Matthew

My heart drops at the sound of her voice. I’m still lying in the makeshift bed, butt ass naked and suddenly I wish to become one with it – to just disappear. What the fuck was going on? Spencer wanted to know the same thing. She turned to me with a slightly horrified expression on her face and something else too – embarrassment? Hurt? I couldn’t quite tell. I jump up and pull on my slacks at the speed of light and make my way to the door, avoiding Spencer’s gaze. I didn’t know what she was thinking right now, but suddenly I felt ashamed. I didn’t know what to tell her, and even if I did – would she believe me?

My stomach churns and I’m almost positive I’m going to vomit when I see her at the door - Vanessa. I can’t deny how god damn beautiful she looked, but I hated the look she was giving Spencer.

“Matt?” Spencer chokes out. She’s holding back tears. She thinks I’m lying to her about the divorce but I’m not – or at least I don’t think I am. Fuck. What is going on? Vanessa is gone for over twelve months and all of a sudden, she’s back – and not only back in town but at my doorstep?

“Spence,” I start. It takes me a minute to gather the courage to look her in the eye. “Um, maybe you should go. You can take my car. I’ll uh…I’ll call you later. I promise.”

If it wasn’t hurt that plastered her face before, it definitely was now. She stared at me so hard it felt like she was peering into my soul. Until eventually she quietly scoffed, grabbed my keys from the bowl beside the door and walked outside barefoot and covered in only my shirt.

Vanessa’s eyes follow her, as do mine, until she gets into the car and speeds off. “Honestly, Matty,” Vanessa smiles, turning her attention back to me, “What are you doing with her? Is she sleeping her way through the band or what?”

“What are you doing here, Vanessa? How did you know about Spencer and me?” I ask her.

She shrugs. “I saw a picture of you guys on twitter. I’m not very surprised. She always was a
slut. Did you really think you could replace me with her, though, baby? C’mon. You know what you and I had was a once-in-a-lifetime type of love.”

I roll my eyes and walk away from the door. I begin to pick up the clothes Spencer and I left scattered among the floor as Vanessa walks in and makes herself at home on the sofa. “We’re divorced, Vanessa. You seriously had no right coming here today.”

“I missed you, Matty,” she smiles.

“Bullshit, Vanessa! You’ve been gone for a year! I did everything I could to contact you after you left, to see what the fuck you did to our unborn child but you didn’t want to be found, did you? And now you just think you can come back? I’m happy, Vanessa. Spencer makes me happy.”

“You’re the one who told me to leave, Matt,” Vanessa replied crossing her arms.

I shake my head with a sigh. “No. I told you I wanted a family. I wanted our baby to live. I wanted to be a father, Vanessa. You are the one who decided to leave.”

“We weren’t ready for a child, Matt! I didn’t want one!” She retorted.

“Bullshit! Four years ago, the first time you were pregnant, you were all for having a family.
Then we lost the baby and…we were both so devastated. Don’t tell me you didn’t want a baby because once upon a time, you did!” My blood was boiling. Bringing up the past with Vanessa made me angry. I hated that she took the chance for me to have a family away. I hated that she threw our marriage away.

“I didn’t come here to talk about the past,” she tells me.

I shove my hands on my hips and stare at her. She was ridiculous. “Then what did you come here for, exactly? Because you saw a picture of me and Spencer and you thought you’d come take one more thing away from me? You just can’t stand to see me happy, can you?”

Vanessa rolls her eyes. “Stop Matt. I told you, I came back because I missed you.”

“Bullshit.”

“It’s the truth. You were my husband. I loved you, I still do. So, yeah maybe when I saw that picture of you and Spencer, it kind of pissed me off and made me a little jealous but you deserve better than her, Matty. Let me guess she cheated on Zack with you? Is that really someone you want to be with? You know what they say. If she cheats with you, she will cheat one you,” Vanessa says matter-of-factly.

She was right. Spencer did cheat on Zack with me but only because I kissed her first. “Don’t act like you know what is going on around here, Vanessa.”

“Well, what does Zack think about the two of you fucking? I can’t believe you would do something like that to your best friend. I know he’s not okay with it. How could he be? He loved her.” Vanessa is sitting relaxed on the couch while I’m standing in front of her, my entire body tensed and I’m getting angrier by the minute.

“Zack and I have talked about it. He gave me his blessing to be with her if I wanted.” I answer curtly.

She laughed. She actually laughed out loud. “Is that so? Oh, bullshit. If he did it was only a ploy. He’s only trying to make Spencer think he’s done with her so she will want him more.”

“Oh, What the fuck ever, Vanessa!” I scoff. “That doesn’t even make sense.”

She shrugs and stands from the couch. “Maybe you’re right. Are you hungry? C’mon, I’ll let you buy me lunch.”

