Evelyn

My parents were driving me insane by time the next day came. They didn't believe me when I told them I was just back to surprise them, and I didn't blame them. Finally, I told them I was on "official tattoo business," whatever the fuck that is. They believed me, although my mother was still disappointed.

"Have you seen your cousin?" She asked me.

"Which one?"

"Matthew," she replied.

I shook my head. "No. But I called him when I landed. Why?"

She shrugged. "I was just going to see if you were going to see him or any of his friends while you were in town."

I groaned. Now I knew where she was getting at. "Mom, Zack and I will never get back together. Please leave it alone."

My mother sighed. "But he is such a great guy, Evelyn. You seemed so happy when you guys were dating in high school. I just don't understand why you guys broke up." She's staring at me but I don't look at her. I've never told her what really happened between us and I never will. She sighed. "And at the reunion when you cut your hand, he was there to take care of you without being asked - " Except he was asked by his fiancée. "- then he told me the wedding was cancelled and I..."

I threw her a look, surprised. "Wait, what? He told you? When? Why?"

My mom laughed slightly. "Well, I do live in town, Evelyn. I ran into him at the grocery store a few days ago. I asked him about the wedding and he told me it never happened. He said that Gena was a...well, I'm not going to repeat what he said but I guess he found out she was cheating on him. Poor guy, he seemed awfully torn up over it. Such a shame, he's such a great guy..." She trailed off and I let her.

I didn't know what to tell her. I couldn't tell her the truth. I couldn't tell her the real reason why Zack and I broke up and why there's no chance in hell he would ever take me back. I couldn't tell her I still loved him and a part of me always would. I couldn't tell her I already knew about Gena and if it wasn't for me, Zack would have probably married the cheating bitch. I couldn't tell her the reason I was in town was because I slept with Zack and he left in the middle of the night. So, I didn't say anything at all until she spoke again, changing the subject.

---

I texted Zack later in the day and told him something came up and I wouldn't be able to make it to his house before I left for Los Angeles. I wanted to arrive two hours early to make sure I was ready to go before the flight boarded which meant I had to leave Huntington Beach around one due to the drive. This, however, was only an excuse I told Zack. Every part of it was true, I did want to be there two hours early and it did take an hour to get there. I just forgot to mention the fact that I had decided not to see Zack before I left before I had even gone to bed the night before. I just didn't think there was a point. I mean, I didn't plan on coming back to Huntington Beach for a long time and I doubted he'd come to New York City just to see me. So, how long was this new friendship even going to last? Not very.

He texted back, "why not?" And I groaned. What did he mean why not?" I just told him I didn't have time. How much more specific did he want me to get? I was in the middle of texting him back a longer explanation when I received another text from him. "I'm on my way. I'll take you to the airport," it read.

Wait, What? No, no, no, no, no, no.

I texted him back as fast as my fingers allowed me. "No, my dad is taking me."

"Well, tell him you'll save him a trip. He makes the drive everyday anyways. I’m sure he'll be grateful. I'll be there in a few."

I groaned. My plan backfired. I didn't know why I didn't want to see him, exactly. I've wanted us to be friends all this time and now that he was trying...what? I didn't want it anymore? What the fuck was wrong with me? I sighed. That wasn't it. I still wanted to be friends. I still wanted him in my life. I was just scared. I was scared of him hurting me. I was scared of him seeking revenge. I knew I couldn't let fear control me but fuck, that was easier said than done.

"Okay," I finally texted back.

A few minutes later I was saying my goodbyes to my parents and running out the door before my mother could see who was picking me up. I only had my oversized purse which had my overnight essentials and a change of clothes in it, so I didn't need to worry about any sort of luggage.

"Uh...hi?" Zack gave me a weird look as I jumped in his car and slammed the door shut while looking over my shoulder.

"Hey," I smiled, hoping my mother didn't see Zack or recognize his car. "Sorry, I uh...it's a long story."

He shrugs and begins to drive away. "If you say so."

It's quiet for the first few minutes. The radio is on but it's not very loud. Zack is drumming his hand to the beat against the steering wheel.

I rack my brain for something to say "So, did you call Julie after I left yesterday?" I asked.

