Matthew

Larry called and told us we were free to go back to California if we wanted. They were going to have to refund all the tickets and come up with some sort of story other than “our guitarist might have quit the band” but the tour was officially over. Brian, Johnny, and Jimmy headed home as soon as they were granted permission. I offered to buy Spencer another plane ticket so we could go home with them, but she wanted to just wait until morning, which I was happy to do. Staying in Connecticut meant for a little while, just a little while, it was just me and Spencer. She could finally let her guard down with me – for just a little while.

I insisted we stay in that night. I insisted we order movies and room service. I told her I didn’t feel like going out, which wasn’t exactly a lie. I didn’t feel like going out. I felt like staying in, with her. Alone.

We had a great night together. At first, she was upset, but soon I was able to get her to talk and laugh. I kept getting the urge to kiss her, and so I did. She let me, every single time. She liked me. Her heart was torn in two and for right now, that was fine with me because that meant she liked me.

It was a childish thought.

I wasn’t sure if I should make up the couch or assume I was sleeping in bed with her, and so I was relieved when she asked me to stay once I attempted to get out. She curled up next to me and I couldn’t help but think how perfectly her body fit against mine. She was perfect. She was perfect for me and this was meant to be. We were meant to be together.

We flew home together the next day. We talked the entire way home, things were great. She seemed happy. She seemed really happy and that made me happy.

Over the course of the next few days, things between Spencer and I only got better. We weren’t dating, but we were constantly kissing and touching and hanging out. She even slept in the same bed with me until she moved out. I didn’t want her to go but knew it was for the best. If in the future, we did decide to start dating, we wouldn’t want to rush things and I think her living here would be rushing things a little.

Zack sent a group message to everyone in the band one week after the tour ended because of his outburst. He apologized over and over again. I wasn’t sure if anyone in the band but me and Zack knew about the misunderstanding with Spencer’s text messages but I knew everyone knew his outburst had something to do with Spencer’s arrival.

Everyone forgave him. We’ve all had shitty days, and I’ll be the first to admit that what’s going on between me, Zack, and Spencer was a pretty fucked up situation. We all agreed to get drinks at Johnny’s later in the week and I was surprised when Zack invited me.

I was even more surprised when Zack sent another text, this time it was one only visible to me and him. “Can I come over? We need to talk.”

Funny, we need to talk always made me nervous when the girl I was dating said it. I never expected to get nervous when my best friend said it. I texted him back, inviting him over and then I sat nervously waiting for his arrival.

Zack and I didn’t live far from each other so he was over in a matter of minutes. I offered him a beer and took a long swig of mine while I waited for him to tell me what he wanted to tell me.

“I love her, Matt.” He didn’t look at me when he said it.

I couldn’t look at him either. “I know.”

He took a long swig of his beer. “I love her but I know we’re not good for each other. These past few months have been awful. The way she and I treated each other…it’s best if we move on, I know that.”

I didn’t reply. What am I supposed to say to that? Okay, cool So, is it okay if she moves on with me?

Zack must have sensed the awkwardness because he kept talking after a few moments. “If you care for her like you say you do and if she cares for you the same way, who am I to stand in the way?”

“Zack…” I started, “I really didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I never meant to fall for her. I can't even tell you when it happened. It's just like…one day I woke up and things were different. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to sabotage our friendship. You're my best friend.”

Zack nods. “Are you guys together?”

I shake my head. “No. I don't know if we ever will be. She's just confused right now. I think, honestly, that she's feeling the same way you are right now. I know she loves you, dude but she cares about me too. She doesn't want either one of us to get hurt. She doesn't want us to stop being friends or for the band to split. She wants us to be happy. All three of us. It's a fucked up situation.”

“Yeah. The heart wants what it wants,” Zack mumbled.

I nod. “Yeah, I guess so.” It's quiet for a few passing seconds. “I…uh, I told her I was willing to wait for her. While she sorted through her feelings and you and I sorted through our problems. Spencer and I would never date unless you were okay with it. So until she's ready, and you can give us your…well, your blessing I guess, things between us will strictly be platonic. But I really care about her, Z. I could see myself loving her for a very, very long time.”

“Well, like I said, who am I to stand in between the two of you. Seriously, Matt. I'm not going to interfere. I know Spencer and I aren't good for each other no matter how bad we may want to be. So, if you're good for each other then so be it. I mean, I'm not going to want to hang out with the both of you or see you guys kiss or hear about anything concerning your relationship for a while, but I'm not going to tell you that you can't have what you want either.” Zack gives me a half-hearted grin.

“Well, thanks, dude. I appreciate that.” I smile back.

“Yeah.” Zack stands from his seat. “Well, I better get going.”

I stand too and follow him to the door. “This talk was good. I'm glad we were able to have it.”
“Yeah, me too.”