I shot her a look. Was she serious? “Vanessa, I’m not going anywhere with you. Actually, you need to fucking go. Okay? I need to go talk to Spencer.”

“Is she still living with Zack? That would be odd, wouldn’t it? A little awkward, I bet. But I mean…if Zack is as okay with it as you say he is…”

“She has her own place. What the fuck is your deal? You and Spencer used to be friends!”

Vanessa shrugs again. “Until I realized she wanted me gone so she could steal my husband from me.

“You are fucking ridiculous,” I tell her slowly. “You fucking left me. How the hell did she steal me from you?”

“Oh, so you’re telling me you would be acting like this if you and she weren’t together?” Vanessa asks me.

“That is exactly what I am saying, Vanessa! Spencer has nothing to do with me and you, okay? You and I are done. We have been done for a very, very long time. And you know what? Spencer didn’t fucking initiate this relationship, okay? It was me. I fucking fell in love with her; I kissed her first; I told her I wanted to be with her. Oh, and she and I didn’t start seeing each other until after she and Zack broke up. None of it is any of your god damn business, but they broke up for another whole reason that had nothing to do with me. So, seriously, get the fuck off your high horse.” I took a deep breath. I didn’t mean to go off on her like that but she deserved it. Who the fuck did she think she was coming here unannounced, calling Spencer a slut and trying to win me back? Fuck her.

She sniffs and wipes her face; I roll my eyes. She used to always pull this shit while we were married. She would fake cry to get her way but it wasn’t happening anymore. I stood there with my arms crossed against my chest as Vanessa stared at the floor.

“I love you, Matty,” she tells me.

“Vanessa,” I sigh. “Please, just stop.”

She pouts. “Do you really not love me anymore? If that’s the case, tell me and I will leave.”

I couldn’t tell her that. Not honestly, anyway. A part of me will always love Vanessa. “Vanessa,” I start, but she interrupts me with a kiss. Her arms are wrapped around my neck and she pressed her body against me as she kisses me forcefully. I push her off me as soon as I register what’s going on. “Fucking stop.”

She glares at me. “You’ve changed.”

“Maybe I have,” I shrug. “You know, you should just go.”

“I should go?” Vanessa repeats loudly. “I’m your fucking wife, Matt!”

“We are divorced, Vanessa!” I yell back. “You are not my wife.”

Before I can stop her Vanessa raises her hand and slaps me hard across the face. I taste blood and I have to clench my fists down at my side to resist pushing her out of the house. We both just stand there for a moment until I am able to calm myself down enough to speak to her.

“Vanessa, get the fuck out of my house,” I tell her as calmly as I can.

She crosses her arms and doesn’t move. “Our house, Matt. We bought this house together!”

I grab her by the wrist and drag her to the door. “No, I bought the house.” I open the door and she yanks her wrist from my grip. “Get the fuck out of my house.”

“Fine,” she replies. “Spencer probably gave you an STD anyway.” Vanessa walks out of the house and I slam the door behind her so hard the pictures on the wall shake.

I pace the living room, calming myself down before I fall back on the couch and cradle my head in my hands. I wasn’t sure what time it was but I knew it was too damn early for all this bullshit drama. I needed to get a hold of Spencer. I needed to get a hold of her and tell her what was going on. Most of all I needed to apologize to her. I was stupid to tell her to leave this morning. I should have told her to stay, Vanessa could have said what she wanted to say to both of us or neither of us. I was just so caught off guard by Vanessa’s arrival, I was confused and I made the wrong decision. I hoped Spencer understood that. I hoped I hadn’t already fucked my chances with her up.

I rub my face with my hands and then look around the room for my phone. What had I done with it last night after we got back from our date? Our date. Man, that was such a good time. Last night was so perfect – how could it be ruined so quickly?

I find my cell phone on the table beside the door. I find her number easily and begin to feel nervous as it rings in my ear. The ringing echoes and I turn around and follow the sound. I find it in the kitchen. Spencer’s cell phone rests on the counter beside the microwave, and her panties rest on the floor. I pick them both up and head back into the living room. I toss her panties in the pile with her dress, shoes, and bra and then set our phones down on the table next to the door before making my way up the stairs and to my bedroom.

I want a shower. I want a shower really, really bad. The kiss with Vanessa made me feel gross, I feel like I’ve cheated on Spencer but I wasn’t even sure if we were an official couple. I didn’t matter if we were or not, honestly. My heart was invested in her and I felt like I betrayed her. Talking to her right now was much more important than a shower.

I find a shirt in my closet and pull it over my head without even looking at it. I grab a pair of slip on shoes and slip them on while walking down the stairs. My heart drops when I reach for my keys and they’re not there. Fuck. I forgot I told Spencer to take my car.

