Unholy Confessions

"Brian!" I called as I walked in the front door of our house. "I'm home!"

"Kitchen!" I heard Brian yell. I hung my keys up on the tiny hook next to the shoe rack and made my way to where he was.

"Day drinking again, are we?" I asked as he popped the top off a bottle of beer.

"Bad day," he muttered, chugging half of it before I got my own out. He cocked an eyebrow as he said, "Just 'cause I am doesn't mean you have to."

"It's no fun if I don't join you." I took his bottle opener and used it on my beer.

"You're lucky you're of age." He walked into the dining area and I followed, taking a seat next to him as he sat down.

"I've been doing this for years, Brian."

"And I was never happy about it," he said sullenly. "And you've been 21 for what, a week?"

"Something like that." I took a swig and sat back in the chair. "So what happened today?"

He sighed. "I found a gray hair."

My jaw dropped and I could barely suppress my smile. He noticed.

"It's not funny."

"It's cute that you're this upset about it," I said. "Did you pull it out?"

"Of course I pulled it out!" He smiled a little as I laughed. "But it bothered me a lot."

"Why? Who cares?"

"You do," he said sheepishly.

I rolled my eyes. "No I don't."

"It has to bother you, Court. You just turned 21 and I'm already 35 years old."

I never thought of it like that. I shrugged. "So?"

"It's a big deal. If we ever have kids-"

"Brian, I hate kids."

"Because you're barely an adult! I hate to say it like that but it's true." He took both of my hands. "This is important to me."

"The gray hair?"

He grinned. "No, smartass. Our future."

"Brian," I sighed. "Can we please just get through the wedding first?"

He twisted my engagement ring around my finger. "I guess."

I went up to my den (previously my bedroom before I officially moved my stuff into Brian's room) and sat at my desk, turning my computer on. Within seconds I was faced with my favorite picture from the engagement photo shoot: Brian and I kissed in a gazebo with a wooden plank that had "12/31/16" written on it. 25 days left.

Brian proposed on my eighteenth birthday with all of our closest friends and family there. Mostly friends, since the family wasn't happy at all about the whole thing. I didn't blame them.

But it was nice. The entire backyard was set up all nice with our fire pit going and music and since everyone knew he was gonna do it, besides me of course, at least five people got it on video and I think the whole world has seen it by now. At first it was embarrassing because... well, let me walk you through exactly what happened.

"Do you guys know where Brian is?" I asked Matt and Johnny who were standing a bit away from the fire. They both shook their heads.

"Haven't seen him. But hey, are you having fun?" Matt asked.

It broke my heart a little bit knowing at one time, he was personally waiting for me to turn eighteen but after we all found out I wasn't blood related to Brian, everything changed. Matt came to terms with me always choosing Brian over him. He's married to Valary now and they have two kids anyway, so it doesn't matter anymore.

"Yeah, this is awesome." I looked around a little, seeing all the different faces of people we had in our lives. Us becoming more public with our relationship, at least to our friends, showed us who the real ones were. "I wish Valary came, though."

"She's with River, she's fine." People quieted down as Matt looked past me and smiled. "Found him," he said, nodding his head.

I spun around and gasped when I saw Brian kneeling on one knee about two feet from me.

"No," I said, covering my mouth and feeling tears form in my eyes. Everyone stayed silent as Brian cleared his throat.

"Courtney Isabelle Haner," he began. I saw his hands shaking as they held onto his knee, he was so nervous. "We have been through hell at least twice by now together, but we managed just like that: Together. I know things are complicated, and things will probably always be that way for us. I have loved you for your entire life. It started as one thing until I realized it was a different love entirely, and now I want to love you in a new way. As my wife." He pulled the signature blue velvet box from his jacket pocket and opened it, revealing the most beautiful three-stone diamond ring I have ever seen. "Will you marry me?"

I nodded vigorously as I fell onto my knees, still crying like a baby. He crawled to me in one step, holding me as I hugged him harder than I ever had.

I didn't realize until we kissed that people were actually clapping and then that there were cameras everywhere, but I didn't care. I couldn't have been any happier than I was at that exact moment, and I still was.

It's been three years since that night, and things have been relatively normal for us besides sending out the wedding invitations to family members that we knew we wouldn't be hearing from again.

Aunt Vanessa was the only one on board with it, because she was the only one that knew we were never related. Other family members believed that was a cover up for our "disgusting relations." But like I said, we learned a lot about the people we surrounded ourselves with since then.

And it was coming up. Basically everything was set up, now we just had to deal with the actual day. Sometimes I honestly couldn't believe it was happening, and I wasn't sure if that was a good thing.

"Hey," his voice broke me from my trance. I spun around in my chair to see him standing in the doorway.

"Hi," I said, smiling.

He looked at me suspiciously. "Whatcha doin'?"

"Thinking about you."

He walked over to sit in the chair next to the desk. "Anything good?"

"When you proposed."

He smiled, showing his teeth. "Best night of my life."

"Where were you before you did it? I couldn't find you anywhere."

He chuckled. "I was in the kitchen freaking out with Zacky."

"You were so nervous," I said laughing a little.

"I thought you were gonna say no," he said. "I really did."

"Why would I ever turn you down?"

"I don't know, maybe just everything. I don't know." He sat back. "But then I saw your eyes as soon as you saw me and I knew I was doing the right thing."

I crossed over to sit on his lap and he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Aren't you afraid someone's going to object or something?" I asked, thinking about all the things could go wrong.

"I've thought about it," he said after a minute. "But I doubt it. Zachary is the one marrying us, rightfully so. He might not even ask."

