The Fire and the Flood
Epilogue: Parts One and Two
PART ONE
Matthew
I stumble to the front door. My body feels numb and I’m not sure if it’s due to the alcohol in my body or the fact that I was pulled out of a deep sleep. I swing the door open ready to pummel whoever the fuck was pounding on my door but relax when I find Jimmy standing there.
“Dude, what the fuck?” I growl.
Jimmy gives me a look. “What? It’s like three in the afternoon.”
I sigh and let him in. I rub my face with one hand while my other reaches for the open bottle of tequila. “What do you want?”
“Smells like a distillery in here, dude. Have you even showered?” Jimmy asks, ignoring my question.
I roll my eyes, bringing the bottle to my lips. I can’t even taste the alcohol anymore. “Of course, I have. Went out last night with Dan.”
Jimmy nods before taking a seat on the sofa. I follow suit. “I saw Spencer today.”
I scoff. I didn’t even want to think about her. Bitch doesn’t know what she wants and instead of facing her problems like an adult, she runs. Fuck it, I’m not running after her this time. If she wants to fix things with me, she’s going to have to come do it herself. “Cool.”
Jimmy is unusually quiet. “She’s leaving, dude.”
“What?” I ask half-heartedly. Another swig of tequila slides down my throat.
Jimmy sighs. “She packed her shit and she asked me to deliver this to you. It’s her goodbye letter.”
Those words caught my attention. “She’s gone? Where’d she go?”
“I don’t know,” Jimmy answers me, handing me one of two envelopes. I notice Zack's name on the other before he slips it back into his pocket.
“Zack has one too?” I ask. Jimmy nods. I’d be a liar if I said I wasn’t curious as to what it said. However, if he had a letter too, that meant she wasn’t shacking up with him. Maybe I still had a chance. “When is she coming back?”
Jimmy shakes his head. “I don’t know.”
I start to rip open the letter. “Well, then what the fuck do you know?” I ask him. My heart began to pound. She was gone and he didn’t know when she was coming back? Was she ever going to come back? Why the fuck would she just leave?
“Look, dude. She called me today and asked me to meet her at the park. When I got there, we talked about the situation you guys are in and she said she’s leaving and that’s her goodbye letter because she didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye but she didn’t think you or Zack would see her either.”
I glare at him. How the fuck could he just let her go? I thought he was her best friend too? “Is his a goodbye letter too, or is she going back to him?”
“She said they were both goodbye letters. I don’t know what else they say.”
“Well, let me read it,” I demand, reaching towards his pocket.
Jimmy pushes my arm away and jumps up from the couch. “Read your fucking own. Look, I have to go. I’ll call you later.” And with those final words, he was slamming the door shut behind
him.
I stare at my own letter in my hands, halfway open. I take a deep breath before ripping it open the rest of the way. I took another swig of tequila before unfolding the piece of paper.
I read the letter over and over and over again and again. I folded it up, unfolded it and read it some more. She was gone? She was really just going to leave without saying a word to me? To Zack? Fuck her then.
She was right. She did treat me like shit. It was shitty of her to just fucking up and leave after I told her I loved her – after she told me she loved me. I deserved better than her; Zack deserved better than her.
I groaned. Fucking Zack – this was partially his fault. If he didn’t show up that day and propose to her…we could have been happy. Spencer and I could have been happy…
Except I know you can’t help who you love. Zack can’t help that he’s still head over heels for her, just like I can’t help that I fell in love with my best friend’s girlfriend. Life is just fucked up that way.
As much as I didn’t want to admit it, Spencer was right about another thing too. Zack was my brother. He’s been my best friend my entire life – were we really going to let a girl come between us? I mean, Spencer wasn’t just some girl but…was I willing to lose my brother over her? Was I willing to lose the woman I loved and the man who has been there since day one all on the same day? Fuck.
“Whatever,” I mumble to the empty house. I needed a fucking shower.
PART TWO
Zachary
It takes me a few moments to realize the banging I hear is the door and not my brain throbbing against my skull. I sit there for a moment, hoping it would go away, but it continues relentlessly. I reluctantly make my way from the couch to the front door.