I take a deep breath before picking up my phone. Who to call, who to call? Definitely not Zack. He said he didn’t want anything to do with us so soon. Brian isn’t much of a fan of Spencer so not him either. So, that left Jimmy and Johnny.

Jimmy lived a little closer so I called him. The phone rang a handful of times before it’s answered. “Dude, what the fuck?”

“Jimmy, I need a ride,” I tell him grabbing my wallet and pushing it into the back pocket of my slacks.

“You need a…fuck you, do you know how early it is?” Jimmy asked clearly irritated.

I sighed. “No, actually, I don’t. Look, Vanessa stopped by and...”

“Vanessa?” Jimmy repeated. He suddenly sounded more awake and interested.

I shook my head. “Come pick me up. I’ll explain on the way.”

Jimmy hangs up without replying and I hoped he was on his way and not going back to bed. I wanted to sit down, but I couldn’t. Instead, I paced the living room. I gathered Spencer’s belongings just as I heard Jimmy pull up outside. I walk out immediately and get in on the passenger side of the car.

“So, where are we going?” Jimmy asks as he back out of the driveway.

“Spencer’s,” I reply.

Jimmy shoots me a confused look. “Spencer? Does she know about Vanessa?” He asks as he heads off in that direction.

I sigh. “Yeah, she was actually there when Vanessa stopped by.”

“Oh,” he says. “What happened?”

“I told Spencer she should go…” I felt so ashamed of my answer. God, I was a fucking asshole.

Jimmy glanced down to the pile of clothes in my lap. “And she left naked?”

I couldn’t help but chuckle. “No. She was wearing my shirt. I told her to take my car, hence why I need a ride.”

“So, what happened with Vanessa?” Jimmy asked.

I explained the conversation Vanessa and I shared as Jimmy drove me to Spencer’s apartment. Jimmy listened, making snide remarks every now and then and as he pulled up to the apartment complex, he turns to me.

“Well,” he says, “I’ll wait for you in case Little Bird doesn’t want to speak to you. That was a dick move for you to ask her to leave.”

I nod. “I know,” I reply hanging my head. I take a deep breath before exiting the vehicle and heading to Spencer’s apartment.

Hope fills me as I knock on the apartment door. I take a step back and wait for her to allow me to come in. Seconds pass and I get impatient so I knock again. When she doesn’t answer, I grab her spare key from beneath the welcome mat. I told her it’s not safe for her to keep it there, but at the moment I’m thankful she didn’t remove it. I slide the key into the lock and let myself into the apartment.

There’s no sign of her being home. Every light is off and the only noise I hear is my breathing. I spot my car keys sitting on her coffee table so I know she has been home. Maybe she went straight to bed? I allow myself to venture further into her apartment and into her bedroom. The bed is empty and made. My shirt lays in a crumpled pile on the floor by her dresser.

“Spence?” I call out, though I have a feeling she isn’t here. She doesn’t reply and the hope that once filled me begins to dissipate.

I lay her phone, clothes and shoes that are cradled in my arm on her bed before I head out of the bedroom. There is a pad of paper and a pencil on her coffee table. I grab it before writing her a quick note telling her I was sorry and to call me. I was tempted to write an entire apology out right then and there so she would get it as soon as possible but decided I wanted to do it in person.

After leaving her a note, I grab my keys and head out the door and back down to the parking lot where Jimmy still waited for me.

“Well?” He asks. I shake my head, unable to voice my concern. He gives me a sympathetic smile. “Well, I’m sure she probably just went and got breakfast or had an errand to run.” He’s trying to make me feel better, but I know even he doesn’t believe what he’s saying.

“You’re probably right,” I lie. “She left my keys, though, so I can take myself home.”

Jimmy nods. “Okay. Go home and get some sleep. I’m sure she will call you in a few hours.”

“Yeah, thanks, man,” I reply but something inside me tells me he’s wrong. Jimmy drives off and I turn and begin searching for my car.

Notes

Thank you so much for reading! Sorry it took so long to come out. Today I spent a part of the day searching facebook and twitter for live streams of the first Avenged show for their new tour and what I saw gave me some inspiration to write! I wrote this chapter in like three hours which never happens (so if this chapter totally sucks, thats why! haha) Anyone from Ireland get to go? Or is anyone going to a show soon? I know the lovely MeRi is and I'm super freaking jealous. I'm impatiently waiting for them to announce the US dates. lol

Anyway. Four more chapters left! anyone have any theories on what's going to happen?

Thank you to MeRi, Cheyenne16, kaylakakes, Hollie, imagine fiction, ShadowSkye and foREVer-A7X for commenting!

Title credit: Of Mice & Men "Pain" (Modified line)