"Someone can still interrupt."

He shrugged. "But we won't let them."

I sighed, laying my head on his shoulder. "So is Zack gonna do the voice and everything like he did in the song?"

Brian laughed. "We can arrange that if you want. That day is for you, not me. You know I'm fine with going to the courthouse and getting it done the easy way."

"Then why are we going through all of this?" I asked quietly.

He sighed. "Honestly?"

I nodded.

"Because I feel like I've taken enough from you, I didn't want to ruin the one thing every girl wants."

"Brian, you haven't taken anything-"

"Yes I have, and you know that."

"I'm happy this way," I said. "I'm happy with you, despite everything that we've done."

He watched me for a few seconds before huffing. "We always come back to this."

"Because you won't stop. Our past isn't normal, but it led us to the right place."

"You're right," he said, running his hand through my hair. "Have you thought about the whole aisle thing?"

"Not really," I said. "I mean... I guess a little. If I don't have a father figure, who's supposed to walk me down?"

"Anyone you want, anyone that isn't in the bridal party basically. Or you can go alone, it's all up to you."

I leaned forward to look at him. "This is so much work, maybe we should just go to the courthouse."

He chuckled, rubbing my back. "No, we're almost there. Less than a month and we will be husband and wife for the new year."

"We're gonna be too drunk to even realize it's the new year."

"Hopefully," he said with a sly smile.

I rolled my eyes and went back to my desk chair, causing him to glance at my laptop screen.

"What are you working on now?" he asked.

"Still the book," I said, clicking open a word document.

"Are you sure you want to publish it?" he asked hesitantly.

I narrowed my eyes. "Why wouldn't I?"

"It's basically our story, don't you think it's risky?"

"There's no reason to be. No one can press charges against you besides me, and I'm obviously not going to. And there's a lot different about this story."

"The only differences are that they're not named Courtney or Brian and the guy isn't in a band," Brian said.

"And that makes all the difference," I said, grinning.

His eyebrows furrowed as he thought about something, and then he said, "I'm still getting calls. Dr. Phil is relentless along with other new ones all the time."

"Then maybe we should finally go on one of the shows and end this," I said, crossing my arms over my chest. "With the wedding coming up, our relationship has been all over. We're gonna have to do something eventually."

"I know." He stared at the ground for a minute before standing up. "The guys are coming over in a bit to watch the game, are you gonna join?"

"Of course," I said. "I'll be down in a bit."

He kissed the top of my head before walking out to go downstairs.

I stared at the my screen but didn't read any of what it said. I just kept thinking of Brian.

Talk shows and magazines have been trying to get ahold of us since we announced our engagement. Some of it was benevolent, but most of it wasn't so nice. Our private lives, and our past, had been uncovered once the video of the proposal had surfaced.

The headlines were ridiculous; "Guitarist proposes to sister fourteen years younger" was probably the worst one honestly. No one had our story right, but they didn't care about the truth. They wanted shock value, and they got it with that title.

And the comments, oh my god. People called me a whore, they called Brian a pedophile. It was horrible.

But it got worse. As illegal as it is, it turns out a nurse from the institute had been contacted and offered money to provide my medical history along with Brian's because his was also in the system. Everyone had learned about my stay at Huntington Mental Institute and Brian's diagnosed Genetic Sexual Attraction.

Avenged Sevenfold suffered, but not as much as it potentially could have. They had to cancel a couple of concerts due to safety concerns, but after a little time that smoothed over.

So now we were only faced with talk shows and magazines wanting our side of it, despite Brian having released a statement years ago. I guess that wasn't enough for them.

I stayed upstairs until I heard yelling from the living room. The guys were here.

I turned my computer off and went to see everyone.

"Hey Court!" Brooks exclaimed. As Avenged's new drummer, he was over as much as the rest of them. He was still relatively new, but he fit right in.

As soon as he heard my name, Brian's head snapped over and his eyes lit up.

Matt didn't move.

Things with Matt have been hard. How he acted toward me changed everyday and it was hard to keep up. Some days we were best friends, other days he didn't want to see me at all. He proposed to Valary before Brian did, but Brian said he thought Matt always held out hope I would change my mind.

They got married shortly after Brian proposed.

"He knew I was doing it last night," Brian had told me the day after my birthday. "He thought it was too soon."

"How is it too soon? We've been together for how long," I said.

"But he wanted time to change your mind. He never said it, but I knew. We all knew."

"Hey Matt," I said.

He finally looked at me with a small smile.

"T-minus four days!" Zacky said, winking.

I rolled my eyes. Avenged Sevenfold's new album was coming out, which also meant another tour. I felt like I was living on buses every three years. Their new song "The Stage" was released in October and the fans were eating it up. I could tell the guys were tired, though.

Brian took my hand and took me into the kitchen, away from everyone. He leaned against the counter, looking at me.

"Stop looking at us like that," he said quietly. "At me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like we're getting too old for this."

I sighed. "I'm just worried," I murmured. "I don't want you guys burning out. You're touring every couple years, it's a lot for your body to take."

"I'm fine. We're all fine, if we couldn't handle it then we wouldn't do it," he argued.

I crossed my arms over my chest. "Are you sure about that?"

He pursed his lips, debating on what to say. Instead he walked past me back into the living room without a word.

I remember years ago when I was so afraid to speak my mind to Brian, I would have never questioned him like I just did.

Oh, how things have changed.

Notes

Chapter title credit: Avenged Sevenfold
Hello all! Welcome back to this crazy circus.
The support towards my continuing this story has been amazing, thank you guys so much.
As always, comment with what you think! Thank you!