“So you know, we should totally go to this party this weekend. Maddy and I are going. Jason Greene is having it and he throws the absolute best parties! You in?” Alexis continued talking as her heels clattered down the vacant hallway. She rambled on and on about how great this party was going to be, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t in the mood at party, unless it was a party with a gallon of ice cream and movies.

“CJ?” I heard distantly. I thought maybe I was imagining things, so I continued walking next to Alexis.

“Cailey Jo, are you listening to me?” Alexis suddenly stopped and threw her arms down at her side, like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

“Oh, uh yeah. I don’t think I’ll be able to make it anywhere this weekend. My mom wants to have a family weekend,” I lied. I hadn’t seen nor heard from my mother in a week. Guess she liked her new job.

“What’s up with you today? You feelin’ okay?” Alexis’ attitude changed. We exited the doors of the school building and she halted, waiting for a reply.

“Yeah, just kind of zoned out lately. I’m gonna get home though, I’ll see you Monday,” I said sullenly as I turned and began the peaceful walk home.

I looked up at the swaying palm trees, trying to organize my thoughts. The words Zack spoke still rang in my ears.

“I don’t feel that way about you.”

Why though? I just wanted to ask him why. No, I couldn’t ask him why. That would make me look desperate as hell. I can’t say I don’t like Zack, because I know deep down I do. But I’ll never admit that to Matt or Clayton. Hell, I probably wouldn’t even admit it to Zack.

It doesn’t help that I lost the only female I could call a genuine friend here, because I really need some advice. Alexis is okay, but man, I miss Autumn. I wish I could tell her Zack doesn’t like me. She could have him! He didn’t like me. But she won’t even look in my direction. She moved seats in every one of our class, changed her routes to class so she didn’t have to see me. Man, this sucks.

I hung my head, but suddenly, I looked up and I was facing the opposite direction. My arm and shoulder stung like someone just yanked me around.

“What the fuck?” I said as I looked up to meet someone I should have expected.

“Avoiding me, huh? That’s supposed to be my thing.”

“Zachary, what the hell is wrong with you? You don’t just yank people around like that,” I angrily said as I rubbed the burn he left on my arm. He began to walk with me in my original direction.

“Well, I called out your name a dozen times! You must have not heard me. So, had to get your attention somehow,” he smiled down at me, but instantly changed his expression when he noticed mine. He studied my face for a moment.

“What’s up, chicken butt? What’re you thinkin’ so hard about?” You. I wanted to shout it in his face. You, you idiot. I’m crazy about you!

“Nothin’, just tired.”

Zack sighed deeply, and looked straight forward.

“Look CJ, if I hurt you yesterday, I’m sorry. That’s why I was avoiding you for a while. I just didn’t want to hurt you,” he watched his sneakers hit the ground as he walked.

“I know people say drunk words are sober thoughts- wait, that doesn’t make sense,” he shook his head and continued. “Point is, I kissed you because it felt like it’s what I was supposed to do, you know? Not really because I wanted to…” he trailed off. I nodded lightly.

What the hell is wrong with me? Zack’s making an effort to try and make this right and I’m completely pushing him away. Yeah, I liked him, more than I’d like to admit, but I wasn’t willing to lose him as a friend. Zack was wonderful, and he was going to make someone very happy someday, and I needed to be there for him when that happens. Even if it isn’t me.

“What’re you sorry for?” I chuckled. “I don’t really like you like that either,” I lied again. A white lie was worth saving our friendship. His face practically lit up when I spoke.

“You know, you’re right. Things happen in the heat of the moment, things that don’t really mean anything. It’s okay. No need to be sorry,” I lightly nudged him and he returned the favor.

“So, we’re friends then, right?” he asked.

I nodded, “of course.”

“So, you’ll come to my show tonight?” I gave him a puzzled look, and he elaborated. “My band, MPA, we’re playing at Showcase Theater tonight. You should come out. I think Matt and your brother are coming.”

Zack had briefly told me about his band, MPA, which stood for Mad Porno Action, but I didn’t think they were big enough to be playing shows. Zack played guitar and I’d have to admit, he was damn good at it. Way better than he let on initially.

