Matt's POV

When I set the bottle back down I stared right into the brown eyes of one of my best friends. He sat down opposite of me and had one of his eyebrows lifted, typical sign that he wanted me to talk. Thing was, I didn’t want to. What I wanted right now was to drink and forget.

I made fucking fool out of myself, and I ran into it head first. And he let me ran into it, he could have fucking said a word… I knew by the look he gave me earlier, that he was very aware of what I was talking about and that he indeed knew something, why he didn’t tell, was beyond me though.

“That bad?” He asked and took the bottle from my hand taking a swig of his own.
“What does it look like, Haner?” I snapped and closed my eyes, shit… He wasn’t to blame, well maybe a little, but I was the ass who brought this on myself, I couldn’t be mad at him really.

“Fine, will you tell me now, what’s all behind this?” Brian asked and I held my hand out for the bottle but he held it out of reach for me.

I sighed “Well, guess what… After yesterday night and her sudden departure I went today to the gym and wanted to talk and apologize… I found her there, she was closing up. We talked shortly, she wanted to apologize but instead of letting her speak, I took the chance and kissed her. What you think happened then, Haner?” Brian looked at me with pity and cursed.“Shit, Matt… I.. I didn’t really know. I mean… At the meet and greet she did say she was sending her boyfriend a picture, but I kinda took it as a fake, you know!? You know how some girls are when they meet us, I mean… I didn’t really think about it much back then, but at the party… I don’t know, I was wondering, but I thought you talked about it. I mean, would she be the first girl you are after that’s in a relationship?” Brian shrugged like it’s no big deal and I rolled my eyes.

“Yes, Brian. I am not a home wrecker… I wasn’t… I didn’t… Fuck” I cursed, she should have told me. Why didn’t she? Wasn’t she happy with the guy? Why would she else respond to my kiss?

“You want her?” Brian asked looking at me straight and I sighed “I did, yes…I think I do still… But… she doesn’t wanna see me again. You should have seen her, Haner. She ran… I mean it, she freaking ran away from me. Telling me she doesn’t wanna see me ever again… That was pretty clear.” I remembered her words and her face, hurt and misery written all over, my heart hurting thinking of it.

“So you don’t want her now?” Brian held the bottle out to me and I took it. I held it up taking a long drink before answering.
“I still do… that kiss, our talks, fuck… I can’t just forget… Even though I know I should.” I breathed deeply in and out and Brian shook his head.

“Then don’t… I never thought you were a quitter, man? I mean… I never saw you back down from a challenge… why now?” Brian had a smirk on his face. “I never gave a shit about home wrecking… if they are willing, it’s not my fault, I’m not betraying anyone, they are. So, if you give up maybe I…” Brian trailed off and I knew exactly what he wanted me to do, and fuck him, he was doing it good.

I wasn’t a quitter and I wouldn’t let Brian get near her, not that he would, knowing I had set my eyes on her, still he loved to play some games and wasn’t that asshole pushing the right buttons with me?! Yes, he fucking was.

And he wasn’t as bad as he made himself sound, he may be a man- whore but he did care about his friends and even his affair’s feelings, as long as he was with them, that is.

“So what you want me to do?” I asked and finished the bottle off, the alcohol making it harder to think and concentrate, probably should sleep it off soon.

“What we always do, fight for it and make it ours. We came from nothing building all this up, now if you think it’s worth it do it…” I nodded, as far as I was concerned, I think she was worth it. From moment one, even if that sounded weird.

“ If you just want a quick fuck, you should think if it’s worth the effort. I mean… she doesn’t look like the one night stand kinda girl and if she already ran from you after a kiss…” I shook my head, no she doesn’t seem to me like that either.

“Maybe she just doesn’t want you? Thought about that?” I narrowed my eyes at him and he gave up a laugh. “Fine, you think no women can say no to M. Shadows, huh? Whatever…” He shrugged and motioned for his couch.

“Wanna change to beer and hang out? Trying to figure out what to do?” Brian asked and I shook my head, trying to concentrate more on the task.

“You made up your mind already?” He grinned and I rolled my eyes “Fuck off… I’ll go home, sleep it off and try to think of a way to reach her. I have no phone number, no address… I just know where she is working” I said and Brian nodded.

“Well, then that’s your place to start, if you need my help let me know” Brian said and I nodded.
“Thanks and… sorry about the-” I started but he waved me off “No harm done…”

I walked out the door and made the rest of the way home by foot. I arrived home and opened up the door finding a letter on the doorstep.

Matt,
I’m sorry for the way I reacted.
You surprised me and as I told you, I have a boyfriend.
I shouldn’t have said the things I said afterwards, it wasn’t your fault but mine.
I’m sorry.

Ella

I stared at the female handwriting and reread it a couple of times. She had been here, while I hadn’t. Fuck, that would have been my chance to talk to her again while we both calmed down.

But reading that sentence ‘it wasn’t your fault but mine’ gave me the shivers, and not in a good way. Wasn’t that the worst break up sentence ever?
Was this her way to say goodbye?!

