Don't You Dare

“So what, you’re just not going?” Lauren half-asked, half-shouted through the phone.

“I can’t go just for Brian,” Aubrey defended, clutching her phone to her ear.

“The hell you can’t!” Lauren huffed. “I mean, are you just going to do the long-distance thing for the rest of your lives?”

“I don’t know,” Aubrey shrugged. “If he wants that.”

“He obviously doesn’t want that!” Lauren replied. “He wants you with him!”

Aubrey sighed into the phone.

“Look, I love you, girl,” Lauren exhaled with a tad bit more sympathy. “But you are fucking stubborn. You need to man up before he gives up. You need to either tell him how you feel about everything or suck it up and go be with him.”

“I mean, why the hell can’t we just do a long-distance thing?” Aubrey began to feel defensive.

“Do what you want, Aubrey,” Lauren relented. “I’m just saying - he’s not going to wait around forever. Not when he’s surrounded by tons of other ready and willing women.”

Lauren didn’t know if Brian was the type to just shack up with the next girl in line, and she knew her words would be harsh, but her friend needed a swift kick in the ass to realize what she was doing and what she was risking.

The words stung Aubrey’s ears, but she knew Lauren was right.

“I just can’t,” Aubrey stated. “I have to find my backbone. I refuse to get into a relationship with someone when I feel so lost and uncertain of everything. It’s not fair to me but it’s really not fair to Brian. And I owe him way more than that. He deserves so much better than that.”

Lauren sighed. "I’m sorry, Aubrey. You know what’s best for you. I just want to see you happy.”

“I will be,” Aubrey said. “I just have some things to work on first.”

Ø

One Month Later

“Come on, guys,” Val encouraged, clapping her hands at the five members of Avenged Sevenfold who drug their feet toward the bus like half-dead zombies. “Get a move on.”

“Noo,” Jimmy protested with a moan as he dragged his duffel bag on the ground behind him. “Too early to think, too early for load-in, too early to be awake.”

“Not if you never went to sleep the night before,” Johnny added, raising his eyebrows at Brian as they threw their stuff into the storage compartment of the bus.

Brian snorted and rolled his eyes at Johnny’s remark, leaning against the side of the bus with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.

It was 4:30 in the morning, pitch black outside, and they were about to head out for the next leg of the tour. Which is usually exciting once the sun comes up and everyone feels human again. But as the new merch assistant walked passed him, Brian wasn’t so sure that would happen for him today.

Her name was Hannah. She seemed young but she was cute, with short red hair and bright green eyes. She certainly looked the part of an A7X merch girl, way more than Aubrey ever did, with her thick eyeliner and black-on-black wardrobe and black combat boots. She seemed nice enough but she wasn’t Aubrey. And although that wasn’t her fault, Brian could tell the others felt the same way as the day went on.

Val was friendly but kept her conversations with Hannah short and strictly business. Matt and Zack tried to chitchat with her, but it sounded forced and uninspired. Johnny greeted her kindly but didn’t exchange any further dialogue. And Brian was fairly sure that Jimmy didn’t say a word to the poor girl all day.

“I don’t think I really give her a fair chance,” Jimmy whispered to Brian as he plopped on the couch next to him. “But I don’t like the new merch girl.”

Brian chuckled, flipping through a Schecter guitar catalog. “Me either, dude.”

“Figured you’d understand,” Jimmy nodded, crossing his arms across his chest and staring at her.

When Matt and Jason Berry had left the last tour, the guys had no choice but to take Aubrey under their wing and help her get situated. But now that the Berry brothers were back on tour, Hannah had them to guide her through it.

Brian figured they would eventually get used to her and warm up to her, because Avenged Sevenfold has always been a welcoming family, but she would never be Aubrey. She would never be AC Black, the sixth member of their supposed biker gang. That was for certain.

Ø

That night, Aubrey sat at the desk in her bedroom, music blaring, typing away on her laptop, filling out more job applications. The most promising of which was for an assistant editor position for a lifestyle website based out of Phoenix. It wasn’t something she had ever dreamt of doing, but she wanted to try her hand at writing and editing, and if it went well, she could move up to a position where she could eventually work from home. Or from a tour bus.

The ping of an incoming text message pulled Aubrey’s attention away from her computer. She picked up her phone and smiled when she saw she had received a message from Brian.

Despite the distance, the guys and Val had been keeping in touch regularly. Aubrey talked to most of them daily, especially Brian, Jimmy, and Val, and she was still a part of the “tour” group message as well.

She opened the text from Brian. It was the first day of their new tour and she hadn’t heard from any of them all day. She was ashamed to admit that she worried they would officially move on without her soon. But it made her happy to see Brian texting her already. Curiously, she quickly opened the message.

The new merch girl isn't nearly as good in the sack and her blowjobs are sloppy.

She let out a loud cackle and shook her head then texted back: Ha-ha.