“Duh, I’ll be there! That’s what friends are for, right?” I stopped and smiled at him as we reached my driveway.

“Great, I’ll be looking for you then,” he smiled his lively smile, kissed my cheek and ran back the direction we had just come from. I sighed deeply, smiling inwardly. Tonight was just what I needed.

---

“What do you think? Is it too much?” I twirled lightly in the mirror, able to see Matt’s reflection behind me, studying my every move. I turned to face him and showcased myself.

I was wearing a black skater skirt with black translucent tights, a gray and white blouse, and black pumps. My heavy eyeliner and mascara made my eyes uncomfortable, but all for the sake of the outfit. My hair was loosely curled into beachy waves, something I’d never done here. I’d never felt the need to dress up for anyone, until tonight.

Matt scanned me up and down, finally standing up. I watched him as he pulled his Pantera cutoff off his torso and over his head, and eventually tossed it at me.

“Yes, it’s too much. Now put this on, and take those damn heels off. You’re gonna break your ankle going like that,” he laughed wholeheartedly and walked out of my bedroom, shutting the door behind him. I sunk my shoulders, studying the t-shirt. This shirt had to be two sizes too big for me. How in the world did he expect me to wear this?

Ten minutes later, and Matt was sitting on my bed, nodding in approval. I spun to face him and threw my hands up. This time around I was wearing Matt’s Pantera cutoff which I tucked into my skirt, a leather jacket accented with gold studs, and my white hightop Converse. I was still sporting my black translucent tights. I could pull off this badass rocker look in my sleep.

“Better?” I sarcastically asked. He smiled and nodded.

“Much. Now let’s go so we can get a good spot,” he said as he led us out my bedroom door, into a world I was all but familiar with.

---

“Oh my God, I’m so out of my element,” I giggled to Matt as we stood front and center, not even three feet from the stage.

“It’s fine, just act like you know what you’re doing,” he looked down at me and nudged my side. Clayton had decided to stay home because he supposedly didn’t feel good, but I know it was because he wanted a girl to come over. Whatever, boys will be boys. So Matt and I made a little date out of it.

We had stopped and grabbed a bite to eat before coming to the venue, Matt opening my door every time we entered or exited the car. He even paid for my food. Who knew Matt was actually a genuinely sweet guy? Maybe it wasn’t just a front.

The lights dimmed in the venue, smoke began billowing and I instantly started screaming. Four young men appeared in the darkness of the stage, and readied their instruments. I immediately recognized Zack just by his unique build of stocky shoulders and slim waist. The music began blaring and I lost myself in the noise.

After 45 minutes of jumping around, cheering and screaming so loud I lost my voice, the band finished their last song and exited the stage. I turned to Matt, my emotions plastered all over my face.

“That was so awesome! Oh my God, we have to go congratulate Zack!” I shoved him away from the stage towards the door. He gave a couple nods to security and before I knew it, Zack was ten feet away from me.

I was in arm's reach of Zack and before I realized what was happening, my arms were thrown around his neck, and he spun me around like I weighed a pound, his arms gripping my waist tightly. He finally set me down, and I couldn’t hold back.

“Zack, oh my God! Where did you learn to play like that? That was amazing! I’m so glad I came,” I gave him a short hug as he replied.

“I’m glad you came too, CJ,” his hands found my waist and held on a little longer. I pulled away and Zack turned to Matt. “Thanks for bringing her, man. I saw you guys out there, looked like you were havin’ fun!”

We all talked for a few more minutes before Zack had to finished packing his stuff up, telling us to meet him outside. Matt and I stood outside, the crisp air making my legs shiver beneath my tights. Just on cue, Zack came out the backdoor, guitar case in hand. Matt, Zack and I talk more before the cold has become unbearable. I became quiet, focusing on not freezing to death. I finally spoke up with an idea to get out of this cold.

“So, drinks at my house?”

Notes

I'm so sorry I've sucked at updating recently guys. This chapter has just been sitting, waiting to be posted. My boyfriend went back to base in California last week so I'm having a hard time adjusting but I promise to update more! Thank you guys so much for bearing with me!! Comment, let me know what you think!!

Title credit: Tyler Farr "Damn Good Friends"