Well, if so that wouldn’t get her far, because I wouldn’t be giving up that easily.
Brian was right, when had I given up once? I wasn’t some coward, I would fight and I would convince her, that I was worth a shot.

Ella’s POV

After Jake hung up on me, I thought about everything again. I knew I made a mistake, I never wanted this to happen!
I didn’t think Matt would kiss me, didn’t even think he was flirting with me, at least not to the limit where he would think to make a move.

Of course, thinking about it, it complimented me, and I enjoyed it, too much even. I loved Jake, I did with all my heart, but then how and why could I enjoy the kiss with another man?! And how could I explain to him the situation when he was coming home?

I wanted to hate him for being so concerned over the phone, I wanted to hate how he was afraid something had happened, but in the end, I could only love his caring side. He thought something bad had happened to me, but it hadn’t happened to me, it had happened to us.

After realizing what an ass I had been towards Matt, I decided to drive over. I didn’t have his number, but I knew where he lived. So I decided going there, and apologizing. I know I told him I didn’t wanna see him ever again, but wasn’t that another lie.

I liked his company, I enjoyed spending time with him, and the worst, I liked the kiss.
I was a walking disaster, from jobless to boyfriendless in two weeks.
I couldn’t believe how this had gone so wrong, I couldn’t believe that any other man would trigger just the slightest interest in me, but there was one, Matt.

And I still didn’t want to lose Jake, was that selfish of me? Yes, and I knew it. But I loved Jake. I wouldn’t keep any secrets from him and I wouldn’t try and make it sound less than it was, I owed him the truth and I owed him to give him time and space and that’s what I planned to do.

I packed a bag, threw in some of my clothes, my toothbrush, my cosmetics. I couldn’t believe it, couldn’t believe this, but didn’t see any other way.
I could imagine, when Jake would be coming home tomorrow, he wouldn’t want to see me around, hell I wouldn’t want to see me.

I set the bag on the couch and now fulfilled my plan to tell Matt that I was sorry. I left the bag where it was and took the car keys. I still had to figure out where I would be going but first I wanted to get one thing off the agenda.

I drove the way from memory towards Matt’s house, it wasn’t as bad as I imagined, and it wasn’t even far. I hadn’t realized just how close we were living actually.

I stopped at the street, it was dark but I quickly made my way over and rang the doorbell. I waited but nothing happened. I took a few steps back to see if there were any lights on.
I knew it was late, but it had been just about 1 or 2 hours since we parted, was he asleep already? Or wasn’t home at all.

I didn’t see his car in the drive way, so maybe he hasn’t gotten home yet.
I sighed and thought about what to do. I couldn’t wait, not knowing when he would show up or not. So I decided to go back to the car, I ripped a site from my journal and wrote a quick note for him.

Basically, I was sorry. Well, and something that sounded like a goodbye, but not in that way. I just hoped he would understand.

I shoved the note under the door and sighed, maybe it was for the best that he wasn’t here. I walked back to my car and drove back home.

I looked around the apartment and sat back down on the couch. I put my head in my hands sighed, my head was full of thoughts and I had no idea what to do.

How could I be so confused about this?! Why was there even a reason to be confused? I knew I loved Jake, but then why would I think about Matt? Why was he always pushing himself into my thoughts?!

I grabbed the bag and set it beside the door, I still had no idea where I would be going, especially not at this late hour. So I decided to wait till morning. I would take a cap and drive over to my brother’s house, I already dreaded the question about why I would be there, but I didn’t have much of an option really, better than going to my parents.

I lay down on the couch and felt hot tears forming, slowly running down my cheek. I wanted to talk to someone, but I just didn’t know who. Liz wouldn’t understand, or maybe too good? I couldn’t talk to her about it…

I closed my eyes and let the tears come, I took the blanket and pulled it over me, I inhaled and it smelled of Jake’s cologne which made me cry just harder, thinking I may have lost him forever… he deserved better… much better… I would leave first thing in the morning, so he would have his space and I could think about all this, even though I had no idea where it would lead me.

Jake’s POV

“Jake, I- I didn’t mean for this to happen, really.” Her words were still ringing in my ear.
“Matt, his name is Matt” Who was this guy?

I had logged into my work computer and tried to find a fitting member of our club, but couldn’t. No regular customer that fit the age and name was listed there. Maybe Matthew or Mattie or something, or maybe she was lying? What if she made up the name all together to shield him?

I closed the laptop and sighed, I let my head fall back into the headrest and closed my eyes. I thought about the things I would say, answers I would demand.
Would she tell me willingly? Or would she try and play it down?
What if it wasn’t just a kiss? What if it was going on way longer?

“Can I get you something, sir?!” A female voice asked and I opened my eyes, she gave me a smile and leaned further down, the cleavage of her uniform probably way deeper than it normally was.

I had seen her before, she was walking around the plane a couple of times, stopping at my seat extra long, even though no one was sitting beside me and I had my eyes closed, to avoid any discussion.

