faster, but she couldn’t do anything about it. He was in control and he was owning her. It turned her on so much.

He could feel her clenching around his fingers. He knew she was close but she was holding onto her high.

“Come,” he demanded.

With a loud sigh, she did. Her body rolled, her hands squeezed into fists, her forehead pressed against the door. He didn’t stop moving his fingers inside of her until her tense body relaxed. She slumped forward, now leaning against the door on her forearms.

She heard movement behind her as he removed his pants and underwear, kicking them off. He pulled her pants down all the way until they were off and they were both completely naked.

Typically, he eased into her entrance, but not this time. He swiped his hand between her legs and used her wetness to lubricate his cock then shoved into her in one thrust. She inhaled audibly.

He groaned loudly as he pumped into her, gripping her hips tightly with both hands. His fingertips dug into her skin as all of his emotion poured into her. His grief over having to leave her behind in Phoenix. His anger and irritation with that asshole on Warped. His conflict of being so in love with her but so far away from her at all times.

She pressed her palms against the door to steady herself. He was pounding so hard and so deep into her that if she didn’t brace herself, he’d probably fuck her straight through her front door.

He wasn’t worried about her climax and he wasn’t worried about her comfort. He wanted to come, hard and inside of her. He wasn’t going slow and he wasn’t savoring the moment. He wanted to fuck her, rough.

Aubrey was in heaven. Sure, she enjoyed slow, intimate sex. And she enjoyed heated, passionate sex. But she had never experienced rough, angry sex with Brian, and she was surprised by how much she reveled in it. The fact that Brian was simply using her to get off was turning her on so much.

There was no dirty talk or professions of love. Despite the emotions that drove Brian’s thrusts into Aubrey, they were just having sex. Just getting off. Just feeling good again.

And it did feel good. So good that it didn’t take long for Brian to come. But his orgasm surprised him, exploding out of nowhere with no build-up, no warning. In a split second, it hit him. He let out a deep grunt followed by a loud groan that had him nearly doubled over. His jaw dropped as he held Aubrey’s hips in place against his and stilled his own, allowing his orgasm to flow through him and into Aubrey, pulsating deep inside of her.

She could feel him, throbbing, filling her up. She squeezed her inner walls around him and his hips jerked ever so slightly.

A soft sigh escaped his lips when his orgasm finally subsided.

He pulled out of her slowly then turned her around, backing her up against the door again. But this time was different. He pressed his lips to hers, kissing her softly and cupping her face gently.

When he broke the kiss and eyed her, there was a different look in his eyes, a softer, more tender look. He kissed her again, lazily, his lips lingering on hers. He had gotten out all of his frustration and now he was feeling loving.

He scooped her up into his arms and she wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist.

“Bedroom?” He whispered into her mouth as he palmed a butt cheek in each of his hands to hold her up.

“First door on the left,” she told him.

He made his way to her room, laying her down on her bed then taking her again, but this time slowly. He was in no rush to come, no rush to make her come, and no rush for it to end.

Ø

Neither Brian nor Aubrey slept a wink that night. When he wasn’t buried deep inside of her, he was listening to her talk about her job and all the great things that had been happening. And when she wasn’t writhing either above or beneath him, she was listening to him tell her stories about growing up with Jimmy, Matt, and Val.

It felt oddly domestic when they finally got out of bed at 4 AM. Brian went to shower to get ready to leave. Aubrey went to the kitchen to whip up some breakfast with the few groceries she had in her kitchen.

Brian grew twitchy while they ate. It was early, he hadn’t slept, his energy level was well into the negatives, and he was about to have to leave Aubrey behind.

She could tell he had gotten much quieter since he got out of the shower. She could feel the tension growing between them. It was just like last time. He was going to start something. She would try to keep her anger at bay, try to keep his resentment from heightening, but she was feeling defensive. Why couldn’t he just say ‘see you soon’ and be on his way?

Sure, she didn’t want him to leave just as much as he didn’t want to leave, but it was reality - why did he have to make it more difficult?

They ate in silence until it was time for Brian to leave. Without a word, Aubrey took his plate to the sink to wash them quickly while he went to her bedroom to gather his few belongings.

“Thanks for staying here last night,” Aubrey said softly as she walked into her bedroom, trying to ease the tension in his shoulders.

“Wouldn’t have had it any other way,” he mumbled in response, refusing to look up at her.

She watched him sadly as he continued to collect his things.

When everything was thrown into his backpack, he finally stood up straight and turned around to look at her. She was leaning her body and head against the door frame, wearing his t-shirt, which looked like a dress on her smaller figure. She had a sad look in her sleepy eyes but she tried to smile softly at him. Sleepy, sad, and with tousled hair, she nearly broke his heart.

“Can I keep this t-shirt?” She asked him. “It smells like you.”

His face fell slightly but the tension was still lingering. He walked over to her, cupped her face with both hands, and nodded. “Of course you can.”

His thumbs caressed the soft skin on her cheeks before he placed a soft kiss on her lips.

“What can I do to make you come back with me?” Brian whispered into her mouth. “You know that I’ll do anything for you. Anything.”