"Oh, ha, ha." Zack smiled. God, I love the way he smiled. Zack pulled onto the highway and we didn't speak for a long moment. Would this awkwardness ever end?

"So, how was your trip?" Zack asked me.

I shrugged. "Short. My parents don't understand why I came back or why I just came back for one day. I told them it was a work thing.”

Zack laughed. "What, you didn't want them to know you came to verbally kick my ass because I left in the middle of the night after we slept together?"

I felt my cheeks get out at Zack's acknowledgment of our sexual encounter but I wasn't sure why. "Obviously," I try to laugh.

"Again, I'm sorry about that, I was - am - going through a rough patch. At least we’re friends now because of it, you know? And we've done it before so it's not like it's a big deal." Except it was a big deal to me. Sex could never be just sex with Zack. I loved him. His touch left me craving for more, but I couldn't let him know that, I could never allow him to know that. We were just friends and we were barely that! I just had to make sure sex with Zack never happened again - which shouldn't be too hard with him living in California and me in New York. Also, that was a one-time thing - well, two if you count the time when we were kids - and we were drinking. He probably doesn't even want to have sex with me again.

Zack and I talked about random subjects on the way to LAX and I was surprised when he parked his car and got out instead of just dropping me off at the door.

"You don't have to stick around," I tell him. "I have plenty of things to keep me occupied for the next couple of hours."

Zack shrugged and followed me into the airport. "Yeah, but if your flight gets cancelled or something last minute you'll have a ride back to Huntington Beach."

I laughed. "You better not have just jinxed me, Zachary."

He gave me a smile. "I don't understand why you don't like it here. Huntington is the best place in the world. I'd never want to live anywhere else and I've been all over the world."
I smiled softly, deciding not to mention the time he told me he would willingly give up everything to move to New York for me. He loved me so much and I used him. Goddamn, I was such an awful person in high school.

Things felt normal between me and Zack for the first time in twelve years, and when my flight was called to board, I couldn't help but feel disappointed. I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to leave Zack. In just a little over twenty-four hours we had started to reconcile and things were starting to feel good, normal.

Now, I was leaving and who knew the next time we sound see each other again I wanted to stay. I wanted to stay here with Zack but I couldn't. My life was in New York. My friends were in New York. Whitney was in New York. Jeff, my job, my life - all of it was in New York. I belonged there, I had to go back. California was never a home to me. Even when Zack and I were dating I knew I didn't want to stay in California. Our relationship would have never worked out, even if the deal between Matt and I never existed. Our relationship would have never survived the distance no matter how badly I would have wanted it to. Just life this friendship won't survive, no matter how bad I want it to.

"Alright, well, have a safe flight and keep in touch with me. The next time I'm in New York or you're in Cali, we need to hang out. Grab a drink or something." Zack smiled at me. He was so beautiful.

I sighed. "Zack, I'm really happy we've been able to turn a new leaf in the last few weeks and make up but let's not fool ourselves into thinking were actually going to stay in touch." I don't know why I said what I said. I knew I should have kept it to myself. Now I felt like a bitch.
Zack's green eyes pierced mine. He looked...sad? Disappointed? I wasn't sure. "Oh," he said. Neither one of us said anything for a couple of long seconds. "Well, alright then."

Now it's me who is filled with disappointment. I know now that I said what I said because I wanted Zack to tell me I was wrong. I wanted him to reassure me that he really did want me in his life and that he would try his hardest to stay in touch with me and visit me.

But he didn't. And now I regret saying what I said more than ever because now he was thinking I didn't want to try to talk and keep in touch. I open my mouth to take back what I said, but before I could say anything the voice on the overhead speaker announced the last call for my flight. If I didn't get on now I would miss my flight and be stuck California until the next flight.

It's tempting.

"You should go," Zack tells me. Before I have the chance to say anything he’s walking away and I have no other choice but to board my flight and head three thousand miles away.

Notes

Thank you for reading! What the fuck is going on between Evelyn and Zack? I hope you guys enjoyed! i have a new story out featuring Matt and an OC, so go check that out if you want. It's called My Sweet Medusa and you can find it here!

Don't forget to leave feedback. I love hearing from you guys!

Title credit: Panic! at the Disco "The Good, the Bad and the Dirty"