Zachary

There was a loud, continuous ringing in my ears. I felt like someone just shot off a gun right next to my eardrum. Evelyn…was…what? She’s pregnant? By who? Me? Jeff? Speaking of Jeff…he was here?

My eyes shift from Evelyn to Jeff and back to Evelyn. “What is he doing here?”

She throws me a look of confusion. “What? Zack…because…” She shakes her head. “Did you hear what I said?”

Of course, I did, but I was ignoring it. I was ignoring it because I wasn’t ready for that conversation to happen. “Are you dating him still?”

She looks behind her to Jeff who is sitting on the couch. Before sighing and stepping outside of the house, closing the door behind her. “I guess I haven’t technically broke up with him yet but…you kind of interrupted us.”

“So, you are? I mean, you’re going to break up with him?” I ask her. I don’t want her with him. He’s not good for her. When I leave today I will feel better knowing she’s not with him.

“Well, I’m assuming he’s going to break up with me when I tell him I’m pregnant with your child,” she rolls her eyes.

Fuck, there’s that word again. Pregnant and did she say it was mine? Mine? How could she be so sure? She’s been messing around with me and Jeff for months now, so how can she be so sure that’s she’s…pregnant with my child? The door opens and Jeff steps out.

He looks at me and raises his brows. “What are you doing here?”

“Funny, I was just asking Evelyn the same thing about you.” I retorted. Man, this guy just kept getting under my skin.

Jeff turns to Evelyn. “Is there something going on between you? Answer me, honestly, Evelyn!”

Evelyn looked at loss of words for a brief moment and then she said, “Jeff…I…I’m sorry.”

He scoffs. “I fucking knew it.” He gives me a look, and I silently dare him to hit me. He rolls his eyes before shoving past me and disappearing into the night.

I turn back to Evelyn and she’s staring at me. “You want to come in? We can talk.”

The word comes out of my mouth before I realize it. “Okay.”

She opens the door and I follow her in. “Whitney is at work, so it’s just you and me.”

I nod and sit down on her sofa. I can’t remember why I’m here, why I flew across the country. I had something to tell her, didn’t I? My mind is a mess. She’s pregnant? Pregnant?

“When did you find out?” I ask Evelyn.

She looks uncomfortable on the couch. “A few days ago,” she replies. “I was going to tell you.”

I didn’t know what to say to her. I wasn’t ready to have kids. I didn’t want… “Are you keeping it?”

I don’t look at her when I ask. I feel ashamed for asking but I need to know. “Of course, Zack.”

I nod, completely unsure of what to say now. I wasn’t ready for a kid but I couldn’t abandon her either. Unless… “Are you sure it’s mine?”

If looks could kill, I would have been doomed. “Are you kidding me?”

I sigh. Okay, maybe I could have found a better way to ask her that. “I’m sorry, Evelyn. I just mean…you’ve been sleeping with him too.”

Evelyn scoffs. “Oh, please. Don’t act like I’m so naïve and dumb. Jeff and I haven’t…we haven’t had sex in a while. It’s not possible that this baby is his.”

I nod. “Oh.”

Silence blankets us awkwardly. Evelyn is staring at her hands and I'm staring down at my feet while occasionally glancing up at her. This trip wasn't going how I wanted it to. I wanted to tell her that I loved her, take her on a date start fresh. I didn't want this. I didn't want to be forced into something permanent like a child.

Evelyn shifts in her seat. “You can go.”

“What?” Was she kicking me out?

Evelyn takes a deep breath. “You don't have to stick around. I won't go to the press or blab about it online. I won't file for child support or even give it your last name. I'll tell everyone it was a random guy, a one night stand. You don't have to stay. I know this isn't what you signed up for. It's fine.”

I don’t have to stay? She’s giving me an out? “Oh,” I nod, completely unsure of what else to say or do. I didn’t expect to come all the way to New York to be speechless the entire time. Things have changed so much in just the last few hours. I have to get out of here. I need to clear my head. I stand from the couch and run my hand through my hair. “Okay, so I guess I’m just going to…uh, I’m going to go. I’ll uh…yeah.”

I all but run out of the house. I don’t stop walking until her house is out of view and I’m walking down one of the New York streets.

