I stepped out in the darkened alleyway. A cold breeze drifted up, chilling me to the bone. I stopped. What was I doing here? Further down the alleyway, a dim light casted a sickish yellow light, barely illuminating the passageway. Discarded beer bottles and cigarette buds were strewn about other discarded trash. I inhaled and stepped cautiously over such items, not wanting to fall. God can only know what kinds of bacteria thrived out here.

The alley was eerily quiet, well save for the occasional footfall. Fear settled in as I creeped further down the alley. The hairs on the back of my neck were standing up and sweat matted my hair. Every step I took sent shivers down my spine. Where the fuck was he? I frantically searched the shadows. I knew it wasn’t the smartest thing to do – chasing after someone down a dark alley alone at night. Hell, Daddy taught me better, but sometimes one needed to do stupid things.

I was slowly inching closer to that sickening glow, my mind racing. Where the hell had he gone to? Why was he so angry? Was he angry at me? Irrational fear gripped my heart. I gulped in air, unaware that I had been holding my breath, my lungs burning. I could feel my heart pounding against my chest.

Suddenly a, low sultry moan broke the silence. I froze. Blood pounded in my ears and a cold, unforgiving hand clenched my heart. Internally, a tiny voice yelled at me to go back, to abandon this stupid venture and turn around. I didn’t listen. Curiosity had always been my downfall. So, I mustered up my fleeting courage and took an unsteady step closer.

I had finally reached that sickly glow. Hesitant, I stayed concealed in the shadows; afraid to reveal myself. Another moan broke the silence, this time accompanied by a quieter, sucking sound. I squinted through the darkness, trying to discern from where the noises were coming from. My eyes had finally found what I had been searching for. I choked back my gasp.No. No. No. This can’t be happening! I frantically yelled in silence. My eyes welled up with hot tears. He was here, but so was she – whoever she was. My hands balled into fists, nails digging into the skin of my palms.

I stood frozen, watching as her blonde head bobbed up and down in his crotch. I watched as Jimmy kneaded his hand through her hair, his features locked in pure ecstasy. I wanted to close my eyes, to turn away but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to. I stayed and watched with blurry eyes as he leaned against the wall, the blonde kneeling before him eagerly moving with him. I watched as she ran her hand up his naked thigh, inching closer and closer to his crotch. He let out a moan. I bit my lip as a familiar, hot feeling rushed over me. I felt my knees go weak and my heart fluttered. Quickly, my body warmed and tingled. I gasped.

Jimmy’s eyes flew open and instantly met mine. Lust changed to confusion which in turn changed to shock. I was frozen under his gaze. Tears finally broke free. Choking back my sobs, I spun around and ran back down the alleyway, the sound of my heels hitting the unforgiving ground echoing off the walls. I felt my heart shatter into a hundred tiny pieces. A tiny voice at the back of my mind yelled at me to slow down. I knew how I was acting was ridiculous. I knew I shouldn’t be this upset. I had no reason to be. But I was and so I kept running.

I ignored the throngs of people and the loud music. I ignored the angry and curious looks partygoers were throwing my way. I ignored the ‘heys’ and ‘watch its’ as I shoved my way through the crowd. I needed to get out of here. I needed to go home, to lock myself up. I needed my Daddy. I choked back another sob. Daddy wouldn’t understand. Daddy wouldn’t care. After all, how can I be in love with his best friend?

I pushed past the last crowd of fans and burst through the entrance. The familiar cold hit me. I gasped for breath as fresh tears rolled down my cheeks. Unable to go any further, I fell back onto the wall where Caoilinn had thrown me into earlier. Heaving and panting, I ripped off my heels. With aching feet, I took to running again. The faster I ran, the faster I’d get home, the faster I’d get away.

Within seconds the rough surface of asphalt dug into my feet. I winced as pebbles and God knows what else cut into my skin, but I kept running. I had to keep running. Soon Johnny’s was far behind me, the dull thumping of music was rapidly fading. I slowly began to slow down, my lungs screaming in pain. The cold air burnt my throat and stung my cheeks. I looked around, suddenly aware that I had no idea where I was. I halted. My surroundings were unfamiliar. I shivered and crossed my arms across my chest, hugging them to me. I gazed left then right, trying to identify something that would tell me where I was. Nothing. Nothing stood out. There was nothing. I was lost.