But this time I did react, surprised at her voice even. Her eyes wandered up and down my body, until they rested back on my face again and I returned her smile with a brief one, then dismissing her “No, thanks. I’m fine” She didn’t move, “Anything at all, just let me know” She licked her lips, leaning down even further.

I looked at her more closely, she was pretty, no question, blonde hair, big blue eyes, a hourglass figure.
But she wasn’t the woman I wanted, the woman I wanted was home, hopefully home. But I had no idea if she still wanted me, or if this was just a final goodbye she was giving me, that I should be giving her?!

“You sure, I mean also-” She leaned so far down, her lips were almost brushing my ear “-duties that are not in my normal work plan” She got back up but her hand was about to brush my cheek. I grabbed her wrist and she gasped “I told you once, No thank you. I won’t say it again this friendly. Leave me alone.” I told her and she didn’t even to notice the aggravation in me, maybe was even just triggered some more.

“Come on, we are arriving soon, no one will know” She winked at me and I had enough. I motioned her to lean down to me again, she did so eagerly.
“I don’t want you to come to my seat again. I don’t want your flirting, I don’t want the number you try to shove my way, and I don’t want to spend even a second alone with you. I am in a relationship and that is about all you need to know, got me?” I spat and when the word relationship left my mouth, it was almost like a bitter taste.

Was it still that? Was Ella still willing? Was I still willing, no matter what happened? I couldn’t know before I didn’t know the whole story to it, right?!

The woman was a sight to look at, there wasn’t any doubt, but she wouldn’t be a temptation to me and so wouldn’t be any other. I just wanted to go back home and see if there was still hope for the only woman that I wanted.

An evil voice inside my head was talking to me suddenly, why shouldn’t you get a taste of someone else? She would do?! Why not even the score?

I shook my head, I didn’t want that, not with her or with anyone, that wouldn’t help me in the situation. This was stupid and I had no idea where this voice had come from, maybe the hurt side of me had wanted to consider the thought, but the loving side, the one that didn’t want to give up shoved it away.

I didn’t see the stewardess again until we landed, her eyes were following me all the way till I left the plane, she didn’t say another word and I was grateful for that.

I got into a cab and headed home right away, it was still early, I took a mid night flight, not able to wait till morning or afternoon. I wanted to get to the bottom of it and I wanted to talk to Ella, see what this really was about.

I paid the cabby and walked up to Ella and my apartment, I opened the door and the first thing that I saw was a packed bag at the entrance. Ella’s bag, full of clothes and necessities, my heart squeezed painful in my chest and my palms were getting sweaty.

I dropped my bag and walked further in, was she on the verge of leaving, leaving me, leaving us all behind.

“Ella?” I asked and didn’t get a reply, or had she left already and would get her stuff later?! Fear was now squeezing my insides and I called again “Ella?”

I walked into the kitchen and found it empty, when I walked into the living room with big steps I opened my mouth to call again, but finding Ella on the couch under the blanket in one small package.

I sighed, feeling relief that she didn’t leave yet but when I looked at her also feeling hurt. She had kissed another man. When we were this happy, when I loved her so bad?! How could she do this to us? To me?

I walked closer and sat down beside her, I saw the circles underneath her eyes, she must have cried too, her eyes looking all puffy.
I let my hand run over her hair until her eyes blinked open, a small smile on her lips but then her eyes getting bigger and she sat up straight, my hand falling from her.

“Oh Jake, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be- I wanted to-” She stuttered and rubbed her eyes, now I was sure she cried seeing her awake like this and my heart beat faster in my chest.

“I left early.” I swallowed thickly “Did you want to leave? Before I come home?” I asked and dreaded the answer, hearing her say this would probably rip my heart out completely.
“Yes, I thought-” She started but I stopped her, holding my hand up.

“Why? Ella, why did this happen? And what do you want me to do? Tell me!” I demanded and Ella closed her eyes, she didn’t even look at me when they opened again.
.
“I don’t know. I think it’s best for me to leave… I know you deserve better, Jake. I never meant to hurt you, really!” She bite her lip and that was one of the things I loved about her, those little things, when she was nervous or uncertain, I could read her like a book, or that’s what I thought I could.

“Are you going to him?” I asked the words barely coming out, more a growl then a real sentence.
“No, god.. no! Jake, I was planning to go to my brother’s or parents.” She replied and I let out the breathe that I had been holding.

“Why don’t you stay here?” I asked, I still needed answer, needed her to be close, needed to fully understand what happened and how we could fix it, if we could fix it?!

She began shaking her head, I saw guilt, hurt and something else I couldn’t name in her eyes, but I didn’t know what to make of it “I don’t think that is a good idea. I think we both should-” Again I cut her off.

“Ella, please stay?”

Notes

Wasnt that a quick new chapter?!
U liked that?
Tell me in the comments! And also let me know the following:

Now I let you answer for Ella!

Should she stay or go and give it some distance?

A)Stay with Jake
B)Distance and stay at her brothers