I slow my pace and take in the buildings around me. I need to clear my head. I see a bar and I wonder if it’s too early to start drinking. I look left down the street, then to my right and left again before jogging towards the building. Hey, it’s 5 o’clock somewhere, right? And day drinking is a thing, right?

I sit down at the bar and catch the bartender’s attention. She’s beautiful, busty and blonde. The three Bs. Back in the day, I would have definitely tried – and most likely succeeded – to fuck her. “What can I get you?” she asks.

A Guinness or do I want something stronger? “Jack and coke, please. Oh, and make it a double.”

She smiles. “Coming right up.”

I pull a cigarette out of its pack and put it between my lips. I fish my lighter out of my pocket andbring it to my cigarette. As I exhale the smoke, the bartender sets my drink down in front of me.

“Let me know if you need anything,” she winks. I smile before I bring the drink to my lips and then take another puff from my Marlboro red.

I can’t believe Evelyn is pregnant. How did this happen? I mean, obviously, I know how it happened. We had sex and we didn’t bother with protection…I guess I just assumed she was on the pill or on the shot or maybe she had one of those things in her arm. There are thousands of ways to be on birth control. She was sleeping with at least two people, she wasn’t on birth control? That doesn’t seem very smart.

Fuck. I’m being stupid. It’s not entirely her fault she’s pregnant. It’s mine too. I should have put on a condom, even if she was on birth control. How could we both be so irresponsible? I don’t want a kid, not yet. Evelyn and I are just now working things out. We’re not ready for a kid! Hell, I don’t know if I will ever be ready for a kid.

I catch the hot bartender’s attention and order another drink.

Evelyn gave me an out. I could just walk away, and act like today never happened. God, that’s a stupid thought. It’s not like I will never see Evelyn again or hear about her. She’s Matt’s cousin, I live in the same town as her mother. I would see Evelyn, I would hear about her.Worse, I would see the baby, hear about it. I would hear all these things about it and know that it was mine. There’s no getting out of it. I wouldn’t be able to do that; I wouldn’t be able to introduce myself as my son or daughter’s uncle.

And even more than that, I can’t leave all of this to Evelyn. I can’t leave her alone and pregnant. I can’t let her raise this baby – our baby – all alone. No, I have to take responsibility for this.
But God, we are not ready for a kid.

I groan and finish off my second drink. The bar has started to get busier and the beautiful, busty, blonde bartender is flirting with some guy a few stools down. I pull out my wallet and lay money on the bar before heading back out onto the streets.

---

I was able to turn my mind off long enough to get five hours of sleep that night. The next morning I woke feeling better about the situation. There was nothing that could be done, so might as well get on board. I mean, I came here to tell Evelyn I loved her. Because I did, I loved her. So, if I love her is a baby really the worst thing that could happen? I mean, sure maybe it happened faster than I wanted but…I loved her. I didn’t want her to do this by herself. And so, she wouldn’t.

I showered, dressed, checked out of the hotel and was on my way to Evelyn’s before 7:00 AM. It was probably rude, she was probably still asleep and after yesterday I would be surprised if she wanted to talk to me at all. I should have called first, but instead, here I was, knocking on her front door, hoping she would answer.

The front door opens and there stands Whitney, disgruntled and in her pajamas. “Zack, what are you doing here? It’s early.”

“I need to talk to her,” I explain.

She shakes her head and gives me a disapproving look. “She doesn’t want to talk to you and I don’t blame her.”

I exhale a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. “I know, Whitney. I didn’t handle it correctly, but I’m here now. I need to talk to her.”

“I’ll tell her you came by,” Whitney told me as she began to shut the door.

Before I knew it, I was throwing my foot forward to catch the door, and then pushed it open. “I’m sorry, Whitney,” I objected, letting myself in. “I’m not leaving until I speak with her.”

“Zack,” she started but I ignored her and climbed the stairs to Evelyn’s bedroom.