A car slowly drove by, creeping along the streets, prowling for entertainment. I swallowed thickly. Dread settled in my heart. I sunk to the ground, hopeless; back was pushed up against a brick wall. I brought my knees to my chest and buried my face in them. This night couldn’t get any worse.

The sound of a car door closing caught my attention, but I didn’t look up. If I was going to die, I’d rather do it not knowing who had taken my life. Hurried footfalls broke the silence. They were getting closer and closer. I tried pulling my knees closer to my chest, trying to make myself as small as possible.

“Aislinn!”

I heard his voice but I refused to look up. Suddenly I was enveloped in a pair of arms and lifted to my feet. A familiar scent attacked my nostrils as he firmly held me in his arms; my body shaking with tears. I hadn’t realised that I had been crying. Something in me snapped. Violent sobs shook me, you know the ones that make you snot up.

“Hush now,” he murmured, lips gently pressed to the top of my head.

I tried to calm down. I tried to tell myself that I was overreacting. I knew I was overreacting. But it hurt. It hurt so much. I was in love with a man that would never love me back. I was in love with my father’s best friend – a man who would never see me the way I saw him. My heart ached, and tears

His cell phone rang. I felt him shift as he dug for his phone.

“Hello,” he answered before pausing. Muffled yells filtered through the phone speaker.

“Yeah, I found her,” there was another pause and more muffled yelling, before he spoke again. “Don’t worry dude, I’ll take her home.”

He hung up and returned his phone to his pocket. He sighed, a deep frustrated sound. I looked up at him just as he ran a hand through his hair. I jerked his hand away, bringing it up to his face. A look of pain mixed with displeasure crossed his features.

“Come on, let’s get you home,” he grabbed my hand and dragged me to his car. I was then ushered into it, the intoxicating smell of a new car burned my nose. Cool leather nipped at my bare thighs, gluing to my sweat-matted skin. He closed the passenger door and swiftly moved around the car to the driver’s side. He opened the door and slipped inside. I moved away from him, leaning my elbow against the window, eyes staring out into the dark.

“Aislinn?” his voice was soft, barely audible.

I shifted in my seat, turning to face him. His face was mere inches away from mine. I could feel his warm breath caress my skin – my lips. I bit my cheek, the desire to reach out and touch him surged within me. I wanted him. I wanted to feel his lips move against mine. I wanted to taste him, to feel him move against me, in me. I wanted to feel his warm breath against my bare skin. I wanted him to trail his fingers along my neck, my back, my stomach… my thighs. I wanted – needed – him.

“Ash?” he whispered. He was leaning in closer, using the arm rest as a means of support. His left hand was pressed firmly against the dashboard. His eyes were bright and intense, focused on my soul. My breathing hitched. Blood rushed to my ears and that familiar tingling sensation arose.

“Mmm?” I bit my lip, my gaze locked on his lips.

Our lips were mere inches away, I could almost taste him. I shifted, intentionally moving closer. The sound of skin moving against leather filled the car. With a long, calloused finger he tilted my chin up, our eyes meeting as if for the first time. My breath caught in my throat. He was leaning in closer, the distance between us was becoming smaller and smaller. My heart was beating erratically. I closed my eyes and tried to soothe my racing heart. I had all but closed my eyes when I felt it. His lips gently brushed against mine.

My eyes snapped open as an involuntary shiver raced down my spine. Suddenly he shook his head and pulled back, dropping his hand from my chin. Without a second glance in my direction, he revved the car to life and pulled off. I sighed. So close. I looked away, my gaze returning to the dark streets. Silent tears slid down my cheeks. Once again, my heart broke because of a man I could never have - because I was head over heels in love with my father's best friend - Jimmy.

Notes

Poor Ash...

So here is another installment of this wonderful piece of shit. As always, leave your thoughts, rate and subscribe. Love hearing what you all have to say - be it negative or positive criticism . Also, on a side note, I want to know what you guys think should happen next.

C.H. Sullivan