The phone began to vibrate and ring, startling her.

“Hello?” Aubrey answered as she got up and walked over to her stereo to turn down the music.

“Jeez, are you at a nightclub?” Brian asked, chuckling.

“It's four in the afternoon,” she stated simply with a laugh.

“I don’t know what time the nightclubs in Phoenix open for business,” he defended.

“Possibly at night?” She suggested.

“Smartass,” he teased. “Where are you really? What was all that noise?”

“I'm at home, nerd. And it's not noise! It's Beyoncé!” She defended.

“Whatever it was, it was loud,” he said.

“HEY! IS THAT AC?” She heard Jimmy’s voice holler in the background.

“Yeah,” Brian muttered away from the phone.

“TELL HER I SAID HI!” Jimmy shouted.

“Jimmy says hi,” Brian’s voice spoke back into the phone.

“I heard. Hi, Jimmy,” she replied.

“She said hi,” Brian spoke away from the phone again.

Simultaneously, she heard a ton of voices begin to shout all at once.

“Jesus. Everyone else says hi too,” Brian said with a laugh.

“Tell everyone I said hi,” Aubrey chuckled.

“She says hi!” Brian shouted over their yelling.

She heard a shuffling noise, what sounded like a door shutting, and then silence, indicating Brian had shut himself in a quieter room, probably the back lounge.

“You should see the new bus, babe,” Brian sighed into the phone.

“It’s nice?” She wondered.

“Yeah,” he exhaled. “It’s great.”

“I’m glad,” she said sweetly.

A short silence fell over them then Brian sighed loudly.

“Dammit, Aubrey, I didn't think I'd miss you this much,” he muttered.

“Yeah,” she agreed. “It sucks going from having mind blowing sex whenever you want, to none at all. For me at least.” She joked but she was also serious.

“Yeah. That's not all I miss though,” he admitted.

“Me either,” she sighed.

"I mean, I've been missing you nonstop since you left but now that we're back on tour and you're not here... I'd kill just to see you behind our merch booth again at this point.” he explained. “I can't stand it. You're supposed to be here.”

“I know,” she replied with a frown, feeling guilty for being so stubborn.

"Everything was just better when you were around,” he said quietly.

She was trying hard to express her feelings, to be vulnerable with Brian like he was being with her, but she could feel the need to joke and keep the air light and playful creeping up into her chest. It was sweet of him to bare his emotions, but she could feel herself resisting, wondering if he was just sex-deprived.

“You’re just saying that because when I was around, you were getting laid on the regular,” she retorted playfully.

“See, I thought that was why too,” he admitted. “I told myself to stop being such a horny bastard. But then I talk to you on the phone and my whole day brightens up. And I realized it’s not the sex. It’s not even how beautiful you are. It’s just you. You brighten my days with just your voice. You make everything better.”

Her heart ached as tears filled her eyes. She felt guilty for being so stubborn. She really did want to better herself and be stronger on her own, but she was denying herself happiness and denying Brian happiness. It was not fair no matter what she chose.

“Aubrey?”

“I miss you too,” she said softly.

"I know you do, sweetie,” he replied, knowing it wasn’t easy for her to admit that. “What’re you doing?”

“Just hanging out at the apartment,” she admitted. “Filling out job applications.”

“What’re you wearing?”

She laughed. “Jeans and a t-shirt.”

He grunted with heat. “Sexiest girl alive.”

“I think I detect a hint of sarcasm,” she replied.

“It’s been nearly a month since we had sex,” he reminded her. “You could wear a full-body jumpsuit and I’d still think you were the sexiest girl alive.”

She laughed, but again, she felt guilty. He really was sex-deprived. And of course the thought of him sleeping with someone else nearly crushed her but did she really expect him to go without sex while she took her sweet time getting her shit together? They weren’t even dating - she wasn’t even ballsy enough to go back out on tour with them - did she really expect that of him?

"Where are you applying to?” He asked.

“What?” Aubrey asked, snapping back into the conversation.

“You said you were filling out job applications,” he reminded her. “Where to?”

“Oh,” she remembered. “It’s for an assistant editor position with a local lifestyle website.”

“Really?” Brian sounded surprised. “Is that something you’ve been wanting to do?”

“Not really,” Aubrey shrugged. “I think I would enjoy it though. I’m just looking for something new, something that allows for growth and a potential career. I’ll be able to work from home eventually too.”

“That sounds great!” Brian encouraged. “I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks, babe,” she replied.

She could practically hear him smiling through the phone at the use of her pet name.

“Excited for the show tonight?” She asked. “First show of the tour!”

“Always,” he admitted. “Would be more excited if AC Black was still our merch girl though.”

“Eh, I hear she’s a total slut,” Aubrey joked, again on the defense of emotions.

“Yeah, I heard she was constantly trying to bone someone in the band,” he played along.

“She was?” Aubrey asked with shock.