“I wish it was that easy,” Aubrey sighed. “But you know I can’t.”

He dropped his hands from her face then walked over to get his backpack off of her bed. The mood shifted a little, from sad to frustrated, and it was palpable.

“I’m always gonna try anyway,” he replied, slinging his backpack onto his shoulders. “I understand you need to be on your own and get your life together without me, but I hate it. It hurts, and I can’t fucking handle it.”

“It hurts me too,” she replied, not sure what else to say.

“I don’t know. You usually seem to handle it pretty well, Aubrey,” he spat, feeling his blood pressure rising. “Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who wants to make this work.”

She stilled. Staring at him, frozen in place, trying to determine if he really did just say that to her. It felt like a strong slap to the face.

“Excuse me?” She blinked. “The only one? Did I not just take off of work and fly to California to spend a whole week with you?”

“You know what I mean,” he replied with slight dejection, realizing he had struck a nerve with her.

“No, I really don’t!”

“I’m always begging you to stay and you’re always leaving anyway,” he clarified.

"Why the hell can't you stay with me?” She wondered. “Why do I always have to stay with you?”

“Because we can both live off of my salary! I can’t live off of your entry level assistant editor job!” He threw that fact in her face. “You can barely live off of your job!”

“Exactly!” She shouted. “That’s exactly my point! I do not want to live off of you, Brian. I can’t be dependent on you. But with my pitiful little entry-level assistant editor job, one day, I will be able to work and be with you! I’m just asking you to hang on until I get there!”

He shook his head. “I don’t know if I can.”

She stared at him. “You’re really gonna do this right before you leave? You really want to end on this note again?” She asked in disbelief.

“It’s not getting any easier, Aubrey,” he sighed. “It’s getting harder.”

“Yeah, it gets a lot harder when you try to fight me on it every time we have to say goodbye,” she admitted.

He shook his head and glanced at his watch. “I gotta go.”

She nodded, knowing it was time, but not knowing what was happening between them. Was he breaking up with her? Were they just fighting?

He headed for the front door and she followed.

“Do you want your shirt back?” She asked him, figuring if he was breaking up with her, he’d want it back.

He glanced over his shoulder at her. He frowned and shook his head. “No, baby. Keep it.”

She nodded as he opened the front door. Was he going to leave without saying goodbye? Without telling her he loved her? What was happening?

“Brian,” she called with a soft voice.

He turned around. His eyes were sad and confused.

She grabbed his face and brought hers so close to his. “I am so sorry that I hurt you so bad every time I tell you that I can’t stay on tour with you, but I promise that everything I do to get my shit together and work on myself is so that I can be with you, so that I can give myself to you fully. I know you don’t understand that right now, but I hope you will one day.”

She kissed his lips gently but didn’t linger long enough for him to kiss her back. When she took a step back, his eyes scanned her face, looking for something, anything to give him hope.

“I’ll call you later,” he said, even though the tone of his voice said that he didn’t believe the words himself.

She nodded then watched as he walked away. When he was out of sight, she shut the door and sunk to her knees, pulling them tight to her chest. She couldn’t stop the tears that fell freely down her cheeks.

~

When Brian got back to the bus, he was surprised to see Jimmy was still awake. Barely, with his eyes hooded and heavy, but he was still conscious, laying on the couch, watching a movie.

“Yoo,” Jimmy greeted when Brian got to the top of the stairs. “You look like shit. Aubrey kept you up all night?”

“Something like that,” Brian muttered, dropping his backpack by the door then sulking over to the fridge.

Jimmy narrowed his eyes at his best friend as he watched him grab a beer from the fridge, pop it open, and guzzle half of it. He figured he’d be sad to leave Aubrey, as they all were, but something about his disposition was different this time. And he didn’t seem even remotely happy to have been kept up all night by Aubrey.

“Yo,” Jimmy called to get his attention.

Brian glanced over at him, raising his eyebrows in response.

“You okay?”

Brian nodded, taking another sip of beer.

“Aubrey okay?”

He nodded again.

“Are you two okay?” Jimmy asked, fearful of the answer.

Something flashed in Brian’s eyes. It disappeared too quickly for Jimmy to determine what it was, but he noticed it, and he knew it meant something.

Brian finally nodded again but didn’t stick around for Jimmy to ask more questions. He took his beer back to his bunk and continued sulking in silence.

He thought about texting or calling Aubrey. But what would he say? Sorry? He wasn’t sorry. Maybe that made him an asshole, but he wasn’t sorry. He wanted her to know how bad it felt to have to separate from her over and over again. No matter how hard he tried to wrap his head around it, he didn’t understand why she was so dead set on staying in Phoenix.

It was great that she wanted a career, great that she wanted to be independent, but he felt like her actions contradicted her words. If she loved him as much as she said she did, missed him as much as she said she did, wanted to be with him as much as she said she did, why didn’t she just drop everything and be with him?

He couldn’t understand it, he couldn’t see it from her point of view, and it was driving them apart.

Notes

Hope you enjoyed! <3