“Fuck dude, you too?” Jimmy asks as soon as the door is opened.
Fuck, that sun was bright. I give him a squinted look. “What?”
Jimmy pushes his way through the door. I’m tempted to kick him out, but am grateful to be able to close the door and block that sun. “You smell like you took a swim in a fucking pool of whiskey.”
I glance down at the empty liquor bottles, the only reason why I stopped drinking is because I ran out. “I proposed to Spencer and she fucking took off. What do you expect?”
Jimmy shakes his head. “I talked to her today. She wants you to have this.” I glance over and he’s offering me an envelope. I recognize her handwriting immediately.
“Trash it,” I tell him.
Jimmy sighs. “Dude.”
“I’m serious, Jimmy. I don’t fucking want anything to do with her. I fucking missed my meeting, bought her a god damn ring and spilled my fucking guts out to her for the millionth fucking time and she just ran away. I’m fucking done. She can stay with Matt for all I care but I don’t want her half-assed apology. I don’t want to hear that she chose him and that she’s sorry she doesn’t have the god damn balls to tell me to my face.”
“She’s not with Matt,” Jimmy tells me.
“What?” I ask. I just assumed she was.
Jimmy shakes the letter at me. “Just read it.”
“No,” I tell him. “If she has something to say she can come say it to my face. When the fuck did you become a delivery boy?”
“She’s gone, dude!” Jimmy yells. “She fucking left town and this is her goodbye to you.”
I scoff, rolling my eyes. “She’ll be back. She always comes back.”
“This isn’t like the last times, Z,” he tells me quietly.
“Did she leave town with Matt?” I ask him.
He shakes his head. “He got a letter too.”
This piqued my interest. “He did? Did he let you read it? What did it say?”
Jimmy groans. “I don’t fucking know. Just take the god damn letter.”
I stared at the envelope in Jimmy’s hand for a long time, and then glanced up to Jimmy. “No,” I tell him, shaking my head. “Like I said if she has something to say she can come say it to my face.” Jimmy rolled his eyes before tearing open the envelope. “Hey!” I exclaimed. “What are you –”
“Dear Zack,” he starts. “I’m sorry. You deserve better than this – than me. I wish I could be the one to give you everything you want. I wish I could marry you, but I hope you understand why I did what I did, why I just left.” Jimmy glances at me but I don’t say anything so he continues to read with an aggravated sigh. “Your happiness means everything to me. That’s all I’ve ever really wanted – for you to be happy. I fucked up.” Jimmy glances at me again. “Do you want me to continue or are you going to stop being a little bitch and read it yourself?”
I snatch the paper from him and take a deep breath before I allow my eyes to focus on the words.
Jimmy is no longer in my house when I finish reading the letter. I read it again, focusing closely on the letters that turned into words, hoping there was some sort of secret message. She never said where she was going. She never said when she was coming back. Fuck, she never said if she was coming back.
I’ve never felt like this before. I felt like crying. I felt like ripping my insides out. I felt like nothing was ever going to be okay again. I should have fought harder for her. I should have never let her go. I should have never let her leave that night she caught me texting Gena. If I would have made her stay home and talk to me…none of this would have happened and she would be with me right now. We would have been happy. I wished I would have saved some whiskey for this moment. I wanted to drown myself in it.
Before I could think any more thoughts that made me question everything my life was about to become, I grabbed my car keys and headed to the front door. As soon as my hand touches the cool doorknob, there’s a knock on the other side of it.
“Jimmy, I read the fucking letter. Now, will you please…” Once my eyes focus in the sunlight I realize the person standing in front of me isn’t Jimmy at all.
Matt wraps his arms around me instantly. It takes me a second to react, and then I return the hug. “Dude, you smell like a distillery,” he whispers. I can’t help but laugh softly as I tighten my embrace around him. My best friend. My brother.
Matthew
I stumble to the front door. My body feels numb and I’m not sure if it’s due to the alcohol in my body or the fact that I was pulled out of a deep sleep. I swing the door open ready to pummel whoever the fuck was pounding on my door but relax when I find Jimmy standing there.
“Dude, what the fuck?” I growl.