“So, we’re good?” I ask. I just wanted my best friend back. I've missed him.

Zack smiles at me. “Yeah, we’re good.” And with those final three words, he heads out the door.

I felt good. I got my best friend back, I got his blessing to move forward with Spencer. Kind of felt weird, though. Oh well.

I couldn’t wait for Spencer to come over. I didn’t want to tell her the news like it was news…I didn’t want it to seem like I was bragging that I had finally gotten Zack’s blessing to date her. At the same time, however, it was news and I was excited. I was excited because I had been worried for these last few months. I was worried that I was going to either lose the chance to be with Spencer, or I was going to lose my best friend. Now, I have the chance to have both and I know that sounds selfish, but I don’t care. I love Spencer, and I love Zack. I want both of them.

Wait, did I just say I loved Spencer? I meant that in a strictly platonic way, of course. I mean, I care about her and like her in a more-than-a-friend way but love? Yeah, definitely only loved her as a friend…for now.

I think.

I called Spencer and asked her to come over. I was going to ask her to go on a date. A nice, fancy and real date. God, I hoped she said yes.

I felt nervous as I waited for her arrival. I made plans in my head about where I would take her and what we would do. We could go to Mastro’s Steakhouse, it’s good food, it’s nice, tons of menu items…not really private, though. I pull out my phone and begin to make reservations. Maybe I could ask them to give us a more secluded table…

I’m in the middle of making the reservation when I hear a car pull into the driveway and the door close. I mentally groan as the other person on the other line keeps talking.

I hear the front door to the house open and close. “Matt?” I hear Spencer call. She walks into the living room and I can’t help but smile.

“Okay, so we have a reservation for two, tomorrow evening at eight. We will save our most secluded table for you, Mr. Sanders,” the guy on the other line confirmed.

“Yes, sounds great. Thank you.” I tell him.

“Thank you, have a great night.” And then we hang up.

I make the few strides to where Spencer is standing and pull her into a kiss. She kisses me back instantly and I can’t help but smile against her lips. She doesn’t know it but this is the first real kiss. The first kiss that is okay with Zack. I deepen it before pulling away from her.

She’s smiling but has a slightly confused expression on her face. God, she’s beautiful. She looks even more beautiful to me now. Was that even possible? “What was all that about?” She giggles.

I fight the urge to just blurt it out. “I want to take you out tomorrow night. I want to take you on a date. A real date.”

“What?” She laughs, “Matt. We can’t. Zack…if he finds out. If one of your fans sees us…word will get out and…”

It was cute to watch her squirm a little. I shake my head with what I imagine as one of the dopiest grins on my face. “Zack came over today.”

I had interrupted her. She stopped her sentence and gave me a funny look. “Wait, what?”

“Yeah. He texted me and said we needed to talk. So, he came over, and we did just that.” I told her.

We move to the couch and she sits down. I sit down next to her and take her hands into mine. Even her hands feel softer now. “What did he say?”

I didn’t know where to start. Zack just got to the point. He told me he loved her, but I couldn’t relay that message. I couldn’t relay that message because Zack said even though he loved her he knew they weren’t right for each other. I didn’t want to tell her that, it wasn’t my place and even if I did, I’m pretty sure it would just seem like I was trying to make myself look good instead of me just relaying a message.

“He just said that he wants you to be happy. He said if I make you happy, then he’s not going to stand in the way. He said he’s not going to want to hang around the two of us together anytime soon, that he needs time to heal and to move on but he genuinely wants us to be happy,” I reply.

“Oh,” she said softly. “Wow…that’s…that’s…”

I give her a small smile. I would be lying if I said I didn’t expect this – conflicted emotions. I can only imagine how confused she must be feeling. Maybe I should back off; give her time, space. I know it’s a bad idea for her to move from one relationship directly to another but fuck I want her so bad. I want so bad to be able to call her mine, to love her.

“Okay,” she says and I pull myself out of my thoughts.

I ask, “What?”

Spencer smiles at me. It’s a genuine smile and when I realize that I get a funny fluttering feeling in my chest. “Okay, when are we going on this date?”

I return her smile. “Tomorrow night. I’ll pick you up a little before 7:30.”

“Hmm, already have a plan in place.” Spencer kisses me softly. “I like it,” she whispers against my lips.

“And dress nice,” I whisper back before taking her mouth back into mine. Finally.

Notes

Well, it seems that Zack has given up on him and Spencer! With only five more chapters to go, does that mean a happy ending for Matt and Spencer?

Thank you for reading! Thanks to ShadowSkye, Cheyenne16, Kimmie, Hollie, MeRi, imagine fiction, kaylakakes and Mrs.Fiction for commenting!

Title credit: She Wants Revenge "Someone Must Get Hurt"