“Yep,” Brian confirmed, chuckling.

“Figures,” she said with faux disgust. “I bet she was trying to get with the guitarist.”

“Probably the guitarist with the big dick,” he continued.

“Oh, she tried to sleep with Zack?” Aubrey teased.

“HA. HA. HA.” Brian shouted with sarcasm.

She let out a loud wild giggle.

Oh, how he missed that sound.

Ø

The pinging sound of an incoming text message had quickly become Aubrey’s favorite sound. Especially when it indicated a video message from Valary.

Aubrey watched the short clip of the guys playing on stage, her heart swelling with pride. The sound was distorted and the video was a little shaky, but she could make out the usual sights - Matt leading the crowd, Johnny bobbing his head, Zack and Brian dueling guitars, and Jimmy’s arms flailing behind his oversized drum kit.

She replied to Val: Thank you for sending me that! Makes my heart so happy! They’re killing it - as always.

Valary responded: Figured you’d want to know how your boys were doing tonight - hope you know how much we ALL miss you!

On the brink of tears, Aubrey sent Val a bunch of heart emojis.

Hours later, as Aubrey was fast asleep in her bed, her phone began to ping again. And again. And again.

Blindly and in a confused daze, she reached over and grabbed her phone off of her nightstand to check her messages.

Brian H.
2:14 AM
Mis yu

Brian H.
2:16 AM
Sorry stupid drunk, jus missin yu

Zack B.
2:18 AM
You have got to come see us soon - GATES WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT YOU

Zack B.
2:18 AM
I mean he’s drunk as shit but holy fuck.

Zack B.
2:19 AM
Just realized you’re probably asleep - sorry!!!

Aubrey replied to Zack: It’s okay! I will never be mad about waking up to texts from y’all.

Then she replied to Brian, a little less apprehensive than usual about flirting: Miss you too, baby boy.

Ø

A few days later, Aubrey sat on her bed, on the phone with Brian. She had been spending a lot of time on the phone with him lately, which she adored, but she couldn’t help but wonder what he was doing when they weren’t on the phone.

Had he reverted to his old touring ways of hooking up with random girls? Had he actually moved on to the current merch girl? She knew she had no right to be mad - she was the one staying home when he was begging her to be with him - but she was still curious.

“What’re you doing?” Brian asked. “Let me guess - at your apartment, alone.”

“Um,” Aubrey looked around. “Yep.”

“I'm worried about you,” he admitted quietly.

“Why? I’m fine,” she insisted.

“You’re just always at home and always alone,” he reminded her. “You need to get out, go have some fun.”

“I’m good,” she replied. “I get out and have fun. Sometimes.”

“You know, you don’t have to come out and stay for the whole tour,” he reminded her. “You can come out for just a few days at a time.”

“I know,” she said. “How was the show last night?”

“It was good,” he sighed.

“That's good,” she replied, knowing he was annoyed with her for changing the subject. She was stubborn and terrible at communicating - she was surprised that he hadn’t given up on her yet. Well, for all she knew, he had. “How is everyone else doing?”

“Everyone’s great,” he answered. “They ask about you all the time, even though I know they talk to you at least every other day.”

She laughed. “Yeah between Jimmy and Val, I stay updated on what everyone is up to.”

“Then why'd you ask me how they were doing?”

“Just trying to keep the conversation going so I don't ask if you've met anyone yet,” she carelessly blurted, immediately scrunching her nose at her word vomit.

“Don't be ridiculous, Aubrey,” Brian scolded. “I don't know what the hell’s going on between us but I'm not just going to go out searching for girls until we figure it out.”

She hesitated for a minute but had to ask, “What is going on between us?”

“Seems like the same thing that's always been going on between us. Pretending like it's nothing when it's really everything. Ignoring the fact that we're infatuated with each other. Keeping our distance unless we're fucking.”

She sighed. “Nailed it.”

He wasn’t ready to have this conversation. He knew it wouldn’t go the way he wanted and he knew she would crack a joke soon and throw her guard up in a matter of seconds, so he decided to beat her to it. “Speaking of… we’re on our way to Canada, have you ever driven to another country for a booty call?”

She chuckled, which made him smile, because damn, he missed her laugh.

Notes

First, I just want to apologize for being MIA for nearly two weeks and for taking so long to get this update out! Shit has totally been hitting the fan at work the last two weeks, and grad school has been kicking my ass this semester so I have been BUSY.

With that said, unfortunately, I have to put this story on a hiatus of sorts. And by that, I only mean that updates will be a bit slower than usual, I will still actively work on this story in the little free time that I have, but I won't be able to pump out chapters weekly for a while. On the brightside, things are settling down at work and my classes will be ending in a few weeks so the hiatus should only be very temporary!

Thanks so much to my loyal readers - you guys are so important to this story and I so appreciate everyone who reads and comments and subscribes, etc! Xoxo