Jimmy gives me a look. “What? It’s like three in the afternoon.”
I sigh and let him in. I rub my face with one hand while my other reaches for the open bottle of tequila. “What do you want?”
“Smells like a distillery in here, dude. Have you even showered?” Jimmy asks, ignoring my question.
I roll my eyes, bringing the bottle to my lips. I can’t even taste the alcohol anymore. “Of course, I have. Went out last night with Dan.”
Jimmy nods before taking a seat on the sofa. I follow suit. “I saw Spencer today.”
I scoff. I didn’t even want to think about her. Bitch doesn’t know what she wants and instead of facing her problems like an adult, she runs. Fuck it, I’m not running after her this time. If she wants to fix things with me, she’s going to have to come do it herself. “Cool.”
Jimmy is unusually quiet. “She’s leaving, dude.”
“What?” I ask half-heartedly. Another swig of tequila slides down my throat.
Jimmy sighs. “She packed her shit and she asked me to deliver this to you. It’s her goodbye letter.”
Those words caught my attention. “She’s gone? Where’d she go?”
“I don’t know,” Jimmy answers me, handing me one of two envelopes. I notice Zack's name on the other before he slips it back into his pocket.
“Zack has one too?” I ask. Jimmy nods. I’d be a liar if I said I wasn’t curious as to what it said. However, if he had a letter too, that meant she wasn’t shacking up with him. Maybe I still had a chance. “When is she coming back?”
Jimmy shakes his head. “I don’t know.”
I start to rip open the letter. “Well, then what the fuck do you know?” I ask him. My heart began to pound. She was gone and he didn’t know when she was coming back? Was she ever going to come back? Why the fuck would she just leave?
“Look, dude. She called me today and asked me to meet her at the park. When I got there, we talked about the situation you guys are in and she said she’s leaving and that’s her goodbye letter because she didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye but she didn’t think you or Zack would see her either.”
I glare at him. How the fuck could he just let her go? I thought he was her best friend too? “Is his a goodbye letter too, or is she going back to him?”
“She said they were both goodbye letters. I don’t know what else they say.”
“Well, let me read it,” I demand, reaching towards his pocket.
Jimmy pushes my arm away and jumps up from the couch. “Read your fucking own. Look, I have to go. I’ll call you later.” And with those final words, he was slamming the door shut behind
him.
I stare at my own letter in my hands, halfway open. I take a deep breath before ripping it open the rest of the way. I took another swig of tequila before unfolding the piece of paper.
I read the letter over and over and over again and again. I folded it up, unfolded it and read it some more. She was gone? She was really just going to leave without saying a word to me? To Zack? Fuck her then.
She was right. She did treat me like shit. It was shitty of her to just fucking up and leave after I told her I loved her – after she told me she loved me. I deserved better than her; Zack deserved better than her.
I groaned. Fucking Zack – this was partially his fault. If he didn’t show up that day and propose to her…we could have been happy. Spencer and I could have been happy…
Except I know you can’t help who you love. Zack can’t help that he’s still head over heels for her, just like I can’t help that I fell in love with my best friend’s girlfriend. Life is just fucked up that way.
As much as I didn’t want to admit it, Spencer was right about another thing too. Zack was my brother. He’s been my best friend my entire life – were we really going to let a girl come between us? I mean, Spencer wasn’t just some girl but…was I willing to lose my brother over her? Was I willing to lose the woman I loved and the man who has been there since day one all on the same day? Fuck.
“Whatever,” I mumble to the empty house. I needed a fucking shower.
PART TWO
Zachary
It takes me a few moments to realize the banging I hear is the door and not my brain throbbing against my skull. I sit there for a moment, hoping it would go away, but it continues relentlessly. I reluctantly make my way from the couch to the front door.
“Fuck dude, you too?” Jimmy asks as soon as the door is opened.
Fuck, that sun was bright. I give him a squinted look. “What?”
Jimmy pushes his way through the door. I’m tempted to kick him out, but am grateful to be able to close the door and block that sun. “You smell like you took a swim in a fucking pool of whiskey.”