I approach the door and it’s cracked open. I gently push it open and can’t help but smile at the sleeping figure on the bed. She looks so small, I couldn’t imagine there being a human being growing inside her. I take a few steps in and kick off my shoes. I crawl in the bed beside her, careful not to wake her and wrap my arm around her waist. Her dark brown hair was thrown up into some sort of messy bun, exposing the back of her neck. I stared at it, tempted to kiss her, to wake her and apologize but knew she needed her rest. I upset her yesterday, despite what she said, and I knew she probably spent a good chunk of the day, and maybe even a part of the night, crying. For now, I would let her sleep and we would talk when she woke. Everything was going to be okay. With that final thought, I slowly drifted off to sleep.

When I wake, I’m in the bed alone. I raise and look around the room, Evelyn is nowhere to be found. I look at my watch, it’s almost noon and man, I’m hungry. I climb out of the bed and walk out of the room. First, I would find Evelyn and then, I would find food.

Evelyn is sitting in the living room. Her laptop is on her lap and she doesn’t notice me until I sit in the chair in front of her. She sighs before closing the laptop and setting it to the side. “What are you doing here, Zack?” She asks.

“You’re pregnant,” I say softly.

“Yeah, I know,” she rolls her eyes. “What are you doing here, Zack?”

I wet my lips, trying to think of all the things I want to say and the correct way to say them. I should have written it all down on notecards, memorized it. “I handled yesterday completely wrong. I was just…caught off guard, I wasn’t expecting, well, that,” I started. She doesn’t reply so I continue. “I just needed to clear my head and I did, and now I’m here.”

“You’re here?” She scoffs. “You think you can just come and go when you want, Zack? No, not anymore. That might have worked these last few months, but I’m pregnant now. I’m going to have a child. There is no coming and going as you wish anymore. This isn’t about just you and me now.”

“I know that,” I tell her. I grab her hand but she pulls away from me. “Evelyn, I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to be here for you and for this baby. Anything you need from me, you’ve got it. Don’t let my stupid decisions from yesterday effect the future. You don’t have to do this alone.”

“You didn’t ask for this, you don’t want this…” Evelyn looks down at her hands.

I watch her picking at her cuticles for a few brief moments before replying. “It’s not how I wanted it to happen, but it’s done now. There’s nothing that can be done about it, nothing that should be done about it. We might as well make the best of it.”

“The best of it? Zack, I live in New York, you live in California. Tell me how that is supposed to work?” Evelyn shakes her head.

I nibble at my lip. If I’m being completely honest, I hadn’t thought that far ahead. “So,” I rack my head for solutions, “move back home.”

“I am home, Zack.”

“I mean, California. Move in with me,” I suggested.

She throws me a look. “Move in with you?”

“Or, just back to California,” I say quickly. “You can get your own place if you want.”

Evelyn is quiet for a long moment. “Don’t you think moving in with you will be moving too fast?”

I raise a brow. “You’re pregnant, Evelyn. I think we’re way past moving too fast.”

She smiles, a small laugh escaping her lips. “That’s true.”

I smile and kneel down in front of her. I take her hands into mine and am relieved when she doesn’t pull away. “I meant what I said yesterday. I do love you. I love you and…I will love this baby.”

“I love you too, Zack.” She replies. I smile and kiss her. Things were going to work out. “Are you hungry?”

This woman could read my mind. “Starving,” I reply.

She grins. “Okay, well, I’ll go get dressed and then we can go.”

“Okay,” I tell her standing up and pulling her to her feet.

I watched her as she climbed up the stairs. God, she was so beautiful and I was so lucky.There was no doubt in my mind that the next few months would be a bit difficult, but I was ready for it. I had Evelyn, we were going to have a baby. In the last forty-eight hours, my life has been flipped upside down…but I knew everything was working out in the way it was meant to. Everything was going to be fine, and for the first time in a long time, I was happy.

Notes

Surprise! :) I've completed this story, so I thought I could go ahead and start updating again! I originally wasn't going to post again until next weekend before Christmas, but whatever! I hope you guys liked this and the next four and final chapters!

Thanks for being patient during the hiatus, and thank you for sticking around!

Thanks to imagine fiction, Hollie, Kimmie, C.H.Sullivan, foREVer-A7X and rebelteaparty for commenting!

Title credit: She Wants Revenge "I Don't Wanna Fall in Love"