I glance down at the empty liquor bottles, the only reason why I stopped drinking is because I ran out. “I proposed to Spencer and she fucking took off. What do you expect?”
Jimmy shakes his head. “I talked to her today. She wants you to have this.” I glance over and he’s offering me an envelope. I recognize her handwriting immediately.
“Trash it,” I tell him.
Jimmy sighs. “Dude.”
“I’m serious, Jimmy. I don’t fucking want anything to do with her. I fucking missed my meeting, bought her a god damn ring and spilled my fucking guts out to her for the millionth fucking time and she just ran away. I’m fucking done. She can stay with Matt for all I care but I don’t want her half-assed apology. I don’t want to hear that she chose him and that she’s sorry she doesn’t have the god damn balls to tell me to my face.”
“She’s not with Matt,” Jimmy tells me.
“What?” I ask. I just assumed she was.
Jimmy shakes the letter at me. “Just read it.”
“No,” I tell him. “If she has something to say she can come say it to my face. When the fuck did you become a delivery boy?”
“She’s gone, dude!” Jimmy yells. “She fucking left town and this is her goodbye to you.”
I scoff, rolling my eyes. “She’ll be back. She always comes back.”
“This isn’t like the last times, Z,” he tells me quietly.
“Did she leave town with Matt?” I ask him.
He shakes his head. “He got a letter too.”
This piqued my interest. “He did? Did he let you read it? What did it say?”
Jimmy groans. “I don’t fucking know. Just take the god damn letter.”
I stared at the envelope in Jimmy’s hand for a long time, and then glanced up to Jimmy. “No,” I tell him, shaking my head. “Like I said if she has something to say she can come say it to my face.” Jimmy rolled his eyes before tearing open the envelope. “Hey!” I exclaimed. “What are you –”
“Dear Zack,” he starts. “I’m sorry. You deserve better than this – than me. I wish I could be the one to give you everything you want. I wish I could marry you, but I hope you understand why I did what I did, why I just left.” Jimmy glances at me but I don’t say anything so he continues to read with an aggravated sigh. “Your happiness means everything to me. That’s all I’ve ever really wanted – for you to be happy. I fucked up.” Jimmy glances at me again. “Do you want me to continue or are you going to stop being a little bitch and read it yourself?”
I snatch the paper from him and take a deep breath before I allow my eyes to focus on the words.
Jimmy is no longer in my house when I finish reading the letter. I read it again, focusing closely on the letters that turned into words, hoping there was some sort of secret message. She never said where she was going. She never said when she was coming back. Fuck, she never said if she was coming back.
I’ve never felt like this before. I felt like crying. I felt like ripping my insides out. I felt like nothing was ever going to be okay again. I should have fought harder for her. I should have never let her go. I should have never let her leave that night she caught me texting Gena. If I would have made her stay home and talk to me…none of this would have happened and she would be with me right now. We would have been happy. I wished I would have saved some whiskey for this moment. I wanted to drown myself in it.
Before I could think any more thoughts that made me question everything my life was about to become, I grabbed my car keys and headed to the front door. As soon as my hand touches the cool doorknob, there’s a knock on the other side of it.
“Jimmy, I read the fucking letter. Now, will you please…” Once my eyes focus in the sunlight I realize the person standing in front of me isn’t Jimmy at all.
Matt wraps his arms around me instantly. It takes me a second to react, and then I return the hug. “Dude, you smell like a distillery,” he whispers. I can’t help but laugh softly as I tighten my embrace around him. My best friend. My brother.
Notes
Sometimes the happy ending has nothing to do with romance! So here's a little happy ending bromance for you guys! This chapter/epilogue was not planned at all. A couple of people from here and Mibba requested to read the letters so I thought I would whip up a quick 500-word epilogue...and then that turned into a 2500-word epilogue. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed it. Thank you all again!
Everyone seems to enjoy the journal entries in Through Still and Storm, so i thought that's how i would go about doing the letters. However, if for some reason the letters don't show up for anyone you can find them here: Matt's Letter | Zack's Letter
@Holly
the letters are fixed! sorry it took so long, i couldn't find my memory stick!
p.s. thank you so much!!!
1/25/19